Ashes and Soot (244 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.87 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by morontian (View user info) at 2006-09-29 10:41:08 EDT
Marie was the most beautiful girl in the world. Really. No shit. We graduated from high school together, oh hell, it must have been about fourteen years ago. Fourteen years. Wow. But she's still got it, man. Sure, she's put on five or ten pounds, but boy they went to the right places. She's got that fat that just looks good to chew on, know what I mean? You just wanna bite into that ass. Rraarrrr.
So, I have to admit that I was shocked to run into her at the adult bookstore. At first I thought that she and her revoltingly lucky husband must be the adventurous types and that she was on a mid-day quest for the next kinky grail. Surely this prize of a woman would not be spending her nights alone; and, just as surely said incubus must be the cock of the walk. I resisted my initial instinct to duck and run and chose instead to confront her in the den of filth we had both sunken ourselves into. Greatest decision ever.
It turns out that she is in fact single, and even better, free for the evening. Let's see, a quick glance to the clock on the wall tells that it is half past noon. When does the evening officialy start for two kids in their thirties on a Saturday? Would it be somewhere around half past noon? You betcha. The only question is: am I going to follow her or is she going to follow me?
She follows me. First, to Ponderosa for some steak and small talk and then to the house for some serious catching up. I couldn't believe Marie is still single, she just seems so cool. She's definitely not a prude, (you should have seen what she walked out of that store with) and she's in no way a hardass (she said the word "fuck" exactly one time less than I did and softly farted in response to an irrepressable belch that rushed me.) This girl was bitchin'.
So, after much wine and very playful conversation we ended up playing a few rounds of "I Never" with straight Jim Beam being the drink of choice. Long story short: we did it. Many times. Many positions. It was only twelve hours prior that I had finished a twelve hour marathon in which I had read four hundred and twelve pages of "The Traveler," and now I was basking in the sweat of this gorgeous young woman that had grown out of the girl of whom I had fantasized about on many a tortured adolecent night. It was a sticky dream come true.
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Afterwards, we were spooning on the living room floor. I was looking longingly at the stars through the window as she placed small kisses on the backs of my shoulders and tugged on a lock of my hair. I tried not to flinch when she asked again: "Do you ever think about having kids?" I could hear the wanting smile in her voice. To a guy lookin' for some pootinanny, that smile is akin to seduction; to a guy who's just been polished off, that smile is desperation.
"You know, I really don't think we should talk about that right now, honey. Why don't we just enjoy ourselves?" A fleeting expression of disdain passed over her face and disappeared again with the blur of a humming bird's wing. The riddle of this woman's availability was unravelling itself before me in a rather magnificent fashion.
"I am enjoying myself. I was just curious about your plans for the future." Again. It's not necessarily the words, it's the tone. And yeah, maybe it IS the words, too.
All the sanity seemed to be draining from the proceedings at an alarming rate, and since I couldn't think of anything else to say to this girl, I jumped up and ran to the fireplace. "Do you hear that?!?" I asked.
"What?" she asked straightening up and gathering the comforter to conceal her breasts. A beat of nerves had entered her voice and I hoped I would be able to work with it.
"It's Santa Claus!!!" I yelled.
"No way!!!" she squealed and discarded her robe in a rush to get a closer look into my cold, empty hearth.
She was a scant few steps away when I pulled on the monkey statue that rested on top of the mantle above the fireplace. The trap door opened and I stuck my foot out to trip Marie and send her falling end over end into the blackness therein. My ear caught the sound of the catching of her breath, and I saw in her eyes the inevitablility of death... yet my hand betrayed. It laid itself upon her shoulder and drew her back, like a promise to a friend made in a lax moment of selflessness.
Dammit.
She looked into my eyes and I saw tears of love and admiration beginning to swell and sparkle. "You saved my life," she whispered.
"I TRIED TO KILL YOU!!!" I shouted.
The stunned look dropped from her face like a kubaki mask and she threw her arms around me giggling, "Oh, you couldn't hurt me, baby! You're going to be a Daaaaaddy!!!"
"I really would appreciate it if you would drop that shit." Why was I feeling this way? Why didn't I just kill her and get it over with?
"I'm going to be a Mommy and you're going to be a Daddy and we're going to have bunches of kids who are going to love us and love us forever!" Her voice was climbing higher and higher as the words poured out of her mouth. As she reached the reedy cresendo that was "forever," I saw a crack magically appear in the mirror which was hanging on the stone-tiled wall. It was offering a framed portrait of things to come. Action must be taken. Now.
"Our children won't love us," I said as I gently tilted Marie's face to mine. "They will hate us and they will hate life and they will probably commit suicide by the time they hit puberty."
The tears were back, but they gave off a different aroma this time. I could smell the salt with which they burned even as I held Marie out to arm's length. Her lip quivered as she searched my eyes for the sense of the words I had spoken. "Why would you say such horrible things?" she asked in a painful, cracked voice.
"It's only the truth I have for you, my dear." I sighed outwardly as I stuggled against a laugh inwardly. "You know nothing about rock and roll. And you are crazy. And so am I."
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I've looked back on that night a thousand times over the last year, and each time I do, I hope for a different outcome. But of course, that is a sign of insanity in itself, isn't it? Going over the same thing over and over thinking that the obvious facts will change and that your shitty world will melt away into a milk chocolate paradise with no one being any the wiser? Sort of like re-watching Titanic and hoping the boat won't sink, or watching The Passion of the Christ for the 20th time hoping that maybe this time the Jews won't kill God. Maybe that's a little nuts. Almost as nutty as the gleam in this infant's eyes as he cries and cries. His mother is still on "vacation." I think she's going to be there for a while. Our son, Nicholas, on the other hand, seems to be making himself at home quite nicely. He even likes to pull on my hair just like his mommy used to do. I didn't like it from her, either.
Me? I'm just going through the motions. Same ole, same ole. I'm learning the role well. Maybe I'm even getting into it more than I think. I mean, it's just me and the baby and here I've been celebrating the holidays by decorating the place. Halloween was cool with the jack-o-lanterns on the porch. Thanksgiving was alright. But the next one will be the best of all, I think. I really do. I've already hung a stocking around the neck of the monkey on the mantle. Yep. It's all ready for St. Nick.
Ho - ho - ho
User Reviews
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-09-30 10:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-09-29 14:34:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you really have a kid?
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No. Never. The blood dies with me.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-29 22:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
odd
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-09-29 14:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you really have a kid? If so, congradulations for being potent and all that rot, but do you really need a kid? Sure they're fun to laugh at, but eventually you'll realise you'd been laughing at yourself all this time and it probably gets really depressing from then on in.
If not, then... yeah.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:34:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Myne Eyes!
Submitted by rillins (user info) at 2006-09-29 12:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this. The picture was a bit over the top though...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-29 11:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that apollo's love-child? There's now a world wide shortage of red fabric, after making that hat.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-09-29 11:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-29 10:49:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
Your wife gave birth to santa claus.
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That's actually quite interesting. The thought didn't occur to me.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-29 10:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-29 10:54:10 (#)
Ranking: 1
The girl I remember being gorgeous at my school - she's now a lesbo who works at the local branch of Kwik-Fit, weilding a tyre iron.
So many dreams shattered.
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But so many more invoked. No?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-29 10:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The girl I remember being gorgeous at my school - she's now a lesbo who works at the local branch of Kwik-Fit, weilding a tyre iron.
So many dreams shattered.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-29 10:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your wife gave birth to santa claus.
Submitted by Nancypants (user info) at 2006-09-29 10:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
big, unfocused pictures hurt my eyes