Between Enemies (704 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.39 on 74 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-10 06:30:16 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
Stanley walked through the kitchen door and over to the Formica topped kitchen table. He reached down to his right leg and unsnapped the sheath tied around his thigh, removing the twelve inch Bowie knife that was housed there. Placing it on the table, he then walked over and opened the cupboard above the sink, carefully removing his sharpening kit. Closing the cupboard, he returned to the table, sat down, and started sharpening the knife. After a half hour he was done and, replacing the sharpening kit back in the cupboard, he placed the knife back in the sheath and walked over to the oven. He reached up to the controls and turned the knob to 350 degrees. Then he walked over to the basement door. He reached into his right pocket and removed a key to unlock the door. Opening the door, he hit the switch on the wall just inside the staircase. The basement light snapped on and he heard a rustling in the room downstairs.He walked down two stairs and turned to shut the door. He then inserted the key back into the lock, turned it once clockwise until he heard the lock engage, and removed the key placing it back into his right pocket. He then walked down the remaining ten stairs and took a quick left.
In front of him was a large table. Attached to this table were four sets of restraints, two at one end, and two at the other. The two restraints at the top of the table each held a wrist. The two at the bottom each held an ankle. Attached to these body parts was a man about thirty five years old named Robert. Robert was naked except for a burlap bag covering his head and cinched very tightly around his neck. Stanley looked at Robert and sighed. He thought it was going to be a long night for Robert.
Stanley walked over to the table and untied the cinch cord around Robert's neck. He lifted the burlap bag just over Robert's chin and mouth, revealing a ball gag that had been affixed around his head and into his mouth. Grabbing the ball, Stanley pulled it out of Robert's mouth and down under his chin, letting it rest just below his adams apple at the base of his neck. Robert took a deep breath through his mouth and then started to speak. Stanley punched him hard right on the chin.
"Shut up," he said calmly, as if he were talking to a child.
"Please...please," Robert said and Stanley hit him again, harder right about where his right eye would be. Stanley wasn't sure if he had hit his eye because the burlap bag was still covering the top part of his head, but he thought he had gotten close.
"I said shut the fuck up."
Robert started to cry softly as Stanley pulled the bag down over his head and cinched the cord, tying it tightly.
Stanley walked over to the other side of the basement and grabbed a folding chair, bringing it over to the table and setting it right next to the end of the table where Robert's head was. He sat down in the chair and considered Robert.
Naked.
Helpless.
Perfect.
"Let's have a little talk, shall we Robert?" Stanley said in a very matter-of-fact tone. Robert didn't say anything, he just kept on crying.
"If you don't stop crying, I'm going to kill you right now, Robert. Now, you wouldn't like that would you?"
Robert's head shook from side to side very quickly.
"Good. Now, I am going to ask you a few questions Robert. I would like answers to these questions. You will supply these answers but you will do it without talking. Do you understand so far Robert?"
Robert nodded his head very quickly and Stanley continued.
"Good boy Robert. Very good boy."
Stanley was enjoying this game. He was good at it. He had lots of practice at it.
"Ok, first question Robert. Think carefully before answering. If you are in a car, traveling at the speed of light, and you turn your lights on, does anything happen?"
Robert didn't move. He didn't know what to make of the question.
Stanley balled up his fist and punched him hard on the right side of his head.
"Remember Robert, you must ANSWER my questions. It may mean the difference between life or death for you. DO YOU UNDERSTAND, ROBERT?"
Robert nodded his head quickly. He wasn't sure, but he thought that now he was bleeding from his right eye. He shifted his hands and legs against the restraints as he fought for his life.
"Ok, next question," Stanley said and then sat silent for a few seconds for effect. He slowly leaned over to Robert's head and whispered into his ear.
"Do you know who I am, Robert?"
Robert was still for a moment and then he shook his head..
"Ha-ha, yes you do Robert. You know me, or at least you knew me. Your girlfriend knows me too Robert. Oh, and speaking of your girlfriend...."
