Grueberfest 06: Round Two Matches and Tittles (Once More, With Feeling) (2698 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: grueberfest06
Rating: 1.65 on 268 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-10-05 11:11:55 EDT
Considering all the forfeits and no-shows in Round 1, and that there were 18 entries and only 16 Round 2 spots to fill, I figure it's fair to just let everyone who wrote something advance. Why have two losers? I ask you.
I'm also doing this to reward the people that posted, and in the hope that, because of this, there will be fewer dropouts this time around.
And so I bring you the pairings for Round 2, drawn at random, as always, from the Boston Red Sox Hat of Farewell Trot Nixon, You're Likely Not Coming Back Next Year:
Anansie v. Axolotl
JoeyG v. Stagger_Lee
redskieslookfake v. fluffy_love
sicosemen v. forensicgirl3
kaos_king v. Bigmike
HighVoltage900 v. AsshOly
Jack_McCallum v. ghola
domenad v. goferferhire
Orgasmatron v. JMG114
AUTHORS MUST GIVE A TITTLE TO THEIR COMPETITIOR BY THE END OF THE DAY.
YES, A TITTLE.
POST THAT TITTLE IN THIS REFERENCE POST.
Round 2 stories due: Midnight TUESDAY OCTOBER 10.
Round 2 voting ends: Midnight, WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 11.
Round 3 stories due 10/17 - Results 10/19
Round 4 stories due 10/24 - Results 10/26
Final Round stories due 10/30 - Results 10/31
User Reviews
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heat
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 23:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Comment below.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 23:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-11 18:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-11 17:52:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just because I didn't post doesn't mean I'm out does it?
I'll assume not and if I'm not assigned a title in the following rounds I'll be chosing my own. No problem.
--
What the hell is it with girls, man?
I mean, if they didn't look so great naked, what would be the point?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-11 17:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just because I didn't post doesn't mean I'm out does it?
I'll assume not and if I'm not assigned a title in the following rounds I'll be chosing my own. No problem.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 13:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Look just because you're not wearing any doesn't mean you have to start claiming everyone else is bunching theirs.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-11 13:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to be an ass and state that I think the whole Ubermadness competition is pretentious cock wankery. Lawrd, talk about panty bunching!
hehehehe
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"My brevity." Announced my brevity. I'm not short, I'm tall muhfuck.
And shit Jack, sorry. That problem's been remedied.
I guess it's official, then: *I* am the coke monkey. The rest of you are good people.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is Ubersite. It's all my business. And I would, darling, but I already flossed my teeth today. Thanks for the consideration, though.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, licious, darling, but I'm completely calm and if you had been paying attention I was calm from the get go. It was the tone in which O responded that led me to believe that he flew off the handle, as clearly he saw as well, hence the need for him to anounce his shortness. Instead, you nosed your way into something not dealing with you, who'd a thunk it?
Sincerely, though, I >< me >< appreciate your input.
Just to solve this all, I'm sorry that I misread into O-tron's tone, really, sincerely, deeply, forever indebted, truly, without a shadow of a doubt, I'm sorry.
Now, licious, you brazen doll, you, can you assume the hummer position?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:57:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
The Bell is always a dinner option. And I may be picking up Tiger Woods Golf this week for the 360. If not, then perhaps Marvel Ultimate Alliance at the end of the month.
You can play, I'll touch.
READ THE STORIES, COKE MONKEYS:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
--
YOU FUCKING COCK-MONKEY WHERE THE FUCK IS THE LINK TO MY GODDAMNED STORY (DEADLINE OR NO DEADLINE) YOU ELITIST BASTARD! TOO BUSY PLAYING FELCH WITH YOUR BUDDY IN THE DOG COLLAR? FUCK YOU! DOUBLE FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU THRICE!
The Hallway http://www.ubersite.com/m/94276
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Hey, pussy face..." don't give yourself so much credit. No one's in bunches here. I was just keeping it brief because I was in the middle of reading all the other entries.
Looks like ghola never posted either, Jack. And no worries...at this point I'm assuming that a lot of people are putting UM first. Which is to be expected.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:17:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeez, cunty face....I was giving you a hard time, nothing else. But while you have your panties in a bundle can you pull them really hard up in the front so that your labia sticks out on either side. I find this extremely funny looking as it parts the red sea per say.
Chill out, Mr. "let's go to a panel, stick up my ass, Iatolla."
==
How come every time someone responds to a comment of yours, you call them a cunt and imply they are overreacting to you? Why bother talking if people aren't welcome to reply?
Seriously, dude..and I'm entirely calm and maybe even a little bored saying it, but maybe you should chill out.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit, O, I didn't realize I missed the deadline.
Sorry, man.
Ah well. I was busting ass on my Ubermadness post. UM will always get most of my attention.
Did that little knife-wielding minx post her tale... so to speak?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeez, cunty face....I was giving you a hard time, nothing else. But while you have your panties in a bundle can you pull them really hard up in the front so that your labia sticks out on either side. I find this extremely funny looking as it parts the red sea per say.
Chill out, Mr. "let's go to a panel, stick up my ass, Iatolla."
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wrote it late last night and posted it as soon as I was done. If everyone has a problem with that I'm more than happy to take a DQ. Put it to a vote if it pleases you.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-11 11:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you bend the rules and post an entry after the submission date?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Settle, Hole. Settle. Just giving grief is all.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-11 01:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:32:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
As you should. Forfeiters are the lowest of the low. Untouchable, really.
--
I WAS BUSY :(
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-11 01:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Boys Boys!!
Keyboard envy, exhaustion, and cock wankery.
Everyone needs a nap.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 01:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will not read it until you tell me how awesome my keyboard is.
I am typing in the dark with my illumination on.
Seriously why do I need the illumination keyboard other than to be a pretentious fuck? I mean my original idea was to have it match the illumination on my CPU but now I see I'm just a douche bag.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 01:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will review upon the morrow. Er...later today.
For now, I must sleep.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Read mine, you bottlenosed dolphin.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My keyboard----> http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/xoxide/saitek-eclipse-kb-2.jpg
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Bell is always a dinner option. And I may be picking up Tiger Woods Golf this week for the 360. If not, then perhaps Marvel Ultimate Alliance at the end of the month.
You can play, I'll touch.
READ THE STORIES, COKE MONKEYS:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:50:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
To answer your question, Stag: Were you biting on something at the time? Perhaps sneezed your face against a desk or a plate of some sort?
--------
No so much as a biscuit. It scared me a little. Perhaps my Round 3 (if there is one) post will be about it.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude stagger you should see my keyboard it is an illumination keyboard with multiple light settings.
In the words of Eric Cartman, it's totally tits.
