Tapioca giraffe (491 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TMB (View user info) at 2006-09-27 06:53:45 EDT
I have just returned having taking a rather unsatisfying pee. You see, I noticed that I can't piss if I just stand at the toilet. I hadn't realised until now but I need to spit, clean my teeth with my tounge and put my hand on the wall in order to be able to make water in a timely fashion.
I assume I am probably not alone in this kind of behaviour, there must be someone else out of the 3 billion or so other men on this planet. THERE MUST BE....ahem.
I will now endevour to train myself not to have to go through this routine everytime, I am wasting so much of my life. I estimate that it takes up an extra 15 seconds and I pee about 10 times a day. If I say that I will live for another 50 years then that's about a month of wasted time infront of the toilet. A MONTH!
I was recently offered a month working in the slums to help malnourished and crippled children, I told them "No can do, I'm taking a piss."
I'm scared. I have a plan though. If I start to feel the need to do any of those thing I'll hum that tune from Scarface and GTA "Push it too the limit, THE LIMIT, Take it to the razors edge, don't look down, you'll lose your head.." etc.
Please wish me luck. For the sake of science and malnourished children.
User Reviews
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-27 09:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is an old used +2, but it's a 2 nonetheless.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-27 09:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My enthusiasm for this experiment has dropped with the lack of good lucks, and god speeds. I am ashamed for you.
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-09-27 08:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I want tee pee for my bunghol
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-27 08:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-27 08:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's all a matter of stamina. In the morning, I can unleash niagara falls at the mere sight of the porcelain bowl. But when the time comes for my "Goodnight" piss, I just have to stand there and wait for gravity to do it's work.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO incontinence is teh roxxorz.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why on earth would anyone go anywhere near poor Brazilians? Hasn't everybody in the world seen City of God?
Don't answer that, it wasn't rhetorical but I've suddenly grown bored of speaking to you. Ubermadness has worn me out.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, if you are going to continue your fantastic LOTR series, please write me in as some manner of beast.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unfortunately Berty, old fellow, it could be any number of women. I left the girl you saw, about a month ago.
It doesn't hurt to pee. I did have to have an ultrasound on my sack the other day though.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Possibly Chris, afterall you have been worried about that Brazzilian bird porking all manner of men.
Is this a recent development? Does it hurt to urinate?
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A bit bloggish, but it's all good.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
venereal even
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I have veneral disease..
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Noope, no one else. Just you.
Freak.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:18:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thankyou Beano.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Best of luck