A Funny Cut and Paste (781 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.52 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Wildman (View user info) at 2006-09-29 13:37:23 EDT
Copied from: Intergate.com
ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.
A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00).
He and a friend go duck hunting in mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go on a lake with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the New NAVIGATOR.
They decide they want to make a natural looking water area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce.
So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse.
Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along With the Navigator), decide on the following course of action: they lite the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...???
Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING. Especially things thrown by the owner.
You guessed it: the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it hits the ice. The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop.
The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming. One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused then continues on.
Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator.
The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dogs rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.
Then """"""""""BOOOOOOOOOOOOM""""""""""!! !!!
The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with...... "I can't believe this just happened" looks on their faces.
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments. The dog is okay.
Newspaper item from Wisconsin...
AND THEY MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE IN THE SOUTH?
User Reviews
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-10-03 03:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The sad thing is you're going to think I'm giving you this rating because it's an old story copied and pasted off the internet.
Well...I kind of am but also because it isn't funny, it's written like a kids story and it's crap.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-03 02:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-10-02 22:46:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
This was a total waste of time and energy.
wm
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Did I do something to offend you cranky pants?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-09-30 13:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this was a funny story since i'm a hunter/sportsman
it must have no value anymore since a few people have already seen or heard it
have a +2 to offset Rizzo/Jonny X and the rest of the assholes that consider this site their own private domain
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-09-30 04:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cut this -2 and paste it to your scrotum, clown.
Submitted by Tony_the_Tiger_is_a_Pedophile (user info) at 2006-09-30 03:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
absloutely true huh?
yeah, right. ive read that story in about 6 different urban legend/strange story books, and it was people from wisconsin, i n fact they were never from the same place twice.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-09-29 22:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-09-29 14:32:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was funny. That's all that matters.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thanks Spook.
There seems to be quite a few bitter people on this site, which is cool by me, but I think it's a little over the top to find one that says career and posting on Ubersite in the same sentence.
Maybe not.
Semper Fi
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-29 22:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I apologize, but my conscience won't allow a positive rating.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:08:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by eatyourvitamins (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:55:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
This was old before there was internet.
Submitted by eatyourvitamins (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was old before there was internet.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-09-29 15:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Awesome! My brother told me about this , what, 10 years ago?
Urban legends are not for the posting. What's next? Babysitter tripping on acid cooks baby?
Submitted by Uberjunkie (user info) at 2006-09-29 15:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.snopes.com/critters/cruelty/dynamite.asp
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-09-29 14:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:46:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
So I've looked at your post history on here, and seems all you do is find something online you think to be funny, put it on here, and wait for us to stand in line to thank you for it.
Your uber career has sucked thus far.
I'm changing my rating.
-2
dick
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Because your illustrious "uber career" has earned you jack shit except another way to inflate the blow up doll that is your internet ego. Fucking pathetic.
I thought it was funny. That's all that matters.
Submitted by VileSin (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Old, retarded, rehashed, and more than likely not true in the first place.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This post makes me think of this post -> http://www.ubersite.com/m/92895
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where's the "funny" part?
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Hilarious!!!!!
What a bunch or retards though, seriously.
Submitted by Saucier86 (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:47:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great... pure genius...
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is extremely old.
I think I posted it before in one of my webfound stuffs.
Its been around years, but in the old version they were drunk, and the dog got blown up too.
I mean really, if the dog didn't drop the dynamite when shot its hardly oging to drop it when by pure fluke its tail hits the 'red hot' exhaust.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So I've looked at your post history on here, and seems all you do is find something online you think to be funny, put it on here, and wait for us to stand in line to thank you for it.
Your uber career has sucked thus far.
I'm changing my rating.
-2
dick
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
that's about right
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-29 13:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The only reason stuff like this doesn't happen in the South is because it doesn't get cold enough down here for the lakes to freeze over.