How To Pick Up Dicks (993 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.44 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jewfag (View user info) at 2006-09-28 01:54:57 EDT
So I was eating at IHOP with my friend and his girlfriend today and I posed a question to him.
"If you were FORCED into being ass-fucked by a gay person of your choice, who would it be?"
He rolled his eyes and said he didn't give a shit about my stupid scenarios, but I insisted that he answer. To shut me up he said "Dan", who is a gay guy we know. As soon as the name escaped his lips I sneered at him and called him a fucking faggot.
Next he said "Vince", who is another queer we know. Again, I called him a gay faggot.
Already bored with the game, he asked me, "Is there a right answer here? Is there someone who I could actually choose without being called a faggot?"
I winked at him, and under the table I gently slid my bare foot up against his leg.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:12:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
as far as niggers go, you're the niggeryist of them all.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-09-28 20:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice posts can take some time to write.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-09-28 20:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how about a nice post about animals or something?
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-09-28 19:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've posted nothing but garbage for months now and I still have a better rating than you, lunchbox.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-28 17:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow.
You suck at life AND humor.
Nice Daily Double.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-09-28 16:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Between your tongue and the roof of your mouth?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-28 13:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the one on the right has had a liiiiitle bitch too much E.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-28 13:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I pulled this out of my vag for you.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-09-28 10:15:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chuck Norris....you can't get raped by Chuck Norris, because that would imply that you didn't want it.
A man can't get mad at his wife for fantasizing about Chuck Norris in bed, because he is doing the exact same thing...
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-28 09:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-28 07:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You nail gay evertime.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-28 07:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-28 05:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have an issue with the fact that I even clicked on this post. I'm gonna run with I just needed to know what 'not' to do, in case I was doing it accidentally.
I feel marginally more happy with myself.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-28 04:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-28 04:28:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
He's crude
He's unfunny
He alienates those he talks to
He is
THE AMERICAN CONVERSATIONALIST!!!
====================
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
me to a tee
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-28 04:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's crude
He's unfunny
He alienates those he talks to
He is
THE AMERICAN CONVERSATIONALIST!!!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-09-28 04:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hahaha
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-09-28 03:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what Ubermadness should be like.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-09-28 02:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fag.
The only answer is Jonny Depp. Jonny Depp makes everyone happy in their special place.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-28 02:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gay faggot.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-09-28 02:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The best part about this story is that I don't give away how the friend reacts to my come-on. You can come up with your own gay pancake fantasy sequence in your head. Personally, my fantasy would somehow involve boysenberry syrup and anuses.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-09-28 02:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok, I guffawed.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-09-28 01:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment