Lessons in real life Zombies- With Professor Awesome Face (988 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: professor
Rating: 1.73 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by awesomeface (View user info) at 2006-09-29 16:30:42 EDT
Ever sine George A Romero's film Night of the Living Dead hit theatres in 1968, Zombies were forever changed in the world of film and pulp novels. Since then Zombies have expanded beyond movies and books and finally landed in video games and comics.
Zombies have been generalized as creatures that are often stupid, slow moving, and hungry creatures that will own your ass in a fist fight. In the several different universes of zombies certain things became very apparent.
-Zombies are infected by a virus
-Destroy the head or damage the spinal chord to stop them
-Zombies remember nothing of their former life
-A bite is a death sentence, the single bite is enough to infect a person
-Zombies (in most cases) are unable to think
-Zombie chicks are easy
-It is not possible to rape a zombie because they neither reject or accept, it's apathetical rape
-The Dawn of the Dead remake is probably the hardest zombie movie to have survived in due to the zombies being olympic sprinters
-Ving Rhames is a bad nigga
But for years the indigenous people that reside near Haiti have had a large fear of zombies. They believe that zombification is due to evil spirits taking over the bodies of their dead loved ones.
They believe in zombification is due to some spottings that took place in the last century. In 1936 a half naked woman was found wandering close to a roadway in Haiti's Artibonite Valley. The woman was detained and she was indentified by her father and brother as Felicia Felix-Mentor. The only problem with that is Felicia was pronounced dead from a very sudden fever in 1907. While at the hospital in Gonaives, Felicia was photographed by Zora Neale Hurston, a western ethnographer. She studied Felicia at the hospital and later recorded.
"The sight was dreadful. That blank face with the dead eyes. The eyelids were white all around the eyes as if they had been burned with acid. There was nothing you could say to her or get from her except by looking at her, and the sight of this wreckage was too much to endure for long."
Another sighting was in 1980 when a police officer saw a female ambling mindlessly through a village under his supervision, and recognized her as Natagette Joseph, a woman he had pronounced dead in 1966, when she was 46 years old. Apparently police officers can pronounce people dead in Haiti.
Although the most famous siting (actually received some media attention) was Clairvius the Zombie. In 1980 Angelina Narcisse was shopping in the market place in l'Estere, her home town. During her shopping errand a voice whispered into her ear. The voice whispered the nickname of her long dead brother Clairvius Narcisse who had died on May 2nd, 1962 at the Albert Schweitzer Hospital in the Artibonite Valley (near the 1936 siting).
Angelina beared in mind that only she and her immediate family knew her dead brother's nickname, so she was very startled to hear it. When she turned around she saw her brother standing right before her. Clairvius was supposedly identified by 200 of l'Estere's residents. What was different about this siting was this man was able to readlily answer detailed questions about his boyhood which would have stumped anybody but the real Clairvius.
This story attracted BBC media from Britian and they soon after made a film about it.
This somewhat shaky story goes on the platform that Clairvius fathered many illegitimate children but refused to support them and also had a violent argument with his brother over a land dispute. After the argument his angry brother hired a bokor to zombify Clairvius. This bokor supposedly injected him with a poison that induced fever like symptoms followed by a death-like trance in which he was fully concious and fully paralysed. Two different doctors pronounced him dead so he was buried supposedly alive.
The bokor was said to have dug him up and gave him a second drug that made him sluggishly mobile, but prevented any type of clear decisive thought. Clairvius said he remembered being beaten and taken somehwere north of Haiti to work as a slave for over two years with others injected by the bokor. One day one of the "zombies" apparently gained enough conciousness to attack and kill the bokor. With the bokor gone the "zombies" were no longer injected with the drugs and they slowly regained their thought process.
For years Clairvius roamed from region to region slowly regaining memory and thought. After hearing his brother died he returned to l'Estere where he had his encounter with his sister.
Wade Davis, an American Biologist working at the Harvard Botanical Museum, was curious about this "Clarvius the Zombie". Davis visited Haiti to try and receive samples of the paralysis inducing toxins. He noted that they contained tetrodotoxin, a nerve poision that induced paralysis. It also contained an anaesthetic and a hallucinogen from a poisonous cane called Bufo Marinus. Davis wrote a book of his findings called "The Serpent and the Rainbow".
