Last Exit to Babylon (954 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.11 on 117 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-09 16:20:22 EDT
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Entry 1
- VS -
Entry 2
"Well Gordon what do you think?"The question was aimed at Gordon's back. He had been standing, hands clasped behind his back, staring transfixed out the window for an interminable amount of time. The sound of Flint's voice seemed to jolt him back to reality.
"What do I think? What do I think?" Gordon said pacing back and forth agitatedly, "I think this guy is a real nutter that's what I think, certifiably bat shit insane. I think that we are ruined and that you and I in particular are going down in flames for handing over that eight million dollar advance on this script."
Gordon flopped dejectedly into a leather chair beside the fireplace and sighed, "I also think that everything he's ever given us has been an automatic blockbuster that's what I think. I blame myself for this. I was so happy to find a screenwriter who didn't feel the need to interject himself into every aspect of the process that it didn't occur to me that there might be something going on other than a reclusive genius with the keen ability to churn out hits."
"So what are we going to do, are we going to make this movie?"
"Are we going to, wait a minute did you just ask if we're going to make this movie? You read the script. The supreme god of ancient Egypt offs his grandmother and uses her body to create the earth? Of course there is the issue of her being both his maternal and paternal grandmother what with his parents being brother and sister. No we can't make this movie; incest, matricide, whores, idol worship, hell why don't we toss in some bestiality and necrophilia, just go ahead and end our careers right now."
"I don't think Hollywood has ever had a problem with whores and it's Babylon", countered Flint.
"What", demanded Gordon.
"It's ancient Babylon not Egypt. All of his movies have been based on various legends and myths and as you know, they have all been big blockbusters. So tell me Gordon where do you keep all those Oscars you've won for directing his movies?"
"I know I know Flint but this is over the top. Just take a look out that window and tell me this is anything other than complete madness."
"Ok, he's a bit eccentric I give you that. This festival going on outside certainly makes Burning Man look like Sesame Street, but clearly he has a following."
"Oh yea quite a following. That much I can see. What about this butler of his, Youel is it? I have a butler, most of my friends have butlers and none of them are quite uh well quite as.."
"Loyal?" suggested Youel helpfully sweeping into the room carrying a formal tea service. "I'm not a butler, I am his Lord Marduk's high priest, but my duties are quite varied. The festival you have no doubt noticed on the grounds is, of course, Akitu. Think of it as a New Years party. Tea and sugar?"
"Yes why not" said Gordon curiously eyeing the white robe clad Youel. "So tell me, this New Years festival, Akitu you called it? It involves Lord Marduk engaging in some rather public sex with gosh is that young lady the fabled whore of Babylon?"
"Istar" nodded Youel, "but she is merely playing the roll of Istar, a stand in much like the use of a male human baby in the typical Christian nativity scenes."
"Sure Gordon" added Flint, "see she's not the real Istar that would be silly. Just a stand in, that's all." Gordon glared at Flint who turned to watch the festivities on the grounds. "Although from the looks of things, quite a talented stand in. Take a look Gordon, she certainly seems enthusiastic."
"We all live to serve and serve to live" said Youel, "but of course Lord Marduk actually is Lord Marduk the Supreme God."
"I see" Flint said slowly moving away from the window.
"His Lord said the two of you are unbelievers. Some of us find that a bit odd but it is not our place to question his Lordship. He also said that you had certain concerns about his latest movie script you wanted to discuss?"
Flint looked at Gordon to see what he was thinking, but Gordon was staring at the flames in the fireplace and not making any move to speak.
"Well you see Youel, we have some concerns about the graphic nature of the script. If we make this movie as written, we fear it will not make it past the sensors. While we're not trying to turn out Disney cartoons here, this script is heading for a solid, indisputable X rating, limited openings, protests, letter writing campaigns, boycott threats, all sorts of bad noise. I'm afraid that the mainstream American public just lacks the...openness of the society you seem to have created out here."
Flint glanced at Gordon who looked up, nodded slightly and turned back towards the fireplace.
"I see" said Youel thoughtfully, "of course the morality of the American public is about to face an abrupt change. I don't think this will be a problem. Why don't you go ahead and start filming. Keep us informed of your progress, we will adjust our timetable to match."