Stanley glanced up and looked at the far wall across the room. He could just make out the outline of a body pressed up against the wall. He smiled.
"She's here too, Robert, bet you didn't know that, did you?"
Robert began to yell and shake his head furiously. Stanley stood up, removed the Bowie knife from its sheath, and grabbed Roberts right hand which was straining against the leather restraint. Holding his pinky finger, Stanley placed the sharp edge of the knife between the fourth and fifth fingers of Roberts hand.
"Shut up now Robert," Stanley threatened.
Robert continued to scream. Stanley neatly cut Robert's pinky finger off at the knuckle.
Holding the finger in his left hand, Stanley looked down at Robert who was thrashing his body badly against the restraints as well as screaming even more loudly than before. Blood began to spray all over both of them as he thrashed his hand against the restraint, looking for some relief from the pain. The body against the far wall began to move also, as if brought to life by the screaming man.
"Look what you've made me do, Robert," Stanley said as he got up off his chair and crossed the room to his workbench. He placed the finger on the workbench and picked up his butane blow torch and lighter. He then walked back to the table. Turning the valve on the torch, he could barely hear the stream of gas expel from the torch over Robert's screams. Holding the torch up, he clicked the lighter once in front of the nozzle and the torch came to life. He put the lighter down on the table and adjusted the flame on the torch, narrowing it to a powerful beam of flame.
He reached down and grabbed Roberts wrist firmly, holding it down on the edge of the table. He watched as blood came pouring out of the open wound where Roberts finger used to be, then he applied the flame to the wound, adeptly cauterizing it and stemming the flow of blood.
He took a deep breath when he was finished.
"I just love that smell, don't you Robert," Stanley said. He hadn't noticed that Robert wasn't moving or screaming anymore. He turned the valve on the torch, extinguishing the flame and set the torch down on the floor next to the table. He put his hand on Roberts bare chest and found that Robert was still breathing.
"Hmmm. Too much pain for you Robert?" Stanley said. He then crossed over to the far side of the room where Robert's girlfriend was hanging.
Stanley considered the mass against the wall with awe and respect. He had hung Stacy from a harness that was buckled around her body, her hands restrained at the back by a set of built in handcuffs. She had been hanging from a very thick length of chain looped around a hook screwed into an I-beam that ran along the entire length of the basement ceiling. He had hung her close to the wall because he had a plan for her.
He had stripped her naked and wrapped her body entirely in duct tape except for an opening for her nose and an opening for each nipple. Once he had her entirely wrapped except for those areas, he had attached her body to the wall with even more duct tape. When he was finished and he was thoroughly convinced that she was secure, he had taken the chain off of the hook on the ceiling. He was very pleased with his efforts because she did not fall from the wall. She just hung on the wall like a caterpillar in a cocoon. He had reinforced his work with even more duct tape and had added a few hundred large staples from his staple gun for added support. Stacy's body hung on the wall, shifting slightly every once in awhile. He could see her mass moving under the tape. He thought it was exquisite.
He observed mucus running from her nose and dripping down the outside of the tape. Her nose was red and covered with sores, presumably from the insects that made the basement their home. He could see her nipples protruding from the openings in the tape. They were hard.
"Hello Stacy," Stanley said. He watched as the mass attached to the wall shifted slightly in the cocoon.
"Robert just found out that you were here, and he didn't like it one bit. I had to cut off one of his fingers to shut him up."
The mass under the tape went still.
"Don't worry though, I can't get at your fingers Stacy. Your hands are safe."
Stanley walked over to his workbench and retrieved the old train set transformer he had purchased a few days ago. He had purposely purchased the strongest transformer they had in stock. The sales clerk guaranteed that this particular model could power a real train if need be. He wrapped a few wires around each output and tightened the screws down around them. Then he plugged the transformer into the extension cord that was plugged into the outlet by the bench, and brought the transformer over to where Stacy was attached to the wall. He put the transformer down on a chair that was up against the wall and followed the wires down to their ends to a set of alligator clips. He put the alligator clips in his hands and felt their weight. Then he attached one of the clips to her right nipple.
