Grueberfest '06, Round Two: Seed of Treats (546 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Forensic the Tullian Zombie (View user info) at 2006-10-09 23:48:56 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93977
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'Here lies Rick Zillmer, asshole extraordinaire.'
Rick squinted into the sunset as he trudged up the side of the mountain. One week ago, he had begun a hiking vacation, an idea that now proved to be one of the lousiest he ever had. He had taken hiking trips before but never such a long one. Three and a half days was the longest he ever did. He was now on day 7; completely lost, starving, and dehydrated. He spent a day and a half of the last 7 up a tree and waiting for a bear to lose interest in his backpack and wander away. After ripping open his gear, what little perishables he had; candy bars, protein bars, peanut packs, and jerky, the bear consumed. A can of beans and one bottle of water was all he had left and he had to make that last until he reached civilization again. If he even made it that far. Unless he could figure out where he was and could get back on track, he might actually die out on this mountain.
Zill, as his friends called him, found a clearing and wearily set up his one man tent. Racing against the approaching night, he gathered small branches for a fire as quickly as his weakening body allowed him to. He managed to start an adequate blaze just before the darkness eliminated the world beyond his campsite. He wanted to zip himself into his sleeping bag and fall asleep until dawn, but he knew the gnawing hunger pains he felt wouldn't allow that. He reached a trembling hand into his backpack and pulled out the can of beans and his can opener.
'Just a quarter of the can. Just to let yourself sleep. Only a few sips of water too. Just to wet your mouth. No more.'
He wanted to ravenously devour the entire can as fast as he could swallow, but he forced himself to eat one spoonful at a time, chewing the red beans until they were a paste in his mouth. With another spoonful of the water from inside the can, he swallowed, imaging he was eating a rare Porterhouse steak. After gratefully eating one fourth of the beans, he capped the can with a plastic lid and tucked it back away in his pack and strung the pack up a tree to spare the last of his food from scavenging animals. Zipping himself into his sleeping bag inside his pup tent, he drifted off while watching the firelight dance on the sides of the tent.
'You better pray hard, you idiot, or you'll die out here.'
The pain of stiff and sore muscles and hunger awoke Zill more than the morning light. With a heavy sigh, Zill unzipped his sleeping bag and began to pack up camp. He wished he could have a few more spoonfuls of beans to start the day off, but he decided against it. No, he would wait until he set up camp. Once he was packed up, he again started his slow ascent up the mountainside.
He hadn't realized that the day was almost gone when he stopped for another rest. All day he had slowly hiked and rested. He was so weak now that he had to stop every 2 or 3 miles to let his starving body rest a little. On this final breather, he thought that he was beginning to hallucinate because he smelled wood smoke, as if from a chimney. When the smell became stronger, he realized that this was no hallucination. Someone was close! With a newfound strength and hope, Zill jumped up and followed the scent.
After walking another mile, Zill finally saw smoke rising up to the sky. Oh dear God thank you! People! Grinning and panting, he broke out into a jog until he found the cabin nestled on the mountainside. He stood for a moment blinking at it. As he leaned against the tree and laughing from gratitude, his body rebelled at the sudden strain he put it under when he forced it to run. He was going to faint. Zill sank to his knees and fought against blacking out. No, not until someone saw him, please! As if to answer his wish, a woman exited the cabin with a basket of wet clothing and started to walk in his direction.
"Ma'am..." Zill called out as he lay down on the ground. His eyes were beginning to close beyond his control.
"Oh my!" the woman exclaimed as she dropped the basket and ran over to Zill who flopped on his back. Zill weakly smiled as he felt the woman's arms cradle him and let sleep overtake him.
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Consciousness came to Zill in pieces; first he became aware that he was no longer asleep, then he remembered coming upon the mountain cabin and being rescued, and finally he realized that he was in someone's home and he was being watched. Opening his eyes and rubbing them, he looked around the room. It was a very small, simple room with no windows. The only thing in the room was a crude folk painting of a cornucopia hanging on the wall, and of course, the bed he was lying in. When Zill turned his head to the side, there was a small face staring back at him. With a start, he sat up in bed at a 90 degree angle.
"My name is Cricket. What's yours?"
The little girl appeared to be 5 or 6 at most. Stringy light brown hair was like a mop on her head with a small section hanging over her left eye. Her tattered and patched dress was clean and hung on her like a sack; it looked to be handed down from an older child. She still had a year or two to fully grow into it. Her large, bright eyes peered at Zill with an innocent curiosity. How long had she been standing by the side of the bed while he slept? She had placed a battered stuffed bear next to Zill and was cradling another one in her arms.
"What's your name, Misser?" Cricket repeated.
"Uh, Zill...I mean, Rick Zillmer. Is this your family's house?" Zill was gathering the blanket around his waist in case he was naked.
"Helen Louise! Are you bothering that man?!"
