Your Mother Sucks Cocks in Hell (2183 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Inspired
Rating: 1.81 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2006-09-29 17:27:33 EDT
It's been a while, hasn't it, dad?
Over thirty-five years, I guess.
More than a quarter century has passed since you last saw me, a scared-shitless little kid wiping blood out of his eyes and watching you get cuffed and tossed in the back of a patrol car.
No, I won't put the gun away.
I'm here about my mother, and what you did to her.
What did you say? My mother sucks cocks in hell?
Yeah, she probably does.
That doesn't excuse what you did to her.
I was nine years old then. I don't remember much. I've had doctors tell me that the trauma caused my mind to wipe itself clean. All I remember of that night is a few scattered images and sounds. I remember you calling my mother a cunt and a whore. I remember her calling you a bastard and begging you to go away. I remember her simply screaming, hollow shrieks that filled the kitchen where you had us cornered.
That's about all I remember. I felt like mom and I were trapped, there was a bang, I tasted blood, and then you were being taken away and a cop sat with me in my room, down the hall from the mess in the kitchen. The cop was kind, but he was ugly. I remember that long face and that crooked jaw, the thick eyebrows and the yellow-orange fingers on his right hand.
Dad, don't move. Just stay in your chair or I'll shoot you. You don't think I have the balls? Think again, old man. I am your son.
That's right. Just sit there and shut up and listen.
Soon enough a woman took me away. She was nice. She helped me grab a few toys and clothes. She took me to a place where a lot of other boys were staying. In a week I was in a foster home. It was a nice home in the Valley, a million miles from that hellhole in Inglewood. I was lucky. The people who took me in adopted me, and I grew up as their son, not yours.
I went to school and became a teacher. The pay sucked, and I worked in some depressing neighborhoods, but there are one or two kids who were worth the grief.
You have to piss? No surprise, seeing all the empty beers cans scattered around. I'll tell you what. Why don't you just sit there and piss in your pants, just like I would sometimes piss in my bed at night because I was too scared to leave my room, too scared of you when you were screaming at mom.
Like I was saying, a few kids made it through school okay, and later they actually thanked me for caring about them. Jesus. Those were the best moments of my life. Some of them have kids and grandkids now. One or two send me a card every Christmas. I feel fatherly pride in them.
Hey, what am I talking about? You wouldn't understand something like that, right?
I never really gave much thought to you or mom through all those years. Only in the last few months have I started to wonder what really happened that night.
I took a few tutoring jobs at night and hired a detective with the extra cash. The first day on the job he called and told me that you had been paroled after eight years. You killed mom and you got eight years.
What a fucking system.
He told me that you were a drunk, a broken down old man washing dishes for minimum wage.
The detective also helped me track down the cop who was there that night, so long ago. I went to see him. He was very old, and he was dying a slow death from emphysema thanks to the cigarettes that stained his fingers yellow-orange.
He knew it all. He had canvassed the neighbors, dad, and they told him everything they heard through the paper-thin walls.
Mom really was a whore. I know that now. She was blowing guys all over the neighborhood. She was doing it for me. You were spending money then, but you weren't bringing in a dime. I don't have any pictures of mom, but the cop said she was a real beauty, despite looking a bit worn down by life. The cop also said the neighbors described mom as pretty, but dumb.
I'm squeezing the trigger? I guess I am. I'll try to relax a little. And dad, stop looking at the door. You and I both know that no one is coming to help you. Not in this roach-infested dive. Not after the life you have lived.
So there was mom, cute, uneducated, and getting money the only way she could. The money she needed to feed me and buy me clothes.
And one night, you finally snapped, huh dad?
The detective did some digging into your trial. You said that it was a crime of passion. You said you couldn't stand the thought of other men with your woman and that is why you shot her. The jury bought it then, and the parole board bought it later.
Now I know the truth, dad.
You lost it that night. The neighbors were used to you screaming at mom and slapping her around, but they called the cops this time because now you were threatening me, weren't you? You were threatening to kill me, because you could let mom's behavior slide, but when you got it into your head that I was not your son, that I was a bastard, you decided to shoot me.
And mom, stupid, pretty mom who would do anything for me, who would even sucks cocks for me, stepped between me and you. And you shot her dead. And I wiped her blood out of my eyes.
So yeah, mom probably does suck cocks in hell. And I love her for it.
What's that? You still deny that I'm your son? Well, there's one way to prove it. You were willing to kill me and actually tried, until mom got in the way.
Now let's see if I really am your son.
Let's see if I can kill you.
--
Inspired by...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-29 15:40:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
or perhaps "Your Mother Sucks Cocks in Hell."
Seems a bit restrictive though...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93383#2164195
User Reviews
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-10-05 00:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude--great stuff. I loved it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-02 00:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93812#2165915
a message for you you fucking pig
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-10-01 15:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice, way to get things started...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-10-01 13:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-01 13:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my favorites of yours.
I won't be arrogant enough to say one of your best based on my opinion.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2006-09-30 20:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ding.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lissen up, Lezchewme, if they're old enough to walk to the store, they're old enough to get bred.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
younger as in underage? if not, that is not fucking possible!!
smartfuck
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear lechuza,
MANY generations of humping younger women. Stop fucking the 75 year-old women NOW.
Fucktard.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:15:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-30 09:44:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
marvellous
if 20 year olds can have grandkids
**************
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:03:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Over thirty-five years, I guess."
"I was nine years old then. I don't remember much"
"Some of them have kids and grandkids now"
time line.
still, I won't be the arse to ruin this for you
*********************
The guy is 44 years old. Say he was teaching at 22, and some of his students were 15. That means that as he is now 44, those kids would be 37. I was a grandfather at the ripe old age of 36, so the story holds water.
