We Didn't Start The Fire - Axolotl's Prize Winning Lyrics (1510 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicLabels: captainthorns_music
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Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2006-10-09 08:36:44 EDT
As most of you have probably forgotten by now, our good chap Davros hosted a little Ubercontest of sorts back in July to see who could write the best set of lyrics to update Billy Joel's triple Grammy nominated song of 1989 "We Didn't Start the Fire" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/90722).
The grand prize for the winner: an unworn Toxico T-shirt and a recording of the song with the new lyrics included by yours truly.
Our beloved youngblood Uberite Axolotl, who submitted the winning entry (okay, the ONLY entry), picked up exactly where Mr. Joel left off, starting around 1990 and ending in 2006. (Ax's submission post - http://www.ubersite.com/m/90737)
Yeah, it's been a few months since the contest ended, but I always make good on my promises. So it's finally done.
(Axolotl - I did have to massage a few words and drop a couple of lines to make flow and rhyming more coherent - please don't kill me.) :-)
<tympani roll>
Therefore, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AND APOLLO! I GIVE TO YOU THE 2006 GRAMMY AWARD WINNING COLLABORATION OF BILLY JOEL AND AXOLOTL!
<fanfare>
Original lyrics:
--------------------------------------
Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe
Rosenbergs, H Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye
Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen
Maciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dancron
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge On The River Kwai
Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkwether, Homicide, Children of Thalidomide
Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia
Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go
U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Hemingway, Eichman, Stranger in a Strange Land
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion
Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson
Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex
J.F.K. blown away, what else do I have to say
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan
Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and Roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
New lyrics:
--------------------------------------
Russian communism's fall
Noriega, Berlin wall
Mike Tyson, Hubble space, merging of Time Warner
Mad cow, Iraq
Exxon Valdez, Gorbachev
Chunnel, Sadaam Hussein, convicted Poindexter
Desert Storm, air strikes
Yeltsin, Dahmer, Nevermind
Magic Johnson, World Wide Web, Moms Against Drunk Driving
Pete Rose cheating
Rodney King's beating
Warsaw Pact, Soviets, Freddie Mercury
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Boutros-Boutros Ghali
EU and John Gotti
Invasion of Somalia, defeated Ross Perot
Buttafuoco, Serbia
Fischer, Yugoslavia
Bush is beat by Clinton and Dan Quayle's potato
Jiang Zemin, Reno
Letterman, Waco
Unabomber, Brady Bill, New York Mafia
Inauguration, River Phoenix
World Trade Center terrorists
John Bobbitt, splitting up Czechoslovakia
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
White trash skater Tonya Harding
Lion King, Tupac's departing
Whitewater, NAFTA, Rwanda genocide
Election of Mandela
O.J.'s killing, Chechnya
John Wayne Gacy, Alzheimer's, end of Apartheid
Massacre at Srebenica
OK City, Bosnia
Tim McVeigh, memorials, nerve gas in Japan
Gloves don't fit, Fuhrman,
Kato Kaelin, Goldman
Million Man, Nintendo, Louis Farrakhan
Arafat, cell phones
Deep Blue, Dolly cloned
Michael Jordan, JonBenet, Rent and John Larson
Tupac killed, Atlanta bombed
Kaczynski and Simpsons
Internet, Netscape, launch of the Onion
Bill Clinton back again
Hong Kong, boy bands
Albright, Britney Spears, Mother Theresa
Khmer Rouge, Hale-Bopp
McLibel, Biggie shot
eBay, al-Fayed and Princess Diana
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Vast right-wing conspiracy
Bin Laden's embassy
Monica, McGwire, John Glenn, Jonesboro
Viagra, sex scandal
N Sync, Google, Seinfeld
Charlton Heston's NRA, stormy El Nino
Euros, Kosovo
Amadou Diallo
Y2K, Star Wars, Earth has six billion
Columbine, impeachment
Dreamcast disappointment
Armstrong, Melissa and Jack Kevorkian
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Eminem, Elian
Time Warner merge again
Technology, XP, and Y2K a bore
Tech bubble boom collapse
For Charles Schultz we played Taps
Antitrust, Hillary, was it Bush or Gore?
Mir falls, Bush elected
Anthrax in mail detected
9/11 terror, we invade Afghanistan
Earnhardt, Enron
Andrea Yates the killer mom
Gary Condit, Peter Jackson, and the Taliban
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Colin Powell, Iraq War
Baghdad, al-Nasiriya
Sadaam Hussein is captured, Homeland Security
Decapitation, shock and awe
In Baghdad Saddam's statue falls
Mission Accomplished, Iyad Allawi
Christ's Passion, Beslan
2004 Election
John Kerry, Swift Boats, Guantanamo and Dean
iPods, Bird Flu
Legal same-sex marriage too
Abu Ghairab, Fallujah, beheadings, tsunami
John Paul and Cochran dies
Terri Schiavo's family cries
Bush, Katrina, Scooter Libby
World Cup is a bore
In Israel growing peace
Until Hezbollah strikes at least
Deaths in Mumbai, Mid-East war, I can't take it any more!
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Billy Joel and Axolotl - We Didn't Start the Fire.mp3 (8 MB) [audio/mpeg]
User Reviews
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-09 15:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-10-09 14:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' A....
...that rocked.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-09 14:52:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-09 13:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CZECK'SLOVAK-IA!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-09 13:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always loved that song.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-09 11:24:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Im going to track down axolotl, kidnap him, clone him, kill him and keep the clone in a jar in my kitchen so I can question him and suck his thought meats out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-10-09 10:15:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
axolotl's too smart. i think i should take a trip and dumb him down with a shovel for a few minutes. then he'll only be like twice as smart as the rest of us combined.
==========
weep. My thought meats are on sale for free, anyway.
Brilliant post.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-10-09 12:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT took some effort. Well done.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-10-09 11:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great.
Nice feat there. This is the kind of ambition we need around here.
And by "around here", I mean earth.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-09 11:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mucho splendido!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-09 11:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im going to track down axolotl, kidnap him, clone him, kill him and keep the clone in a jar in my kitchen so I can question him and suck his thought meats out.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-10-09 10:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
axolotl's too smart. i think i should take a trip and dumb him down with a shovel for a few minutes. then he'll only be like twice as smart as the rest of us combined.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-09 10:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now do Piano Man!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-10-09 09:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stands...claps.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-10-09 09:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done CT, Well done.....
<starts clap>
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-09 09:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'M NOT LISTENING TO ALL THAT
OK..fine..you know I did.
Nice work, Cap'n.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-09 09:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome work as ever.
-Dave
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-09 08:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers Thorns.
Just downloading now.
9 minutes, bloody hell
-Dave
Submitted by sealclubber (user info) at 2006-10-09 08:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
coo
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-09 08:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I should have mentioned...this song is now very LONG. Tops out at 9:42.
A great DJ bathroom break song.