"Oh sure" Gordon said, "Why didn't I think of that. We'll just film it anyway and run it right on up the proverbial flag pole. Say Youel you kids don't happen to have anything stronger than tea to drink around here do you?"
For just a split second Youel's face showed the slightest flash of irritation before returning to his normal blank mask of control. Then he sighed and sat down in one of the chairs opposite Gordon. Flint watched the motion and it occurred to him that although it seemed very casual and normal, something about it was just out of place. The same thing occurred to him when Youel brought them tea earlier. It was almost like watching a CGI, everything looked a bit ill proportioned.
Then slowly, Youel leaned forward, trained his intense brown eyes on Gordon, and started talking, "I realize that to an unbeliever, this must all seem very strange but I assure you that everything is under control. Lord Marduk has been planning this moment for thousands of years starting from the moment he lost his power to the God of the Jewish slaves. Imagine how that must have been for him, usurped by a slave god especially one who has failed over and over to protect his people. You must admit, the Judeo-Christian God is nothing if not aloof.
Lord Marduk has been drawing his people to him. You've had a hand in it. Maybe you didn't realize it, but the movies you've been making have been more than just the usual sort of mindless entertainment so typical of Hollywood. These movies show people a better way, the true way. The ones who see the truth come to him, they pledge themselves to him. Look outside right now. These are his followers. They have been coming to him for years and always he watched and waited for the time, the perfect time and that time is now.
Once again, Lord Marduk has sleighed the dragon. Not a literal dragon, a figurative dragon, THE dragon. Once this fact is revealed then all will know he is the true Supreme God, the one who will protect them and they will follow the others. The morality you are so concerned with will seem archaic and quaint upon the enlightening. Now if you will excuse me, I have festival related duties to which I must attend. Perhaps Lord Marduk should personally explain things to you further."
Gordon and Flint watched wide eyed as Youel swept from the room silently before either of them could say a word. Together as if drawn by an invisible force, they both walked to the window and took in the scene below. Lord Marduk and his consort "Istar" had finished their stage show and were standing together taking in the cheers of the adoring crowd. As Flint and Gordon watched, Youel walked purposefully towards the pair, slapped them both across the face, and handed Lord Marduk what looked like a large glass scepter. Lord Marduk held the scepter over his head, released a primal sounding yell, and as the crowd cheers reached a thunderous crescendo, nodded knowingly in their direction.
Released from the spell, Flint and Gordon turned from the window. Behind them on the table where the tea service had been was a large bottle of brandy and two sifters. Nothing surprised Gordon anymore. He filled the sifters and raised his glass, "to our next movie, to the Last Exit to Babylon. Flint old boy, I get the feeling that things are just about to get interesting."
Entry 1:
Adamdidit2u
Antioxident
BadAssJulie
BananaPhone
darko
Davood
EchoBoxing
ELG
extacy_red
FilthyAssistant
ghola
GodtheFather
goferforhire
gravitas
HighVoltage900
Impassive-Digressive
JonnyX
kybernetikum
Method
Norman
Pentameter
Phallic_Cymbals
satchel
Sepsis
sicosemen
Sinistral
supadupapupa
UnderOathMeal
Wiggles
28 eligible votes (29 total) *
Entry 2:
Amontillado
awesome_face
Axolotl
Bellebrown
Bigmike
Bizdorph
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Bubba2341
calbearspolo
CaptainThorns
charminglybeef
Chroniclysm
Circe
Coleslaw_Murphy
coley
Coyote
Cracked_out_cali
Crystle
Davros
domenad
DrogoRoch
FunnyAsCancer
Genko
GetNakeddd
GodChicken
helbling
Hirilnara
HotWillie
indoninja
intellismartness
Jack_McCallum
jgreening
JMG114
joedaddy
JoeyG
JulsInsane
justagirl27
kaos-king
kimmy02721
lechuza
littledan
loki
LT
Magicaddict
maiorano84
MandaPanda
morontian
NerfHerder
Orgasmatron
peckerhead
phuzzygish
polyamorousaj
rad1101
Razor
redskieslookfake
Sacrilicious
Serious_Melvin
Shaun_Rocks
Shlongy
simple_catalyst
Siren
Soley_Trinity
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
St_Jimmy
Stagger_Lee
stevie_says
strwbryfanatic
The_taste_of_Monkeys
thedominator
thorpe
tinactin
67 eligible votes (72 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No contest whatsoever.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Blfs voted for #1.....
blfs = BRAINLESS FUCKS!!! Frickin' morons!!!!!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pic vs writing? Oh wow!!!!
