Nobody told me there'd be days like these (601 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 2 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shifty (View user info) at 2006-09-29 17:53:00 EDT
I don't know what I'm trying, or hoping, to say.
My Friends daughter was killed 5 days ago.
She was 7.
As crazy as it sounds, I've never really had to deal with death in a personal way.
I'm 35 and until last Sunday, no-one I knew had died.
I should clarify that.....No-one had died that I wasn't sort of expecting. If you know what I mean.
Elderly distant relatives? Yeah, sure. Hasn't everyone?
But no-one that wasn't supposed to die. And that's the rub of it I guess.
I feel........Angry. And Lost. and Fucking Helpless, that there's nothing I can do apart from be there if they need anything. Even if it's a voice on the phone at 3am.
And I know that I feel nothing to how her parents feel, and her sister, and step brother.
It almost like a shadow I can't quite see.
I don't know quite how or why or anything. My friend can't bring herself to speak to me yet, and I understand. I don't know how she manages ANYTHING right now.
I have some pictures taken last year of my kids and theirs playing and I'm sure I never sent them all to her. I mean, there's always tomorrow, right? What's going to change in a day?
Only everything. Forever. In a heatbeat, someone's gone.
The funeral was today.
I didn't go.
Today was for their family, not us.
I'll ask where the grave is sometime soon and go to visit it.
It rained today too. I offered a silent request, to let it stop raining for the funeral.
It did. To the minute.
Coincidence? Maybe. You all have your own opinions on what happens after.
I like to think someone was listening. No One in particular, just someone.
I've talked to my other half about this. I have a problem with expressing how I feel and it screws me up sometimes. (Yeah, I'm male. Good guess).
I told my daughter yesterday. She asked a few questions about what happened. She seemed to take it well. Better than me for sure.
Lennon sure had it nailed when he wrote "Nobody told me there'd be days like these"
See you some other time Jade.
User Reviews
Submitted by LT (user info) at 2006-09-30 04:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my mum dying. I'm in the UAE, 8 hours flight from home, where my family and friends are. Yesterday was shit. 5 years ago yesterday was shit.
The thing I realised last night though, as I used my company phone to call my brothers at home (am waiting for them to comment...) is that, almost unfortunately, no matter how shitty things seem at the time, you get over it. Otherwise you get swallowed up in your grief, and no-one (especially those who don't have the privilege of living any more) wants people to stop living.
Shock deaths are much more shaking. They make everything seem wrong and unjust. When my best friend was hit by a train last December, I lost all faith in the higher power etc. I had never been a true religious type, but I always believed that there was something else. It was only a few days ago that I forgave God (or whoever) for letting my friend die - the reason behind my anger was that his mum and dad are the nicest people in the world, his mum went to church regularly, and I could not see how their pain could ever be justified. But eventually (again with the cliches) time does heal things, and you slowly get better.
What I would suggest to you is, you've got to be there for Jade's family, because right now they need people and support more than anyone else, especially you. I struggle to talk about my feelings as well, but in a strange way my friend dying forced me to open up, and as such I now have a much closer knot of friends. I'm still angry, and upset, but come 15th December I'll be flying home, to spend time with his family, because I promised them him and myself that I would help them in anyway I could. Try and do the same, they need it.
Sorry for emo barrage, but I needed to talk to no-one.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-30 04:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*sits and stares*
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-30 03:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Such a downer. I'm sorry. Really all you can do is be there for your friends and have faith that she is in a better place now. Faith will get you through it.
All I have to say, and this comes from my own personal dealings with death, keep your eyes, heart and senses open. She'll contact you to let you know she's ok. She will. There are signs everywhere and everyday. Look for them.
Chin up!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-09-30 01:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"As crazy as it sounds, I've never really had to deal with death in a personal way.
I'm 35 and until last Sunday, no-one I knew had died."
I wish I could say this.
So very sorry for your loss. So very happy that I can still ruffle my boys hair and watch my daughter perform in plays.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-29 22:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by serina (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
grief is a terrible and tragic thing and expressing condolence or acceptance is often hard at the best of times your friend feels your love and knows your confusion at how to deal with situation i am an expert on grief and i can tell you that sometimes it is what you don't say that helps the most feel better and know that your heartfelt wishes are heard
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:53:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'll ask where the grave is sometime soon and go to visit it."
You're going to dig up the body and fuck her, aren't you you sick fuck!
~~~
Darko! *slaps wrist*
I'm sorry to hear that.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's tragic.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-09-29 19:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's awful; sorry to hear it. It breaks your heart when children are taken off this Earth.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'll ask where the grave is sometime soon and go to visit it."
You're going to dig up the body and fuck her, aren't you you sick fuck!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-09-29 18:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry for you loss, it sucks when children die.