The door to the bedroom swung open revealing a large, bearded man in the doorway. He was dressed in clothing 100 years out of date; plain brown pants, tea colored long sleeve shirt and suspenders. His face was wrinkled from the sun and he had the appearance of a man of the land who had spent many years working outdoors. He stepped into the room, approached the bed, and scooped up the child in his arms causing her to squeal with laughter. He threw her over his right shoulder and mock paddled her.
"Here's my noisy little bug! Here's my little cricket! Helen Louise, I hope you didn't wake our guest."
The man lowered the little girl back down to the floor and extended his hand towards Zill.
"Hello to you, I'm Joseph. It's good to see you awake finally. You've been asleep now for a day and a night. Cricket, go get our guest's clothes from your mother. Now, who do I have the pleasure of meeting, sir?"
"Rick Zillmer. Thank you so much for this! The last thing I remembered was a woman finding me. I was in trouble. I had gotten lost, a bear treed me and ate most of my food, and I really thought I was going to die. I can't thank you enough."
The little girl came back into the room and plopped Zill's clothes on the bed. They had been washed, ironed, and folded. Zill was embarrassed when he realized that someone had undressed him but was too grateful to dwell on it.
"My wife, Sarah, was who found you and she is most anxious to meet you and fill you with food. My daughter and I shall leave you so that you may get dressed. Please, make haste for we are about to eat supper and you need nourishment. Cricket, shall we go now and prepare a place for our guest at the table?"
With that the man and the little girl exited the room and shut the door behind them. Food! Zill practically leapt out of the bed and jumped into his clothes. As he pulled on his jeans, t-shirt, and pullover, he realized that he had been bathed as well and bandages had been applied to his many scrapes and cuts that he had acquired. He wanted to feel embarrassed again but brushed it off. His mouth watered with anticipation of eating a meal. He still felt weak but obviously that was going to change shortly. Using his fingers as a comb, he hurriedly groomed his hair, picked up Cricket's teddy bear and left the room.
Following the scent of food, Zill quickly found the family's dining room. Several people were already sitting around the long, plain, wood table. They turned their heads towards Zill and smiled. He noticed that like Joseph, everyone was dressed in outdated fashions. It was as if he had gone back in time to a more primitive era in American history. Joseph even talked like people did a long time ago.
"Hello." Zill said and stood awkwardly beside the table. Should he go ahead and sit or should he wait until his hosts instruct him? The people continued to look and smile. No one offered him a seat, nor did they speak to him. They just stared and beamed at him. Zill began to shift his weight from leg to leg. His eyes fell on baskets of bread and glass pitchers of water. Smelling the bread made him dizzy; he was so hungry. He wanted to jump on the table and start cramming bread into his mouth.
"Let's eat!" a pleasant female voice called from an adjoining room. Joseph, Sarah, 2 teenagers, one boy and one girl, walked into the dining room carrying large platters of food. Cricket trailed behind them carrying wooden spoons. They set plates of corn, potatoes, squash, carrots, turnips, green beans, peas, and mushrooms on the table. Zill quickly noticed that there was no meat. Maybe they'll bring it after they set the vegetables down, Zill thought. He didn't want to be ungrateful but his body was screaming for animal protein. After Sarah placed her platters on the table, she rushed up to Zill and embraced him tightly.
"Oh my, I'm so thankful you're still with us! Gracious but you gave me a fright when I spied you. Please, sit down! Now don't you fret, I'm going to feed you 'till you pop!" with that, she led him to a seat next to an old woman.
Zill sat on his hands to prevent them from grabbing all the food within his reach. As Joseph, Sarah, and the 2 teenagers took their places, Cricket wedged in between Zill and the old woman next to him. With a chuckle, the old woman scooted down on the bench to allow Cricket to climb up and sit next to Zill. Joseph leaned across the table and handed Zill a wooden spoon.
"As our guest, please help yourself first. As you can imagine, the food goes fast, especially with our numbers. Take as much as you want."
"Before I do, I think I have something that belongs to a very special friend of mine." Zill reached under his pullover where he had hidden Cricket's teddy bear.
"Thank you for letting me borrow your bear, Cricket. He made me feel LOTS better." Cricket smiled and took her bear from Zill's hands. As Zill lustfully spooned generous portions of everything edible he saw, Joseph started the introductions.
"Beside Helen Louise is my mother, Elizabeth, then my oldest Joseph Jr., beside him is Eli, next to Eli is Rebecca, then Ruth, Richard, Jonathan, Emily, and finally Sarah's father, Jonas. I forget how large of a family we are until I have to introduce everyone."
Zill was shoveling food into his mouth with both hands. He knew he was displaying appalling table manners but he couldn't help it and his hosts didn't seem to mind. In fact, except for one or two words each, the rest of those present at the table didn't say much of anything. It wasn't just because he was starving, but Zill couldn't believe how delicious and satisfying the vegetarian fare was. He forgot his regret of not having any meat because the huge Morel mushrooms were as hearty as any steak he had eaten. As if he were reading his thoughts, Joseph remarked;
"I do apologize for not serving you the meat you are accustomed to, but we do not eat the flesh of beasts. We are more than satisfied with that which grows from the Earth. The Lord does provide....."