The mass on the wall started to move quickly. He could hear her muffled yells as she tried to scream through the duct tape. He smiled as he attached the other clip to her left nipple. He leaned his head close to hers and said, "You can't imagine how much fun I'm having right now, can you Stacy?"
With that, he picked up the transformer, turned its switch to "on" and turned the dial all the way up to full.
The lights flickered momentarily and then the mass on the wall started to shudder. He could hear her muffled cries as her body convulsed with electricity. Stanley put the transformer back on the chair, looked at Stacy's bound body convulsing against her duct tape bonds, watched as mucus started to shoot out of her exposed nose, and went back over to see if Robert had awakened from his slumber.
He sat down in the chair next to the table and spoke to Robert again.
"Can you hear me Robert?"
"Fucking asshole," Robert replied with a voice he didn't recognize as his own.
Stanley just smiled.
"In the mood for a little conversation Robert?"
"Why are you doing this?" Robert said as he started to cry again.
"Because you're a pussy, Robert. You've always been a pussy. I've hated you for it ever since you were a kid."
Robert's body stiffened a little. "What do you mean, since I was a kid?"
Stanley took the knife out of the sheath again and held it up to Robert's throat. The polished Stainless steel reflecting light all around the room from the lone bulb hanging from the ceiling.
"What? You don't recognize my voice Robert? Maybe it's just as well since you haven't seen me in awhile. Why I bet you hardly even remember me since I was sent away at such an early age. Well before your tenth birthday, well after you managed to drive me just a little crazy."
Robert was very still on the table. He could feel the hard steel pressing against the soft flesh of his neck. He was very scared and confused.
"Stanley?" he said.
"Oh, you DO remember then Robert?" Stanley replied. "I was so hoping that you would remember. There would have been no satisfaction for me if you hadn't." With that, Stanley cut Robert's throat cleanly and deeply from ear to ear. Robert's body jumped on the table and went into a seizure. Blood spurted impressively from his severed jugular vein.
Stanley stood back to enjoy the show.
"Yes, Robert," Stanley said as he listened to the gurgling sounds his soon to be dead brother was making as the blood ran out of his throat and onto the table. "Stanley. Your enemy from birth, and certainly the worst enemy you ever had. I'm glad we could share these, your final moments together. There is no stronger bond between two enemies than the bond of death."
Stanley watched Robert convulse for a full two minutes before he walked over to the workbench to retrieve a small rectangular pan. He set the pan down on the table next to Robert's left leg and proceeded to cut Robert's heart and liver out with his beautifully crafted Bowie knife. It took him an hour to do it right, and when he was done, he placed Robert's organs in the pan and walked over to Stacy who was still moving in rhythm to the electricity coursing through her body. He reached down and turned the transformer to off. Then he reached up and removed the alligator clips from her bleeding nipples. He noticed a foamy froth coming from her exposed nose. She smelled a little like burning lilacs. Her body was now completely still.
"I'll be back in about an hour or so dear, don't go away," he said. Then he licked the blood from her nipples. He walked back over to the table where Robert was and picked up the pan. He then walked back up the basement stairs, unlocked the door and turned off the light. When he entered the kitchen, it smelled as if he had already been cooking something. He went over to the stove, opened the door, and inserted the pan. Closing the oven door, he then set the timer for forty five minutes and went upstairs to take a shower.
- VS -
Entry 2
There I stood in the middle of the next generation's World War III. I tried to calm the man to my left."Colonel, it was an accident. He's apologized several times over and I believe he's being sincere. You don't want to do this."
"Sir," he said calmly, "where I come from, an act of this magnitude cannot be resolved with a mere apology. Look at the expression on his face. Does he look apologetic to you?"
The man he was referencing stood silently, a cold smile stretched across his face.
"I'm telling you, this was an innocent misunderstanding. Think of how far we've come! The future of the world, the future of our children is at stake."
"Son, do you know what our children's lives would be like in a world where this clown was in charge? Do you?"
"No sir, I don't."