And O-man mommy told me that you are a bad man and to tell her if you touch me at night but that's okay you have Xbox360 at your house so I don't mind not telling her about last time. Can we have Taco bell for dinner?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To answer your question, Stag: Were you biting on something at the time? Perhaps sneezed your face against a desk or a plate of some sort?
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alright, little one, alright. You'll get one of your very own some day.
This is the weekend you're staying with me, right? Your bitch of a mother never calls me and keeps me informed of the schedule the court cooked up for us. To "share." Whatever.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to buy you a new keyboard, HV.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SCOURGE GOT A WIAN ON HIS OWN AND WAS IN THE TRAGIKAL HATERY THOUGH I DID QUITE ENJOY THE LAST ONE YOU DON'T LOVE ME AS MUCH AS MOMMY WHICH IS WHY I STAY AT HER HOUSE I HATE YOU I HOPE YOU SPEND CHRISTMAS ALONE WITHOUT POWER TO REHEAT YOUR HOT POCKETS.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just sneezed and my front teeth hurt, is that normal?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NEED I DIRECT YOU TO TRAGICKAL HATERY? PERHAPS ITS SEQUEL?
THAT YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. IT'S A WONDER I HAVEN'T INSISTED THAT YOU PUBLICLY KISS MY PUCKER FOR THOSE.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU O-MAN YOU HAVE STILL FAILED TO DO A "WHAT'S IN AN AWESOME NAME" FOR ME SO GO FORNICATE YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY SPOON I LIKE RUSTY SPOONS THEY FEEL GOOD AGAINST MY SKIN.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94287
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DO YOU NOT ENJOY MY HANDY STORY LINK, POLETAGE?
OH FIE! FIE! FIE!
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:27:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:18:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94279
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94233
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94287 (Missed this last review)
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94280
redskieslookfake - "Dry" (forfeit)
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear" (MISSED DEADLINE)
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94126
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94200 =
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94150
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94201
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94244
AsshOly - (Forfeit)
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway" (MISSED DEADLINE)
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones" (MISSED DEADLINE)
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling" (MISSED DEADLINE)
goferferhire - "Boneyard" (MISSED DEADLINE)
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94291 (Rocked it like it's 1993 in Notepad)
JMG114 - "The Lump" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94282
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:18:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94279
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94233
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial"
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94280
redskieslookfake - "Dry" (forfeit)
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear"
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94126
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94200 =
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94150
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94201
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94244
AsshOly - (Forfeit)
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway" (MISSED DEADLINE)
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones" (MISSED DEADLINE)
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling" (MISSED DEADLINE)
goferferhire - "Boneyard" (MISSED DEADLINE)
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94291 (Rocked it like it's 1993 in Notepad)
JMG114 - "The Lump" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94282
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah dog. I only tend to write in Notepad. Don't ask why.
I think it has something to do with the fact that Notepad and Uber use the same font.
It's really a wonder that more of my posts don't have misspelled words. Fucking Notepad.
I'm ashamed of my writing practices, really. All of them.
In other news - a handy story link:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Notepad?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just let me de-Notepad this bitch and format it for posting.
JAMONE!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:02:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
shit. i'm probably gonna forfeit. no time lately.
this is my first forfeit ever. *hangs head in shame*
sorry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, man. That sucks. You guys were a good match up.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh nevermind I forgot jmg had already posted.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah no sweat O-man, I wrote my entry in 20 minutes. You're fine. Besides if your competitor doesn't post you win by default.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit. i'm probably gonna forfeit. no time lately.
this is my first forfeit ever. *hangs head in shame*
sorry.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:28:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
The furious pumping begins now.
I wonder how fast these fingers can fly.
===
so, so fas...HEY are you at my window again?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:28:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:16:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
My guess is that O-man is either typing away furiously to pump out a story, or he is asleep.
---
The furious pumping begins now.
I wonder how fast these fingers can fly.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94279
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94233
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial"
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94280
redskieslookfake - "Dry" (forfeit)
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear"
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94126
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94200 (Which sico lost a shit over.)
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94150
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94201
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94244
AsshOly - (Forfeit)
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway"
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling"
goferferhire - "Boneyard"
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "The Lump" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94282
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My guess is that O-man is either typing away furiously to pump out a story, or he is asleep.
Or servicing his wife.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My entry: "The Lump"
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94282
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94279
Done. I'll read everyone's entries tomorrow. I don't have time right now.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94280
Yea, my hombres, feast upon my hastily written tripe.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:30:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:05:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I've got my entry about halfway done. Hopefully I'll be done in time to study. You see the pains I take for you people? I am so unsung.
---
Hey, at least you've started.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:23:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna have to write this in the car on the way to work, and finish it in my lunchbreak. I wish the Aussie government just paid me to be awesome.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I've got my entry about halfway done. Hopefully I'll be done in time to study. You see the pains I take for you people? I am so unsung.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-10 16:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*insert running feet sound from The Flinstones*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-10 16:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, ghola finally showed up later that day and gave you a title. "The Hallway."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-10 16:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh...
Fuck me, am I still in this?
???
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-10 14:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
NIPPELZ ROCK
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:54:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
No offense to Ax, but he only has like a 1.5 rating. Anasie you could post a pic of nipples and win.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not so much about him. I have a midterm tomorrow. I have to review about 300 pages. I also have to read Acts I and II of Richard II for a regular exam.
On top of that, I have to write this entry. I don't want to forfeit, because I know once I get through tomorrow, I'll have plenty of time to write. Plus, I have a good idea.
I'll see how it goes when I get home from school.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No offense to Ax, but he only has like a 1.5 rating. Anasie you could post a pic of nipples and win.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:34:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am so fucked.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop"
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94233
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial"
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night"
redskieslookfake - "Dry" (forfeit)
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear"
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94126
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94200 (Which sico lost a shit over.)
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94150
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94201
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94244
AsshOly - (Forfeit)
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway"
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling"
goferferhire - "Boneyard"
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 11:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94244 - Supper's Ready
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-10 10:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" or "Innocence Lies"
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
I'm sorry kaos, I thought that I gave you two titles you could work with. I didn't consider either one of these to be "Craptastic".
I'll try and give better titles next time, if I actually have a next time.
I think that, for the most part, everybody is doing a pretty good job with their titles.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-10 10:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First:
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:07:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously, this time, if all you fagots do is pass out sympathy "you're title sucks" shit, why don't you rub each other down with oil. I personally liked that title, and everyone else is like OMG, NO He didant, title sucks. My opponent beat me fair and square and wrote a way better story with me...but upon reading reviews it seems as though you want this to be as easy as possible. For fucks sake, if everything was a cookie cutter title this may actually have less of a crowd drawn in than it already does. I won't be reading, rating, etc. to any more grueberfest posts for this fact alone.