The mind controlling drug however featured a substance called Datura Stramonium.
Davis noted that if the victims were buried, they would not receive oxygen for a long period of time and therefore receive oxygen starvation which can cause brain damage. Davis noted that the reason why Clairvius may have been able to speak and recount other things in his life may have been due to him being dug up earlier than others hence suffereing less brian damage.
I found all of this to be very far fetched but very interesting. These stories and accounts could have easily been made up but it is fun to imagine.
All of this information was stolen from Karl P. N. Shuker. That's about as deep I will ever go into siting a source.
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This is the supposed photograph of Felicia Felix-Menton taken by Zora Neale Hurston in 1937
User Reviews
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-04 15:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was great, but you are gay.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-03 13:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good show, private.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-10-01 13:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you professor, now fack off!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:22:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love zombie shit, but I want to point something out.
When you say that zombies remember nothing of their past life, but cite Romero movies, you may not be entirely accurate. Romero's Dawn of the Dead depicted zombies that went to a shopping mall because they remembered doing so in a past life and did so in death out of some sort of primal instinct. In fact, that was deliberate in the script writing process as a commentary about consumerism.
Day of the Dead depicted a zombie named Bub who remembered how to shave, use a telephone and even saluted someone in a military uniform. Bub was proof that zombies could be trained not to hurt humans if rewarded for good behavior. Bub also picked up a pistol and shot someone which wa fucking rad. Land of the Dead depicted zombies that returned to their homes and tried to do their former jobs, and who were sophisticated enough (for zombies) to make it into a well-protected city.
Zombies are the shit
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That's why I said zombies are unable to think (in most cases)
Land of the dead was pretty good though.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love zombie shit, but I want to point something out.
When you say that zombies remember nothing of their past life, but cite Romero movies, you may not be entirely accurate. Romero's Dawn of the Dead depicted zombies that went to a shopping mall because they remembered doing so in a past life and did so in death out of some sort of primal instinct. In fact, that was deliberate in the script writing process as a commentary about consumerism.
Day of the Dead depicted a zombie named Bub who remembered how to shave, use a telephone and even saluted someone in a military uniform. Bub was proof that zombies could be trained not to hurt humans if rewarded for good behavior. Bub also picked up a pistol and shot someone which wa fucking rad. Land of the Dead depicted zombies that returned to their homes and tried to do their former jobs, and who were sophisticated enough (for zombies) to make it into a well-protected city.
Zombies are the shit
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neat
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-30 01:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually jack I did start working on a pandemic series, don't know if it is too late in the game though to pick up on one.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-30 01:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why thank you jackery.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-29 21:55:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ZOMBIEMANIA! http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/pandemic
There was a flick made in the 80s with Bill Pullman, about a guy investigating those drugs. The Serpent and the Something, I'm too lazy to look it up.
There's a scene where Pullman get his scrotum nailed to a chair.
When I saw it in the theater two girls sitting somewhere laughed their heads off. All I could imagine was the outcries of sexism and misogyny if some babe had gotten her tits nailed to a wall.
Great post, btw.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-29 21:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ruled.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:05:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
well, i have to give my favourite fanboy a +2!
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And I have to give the hottest bitch on uber a +2!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, i have to give my favourite fanboy a +2!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:55:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:32:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I borred vols. 1-4 of "The Walking Dead" from my friend.
Good stuff.
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Fucking A. http://www.ubersite.com/m/93676 Check out My bookshelf under my poster at the bottom.
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hahah nice
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:32:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I borred vols. 1-4 of "The Walking Dead" from my friend.
Good stuff.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fucking A. http://www.ubersite.com/m/93676 Check out My bookshelf under my poster at the bottom.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
read filename
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I borred vols. 1-4 of "The Walking Dead" from my friend.
Good stuff.
Submitted by Felony (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Zombies
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Get the hell off my property, you brain-eatin' zombie bastards!"
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-09-29 16:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can also accomplish the same thing more or less with a lobotomy.
Next you ought to do a post about the real life basis of the vampire legends.
I just love stuff like this.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-29 16:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome.
Submitted by rillins (user info) at 2006-09-29 16:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MMMM BRAINS!