An attempt at descriptive writing (375 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.14 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Li & Chen (View user info) at 2006-09-29 08:00:16 EDT
Feedbacks are most welcomed..
After parking our rented car in the ferrys vehicle hold, I meandered through various corridors, bulkheads and stairways to arrive at the main passenger deck. My friends were already seated at the front end of the cabin, where there were large windows overlooking the bow deck and the sea.
A young girl of about 6 was sitting with on a window sill with her back facing the glass. She appeared to be in an unpleasant mood- not vexing, foul, nor cross; just a temporary case of sulkiness. Her father was gently trying to persuade her to sit on the seats instead, but with limited success. She continued sitting on the sill, occasionally looking at her father when he was speaking, sometimes shaking her head ever so slightly, but mostly looking as if he wasnt talking to her.
The father gave up after a few attempts, and tended to his other children while letting the girls annoyance mellow out.
The little girl continued sitting at the window, staring hard ahead at nothing in particular, hands resolutely crossed over her chest, her toy stuffed horse lying limply in a heap by her side on the window sill.
Just at that moment, the dull water-sodden clouds stirred, revealing the morning sun. The suns rays painted the cabin with elongated strokes of rich yellow beams that came through numerous windows, suffusing the entire cabin in a light golden tincture. The mood in the cabin appeared to lighten considerably.
Sunlight entered the girls window obliquely, illuminating her wavy blonde-brunette tresses from the side, highlighting some, shadowing others. Something caught her eye, and she turned her head slightly towards it. Golden rays from the sun shone on her eyes at an acute angle, too slanted to enter her pupils. Nonetheless, the light did hit her irises, illuminating the brown colouration with a brilliant wash of gold. In the sunlight, her brown eyes shone with a colour of light wood gently coated with caramel.
She continued looking, her face set in that same uncompromising expression, hands still crossed over her chest, the sun highlighting her hair, and eyes shining with a golden brown light.
User Reviews
Submitted by fclo002 (user info) at 2006-12-21 12:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-29 16:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NOW I AM HUNGRY
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-09-29 14:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-29 08:06:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
wasn't instead of wasnt
girl's instead of girls
Otherwise this was OK.
Submitted by DuiTicket (user info) at 2006-09-29 14:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it was ok
Submitted by Nancypants (user info) at 2006-09-29 11:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked this
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-29 08:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wasn't instead of wasnt
girl's instead of girls
Otherwise this was OK.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-29 08:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment