OathMeal and Jeanneee Get Carnal (3353 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.19 on 133 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by OathMeal, bitches (View user info) at 2006-09-30 10:25:25 EDT
"Fuck, it took you long enough," she said to me as I approached the gate to her place, "be sure to shut it behind you."
I acknowledged my understanding and hung up the phone. The time was 9:24pm; we had agreed to meet at nine sharp, but I had a crack deal I had to go 'do'. She understood. Emily's cool like that.
Freshly geeked up on some good rock, I made my way down her driveway and parked just outside the front door to one of the many buildings that graced her property.
"Holy shit, you live in a barn!" I exclaimed.
"No you ass. I don't live in a barn ... I live on a FARM. We HAVE a barn." She clarified.
"Oh. Whatever. Same shit. So, I'm Bret. It's great to finally meet you!"
Emily's nose crinkled a bit before she said, "Um ... you kind of smell bad. Did you slip a fall into a pile of emu feces or something on your way here 'cuz ..."
"Heh, oh yea. About that - long story. Nevermind. Let's just go inside, shall we?"
I let her lead the way. I hadn't been on a farm in years, and who knew what kind of animal would come darting out the door upon our entry. Once Emily was square in front of me, I took a nice, hard look at her ass and then played golf for a while.
No, just kidding. I had a mission to accomplish. I was here for a reason.
I had to shake my head once or twice to convince myself that I wasn't on 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous'. This place was HUGE! Lofts, gratuitous living space sprawling for yards and yards, large, glorious dogs lounging about everywhere, decorated with medals and lapels (I guess they love their dogs, whaddyagonnado) - THIS was the good life.
I made my way to the kitchen behind her and adjusted my crotch en route. My chubby was impeding my movement.
"Drink?" she asked, casually.
"Nah. Brought my own. Thanks, though." I respsonded, taking out of it's plastic keep the 2 60-ounce Budweisers I had purchased. I bet you didn't know that they make 60 ounce bottles, did you? Well here in Georgia they do.
I fished for the knife sitting deep in my right jean pocket. I was wearing some whigger Tommy Hilfiger pants with approximately 44% more denim than is required for a good fit. This made it remarkably easy to conceal my 8' long diving knife.
I heard her popping the cork from a bottle of wine as I drew out my weapon. Now was my chance.
I came up behind her and threw my arm around her neck, flipping my blade from it's folded position with my other hadnd, all in one movement (I'm smooth like that). Emily didn't know what the fuck to think. For all shew knew, I was just an internet friend from Ubersite coming over to 'hang out'.
"ALRIGHT NOW YOU LISTEN HERE, BITCH. I'VE BEEN CHASTISED, INSULTED, CRITICISED, SPAT UPON AND GENERALLY *ABUSED* ON THAT GODDAMNED UBERSITE FOR SOME TIME NOW. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EXACT MY REVENGE BY PROVING TO THOSE IDIOTS THAT I'M COOL ENOUGH TO HANG OUT WITH AN ESTABLISHED USER LIKE YOU."
I felt her gulp very hard.
"Ok, Bret. Whatever you want. Just calm down, ok? Why do you take what George the Jewelry Salesman and Jonny San Diego say so seriously? They're just having fun." she attempted.
"FUCK THAT. LISTEN UP, SLORE. THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING DOWN," I said, making it apparent how livid I was with her statement, "WE'RE TAKING A PICTURE, RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE GOING TO SMILE, I'M GOING TO SMILE, AND THEN I'M GOING TO POST THIS AND PEOPLE WILL FINALLY ACCEPT ME FOR THE COOL MO'FUCKA I TRULY AM."
"THERE WON'T BE ANY MORE "OH, WHINEY LITTLE BITCH OATHMEAL" OR "GINGER FAGGOT CAN'T GET LAID". NO. THIS ALL ENDS TONIGHT." I finished.
I retrieved my cell phone from my jacket as I kept Emily restrained. After flipping it open, I ensured that the tears being sent down Emily's face were wiped clear and that the area was devoid of any telltale signs of fabrication.
"Alright. Let's do this." I said, this time a bit more calmly.
As instructed, Emily beamed a smile into the tiny, glass lens -
*click*
User Reviews
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-16 19:31:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-16 19:22:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
--------
SEE what you've done Crystle?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-16 19:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by linustika (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What is funny is that most of the people that post on uber, or even just choose to rate other people's shit seem to care what anyone else has to say. I did find this amusing, however the comments made it even better. And to whomever said Pricess Diaries (I don't care enough to go back and check) it is Princess Bride, but nice try.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-10-04 15:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY! YAY! YAY! *cartwheels*
I now dub you bremily 8> jade
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-10-04 14:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it's interesting when people start thinking that using first names on uber is an insult.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-03 18:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you!! You write amusing and entertaining stories. (If its got your name on it I read it)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-03 18:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:26:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
Johnny, let me make something abundantly clear:
I could write the most insightful, intelligent, humorous or paradigm-shifting post ever created and it would STILL get -2kakked to holy hell. Not because I'm an abhorrent writer, no.
... it'd be because I'm not LIKED.
------
and WHY IS THAT, BRET?
Perhaps it is because you're a fuckin crybaby all time, and -2spam people with your alters?
(Why yes, Jonny, I do believe it is.)
The only person who can change the way you are perceived around here is YOU.
I've given you sound advice since Day One, and you've chosen to ignore it. I don't care if you don't like the tone, that's the way it goes around here, so either quit being a pussy, or turn off the computer.
So, now that I've satisfied my imperatives, here's a hearty 'fuck you'.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-10-02 23:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:26:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
Johnny, let me make something abundantly clear:
I could write the most insightful, intelligent, humorous or paradigm-shifting post ever created and it would STILL get -2kakked to holy hell. Not because I'm an abhorrent writer, no.
... it'd be because I'm not LIKED.
The bed that I've shat in is a bed that was made of shit to begin with. While I appreciate your feigned candor here, it's just as insincere and base as everything else you've ever offered, either as criticism or insult.
My advice to you, Jonny (since we're being so obviously open with the heartfelt advice all of a sudden) is to stop thinking that any suggestions you make about how I should behave here will be seriously considered.
If you do that, Jonny ... if you do THAT, I promise I would respect what you have to say.
Really.
--
do it.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-10-02 23:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
your a cunt.
method couldnt have said it better.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:27:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
You're Urbane with a penis.
i didnt even do anything to set you off this time, so do you get off to thinking your better than me because you lowered my average rating by about .3 points now?
does it make your e-peen hard and stiff?it does?
go stick it in a blender you useless hunk of meat.
Submitted by U927 (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Internet.
Serious business.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bret actually wrote something entertaining for a change, so I should clearly +2 this post.
But, he STILL is whining, in an UN-humorous way, so I should clearly -2 this post.
However, he did inspire some really great comments, so I should clearly +2 this post.
ALTHOUGH, he is using his alters to spam other people with -2s, and rate his own posts with +2s, so I should clearly -2 this post.
And, you learned that man is mortal, so you would keep the poison as far away as possible from you, so I should clearly +2 this post. Err wait, what?
--------------------------------------------------------
Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as you wiisssshhhhhhh
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-02 15:55:14 (#)
Ranking: -1
Well, I'm conflicted...
Bret actually wrote something entertaining for a change, so I should clearly +2 this post.
But, he STILL is whining, in an UN-humorous way, so I should clearly -2 this post.
However, he did inspire some really great comments, so I should clearly +2 this post.
ALTHOUGH, he is using his alters to spam other people with -2s, and rate his own posts with +2s, so I should clearly -2 this post.
And, you learned that man is mortal, so you would keep the poison as far away as possible from you, so I should clearly +2 this post. Err wait, what?
So I think I'll just -1 this...as many others have already pointed out, you've shit in your own bed Bret, now you get to lie in it.
---
i dont know whats going on right now jonnyx, but if that reply is a Princess Diary reference i WILL fuck the shit out of you. either that or just internet high-five you.
*raises hand
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's the real issue, Oath.
You say that even if you write an amazing post it'll get shitcanned, yet you have yet to prove you can even write anything that borders on very good, let alone amazing.
Even someone hated like me can get really good ratings for things (if you discount one fucker with 6 accounts like stok).
But you don't even try.
You never have.
And now you're just damn pathetic, using 3-04 accounts to post crap at the same time.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Johnny, let me make something abundantly clear:
I could write the most insightful, intelligent, humorous or paradigm-shifting post ever created and it would STILL get -2kakked to holy hell. Not because I'm an abhorrent writer, no.
... it'd be because I'm not LIKED.
The bed that I've shat in is a bed that was made of shit to begin with. While I appreciate your feigned candor here, it's just as insincere and base as everything else you've ever offered, either as criticism or insult.
My advice to you, Jonny (since we're being so obviously open with the heartfelt advice all of a sudden) is to stop thinking that any suggestions you make about how I should behave here will be seriously considered.
If you do that, Jonny ... if you do THAT, I promise I would respect what you have to say.
Really.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-10-02 16:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-02 15:55:14 (#)
Ranking: -1
Well, I'm conflicted...
Bret actually wrote something entertaining for a change, so I should clearly +2 this post.
But, he STILL is whining, in an UN-humorous way, so I should clearly -2 this post.
However, he did inspire some really great comments, so I should clearly +2 this post.
ALTHOUGH, he is using his alters to spam other people with -2s, and rate his own posts with +2s, so I should clearly -2 this post.
And, you learned that man is mortal, so you would keep the poison as far away as possible from you, so I should clearly +2 this post. Err wait, what?
So I think I'll just -1 this...as many others have already pointed out, you've shit in your own bed Bret, now you get to lie in it.
========================
This reminds me of Vizzini from "The Princess Bride" and makes me fucking laugh really hard.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-02 15:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Well, I'm conflicted...
Bret actually wrote something entertaining for a change, so I should clearly +2 this post.
But, he STILL is whining, in an UN-humorous way, so I should clearly -2 this post.
However, he did inspire some really great comments, so I should clearly +2 this post.
ALTHOUGH, he is using his alters to spam other people with -2s, and rate his own posts with +2s, so I should clearly -2 this post.
And, you learned that man is mortal, so you would keep the poison as far away as possible from you, so I should clearly +2 this post. Err wait, what?
So I think I'll just -1 this...as many others have already pointed out, you've shit in your own bed Bret, now you get to lie in it.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-02 14:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not a hateful person, Bret.
I've made many more friends in my life than enemies.
The difference is, with people I dislike, I tend to be more vocal about it.
Besides, you can't deny that you're an attention seeking, socially under-developed hanger-on.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-02 14:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:09:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Come now, apollo. After 2 years, have I not at least made the F List? """
it's all about who you associate with you see, you can't drag him up he can only drag you down.
:(
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-10-02 11:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was slightly amused by this.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-10-02 11:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 11:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, that's better.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-02 11:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're like a 20-something year old infant.
You need constant attention, you have limited vocabulary, you cry like a bitch constantly, and you're not funny, clever, witty or even remotely interesting.
You probably poop yourself twice daily, too.
DON'T CRUMPLE ME!
PS. Oh yeah, you look like a mongoloid, too.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-02 11:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:53:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
fannybaws? dickcheese?
You two are terrible. Really. You make the art of the insult look very bad.
=========================
Oh I'm sorry that fannybaws, an inventive insult to say the least (though admittedly lifted from a mint TV show), doesn't rate highly with you, who seem to be limited to calling people 'hateful faggots' and other such whiny, emo, tear filled insults.
Way to go.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-02 11:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Keep crying Bret, I thought that you had embarassed yourself enough, but there seems to be no end in sight to your faggotry. You can't even insult anyone properly.
Please keep it up, it's fucking AMUSING.
I can't wait to see what you're going to post today. It's about me, isn't it? Is this where you tell me "Don't flatter yourself, Georgio, I wouldn't bother posting about you" and then scratch the post you spent 6 hours on?
Ooooh I'm so excited!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:40:00 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:27:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
I like Jeanneee, but this dude is a total fruitcake.
=========
I don't know who you even are.
I'm sure it's tough keeping track of all those people who despise your worthless existence.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fannybaws? dickcheese?
You two are terrible. Really. You make the art of the insult look very bad.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:48:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
Isn't it time to have your diaper changed, dickcheese?
---------
Isn't it time to stop camping here you over-the-hill alchoholic?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So far as I can tell, you're a blindly hateful faggot of the likes of greening and meth-head. Now kindly go the fuck away and go down some Drano or something equally toxic.
=====================
Your insults really haven't improved much, have they, fannybaws?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Isn't it time to have your diaper changed, dickcheese?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:27:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
I like Jeanneee, but this dude is a total fruitcake.
=========
I don't know who you even are.
So far as I can tell, you're a blindly hateful faggot of the likes of greening and meth-head. Now kindly go the fuck away and go down some Drano or something equally toxic.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I like Jeanneee, but this dude is a total fruitcake.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-02 10:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come now, apollo. After 2 years, have I not at least made the F List?
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-10-02 09:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Uh oh, you're going to have to deal with two crying babies Jeaneee.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-02 09:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and THIS made me laugh like a marmot in heat:
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-01 18:11:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fat pig below.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-02 09:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best post EVAR!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-02 05:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was fucked up the other day and forgot to -2 this sorry load of shit.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-02 00:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:27:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:46:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well well well.
Look who figured out a nifty little way to get his account back.
Hello, folks! UOM is back, IN FUCKING STYLE.
---------
Hey nimrod. If I cared about keeping your account I would've have changed the email address. I'm assuming that you used the password retrieval. I'm amazed it took you this long.
So now that you have 4 or 5 accounts again, this place is quite obviously at your mercy. I tremble.
---
(Stagger_Lee = a stand up guy.)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-02 00:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
should 'Z list' ubercons be allowed on most heated?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah, I was just laughing.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I never used "Puddy"; but I could have sworn this was the first time I used that "camera lens" line on YOU, though.
Why is your face so blurry...were you shaking being in the same zip code as Kind Crybaby there?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shloongy how many times are you going to make the "wide angle lens" joke in regards to me? It was cute the first four or five times, but your Alzheimer's is really starting to show.
Move on to "pushing maximum density", or go back to calling me "Puddy". That was good times.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:46:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well well well.
Look who figured out a nifty little way to get his account back.
Hello, folks! UOM is back, IN FUCKING STYLE.
---------
Hey nimrod. If I cared about keeping your account I would've have changed the email address. I'm assuming that you used the password retrieval. I'm amazed it took you this long.
So now that you have 4 or 5 accounts again, this place is quite obviously at your mercy. I tremble.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet that camera lens was totally open on "widest angle".
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wicked burn, jgreening. Or was that supposed to be funny? I can never tell with you.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, it's even funnier coming from Jay, but WHAT THE FUCK DO I KNOW, IM AN INSECURE ASSHOLE
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:08:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-01 17:25:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-01 11:52:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, Bret is super hot.
-----
Actually, Emily is super pretty.
-----
Actually, both have low standards.
--------
I'll admit - I laughed like a bitch reading this.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, a low standards comment coming from jgreening?
POT: CRRSSSHHH, KETTLE COME IN PLEASE, THIS IS POT. NOT SURE IF YOU CAN SEE THIS FROM UP HERE, BUT YOU ARE BLACK, OVER.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-01 22:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-01 17:25:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-01 11:52:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, Bret is super hot.
-----
Actually, Emily is super pretty.
-----
Actually, both have low standards.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-01 21:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Good grief...no wonder Jeanneee's avoided Shlongy...it's "safer" to hang out with retards.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-01 19:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you could read you'd know I'm not overweight. You bitch so much about Method,
but you are 100 times worse. Way to be, hypocrite.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-01 18:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Two fat pigs below.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-01 18:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OUM, next time your momma calls you a piece of dog shit, believe it.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-01 18:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fat pig below.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-01 18:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for posting with both of your accounts, you fucking attention-whore.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-01 17:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-01 11:52:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, Bret is super hot.
-----
Actually, Emily is super pretty.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-01 11:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, Bret is super hot.
Also, this - "Here's a suggestion, get out and meet some real people, maybe then you won't have to resort to paper bags" - makes no sense. It's these "real people" that always go running for the bags, you know. The Internet, God bless it, allows me to find freaks who are turned on by my hideous appearance, thus obviating the need for the paper bags.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-10-01 08:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Amazing. Two ugly people who met on the internet decided to meet in real life. They fucked and now there will be another ugly moron ginger baby in the world. CONGRATULATIONS! You're both real winners. Here's a suggestion, get out and meet some real people, maybe then you won't have to resort to paper bags.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-10-01 07:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How about my Turingian learning array, Yourreddicklooksinflamed? I'm getting cranky emotions.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-01 06:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-30 21:12:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
Look, I'm sorry, but I really do think Brett should be spelt with two t's. It's starting to piss me off.
---
Danger_Ranger2000's built in spell checker is correct.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-30 22:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-30 21:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Look, I'm sorry, but I really do think Brett should be spelt with two t's. It's starting to piss me off.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-30 20:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I went to http://www.pulsehead.com/ so I could spam his accounts with -5s. He started the whole shit storm when he spammed my posts with all of his alters.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-30 20:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Method:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93798#2165057
Relax, honey. I'm perfectly ok with being "permanently associated" with Bret.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 20:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EL-OH-EL Bret! You're a winner! Things are gonna change, I can feel it! You got your old account back!
hahahahaahahaha, you are going to crash and fucking burn around here big time. Your own actions do more damage than anything I could ever say, Bret.
Jeannee, this fucking creepy psychotic asshole knows where you live now. Good luck, you poor thing. Shame that you weren't right about him, that he's a giant fucking pussy and he wouldn't have the balls to ask you to hang out. This fucking loser is the type of guy who will go to ubercons and try to beat up anyone and everyone that ever -2ed him. Aren't you glad you're permanently associated with him now?
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-30 19:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93535
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92585
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92564
I feel more sorry that you actually get off on this type of shit than anything.
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-30 19:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
To reiterate:
You gave your own post 10 +2's while using 3 alters.
Y HALO THAR DESPERATION
From: Seeking acceptance in North Atlanta,
Firecrotch
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-30 19:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK OFF YOU CUNT>
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-30 19:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Y HALO THAR MOST HEATED?
=o)
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-09-30 19:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yea -
~OathMeal Appropved Post~
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well well well.
Look who figured out a nifty little way to get his account back.
Hello, folks! UOM is back, IN FUCKING STYLE.
*ejaculates*
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hmm. I'm not sure how I feel about all of this, but I'm flaccid, and that's a bonus.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 18:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I twas talkin bout jeanneee.
Submitted by Nancypants (user info) at 2006-09-30 17:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To reiterate:
(V) is for (V)oron.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-30 17:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oathmeal you are creepy
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-30 17:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Set your face on fire.
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-30 17:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-28 23:31:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-08-24 01:04:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off jonnyx you fucking chime in
---------------------------
You just dug into Method's history and -2'd a post that was last reviewed a month ago... are you serious? Psychopath?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-09-30 17:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look at you two crazy interweb luv-birds...
>sniff<
its (creepy) beautiful.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2006-09-30 17:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:27:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Look at the timestamps, faggot, when I did that and when you went on your -2 rampage. Now, WHY did I do it? On a whim? You should present all the facts before you go accusing anyone of anything. ETS does it all the time, and look how seriously people take him. People see through your bullshit, my friend. You're Urbane with a penis.
___________
BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAAH
I <3 you georgie... have my babies?
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 10:40:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-09-30 10:34:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
**THIS** was actually pretty funny.
Did ya get to second base?
-----
Sorry, that's classified.
-------------------------
Fine I'll just get the info from Em
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Then again who else makes 4 accounts so he can post 4 times a day and rotate the -2DIE's he gets?
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you all remember that emo chick who was going to commit seppuku live through webcast? Well I think thats what this guy is going to do as soon as his overall average rating of posts drops into the negative.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Look at the timestamps, faggot, when I did that and when you went on your -2 rampage. Now, WHY did I do it? On a whim? You should present all the facts before you go accusing anyone of anything. ETS does it all the time, and look how seriously people take him. People see through your bullshit, my friend. You're Urbane with a penis.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:21:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:14:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:09:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:49:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think he killed her cause she hasn't commented on this yet.
====
Coley,
UnderOathMeal = Cinderblock = Gingerly = Nancypants
Keep up!
============
Dude, I know you have fifty accounts. What does that have to do with my comment?
----
Coles - you said I hadn't commented on it yet, when clearly below you was a Gingerly note.
_______________________
I think coley was referring to me, sweetie.
Method, Bret is actually a lot like you - he acts like a jerkoff on this website for his own entertainment, but in person, he's a smart, funny, entertaining guy who is great fun to be around.
So do and say whatever you want, but try not to get too bent out of shape. After all, it's only the internet.