Yah, I know, skate it off, skate if off. I've never heard so much whining, pissing and moaning in my life, not even when I went to the "Real Live Action Suzie Squat" plant did I hear that much. Congratulations to Forensigirl and to everyone else who won and competed, honestly, I mean that. For everyone else, the reach around line starts behind me.
..........
Real Live Action Suzie Squat.................ok, I just about pissed myself laughing at that.
Seriously Dude, calm down! Yeah, I thought the title sucked a little bit of ass but so what?! I went ahead and came up with a story for it.
Now, IF I would have been a REAL whiney bitch about it, I would have thrown a tantrum and demanded a new title.
And really, I have YET to see a "cookie cutter title" in a G-Fest contest.
And I don't want sympathy votes. If they think my entry sucketh the asseth, then they should rate it as such.
Opinions are like assholes you know.
------------------------------
Second:
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:35:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad, quite the opposite, shit stick. I knew I was going to lose before I even posted. I just don't see where everyone gets off thinking everyone should have a title like "Boo!" or "Friday the 13th." It's fucking ridiculuos and all the hype that surrounds the title really spoiled this for me. But since your so educated and superior, you are entitled to your own skewed, crappy, opinion, just like I am entitled to my far better, more tried, great opinion.
Other words, suck it easy...or better yet, put a cock in it.
.............
Word of advice here, Dude. Be careful when mentioning cock around Rad. It works him up something fierce. When he gets like that, he looks for a hole. ANY hole. And if it just so happens to belong to a guy, well..........................
Settle down, Beavis.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-10 09:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A pulse and a shriek: http://www.ubersite.com/m/94233
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad, you are so neat.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, more like you are being a whiny little bitch.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad, quite the opposite, shit stick. I knew I was going to lose before I even posted. I just don't see where everyone gets off thinking everyone should have a title like "Boo!" or "Friday the 13th." It's fucking ridiculuos and all the hype that surrounds the title really spoiled this for me. But since your so educated and superior, you are entitled to your own skewed, crappy, opinion, just like I am entitled to my far better, more tried, great opinion.
Other words, suck it easy...or better yet, put a cock in it.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're a whiny little bitch dude.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously, this time, if all you fagots do is pass out sympathy "you're title sucks" shit, why don't you rub each other down with oil. I personally liked that title, and everyone else is like OMG, NO He didant, title sucks. My opponent beat me fair and square and wrote a way better story with me...but upon reading reviews it seems as though you want this to be as easy as possible. For fucks sake, if everything was a cookie cutter title this may actually have less of a crowd drawn in than it already does. I won't be reading, rating, etc. to any more grueberfest posts for this fact alone.
Yah, I know, skate it off, skate if off. I've never heard so much whining, pissing and moaning in my life, not even when I went to the "Real Live Action Suzie Squat" plant did I hear that much. Congratulations to Forensigirl and to everyone else who won and competed, honestly, I mean that. For everyone else, the reach around line starts behind me.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-10 02:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94200
"Seed of treats"
Heh
So teh ghey
so very teh ghey
fuck!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-10 01:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Round 2 entry.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94201
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you remember before when people in the DC metro area were afraid of box trucks because they thought people were sniping at them from them?
Thank god everything is back to normal. Where white box trucks are back to being the vehicle of choice for rapists and buggery addicts.
Yes. Does it deter you?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me guess...it'll be waiting inside your box van?
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By "me" I mean HighVoltage900.
I am not an alter....
WELL Come to the Ubercon and we can prove it. God damn it why do people have to have Auto-Logon on their computers?
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O-man if you come to a DC ubercon with me and Silent Renegade we have a video for you. A present.
It's called "The Pornotron"
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-09 20:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The day before deadline and I don't even have ONE matchup to read? Sheesh.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 18:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:46:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" (?LOL OMG WTF ROFLLOLLERZ?)
----------------
I'm 3/4 of the way done with my next entry which, by the way, has a totally GHEY title.
And I warn you all now, it's going to be a long one.
bite me
--
The Lady hath balls.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" (?LOL OMG WTF ROFLLOLLERZ?)
----------------
I'm 3/4 of the way done with my next entry which, by the way, has a totally GHEY title.
And I warn you all now, it's going to be a long one.
bite me
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:32:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
As you should. Forfeiters are the lowest of the low. Untouchable, really.
Did you know that the word forfeit comes from the French word "le forfeiteur," which was a traditional name for the manservent responsible for licking Napoleon's ass clean whenever he'd drop a deuce. Apparently the Emperor did not trust bidets, and preferred the feel of a good pliant tongue on his hot, filthy knot.
--
ACTUALLY...
Forfeit is a bastardization of 'four-fete,' in reference to a French practice during the Middle Ages in which the loser of an honorable challenge was beaten senseless and bound and tossed in an oven to be cooked alive, thus the 'oven-celebration.'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:22:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, thank goodness. I hate being a forfeiter.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:19:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Anansie --
Nope. They're due by tomorrow night. 11:59PM Eastern, Tuesday Oct. 10.
I knew that using "midnight" would cause problems. Especially when I used it wrong.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:12:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
So they are due midnight tonight? Fuckall...
--
For a second I thought you guys were talking about the racccoons.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:32:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
As you should. Forfeiters are the lowest of the low. Untouchable, really.
Did you know that the word forfeit comes from the French word "le forfeiteur," which was a traditional name for the manservent responsible for licking Napoleon's ass clean whenever he'd drop a deuce. Apparently the Emperor did not trust bidets, and preferred the feel of a good pliant tongue on his hot, filthy knot.
---
Don't we all.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope I have time to do this.
:(
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As you should. Forfeiters are the lowest of the low. Untouchable, really.
Did you know that the word forfeit comes from the French word "le forfeiteur," which was a traditional name for the manservent responsible for licking Napoleon's ass clean whenever he'd drop a deuce. Apparently the Emperor did not trust bidets, and preferred the feel of a good pliant tongue on his hot, filthy knot.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, thank goodness. I hate being a forfeiter.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anansie --
Nope. They're due by tomorrow night. 11:59PM Eastern, Tuesday Oct. 10.
I knew that using "midnight" would cause problems. Especially when I used it wrong.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So they are due midnight tonight? Fuckall...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 13:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The poor little guys must have gotten into some toothpaste or something because their cute little mouths were all foamy.
If they come back tonight I'm gonna try and pet them.
They look nice and soft.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 13:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On the plus side, I had four racoons right outside my window the last few nights, farting around in a little tree, illuminated by the full mopn. VERY cool.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 13:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This unending fuckery is annoying.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 13:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and a Military Dude on Coast to Coast last night was saying that even with their shitty submarine technology the N. Koreans could get a nuke within launching range of any major west coast city.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 13:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just ran my numbers and I won fuck all in the lottery.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
....sory.