"Treats!" interrupted Cricket.
"Yes Cricket. The Lord most certainly provides us with these delicious treats."
"I feel bad for even thinking about it." Zill responded. "Everything is so wonderful! I've never been much of a vegetable eater, but I could easily give up meat if I could eat like this all the time! I don't know if it's because I was so hungry, but I think these are the best tasting vegetables I've ever had in my life! I haven't had Morel mushrooms like these in years! They're certainly......"
"Treats!" Cricket again announced. Charmed, Zill chuckled and rubbed the top of Cricket's head.
"You're right, Cricket. The best treats I've EVER had too!"
Zill continued to eat until he filled his stomach and felt drowsy. He didn't feel like he was starving anymore and began to turn down offers of more helpings of food. Sarah hopped up from the table and disappeared into the kitchen. A few seconds later, she returned with spice cake and insisted that Zill eat some. Well now, desert was a different matter altogether! Zill gobbled down a large piece of spice cake and was just about to reach for his water glass when his head crashed down on his now empty plate.
__________________________________________________________
A stabbing pain in his head awoke Zill. It was black where he was now and he didn't feel the bed under him. He couldn't feel anything at all except the hardness under the back of his head. He tried to move, but it felt as if he had no body. He couldn't sit up, or roll over, or even crawl. Panicking, he began to scream. There was a terrible smell choking him too. The deep breaths he took to fill his lungs made him want to vomit from the stench. A door opened above him, as if he were down in a cellar and heavy footsteps descended on the stairs. Joseph's face appeared over him.
"I want to apologize to you again, sir. You weren't supposed to awaken, you see. I would never dream of deliberately doing that to you. Usually breaking the neck and the drug my wife puts in the cake allows for a more humane passing."
"WHERE AM I?! WHAT'S GOING ON?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! I CAN'T MOVE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
Light from a lamp that Joseph lit flooded the room. As Zill's eyes adjusted to it, he saw that he was indeed in a cellar-like room with dirt for walls. Since he couldn't lift his head, he strained his eyes to look as far to each side as he could. He opened his mouth and began to scream again when he saw decomposing bodies heaped in a pile or stretched out with mushrooms growing out of their torsos and eye sockets.
"I've never had to say this so forgive me if I bungle it. I want to thank you, Rick Zillmer. Thank you for becoming the nourishment for my crops. Mountain soil makes it difficult to grow enough food to feed your family. Those that went before you fed my crops well, which in turn fed my family well. I have always taught my family that the Lord does provide. Just as we were beginning to worry how we were to continue to feed our crops, the Lord sent you to us. My wife has already started more mushroom colonies."
Zill strained his eyes downward and saw that his torso had been split open and filled with soil. Toothpicks marked where Sarah had started her fresh colonies. His broken neck prevented him from feeling the pain of having his torso split open and stuffed with dirt. All he could do was scream from the realization that he was going to be alive as his body hosted the mushrooms.
"Again I thank you, Rick. I thank the Lord for sending you to us. Let us pray that he will take you quickly so you do not suffer too much. Cricket, would you care to say thank you to Rick? Would you like to thank him for growing......"
"The seed of treats!" Cricket interrupted her father again. It was obvious that Helen Louise was too innocent to understand what was happening. In her world, this was commonplace and she responded as if she had witnessed human bodies used as fertilizers many times before, and indeed, she had. Zill was dumb with horror as bright eyed Cricket appeared next to his head like she had done before. Again she placed her worn teddy bear next to him and reached her hand up and petted his hair.
"Bye-Bye!"
Joseph picked his child up with one arm and carried the oil lamp in the other hand and ascended the stairs.
Rick Zillmer screamed as the light vanished and the door shut.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-11 18:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-11 14:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS IS AWESOME.
One of my favorites of the comp so far. And with that title..WOW. Impressive, lady.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you only need 1200 hits more!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 11:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great work with an iffy title.
Original, to boot. This is exactly why I don't trust little girls with teddy bears.
Ye olde tyme horreur shoppe.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-10 15:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For a moment I thought this was an Ubermadness entry and looked for the other. I need to sleep.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-10 14:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're so hot, you bony-handed freak you
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't trust them mountain folk either.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-10 09:34:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn...
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this story gave me a woodrow
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-10 01:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very impressive!! I enjoyed this immensely
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just because the title you had was awful. Might ordinarily have been or 1 or something.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Honey, this was bad ass on SO many levels...
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-10 00:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for doing such a great job with such a crappy title.
Oh, and semi colons. Be careful how you use them.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 23:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't get over how good this is.
You should be damn proud of this entry.
Man, this would have KICKED ASS in Ubermadness.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-09 23:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE DID IT!
Awesome, baby. Just fucking awesome, and with the Worst Title Ever!
This was really good. Like, 60's Japanese horror movie good.
God DAMN!