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-10-12 09:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davood (user info) at 2006-10-12 04:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for the amazing pic
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-10-12 01:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was tempted to vote for #1, but #2 was much better.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-10-12 01:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
tottemo meh
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 00:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The story's not my typical cup of tea, but it absolutely beats Hitler in Headphones.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-10-11 17:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-10-11 11:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-11 10:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did that picture have ANY relevance?
The story was okay, though it left me a little confused.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-10-11 09:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had to vote for entry 1 based on one word in entry 2 - "sleighed."
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
If you can't spell, as someone to look at it for you, ok?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:04:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaa, loki sucks
____________
coward
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes Comment.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oui
Submitted by kybernetikum (user info) at 2006-10-11 07:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-10-11 05:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hitler is good. Yes. Well, not good - but that particular Hitler was entertaining...
But I vote 2. It was more gooder than Hitler.
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-10-11 02:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wanted to vote for number 1, but number 2 is probably my favourite serious entry in the contest so far, and, lets face it, number 1 had nothing to do with the title beyond the filename.
So yeah, filenames suck.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-11 02:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thedominator (user info) at 2006-10-11 02:07:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:36:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hitler always gets my vote
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-10 21:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-10-10 21:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaa, loki sucks
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:43:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
I love it when I dont have to read any pretensious posts.
----------
lol
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love it when I dont have to read any pretensious posts.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-10-10 16:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-10-10 15:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-09 22:49:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Given all the people who apparently DON"T want to be in this contest, I find it amazing we had such fits about how to select the participants.
====
No fucking shit.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-10-10 15:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, that's it. That's the final fucking straw.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-10-10 14:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no shame in forfeiting, #1
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 2 was interesting.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hated #2, but I voted for it.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't like Hitler
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fucking fuck?
are you cunty shitters even taking this seriously?
a million -2s to the person that did entry 1, once its revealed
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of the few matchups I'm happy to vote on without reading them both. Not that there's anything wrong with a single picture post really but it has to be decent to come into consideration.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dancing hitler is an awesome touch.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2006-10-10 11:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Round two ftw.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-10 11:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK...Who's the fucking turdbomb?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-10-10 11:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lesser of two evils.
It's snifter, not sifter.
You only won because Entry 1 was lazy.
Submitted by helbling (user info) at 2006-10-10 11:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-10 10:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 Did make me spit my coffee on my keyboard, but that was due to the music on the radio having exactly the right beat for Hitlers head.
#2 Gets the vote, it was well written and interesting.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-10 09:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-10 07:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I read Number 2 twice and I am still not sure what to think.
But I can't vote for the picture.
-Dave
Submitted by LT (user info) at 2006-10-10 06:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-10 06:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I know I'm going to be the only one who voted for it. Can't say it didn't cost me - but this is about writing. It must be.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-10-10 04:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-10 02:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Neither.
If 1 had submitted almost anything of substance, anything at all, it would have gotten my vote. I just couldn't read past all of 2's adjectives.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-10 01:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-09 22:49:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Given all the people who apparently DON"T want to be in this contest, I find it amazing we had such fits about how to select the participants.
People get in and then they find out they have to write.
Under a time limit no less.
Some of these entries are just, well, unforgivable I guess.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must admit I didn't finish entry 2 and hence missed a lot of spelling errors, which is good becausethey drive me nuts; but I'd have voted for 2 anyway.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it quite a bit, author 2. good job. :)
Could use more commas and semicolons, etc to break up some of the sentences though. But good.