Monday meltdown.
I emailed my story from home to work.
And I don't see it in my work email.
I'm so angry I could kick Christ in the nuts.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddamn motherfuckin firewall bullshit SUCK MY COCK!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK!
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop"
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial"
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night"
redskieslookfake - "Dry" (forfeit)
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear"
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94126
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" (?LOL OMG WTF ROFLLOLLERZ?)
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94150
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" (Voted #1 most attractice Uberer by People Magazine)
AsshOly - (Forfeit)
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway"
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling"
goferferhire - "Boneyard"
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So like, I had this really awesome story going, and I was about half way finished with it, right?
Then I realized, wow! This has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with either craptastic title that Big Mike gave me.
So I was lying on the couch, dreading the possiblities of having to write some lame-ass tale at the last minute.
I mention to my brother the titles and he tells me I can do "Sorely Missed" in a different way.
That was when the giggling began...
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-09 10:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn myself to hell as well:
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-09 10:45:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
God damn it redskies I hope you burn in hell.
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop"
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial"
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night"
redskieslookfake - "Dry" (forfeit like a little pussy)
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear" (provided Jake was serious)
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94126
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" (?LOL OMG WTF ROFLLOLLERZ?)
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" or "Innocence Lies"
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" (Voted #1 most attractice Uberer by People Magazine)
AsshOly - (I missed an 'f' the last time I wrote Forfeit here.)
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway"
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling"
goferferhire - "Boneyard"
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-09 10:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God damn it redskies I hope you burn in hell.
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop"
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial"
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night"
redskieslookfake - "Dry" (forfeit like a little pussy)
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear" (provided Jake was serious)
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye" http://www.ubersite.com/m/94126
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" (?LOL OMG WTF ROFLLOLLERZ?)
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" or "Innocence Lies"
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" (Voted #1 most attractice Uberer by People Magazine)
AsshOly - (F.O.R.E.I.T. WHAT DOES IT SPELL? I dunno...)
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway"
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling"
goferferhire - "Boneyard"
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-10-09 09:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture gives me the willies.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-09 06:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I must regretfully withdraw from the competition. I have a lot of work commitments and some opportunities that I must look at seriously over the next few days.
Very sorry all.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-09 05:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GrueberFest '06: R2 - "Sorely Missed"
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94150
It's yummy...
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-08 18:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-08 15:45:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
IMA KEEL YOU!
=======
IMA DED OH NOES!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-08 15:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94126 Here, bitches.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-08 15:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IMA KEEL YOU!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-08 15:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU noobs, I was kidding. Jeez, eat my hymen.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-08 15:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In other news:
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop"
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial"
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night"
redskieslookfake - "Dry"
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear" (provided Jake was serious)
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye"
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" (?LOL OMG WTF ROFLLOLLERZ?)
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" or "Innocence Lies"
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" "Fireside Song" "In The Wilderness" "Silent Sun" or "One-Eyed Hound"
AsshOly - "A By-the-Numbers Murder" "Derelicition" or "Screams Sound So Sweet"
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway"
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling"
goferferhire - "Boneyard"
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-08 15:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's easy to see that someone pissed in the Uberpops this morning...
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-08 15:21:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus fucking christ sico, call down.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-08 15:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't know if you were serious or not, mother bitches.
Calm yourself.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-08 14:53:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who do you think you are, the fucking commissioner of this competition? Why does the title I gave forensigumby have a (?) next to it? You big dummy head. I would love to write with that title, you fucking MORE ON. I will bomb your competition.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-08 12:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O-man I have killed for less.
You're cleared for landing.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-08 12:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-08 12:19:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the gentlemanly thing to do is all.
Can you make sure that you get a little landing strip waxed...for me?
________________________
Don't slip on the wax...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-08 12:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the gentlemanly thing to do is all.
Can you make sure that you get a little landing strip waxed...for me?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-08 11:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O-man I don't think you understand, so let me spell it out for you.
My creativity is finite. Very finite. You think I just pull this stuff out of mid air? No! I'm reading it out of a 100 page book of short stories! And what happens when I am out of stories? I'll tell you, my uber career is over (to the jubilation of many) as we know it!
If you are going to be a little cum stain and complain I will still post a story, and it will be good. Alright? Does that clear out the sand in your vagina?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-08 11:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You could always be a man, nut up, and post anyway Voltage.
If you're not going dress shopping and getting your pussy waxed, that is.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-08 11:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-08 06:59:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
I QUIT
FUCK UBERMADNESS, FUCK GRUEBERFEST, AND FUCK ALL OF YOU
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Seriously, though, I'm forfeiting. Real life is a bitch. Actually it's not. I played football and laser tag all day long today and put myself behind schedule on my writing endeavors, and I begin a new job on Monday, which is when I had planned on writing my grueberfest post. I'm just forewarning you. I may still write something because I had a kick ass idea, but if I do it will be well after the deadline.
Two contests going on at the same time is absolutely no fun at all. Good luck HV. I hope you didnt go ahead and break your back writing your post for absolutely nothing at all.
======
YES! Once again I skate by!
Right as I finished my Grueberfest post. Here it is:
Title: Supper's Ready
HA BITCHES! I don't have to write anything because I am teh roxxor! Suck it!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-08 07:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah yes. Dry eh? ok then
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-08 06:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I QUIT
FUCK UBERMADNESS, FUCK GRUEBERFEST, AND FUCK ALL OF YOU
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Seriously, though, I'm forfeiting. Real life is a bitch. Actually it's not. I played football and laser tag all day long today and put myself behind schedule on my writing endeavors, and I begin a new job on Monday, which is when I had planned on writing my grueberfest post. I'm just forewarning you. I may still write something because I had a kick ass idea, but if I do it will be well after the deadline.
Two contests going on at the same time is absolutely no fun at all. Good luck HV. I hope you didnt go ahead and break your back writing your post for absolutely nothing at all.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-07 10:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um..red..he did..it's right there.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-07 09:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have two drastically different ideas for this next round.
I have no idea which one to go with...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-07 06:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GIVE ME A TITLE
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-07 02:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Probably the "bad man" one.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-07 02:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 22:09:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a Cave title, Joey, you better respect it.
-----------------------------------
I've offered you a choice of 3..... which one will you choose?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 22:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a Cave title, Joey, you better respect it.
Submitted by fluffy_love (user info) at 2006-10-06 20:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, havent been around a computer. if its not too late, my opponent's title is "Dry"
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-06 12:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOW DID SCOURGE MISS THIS SHITSTORM OF A HEATED POST?
