What happend? (655 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.06 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Life101 (View user info) at 2006-09-30 01:58:24 EDT
I always end up driving alone in my car at night. Even with the best intentions of coming home with some one else never happens. Maybe that's just who I am and what I do. I live in a crappy town with crappy schools with crappy people with crappy jobs. I always end up driving into the "good" side of town even though the bad sad isn't much worse. Driving alone with yourself is the worst thing you can do at night. Everything bad that ever happened to you creeps slowly back into your thoughts. And you being you can't escape yourself. It's true when they say you are your own worst enemy. I drive under the cover of night; the sky is clear and lit by a crescent mood even though usually around this time of year its raining while clouds blanket the sky. I accept that Mother Nature isn't ready for a crappy winter just yet. The drive isn't to long alone but the lonely ness makes it devastating and I begin to wonder about my meek average life as it is.
My thoughts rush as I remember my youth. Good as it was nothing ever happened. I had a good childhood with friends activities loving family ect. Mistake one I was taught to think instead of blindly except the system which I grew to hate so much made me hate it. I was what one would call "popular" even though the term is bullshit as it stands. Yes life was fine until things started to grow up. Even through most of junior high I had a rather good life. That is when things slowly began to separate. You started to know who was going to get pregnant who would need re had for drugs and alcholol and what clichés you would eventually become part of.
I was what society calls "well rounded" I was an athlete and good student I participated in other clubs and activates. I was the model student who people knew very well. I began to establish deeper friendships, none of which have satisfied me completely. And then the downward and upward spiral began. Roller coasters aren't even comparable to what my emotions drug me through. The simple laugh from a friend would make life worth living while one glance at another cliché would destroy any hope at life at all. I hid it very well or well no one cared enough to notice. I was still the ideal student but the one who wasn't fitting in to any one group. I was becoming even more than now a loner. People say suicide is horrible its not sitting night after night with the knife to your wrist is worse. From my childhood I had been taught to care for others and put my self last and this is what I did. I blame everything on my childhood now a day.
But then came high school. The best years of my life became the worst. The world was set and locked in a grip I couldn't break. As I attended my shitty education on the shitty school that was provided for me I became a zombie. I would study practice study and play. I found little time for myself and all I enjoyed was the late night TV series of others life's to make me happy. I would sit in my room and play make believe with the world that sat outside my wooden door.
Those days soon passed as I no longer had the time to dream. I no dreamt in class and on the field instead of in my dreams. Dreams are impossible to have once you stop sleeping. The sudden ups and downs subsided to a roller coaster which spent most of its time crashing to earth at 100 miles and hour.
And then during the simple thing that brought only happiness to me destroyed my life. Any athlete with a injury will tell you no different. It was not taken well. I still stood at the games watching the now "preps" cheer on the team at games. Why none of them will amount to almost nothing I hoped I would amount to something. The same two crappy schools that hated each other where exactly the same in every aspect. But what different worlds all because one lied on that other side of the tracks. And that is why my drives always ended up being a long lonely one.
The country is so pretty when its lit by the moon. As a dreamer a second seems like the world and the minutes tick by faster than you could ever believe. The subtle farm houses where dark for no one of the simple life would be at the receiving end of life. And the worst part knows that soon that plant will come into the city creating more middle class jobs. The middle class carry's the burdens of the world and I am nothing more than poor middle class. Knowing some day all the farm land in the world will be covered by something other than the sweet smell of corn. Slowly you see the lights of the other side of town. Now entering A Lie it will read for everyone is a fake and nothing is real. Your car simply bumps over the railroad tracks and you forget anything ever happened. Soon youll pull into your suburb drive way and forget anything ever happened in your life. The kids will hug you and you will never forgive yourself for what you will put them through. You lay in bed and dream but dreaming is long lost for sleep hasn't happened in years you quietly lay awake and think of lonely car ride home.
User Reviews
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SoftDrink (user info) at 2006-10-02 00:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-02 00:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not going to minus this because the content is strong.
Your writing skills though.........ugh.
It was hard to get through the first paragraph and a continuing struggle to get through the entire piece. Write more, practice, and pay attention to your punctuation and grammar. Many mistakes here that broke the flow and made it incredibly hard to read.
Don't listen to me though, I know nothing.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-10-01 23:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:59:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
This reminded me of what a chimpanzee would write if he could type.
A bunch of shit.
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Took you all weekend to think of that "cool" comment?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This reminded me of what a chimpanzee would write if he could type.
A bunch of shit.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-10-01 17:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 content -1 for mistakes.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-10-01 17:02:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This reminded me of that song Mad World from Donnie Darko.
Submitted by DuiTicket (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think thats how most people lives are....thats why they are here
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Definately not +2 material. Makes a good point but please look up the meanings of:
Spell check
Sentence Fragment
Proof Reading
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Guess what? You're not the only one who's ever felt this way, and you certainly won't be the last.
Get over it.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-30 07:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"" I would sit in my room and play make believe with the world that sat outside my wooden door. ""
This line sealed it for me.
I'm almost 30 years old and I still do this every day...
Submitted by QuietObservation (user info) at 2006-09-30 05:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so true, man.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-30 03:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You said crappy 6 times. Yeeep.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
life....................................
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you like, hidden101's cousin?