"author" 1: ha.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-09 23:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-09 23:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 thank you for that picture
#2 'agitatedly' (wtf)
movie 'sensors' (censors)
'sleighed' the dragon (slain or slayed)
There are a LOT of shitty writers in this contest.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-09 23:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate when I review instead of voting
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-09 23:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-10-09 22:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, who's for single-elimination?
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-10-09 22:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-09 22:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Given all the people who apparently DON"T want to be in this contest, I find it amazing we had such fits about how to select the participants.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-09 21:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Babylon is a town of about 200,000 people in western Suffolk County, New York, which includes the village of Amityville. I'm just sayin' is all.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-09 21:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 - Funny, but for UM??? No.
#2 - Of course, I adore the idea of this story. However, the amount of spelling and grammar mistakes really let me down during the read. You lucked out going against the other entry...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-09 20:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
After seeing Entry 1, I really only skimmed Entry 2. The dialogue is not so good. Nobody talked like that, nobody talks like that, nobody will ever talk like that.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-10-09 20:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Animated?!?!?! Mine's not animated!!! Sorry, but #2 still gets it.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-10-09 20:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't believe this many people are dropping out already.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BananaPhone (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was going to vote for #2 until I saw this.
"sleighing the dragon"
And so, my children, that is how the great Babylonian God-king captured the fierce dragon, chained him to his +15 vorpal sleigh of Present-Smiting, and became the great Santa Claus of his time.
For. Fuck's. Sake. Of all the words to screw up on, you had to make it sound completely ridiculous.
WOOOOO HEADBANGING HITLER WOOOOOO
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I came very close to voting for an animated gif. #2 had a great idea, but the quality of grammar was awful. If I formatted poorly last round, then so did this.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Screw Hitler, short stories get what they want cause they earned it
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Clearly a lot of effort went into Entry two, but I didn't enjoy it.
The last Hitler to Hytleron however is still making me giggle like an idiot.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't even have to read #2 to know that I was voting for #1.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah...
Auto-#2.
I know you got stuck with a shitty title, but cmon. Hitler gif?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From what I can tell, entry #2 was either a brilliantly scathing commentary on the media's effects on social, political, and theological mores, or it wasn't.
Either way.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-09 19:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-09 18:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I laughed.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-09 18:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
author 1 just shit on author 2's dick
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-09 18:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
author 2 should file this match-up under 'f' for fucking destroyed.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-09 18:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm getting sick of this already.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-09 18:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 18:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:43:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
"slayed" and "Sleighed" are not the same word.
--
Unless you are nine years old and your best friend in the world is run down by Santa and his reindeer and cut into twitching chunks of meat right before your eyes.
True story.
Honest.
Fuckin' Santa.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 was kinda strange, but reasonably well-written.
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 - if you win, next time pay much much more attention to spelling and punctuation.
"slayed" and "Sleighed" are not the same word.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't like the picture in number 2.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:33:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, this had to be done.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well i be dammed, i forgot to vote
AND THEN, i somehow involuntarily pushed the wrong # the second time around!
musta been my conscience
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i'm sorry #2...i swear to God i'm sorry
i hope you have a loss to give because i really needed a laugh today
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as good as a forfeit I suppose
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Norman (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodtheFather (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-10-09 17:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Guess it would be fair voting on the one that obviously took effort...even though I had to struggle to get through it.
+2 for Hitler
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't even read most of entry 2 but entry 1 is a fucking asshat.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, the heinous nature of #1 was worth if just for this reply...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:23:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
We all know what happens when you vote for Hitler....
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coinflip.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry #2 could have been better with more time to put meat on the bones, but it was one hell of a great spin on the title.
Author #1, what the hell ,man?
Submitted by ELG (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is for the spellng errors. Nothing pisses me off more. Except Shlongy but that's in a good way.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
FÜCKEN-GRÜVEN!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, Author #2, great premise, SHITTY execution - grammar, punctuation, typos...the list goes on.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The grammar was terrible in #2, but at least it was an effort.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well ok then
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Do I even need to explain myself?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh dear god.
Commas (yes commas, please use them) go inside the " " when you're writing dialogue.
How hard is that? And that's only one of the grammactical problems.
I'm sorry, but I'm voting for that bobbing head, because it made me smile.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We all know what happens when you vote for Hitler....