MY MONEY IS ON DOMENAD TO TAKE IT ALL.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-06 12:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In other news:
Anansie - "Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop"
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"
JoeyG - "Your Funeral, My Trial"
Stagger_Lee - "The Bad Man Came Again Last Night"
redskieslookfake -
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear" (provided Jake was serious)
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye"
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" (?)
kaos_king - "Sorely Missed" or "Innocence Lies"
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" "Fireside Song" "In The Wilderness" "Silent Sun" or "One-Eyed Hound"
AsshOly - "A By-the-Numbers Murder" "Derelicition" or "Screams Sound So Sweet"
Jack_McCallum - "The Hallway"
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling"
goferferhire - "Boneyard"
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-06 12:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 10:09:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, we Brits (i.e. myself, TTOM, Apollo88, Orgasmatron, Nath, Dervel) disagree with you. We all love football.
---
This change was good enough for TS Eliot. It shall satisfy me as well.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 10:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 10:13:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
....I was born here.
---
Rolf Harris.
Own up.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 10:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....I was born here.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 10:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're stuck with being Australian Stagger. There was a reason why you were transported - and I'm betting it had to do with petty theft and cow tipping.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 10:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would also like to express my love for the noble sport of football.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 10:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-06 09:59:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
He's just being diplomatic. We still laugh at your ghey limey sport behind your backs.
If it's any consolation, I don't like American Football any better.
---
Well, we Brits (i.e. myself, TTOM, Apollo88, Orgasmatron, Nath, Dervel) disagree with you. We all love football.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-06 09:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's just being diplomatic. We still laugh at your ghey limey sport behind your backs.
If it's any consolation, I don't like American Football any better.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 09:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOOK EVERYONE - ORGASMATRON SAID 'FOOTBALL.' He is one of us now. You yanks will have to find a new wordsmith.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a feeling it had been too long since a post was taken over by football comments...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:23:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
He was going for the player. Duh.
Anyway, I'm not really imitating them, those are just my two favourite players. I gave up my dream of being Giggs when it became apparent that I didn't have enough pace to be a winger.
---
or hair.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He was going for the player. Duh.
Anyway, I'm not really imitating them, those are just my two favourite players. I gave up my dream of being Giggs when it became apparent that I didn't have enough pace to be a winger.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:17:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Scholesy can tackle and Giggsy can intercept.
---
And Scott Parker moves forward - Paul Scholes moving to tackle him.... OOOOOH that's a bad tackle. Scholsey took his eye off the ball there and caught the player there. Yellow card, Scholes will have to watch himself now...
DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scholesy can tackle and Giggsy can intercept.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:08:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is my title?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 08:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 07:14:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm modelling myself on a combination of Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs, only without any of the talent.
---
Yet you play in defence? You realise neither of these people can tackle?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-06 07:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stag,
A sober title seems a fair request, so I'll give the option between the one I already gave you, "Silent Screams" or "The Darkness From Above"
I'd love too see someone pull that last one off!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 07:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm modelling myself on a combination of Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs, only without any of the talent.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 06:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am modelling myself on Thierry Henry - only without the rapid acceleration or deadly finishing.
So - a gangly giraffe hoofing the ball over the bar from 20 yards while shouting 'FUCK FUCK FUCK.'
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The worst is trying to stepover past a certain brother of mine. He lives in my head and almost always predicts where I'm gonna go.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:27:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:24:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you, like you've never done a stepover. I like stepovers. And I have a female girlfriend.
---
AHA - I'm sorry -if you've done regular stepovers you are either one or the other. And your 'female girlfriend' sounds like a classic double negative.
DOES SHE HAVE A CUTE ADAMS APPLE?
---------
That's not a double negative, Simply Red, that's a double affirmative. Double yes. You'd be laughing out the other side of your face when a stepover sent you the wrong way, oh my yes.
I don't do them that often anymore. I'm too off the pace to do them in outdoor and in my role as defender at indoor and futsal there's not a lot of call for that sort of malarky.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to post loads of comments on Berty's posts now.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:27:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
When did the bird from friends ever run anywhere?
And brave honest lads? Weren't you calling them useless shiters or something similar the other day?
---
Brave honest useless shitters.
I am still proud of them. They're like kids at the special olympics.
The bird from friends had an episode where she ran stupidly - and it embarrassed Monica.
They repeat Friends all the bastard time in the mornings - and I occasionally stare at it with bleary eyes
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When did the bird from friends ever run anywhere?
And brave honest lads? Weren't you calling them useless shiters or something similar the other day?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:24:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you, like you've never done a stepover. I like stepovers. And I have a female girlfriend.
---
AHA - I'm sorry -if you've done regular stepovers you are either one or the other. And your 'female girlfriend' sounds like a classic double negative.
DOES SHE HAVE A CUTE ADAMS APPLE?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I suppose it is feasible that some of Ronaldo's grease was spraying around enough - and then maybe the newcastle player (brave honest lad) slipped in it - and then contacted Ronaldo's "Dive Aura" - causing the unfortunately faced - birdshit haired - runs like Phoebe from friends why has he got an earring - is he a pirate goddamnit? - smirking shitmuncher - to fall over where the air had solidified.
It could happen.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you, like you've never done a stepover. I like stepovers. And I have a female girlfriend.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't seen the game, so I can't comment. I'd probably be biased enough to say there was contact, though.
I hope Parker does well for England. I like him.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stepovers are for porkers and bum-magicians.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's the one that when it snaps goes right through the heart lungs and brain of a certain Portuguese bastard who DID try and dive against us twice - despite already pissing all over us. It takes a special kind of asslord to do that.
I am pleased that both Scott Parker and Steven Carr hammered him in the legs. Both yellow cards brought a satisfied smile to my face.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I nearly pissed myself laughing when he made the "divey divey" gesture at some Benfica player. Gold.
I haven't seen him dive himself this or last season. Credit Ferguson for that.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I might laugh at first, but then that'd put him out of the team for ages. Then I'd be sad.
Which one's the tibia?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never liked Bellamy either. He's the same sort.
You can't honestly tell me that if Ronaldo fell over in front of you, snapping his tibia in thirteen places and then started crying you wouldn't piss yourself with amusement.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Silence, bitter geordie. You'd love to have him. In more ways than one.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Make Stag write 'Cristiano Ronaldo - what a cunt'
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can give me a sober title if you like.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 03:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 02:35:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
You need pun detox, red.
---
You be quiet alter! You're lucky it wasn't YOUR ARSE I was tonking in round one! Ghola went cap in hand to the Big O and begged for a reprieve from the trapdoor. Of course at first he said no. He's a moral man. But then The G started snivelling and stuff - and threatening him with ritual castration and a waxing.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-06 03:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-05 19:22:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Joey, mein hombre, can I cut the "Mummy" from that title? You bastard.