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:14:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:09:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:49:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think he killed her cause she hasn't commented on this yet.
====
Coley,
UnderOathMeal = Cinderblock = Gingerly = Nancypants
Keep up!
============
Dude, I know you have fifty accounts. What does that have to do with my comment?
----
Coles - you said I hadn't commented on it yet, when clearly below you was a Gingerly note.
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Method, I guess it's subjective.
Here's the thing:
1. You call me a hypocrite for -2ing someone more than you think I should.
2. You log in with 3 alters and do the exact same thing to this post.
Do you not comprehend the shere nonsense in your argument, considering this?
Do you?
...
The only truth you've typed here today is "I'm a bigger loser than you are."
Yes, Method, you are.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 16:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:09:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:49:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think he killed her cause she hasn't commented on this yet.
====
Coley,
UnderOathMeal = Cinderblock = Gingerly = Nancypants
Keep up!
============
Dude, I know you have fifty accounts. What does that have to do with my comment?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-30 15:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'd have crazy eyes too if some internet psychopath was holding an 8" knife to your larynx
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-30 15:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
good GOD I LOVE dwight schrute!!
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-09-30 15:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have crazy eyes like Dwight Schrute! http://xfd.xanga.com/a66b44065763044804853/z30283160.jpg
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 15:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This guy gives you one -2 on your post and you go and spam the fuck out of his account with multiple users? And you call ME a troll, you fucking hypocrite? I don't spam people's accounts when they -2 me. Know why? Because I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Did you think no one would notice because it's Saturday? Well, guess what, I'm a bigger loser than you are, and I'm calling you out for the piece of shit that you are.
Congratulations, you've joined the sad, miserable ranks of Eric D. Rice and Koolmang. You're a sad, SAD piece of shit. It just goes to show how important ratings and internet acceptance are to you, or you wouldn't have gone out of your way to spam this guy.
Anything you say or post now will just make you look like a miserable, pathetic fucking tool.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90084#2165006
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90417#2165009
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90418#2165007
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88190#2164998
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92498#2165001
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92498#2165001
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90821#2164999
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88190#2081749
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88094#2165002
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86756#2165003
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86586#2165008
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85121#2165004
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 15:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
3 alters? That's the best you can do?
... and you call *me* a pussy.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 15:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Run to Bart and get me banned now, ickle girl! You know you want to! And then you can tell all your cool new internet friends "LOL I GOT METHOD BANNED I TOLD HIM NOT FUCK WITH ME LOL"
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL IF I GET ACCEPTANCE ON THE INTERNET THEN MY LIFE WILL BE COMPLETE
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
IM THE ROBIN HOOD OF UBERSITE LOL FAGGOT
Submitted by Tr4ppedunderice (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88989#2165011
Submitted by Harbinger (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88989#2165011
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88989#2165011
WAAAAA My ratings WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:39:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Didja do him Jeanneee?
----------
They don't call me "the randiest skank in all of Sluttsylvania" for nothing.
Actually, no one calls me that. I just made it up.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didja do him Jeanneee?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww, thanks hot stuff.
PS, you left a bunch of beer here.
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:22:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE JUST USING ME TO TRY AND GET INTERNET CRED, YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT
====
... and I can't believe how cute you look in this picture.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE JUST USING ME TO TRY AND GET INTERNET CRED, YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 14:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:49:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think he killed her cause she hasn't commented on this yet.
====
Coley,
UnderOathMeal = Cinderblock = Gingerly = Nancypants
Keep up!
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-30 13:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
still a doucherocket in my book.
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-09-30 13:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-30 13:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aaahahahahaha, you BASTARD
Submitted by rcchristi (user info) at 2006-09-30 13:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a question which happens to be the same as my first and last names, and I'll leave it at that.
- - Jeff Ucker
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-30 13:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:10:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
You guys read WAAAAAY too into this, which is flattering that you think about me so much, but it really IS because of my tiny penis and less than respectable stature. At 5'3", the only place I CAN be a tough guy is on the internet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its about time you tell the truth.
If fact, I've bean meaning to tell you. I went the the naughty store the other night and found that device you were looking for. It's $89 buck, money back if you don't see a larger penis in two hours. Give it a shot. Ya never know.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Moooooo baby J MOOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:49:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think he killed her cause she hasn't commented on this yet.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best post you've ever done!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 stinkyfinger.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You guys read WAAAAAY too into this, which is flattering that you think about me so much, but it really IS because of my tiny penis and less than respectable stature. At 5'3", the only place I CAN be a tough guy is on the internet.
