Purity of Essence (163 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Genko (View user info) at 2006-10-09 21:25:14 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
Mike exhaled deeply and then drew a large breath of air through the straw in his nose. He leaned back away from the coffee table and tossed his head onto the couch.
"Pure, like you promised."
Mike's dealer smiled and passed him a bag.
"So I take it you're interested in more, then?"
"Sure. How do you get this stuff so pure, though? If you don't mind me asking."
"It's a long story, my friend." Mike's dealer laughed as he sipped his water and started into a story.
"I get my stuff from a dude named Kirk Johnson. He gets it from Colombia."
"Really? Right from the source, eh?"
"Yeah. This Johnson guy works alone though, so he can't really transport that much. What he does bring in is good, though."
"Isn't that a little risky for him?" Mike asked.
"Hell yeah, he gets strip searched all the time."
"He gets strip searched and still manages to get pounds and pounds of coke through customs?"
"Yep. You don't want to know how, though, man, it'll put you off the drug."
"Come on."
"Okay. Well, the dude's got...talents. He gets around the cavity search."
"What the fuck, dude? Who is this guy?"
"Kirk Johnson. You don't know him, but you may be familiar with the back of his scrotum."
"Oh god."
"Remember man, don't think about the source. This coke is the purest of essence. Just because it came to America in the goatse man's ass doesn't make it somehow tainted or bad."
"I'm never buying from you again."
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Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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