Your title is "Your Funeral, My Trial".
----------------------------------------
Yeah, you can drop the "Mummy". I gotta admit I was pretty drunk when I came up with it.
As for "Your Funeral, My Trial" - I like that. I like that a lot.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-06 03:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm jealous of the titles I gave to HV900. Those come with some fantastic possibilities.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 02:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You need pun detox, red.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 02:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-06 00:01:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
good. i liked my title. def something i can work with.
i mean hell, last time i got "come sit a spell."
damned pun.
---
*Snickers* You should see what my new opponent has dear Ghola
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-06 00:01:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good. i liked my title. def something i can work with.
i mean hell, last time i got "come sit a spell."
damned pun.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 23:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:30:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
but yea seriously jack, my boss showed up at work today so i had ZERO computer access. if you hate your title i'll give you a new one.
--
No, I like it. Hope ya like yours.
And damn, you DID have a busy day.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-05 23:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 23:39:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. BigMike, sir... I'm thinking that I will probably go with "Sorely Missed."
Beautiful. I don't think you're gonna find out which one I pick until I submit it. I'll decide last minute.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 23:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. BigMike, sir... I'm thinking that I will probably go with "Sorely Missed."
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-05 23:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love that picture; I was just staring at it a while. There's no telling how long I was out, really.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For my story last round, I thought I was gonna get a lot of reviews saying "This isn't horror". I was pleasantly surprised.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, this could be interesting.
Kaos, you have a choice.
"Sorely missed"
or
"Innocence lies"
That's the title I gave last round but ahumblefool couldn't write.
Good luck and may the most disgusting, evil, horrifying, twisted story win.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-05 20:00:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
My competitor forfeiting was a Godsend to me, as it gave me a good excuse to bow out. Too many hours of work, a very sick dog, and a wife frantic about possibly losing our old dog, who will be 17 in February, if he makes it, all added up to more than an old fucker should have to bear.
---
Sounds like a blues song.
Don't eat no kibble
Don't drink no wine
My shoe he'll nibble
Still feelin' fine
My wife she's cryin'
She's worried sick
All this goodbyein'
Can suck my dick
I got the Old Dog Blues, good Lord
The Old Dog Blues
I got the Old Dog Blues, good Lord
He's fuckin' old
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My secret fear, never told this to any living soul before: my secret fear is of Star T.
When I was very little, my dad's best friend at NASA/Redstone, this guy's son, had this basement bedroom, and..... rows and rows of sci-fi books.... I need some time alone........ before i continue....
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but yea seriously jack, my boss showed up at work today so i had ZERO computer access. if you hate your title i'll give you a new one.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I mention that I love that filename?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no fuck he can't choose. this shit just got posted today. today is my busy day. work from 9-4:30, class from 5-9:15.
His title is "The Hallway"
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have at least 3 friends who love Star Trek, Babylon 5, ALL that horrible, horrible shit. They KNOW it sucks, and they still love it. The are the same people who won't watch Unforgiven with me because "they don't like westerns". Fuckers.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:22:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-05 19:26:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Can I give Jack his title?
---
If you'd like to ease his suffering, go ahead.
Then if ghola shows up in a bit and offers another, he can choose.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:12:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what always bugged me about Star Trek? The sheer, unrelenting, balls-to-the-wall suckiness of the whole damn thing.
==========
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHHAHAHAA
My brother (the older, nerdier one) was a Trekkie. He would get very quiet when the show came on, very serious.
He once made the mistake of saying "Star Trek..the AWESOME FRONTIER" with me and my other brother in the room.
NERRRRRRRRRRDALERRRRRRRRRRRRRT
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93914#2169492
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what always bugged me about Star Trek? The sheer, unrelenting, balls-to-the-wall suckiness of the whole damn thing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what really bothered me about Star Trek: the Next Generation?
Those gay fucking sinks on the Enterprise. They were small and shiny and the water barely trickled out of the faucet. No real man would stand for that bullshit. When I turn on a tap I want water, goddamn it, not a weak piss-stream. And what about those sparkly fucking towels and blankets? That stuff looked scratchy as all shit.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-05 20:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell Jack, if I'd read the title that goferferhire had given me, I'd have given YOU "Boneyard" and him the title "A Dyke Named Midge"
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-05 20:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, haven't been online all day, busy with things.
Anansie, your title is "Idle Hands Are the Devil's Workshop"
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 20:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Big Mike, you best get thy ancient ass out here!!!
I need a title!!!
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-10-05 20:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:36:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Come, Reap"
---
*Wets her panties at the Gunslinger reference*
---
I walk about my daily life so completely uncharmed by women, that it's things as ordinary and obvious as this that remind me, "oh yeah, girls wear panties, and I like that."
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-05 20:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As one of The Forfeiting Nancies (I play lead guitar), I wish everyone good luck.
My competitor forfeiting was a Godsend to me, as it gave me a good excuse to bow out. Too many hours of work, a very sick dog, and a wife frantic about possibly losing our old dog, who will be 17 in February, if he makes it, all added up to more than an old fucker should have to bear.
Gimme something good to read in the wee hours when I can't sleep. You know how it is with the elderly....
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-05 19:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can I give Jack his title?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-05 19:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Joey, mein hombre, can I cut the "Mummy" from that title? You bastard.
Your title is "Your Funeral, My Trial".
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 19:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-05 19:06:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
goferhire title: Boneyard
--
I am seething with jealousy.
Seething.
If ghola gives me a girly title I feel I shall have no choice but to forcefully shit my pants.
Fuck this. I'm going home.
To eat my cake.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-05 19:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goferhire title: Boneyard
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 18:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anybody got a key to ghola's place?
She might have died. Toxoplasmosis. Self-inflicted stab wound. Who knows?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 18:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Connery voice*
This post is as dead as Julius Caesar.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 17:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just went to the deli around the corner and bought three big pieces of cake.
Chocolate cake. With chocolate icing.
God damn.
I have a real serious craving for cake.
When I get home that stuff is going to disappear in an orgy of mastication.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In other news:
Anansie -
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"
JoeyG -
Stagger_Lee -
redskieslookfake -
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear" (provided Jake was serious)
sicosemen - "Out of the Corner of Your Eye"
forensicgirl3 - "Seed of Treats" (?)
kaos_king -
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
HighVoltage900 - "Supper's Ready" "Fireside Song" "In The Wilderness" "Silent Sun" or "One-Eyed Hound"
AsshOly - "A By-the-Numbers Murder" "Derelicition" or "Screams Sound So Sweet"
Jack_McCallum -
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad - "Once More, With Feeling"
goferferhire -
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See, there is a reason you never give a clone any responsibility. They are terrible when it comes to making commitments.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My round two post will be about the conundrum of when you realize you've injured your member part way through sex/masturbation. You know you should stop because it will hurt a hell of a lot more when you aren't distracted by sexual feelings, but you don't want to because of said sexual feelings. Then you continue and finish to find that surprise! Your dick hurts like a mother fucker!
