Rise or Fall (69 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (View user info) at 2006-10-10 02:42:31 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
Fuck 21. Your 21st birthday is supposed to be some big milestone. That's what they told me. All those years leading up to it - I couldn't fucking wait! It was supposed to be the end-all be-all of birthdays! You go out to the bars, everyone finds out it's your 21st and even the people you've never met before celebrate it with you! People you've never known before and you will never know again come over and buy you drinks and tell you congratulations. It's the time of your life!
Bullshit.
I went out at midnight on my 21st. The first bar I went to didn't card me. The most anticlimactic moment of my life.
That was just the beginning though.
After a few other boring as shit bar visits - where no one said a damn thing by the way - I went home.
When I woke up the next morning, I convinced myself that the last night was a fluke but tonight would be the memory maker. My brother took me out to one of his favorite bars. My brother is a regular boozer, so when we walked in, I expected a greeting that would make Norm sound like the designated driver. But that's what I get for having expectations. My brother didn't have a friend in the bar and the bartenders sure as hell didn't know his name.
What other delusions have I been fed?
That was a few years ago now and I haven't thought about it much since then. But my little brother is turning 21 this weekend. Will it be the same experience for him? Is he going to come home not know what to believe anymore? I know he's been anticipating this the same way I was. That incredible desire to want to go to a party or a bar without having to worry about cops showing up.
But that is just more bullshit. The cops never show up after you're 21.
That secret desire you have to get caught. Just so you can show them your authentic 21 year old I.D. - but it never happens. Any party you go to after you're 21 won't get busted. It's just how things work.
Drinking experiences aren't the only thing affected by a 21st birthday. Optimistic sayings now turn incredibly pessimistic.
People still say "you have your whole life ahead of you" after you're 21. But instead of meaning "You can do whatever you want" it means "until you are put out of your misery by death."
A few days before my birthday, someone told me "the grass is greener on the other side." Meaning life is easier after you turn 21.
He was wrong.
As of right now, I can't afford college loans because I'm falling behind on my rent. I can't make rent because I have to pay alimony to my wife. We were barely married a month before the divorce.
Something has finally made sense to me though; the reason our drinking age is 21. It's because you realize life is just one let down after another, and you need to start drink yourself stupid to avoid depression.
Happy 21st birthday? Not a chance.
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Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:26:09 EDT (#)
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