Jeez guys, seriously, lay off, you're going to hurt my feelings, and when my feelings are hurt, the puppies suffer.
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:43:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
hey...method...why is it that you feel the need to be an asshole all the time? and why is it you think you have such a stringhold on other people's emotions? like other people will get a reaction from shit that you do. like me...right now. i'm not pissed off at you, i'm just wondering why you act the way you do.
is your pompous behavior here due to your inability to fend yourself when you're not staring at a computer screen (i'm assuming not given your husky stature)? or perhaps is your presumptuous thinking a result of overeducation and a simple lack of social interaction?
i'm not sure.
i certainly won't lose sleep over it, though.
-------------
Cocaine, what Method does is nothing more than a dance. It's to entertain both him and others, nothing more, nothing less.
In person I'm sure he's far less intimidating and much more human than he'd let on here.
But as has been said, he's got enough backing to where he can bash all day and never reap a consequence.
Personally? I think he ought to reconsider how he treats people. But hey, those words I'm sure will fall on deaf ears.
... fat, greasy, greek, deaf ears.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol it's because I have a small penis
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And where the hell did you get that picture?
It looks like both of them.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-30 12:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:43:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
hey...method...why is it that you feel the need to be an asshole all the time? and why is it you think you have such a stringhold on other people's emotions? like other people will get a reaction from shit that you do. like me...right now. i'm not pissed off at you, i'm just wondering why you act the way you do.
is your pompous behavior here due to your inability to fend yourself when you're not staring at a computer screen (i'm assuming not given your husky stature)? or perhaps is your presumptuous thinking a result of overeducation and a simple lack of social interaction?
i'm not sure.
i certainly won't lose sleep over it, though.
________
Method is internet famous. He can do whatever he wants.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:43:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
hey...method...why is it that you feel the need to be an asshole all the time? and why is it you think you have such a stringhold on other people's emotions? like other people will get a reaction from shit that you do. like me...right now. i'm not pissed off at you, i'm just wondering why you act the way you do.
is your pompous behavior here due to your inability to fend yourself when you're not staring at a computer screen (i'm assuming not given your husky stature)? or perhaps is your presumptuous thinking a result of overeducation and a simple lack of social interaction?
i'm not sure.
i certainly won't lose sleep over it, though.
___________________________
AND TEH SHIT BEGINS!!!!
Cokebreath, you just opened Pandora's box with one of the Uber greats. May Method have mercy on your pitiful soul....
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey...method...why is it that you feel the need to be an asshole all the time? and why is it you think you have such a stringhold on other people's emotions? like other people will get a reaction from shit that you do. like me...right now. i'm not pissed off at you, i'm just wondering why you act the way you do.
is your pompous behavior here due to your inability to fend yourself when you're not staring at a computer screen (i'm assuming not given your husky stature)? or perhaps is your presumptuous thinking a result of overeducation and a simple lack of social interaction?
i'm not sure.
i certainly won't lose sleep over it, though.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:28:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Simmer down old man, you'd shit your pants if I started being nice.
Like this.
Good story.
Now go change your drawers, bubba
______________________
Here's the deal: Method, you send me your address, I send you my pants.
:-D
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can I smell your finger, Bret
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:28:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Simmer down old man, you'd shit your pants if I started being nice.
Like this.
Good story.
Now go change your drawers, bubba
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:24:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
the funniest thing is you'll STILL get pissed off at this -2
_____________________________
"Step right up, folks. See the Mighty Method in all his assholishness."
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey there, dipstick. Why'd ya wait so long to post something good?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
the funniest thing is you'll STILL get pissed off at this -2
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2006-09-30 11:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-30 10:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally something that doesnt suck
Submitted by Gingerly (user info) at 2006-09-30 10:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-09-30 10:34:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
**THIS** was actually pretty funny.
Did ya get to second base?
-----
Sorry, that's classified.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-09-30 10:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
**THIS** was actually pretty funny.
Did ya get to second base? chicka chicka bow wow
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-30 10:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So now you are what Angel refers to as "fleshy friends"