I'm gonna write about that. I can't figure out why no one else has.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll remind you on your latest post, then, crackalack.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet ya cash money that by the time ghola posts a title for me I will have forgotten this post even exists...
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so I was trying to think of a story when I gazed over at my sweatshirt sitting crumpled on the chair next to me. I thought to myself, "boy I could sure use some inspiration", when, in the folds, appeared the face of Jesus. Just so you know, my story for Round 2 will be the greatest literary achievement in the history of Man.
After that it's all downhill. I am to lose horribly in round 3. He says to concentrate on Ubermadness.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AHAHAHAHAAAA!!
Sorry. I just saw the filename on that picture.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apparently I have three heated posts.
WOO.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I imagine even if it was a crap title you could always just incorporate it into the ending in a really smooth, suave way:
"...and the creature stood before him at its full height. Its breath thick and hot against his skin. Its eyes white and wild. The fire grew all around them, the flames roaring. The creature howled. The man howled right back. They collided, a mess of limbs, and quickly painted one another with their blood.
The creature locked its lips around Frank's throat, its little fangs sinking in and opening a wound. Thankfully for Frank, he had shaved that morning and was careful to use Gilette shaving cream AND aftershave. For some reason his wife loved that sweet shit, and kept buying it for him. The creature inhaled the chemical stink on his skin, and choked and died.
Frank kicked the creature's corpse and spit in its eye.
His fingers touched his bloody neck and he chuckled to himself:
"Gilette...the best a man can get."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My story is almost done so she better give me a title that fits, gar-dammit.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:08:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
You're just itching to get this done, aintcha boy?
AINTCHA?
She's got until the end of the day to get you a title. She'll show up at some point, though I'm sure she's lurking in the shadows and sharpening her sword.
--
*sputters with impotent rage*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're just itching to get this done, aintcha boy?
AINTCHA?
She's got until the end of the day to get you a title. She'll show up at some point, though I'm sure she's lurking in the shadows and sharpening her sword.
Or the strain was more than she could bear, and she took her own life after (technically) losing to Jake.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If ghola is dead can I make up my own title?
Oh, yeah, it would be sad and all, but can I make up my own title?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-05 14:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 NO COMMENT
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-05 14:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:37:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck The Dark Tower. Just read The Stand again.
---------------------------------------------
Song of Susannah was the best in the Dark Tower series. The whole series was good right up until the fucked up ending. I spent 4 years of my life reading one book and waiting eagerly for the next, only to be screwed over royally.
But yeah, The Stand kicks ass, along with Insomnia and The Shining, of course. Goes without saying.
HEEEEEEEEEEERE'S.............. Stagger_Lee's tittle:
"Mummy, the Bad Man came again last night"
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:31:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Clive Barker's a fag.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --
Oh yeah, Barker's a flaming homosexual - doesn't mean he's not the most original horror author of the past 25 years.
C'mon, "The Hellbound Heart" , "Coldheart Canyon" , "The Damnation Game" , "Weaveworld" and "The Thief Of Always" ????
Dear Zombie Christ, "The Books of Blood 1-3" , "In The Flesh" , "The Inhuman Condition" and "Cabal" ???
See... now I've worked myself into having an erection...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oy vey
Ok then.
Gosh, I may have to get drunk to come up with something for that whacked out title.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to write a story for ubermadness AND this by tuesday? FUCK. WEEP.
HV, I'm going to go look up song titles.
Okay, I dont know who The Genesis is/are, but the song titles you can choose from are "Supper's Ready", "Fireside Song", "In The Wilderness", "Silent Sun", and "One-Eyed Hound".
Have fun kicking my ass.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, I'm being serious. Jeez, are all you pricks up tight all the time or do ever losed the girdle? For fucks sake...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahhaa, I'm still laughing at this... I can just imagine, here let me paint this picture for you: Forensigash is sitting behind her computer screen, rubbing her gash thinking about me, then logs into ubersite. She gets real excited about her title, sees "Prick Her Treat" and gets nostril-flared mad, cries to O, who is also rubbing his balloon knot thinking about me.
Okay, that was getting boring...this is still funny tho...your real title as said is "Seed of Treats"
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seed of treats? Alllrighty then.
Is he being serious? I can't tell now. He seems to have this thing about treats.
<whine> Orgasmatron, my oponent is being totally Teh Ghey! </whine>
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:34:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
are you kidding me? Prick Her Treat?
---
If you don't receive a legitimate title, I or someone else can provide one for you.
Give the lady a proper title, Predator.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come on, I'm joking, calm down...you get pretty worked up over this.
Let's see, this isn't a fake title, I promise: "Seed of Treats"
That's it, you must like it, or if you real want you can do "Gruesome Twosome: How I Got Fucked by an Anvil" your choice.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
are you kidding me? Prick Her Treat?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:25:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you like The Dark Tower series, I recommend book 1 and 2 of "Imajica" by Clive Barker as well as "The Great And Secret Show" and its sequel "Everville." "Come and sail the Sea of Quiddity in the mind of God's reality."
===
TGASS & Everville are amazing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SOMEBODY give ghola a fuckin wake-up call!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, I'll stop joking, for real your title is: "Prick Her Treat"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:25:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:34:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:28:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it weird that I LOVED King and Straub's book "Black House" but I absolutely HATE the Dark Tower series???
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Wow. Really? Wow. I don't know how to feel about you now, Kaos, my friend.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I find the concept brilliant, but the characters very lacking. Roland is the most 2-dimentional individual King ever created.
If you like The Dark Tower series, I recommend book 1 and 2 of "Imajica" by Clive Barker as well as "The Great And Secret Show" and its sequel "Everville." "Come and sail the Sea of Quiddity in the mind of God's reality."
--
CLive Barker's a fag.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay forensigash, your title is "Jack-O-Lantern Filled With Skittles"
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:34:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:28:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it weird that I LOVED King and Straub's book "Black House" but I absolutely HATE the Dark Tower series???
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Wow. Really? Wow. I don't know how to feel about you now, Kaos, my friend.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I find the concept brilliant, but the characters very lacking. Roland is the most 2-dimentional individual King ever created.
If you like The Dark Tower series, I recommend book 1 and 2 of "Imajica" by Clive Barker as well as "The Great And Secret Show" and its sequel "Everville." "Come and sail the Sea of Quiddity in the mind of God's reality."