Please enroll in mathematics now...
-----
so, 2 generations of getting broads preggers at age 16-18?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-30 09:44:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
marvellous
if 20 year olds can have grandkids
**************
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:03:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Over thirty-five years, I guess."
"I was nine years old then. I don't remember much"
"Some of them have kids and grandkids now"
time line.
still, I won't be the arse to ruin this for you
*********************
The guy is 44 years old. Say he was teaching at 22, and some of his students were 15. That means that as he is now 44, those kids would be 37. I was a grandfather at the ripe old age of 36, so the story holds water.
Please enroll in mathematics now...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-30 09:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
marvellous
if 20 year olds can have grandkids
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:05:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you Jack. retal -2. Go suck on an American.
----------------
typical.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Over thirty-five years, I guess."
"I was nine years old then. I don't remember much"
"Some of them have kids and grandkids now"
time line.
still, I won't be the arse to ruin this for you
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-30 01:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so much better than Squinty McSnarkerson's because it is all +2's. Only an arse would ruin it with a zero. I give him about 5 minutes.
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2006-09-29 23:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SATAN - GUIDE MY COCK!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-29 21:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-29 21:09:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack McCallum is teh Devil.
I've been saying this all week...
GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN!!!
____________
Beelzebub McCallum. Film at 11:00. . . .
*Pssssttttt. Kaos. If he's behind you, your asshole is fair game***
Just sayin'. . . .
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-29 21:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I shall play along shortly...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-29 21:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack McCallum is teh Devil.
I've been saying this all week...
GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN!!!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-29 20:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-09-29 20:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-29 20:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:17:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
but damn if it didn't make me feel like perpetrating some righteous violence.
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stream of consciousness is teh auto +2.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
winner.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Your mother sews socks that smell."
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very powerful stuff. Don't mind Icarus, he seems to be having aggression issues today.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Titles can't be in all caps.
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There is a "Hook me Up" button next to the "Preview" button ... and a Red message pops up not to yell, lol. But that's it. And in My Uber it says that I have 0 posts.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:56:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
So when you say hit the "Submit" button, you mean "Hook me Up" button? there is no "Submit" button ... and I did hit the "Hook me up" button, but that doesnt seem to work.
--
What the--
Are you getting ANY messages at all, or nothing at all?
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So when you say hit the "Submit" button, you mean "Hook me Up" button? there is no "Submit" button ... and I did hit the "Hook me up" button, but that doesnt seem to work.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vintage
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMMANDS YOU
TABARNAK!!!!!!!!
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Write things and stuff in the fat window."
Hahahaha
I love your writing
With a fiery passion
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't read the post, but i've been saying the title all day for the last week or so.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's all this 'You're the only one' bullshit?
V
V
V
V
V
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:17:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was very decent. I do have a question though ... How do I post on this site? Tried and failed. Am I just an Idiot?
--
?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Hit the SUBMIT tab in the upper right.
Write a title in the skinny window.
Write things and stuff in the fat window.
Hit preview to preview or submit to submit.
When you hit submit you will suddenly be on your knees with a ball gag in your mouth. Bart will be standing over you, naked and visibly aroused. If you ask him with the right amount of cringing humility, he will post your submission on Uber.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:17:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, I love this post. I'm not going to say it's your best writing, but damn if it didn't make me feel like perpetrating some righteous violence.
--
And it only took 30 minutes, including rewrites.
I got the Friday happies, I guess.
Also, the nature of the story demanded brevity. And of course, I am one of the Masters of Brevity.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, I love this post. I'm not going to say it's your best writing, but damn if it didn't make me feel like perpetrating some righteous violence.
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:17:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was very decent. I do have a question though ... How do I post on this site? Tried and failed. Am I just an Idiot?
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty good there my friend.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Read every word.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:43:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:39:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Does this mean the OT Jack McCallum is back and that hippy bullshit you pulled on retro's post was all a ruse?
--
Hippie bulshit?
I beg to differ.
This story is about the sweet and undying love of a son for his mother, accepting all of her sins, even the gobbling of unwashed meat in dark alleys. It is a story of forgiveness and righteous wrath, following the path laid out by the Lord God. Amen.
------
I'm here to see SMITING, my friend. Smiting, wrath, and possibly the gnashing of teeth. Turning people into pillars of salt and/or exposing them to soulsucking light (DON'T LOOK INTO THE LIGHT, MARRIANNE!) is also acceptable. Undying love however... psshh, save that for your love-ins in Berkley.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:38:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Liked it!
I also like "Your mother sucks cocks in hell" ala Exorcist.
Something about watching a possessed adolescent girl growling that at a priest, just does it for me.
--
My favorite bit in the whole flick is when she looks at the astronaut and says, "You're going to die up there."
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BLAMMO
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:39:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Does this mean the OT Jack McCallum is back and that hippy bullshit you pulled on retro's post was all a ruse?
--
Hippie bulshit?
I beg to differ.
This story is about the sweet and undying love of a son for his mother, accepting all of her sins, even the gobbling of unwashed meat in dark alleys. It is a story of forgiveness and righteous wrath, following the path laid out by the Lord God. Amen.
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, nice writing
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Does this mean the OT Jack McCallum is back and that hippy bullshit you pulled on retro's post was all a ruse?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Liked it!
I also like "Your mother sucks cocks in hell" ala Exorcist.
Something about watching a possessed adolescent girl growling that at a priest, just does it for me.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-09-29 17:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no she doesn't :(