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, Semendude, yours is "Out of the corner of your eye."
Suck it, Beotch.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck Jacko
now what's my title
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:08:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I called it already, do I need to repeat myself, you fucking Mouli--not to be confused with Ghoulie--. My previous title stands. I want a scary story with Jacko in it. I want to be frightened. You, you, and you are all Sand Niggers.
Hey, hi, how you doing?
Good.
Very good, please come again.
But wait, I have a sandy vagina.
No, you go.
Please let me fornicate with frogs.
Something weird just happened.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for Domenad-
"Once More, With Feeling"
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In other news:
Anansie -
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"
JoeyG -
Stagger_Lee -
redskieslookfake -
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear" (provided Jake was serious)
sicosemen -
forensicgirl3 -
kaos_king -
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
HighVoltage900
AsshOly - "A By-the-Numbers Murder" "Derelicition" or "Screams Sound So Sweet"
Jack_McCallum -
ghola - "All the Little Pretty Ones"
domenad -
goferferhire -
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the FUCK is ghola?
I need a title!
I want to get this thing done TODAY!
I'll set aside 20 minutes or so to crank one out.
And then I'll write my story.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kaos - did you just not get into the series as a whole, or did you not like how certain bits of it went?
In other news:
Anansie -
Axolotl - "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"
JoeyG -
Stagger_Lee -
redskieslookfake -
fluffy_love - "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear" (provided Jake was serious)
sicosemen -
forensicgirl3 -
kaos_king -
Bigmike - "The Men With Black Hats" or "The Graveyard of Carnivals"
HighVoltage900
AsshOly - "A By-the-Numbers Murder" "Derelicition" or "Screams Sound So Sweet"
Jack_McCallum -
ghola -
domenad -
goferferhire -
Orgasmatron - "The Shrine of the Ancients"
JMG114 - "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck The Dark Tower. Just read The Stand again.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:28:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it weird that I LOVED King and Straub's book "Black House" but I absolutely HATE the Dark Tower series???
--
Agreed, to a point. Book 1, boring. Book 2, THE BEST of the series. Book 3, okay. 4/5/6/ okay. The finale? As King would say, it shit the bed.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:28:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it weird that I LOVED King and Straub's book "Black House" but I absolutely HATE the Dark Tower series???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow. Really? Wow. I don't know how to feel about you now, Kaos, my friend.
Besides, "The Talisman." is superior to "Black House." In fact, I'd venture to say that the only reason "Black House" was written was to tie Jack's world with the Gunslinger's. I may be talking out of my ass, however.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it weird that I LOVED King and Straub's book "Black House" but I absolutely HATE the Dark Tower series???
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:17:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:11:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and someone's Ubertine's title is going to be Come-come-commala.
---
I'd take that title on in February, if you took "(There Will Be) Water if God Wills It."
If we make it through this round and wind up paired together, you're totally getting "Roont."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fookin' A on both.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:14:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
What the FUCK-
I thought my shithole entry (should I rephrase that?) meant I was OUT of this stupid, stupid, stupid competition so I could concentrate on UberMadness. I mean, what gaping asshole came up with this whole Gooberfest thing in the first place?
Fuck!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ahahahah. Dork.
Oh shit. This reminds me. I have to find someone to interview. Fuckadilly.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's what you get for wearing panties Kim-Kim-Kimmala.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Title Time!
Ghola, I'll go easy on you, cause you are a girl and all. And I don't want to get the shit beat out of me by a girl.
Your title...
All the Little Pretty Ones
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:11:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and someone's Ubertine's title is going to be Come-come-commala.
---
I'd take that title on in February, if you took "(There Will Be) Water if God Wills It."
If we make it through this round and wind up paired together, you're totally getting "Roont."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the FUCK-
I thought my shithole entry (should I rephrase that?) meant I was OUT of this stupid, stupid, stupid competition so I could concentrate on UberMadness. I mean, what gaping asshole came up with this whole Gooberfest thing in the first place?
Fuck!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look, O, I know you are trying to get me to soak my panties some more, but the truth is, I threw them at the monitor at the first reference. So, your attempts are in vain, my friend.
Oh, and someone's Ubertine's title is going to be Come-come-commala.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The woman lies!
She departs for Lud, upon Blaine the Mono, to see the Tick-Tock Man!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Axolotl, I'm going to the beach this weekend, so if you could give me a title as soon as possible, that would be greeeaaat, mmmmkay?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, I do that every day. Just ask my neighbors. What's left of them.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:35:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I combine the three?
"Unearthed! Come reap the lump."
---
"Reap the unearthed lump-come."
"Come lump, reap the unearthed!"
The choice is yours, my good man. Any of the three, or the monstrosity of their fusion (fusion fusion).
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:36:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
*Wets her panties at the Gunslinger reference*
---
Don't get in a Dark Tower frenzy and start whipping 'rizas at people today.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos-King VS BigMike???
Oh Noes!!1!!!!!!1!!1!!!!one!!!!
Mr. Mike, sir... I humbly present to you a choice of two titles. Either...
"The Men With Black Hats" or,
"The Graveyard of Carnivals"
I've had both titles in my skull for quite some time, but I've never been able to come up with anything solid for them. I would be honored to see you take either of them and create something both wonderful and horrific.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn it I have to think of a new story in 5 days? Curses! Look at my user history! I haven't been producing anything in less than a week and a half period!
Uhm okay Assholy, your titles are between "A by the numbers murder" "Derelicition" "Screams sound so sweet" "This is how the world ends"
O-man you may have escaped utter defeat at my hand for now, but don't you dare get knocked out! I'm coming after you.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Come, Reap"
---
*Wets her panties at the Gunslinger reference*
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I combine the three?
"Unearthed! Come reap the lump."
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JMG, the choice is yours: "Unearthed" "Come, Reap" or "The Lump"
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since Dan forfeited, I'm just going to recycle the titles I gave him. Axo, choose between "A Pulse and a Shriek" or "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest."
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like such a dick, and I apologize. It was just bad timing for me and the real world had to take precedence. Is there any way you could forgive me and start answering your phone calls and knocks on the door at 3 in the morning?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forensigumby, you are going down.....
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great job, Forensic! You rock the block.
My title for O-tron: The Shrine of the Ancients
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really want my opponent to write "And that's why the French don't wash."
But will instead select, with care, "Silver bullets, holy water and steel wool underwear"
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOO. I mean WOO.
As far as matchups go, redskies and ghola were my favorite in round one.
ghola vs Jack- sweet.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, but ghola totally lost to redskies.
Yes she did.
Yes she did.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FIRST REVIEW