"Greasy and fat. There's nothing healthy about those burgers. There's not one vitamin, not one single nutrient in a quarter pounder and do you know how much fat is in there? Forty grams! Forty grams of fat in one sandwich. That's preposterous!"
"Sir, you have to admit that fried chicken isn't the healthiest option out there."
"I do say, fried chicken may be less healthy than a carrot stick, but you would need to eat five drumsticks to equal the amount of fat in a single quarter pounder. Have you ever eaten five drumsticks in one sitting? Now don't answer that, I know you haven't, and if you have, you knew what you were getting into."
"True."
"You uh, you haven't eaten five drumsticks in one sitting, have you?"
"No sir."
"Good, I knew it."
"Still, I have to say, I don't see how you can argue that people who eat too much fat at KFC know what they are getting into while people who do the same at McDonald's are somehow victimized."
"Son, have you ever seen a KFC commercial on television?"
"Yes, of course, I'd have to be blind not to have seen one."
"How many clowns are selling my Original Recipe chicken?"
"None, sir."
"How many playgrounds are there at KFC restaurants?"
"None, sir."
"How many cobranded Disney cartoon movie toys does KFC give away on a daily basis?"
"Well that's not really fair sir. Legal was never able to sign the deal to..."
"Just answer my question!"
"None, sir."
"That is correct. He is advertising during children's television shows, luring them into his restaurants with Happy Meals and free toys based on their favorite Disney movies, fattening them up with greasy burgers and french fries, and thereby leading them into a sedentary life style that will encourage them to watch more television, see more advertisements, and so on and so forth. You see, it's not a voluntary choice when it's ingrained in your subconscious from childhood on."
"But sir, aren't those the same tactics you have been trying only less successfully?"
"Son, this dialogue is getting us nowhere. The gauntlet has been thrown. The war has begun. There can be only one. Unless you're talking about my formula of herbs and spices in which cases there are eleven."
With that, the colonel raised his katana, holding it two handed in front of his body, staring at Ronald McDonald.
The clown took one step towards the colonel and the paused. He reached into his oversized yellow pocket, pulled out a Little Mermaid Ariel Necklace and a Lego Bionicles Reidak, and then raised them above his head and yelled "I'm Llllllovin' It!!"
Within moments, a crowd comprised half of fat six year old boys and half of fat six year girls rushed the clown and began running around him in circles, glistening salt covered hands reached towards the toys, and providing an inpenetrable protective shield against the colonel.
Once the shield was in place, the clown found the slowest fat boy and the beefiest fat girl, grabbed them with his free glove covered hand, and ripped the souls straight from their bodies. The children's souls were them forged into what looked like a sugary orange sword. The children's lifeless bodies were dragged away by immigrant laborers and returned to seats in front of a nearby television displaying a looped copy of Bambi 2.
"Damn that clown!" the colonel said angrily. "What did I tell you? Orange drink is children! We've got to stop him somehow!"
The colonel led with a handful of Original Spices to the eyes. The clown responded with a barrage of ketchup packets and soft serve ice cream.
The colonel and the clown began exchanging swings of their weapons. They parried back and forth with neither gaining any ground. The colonel tried to take a swing at the Happy Meal toys, but inadvertantly stepped on a green plastic ball pit ball that had fallen from the clown's fiery red hair.
Having gained the upper hand, Ronald dismissed his child shield, moved next to the colonel, and then standing sugary orange sword in hand said, "There can be only one." The clown stretched back and swung his sword of children's souls at the colonel's neck.
With the fate of the world at hand, the colonel lept out of the clown's reach into a nearby salad bar. Using the only thing available to him, he temporarily blinded the clown with a plastic spoonful of ranch dressing to the eye. He then reached under the sneeze guard, grabbed a piece of broccoli, and threw it at the clown.
When the broccoli hit the clown in the shoulder, the contacted piece of clown suit dissipated into dust and the flesh beneath ruptured and splattered. The clown stopped motionless and howled in pain.
"I've got you now, Bozo," the colonel said. He reached for more broccoli and threw it. Each piece that made contact created a splatter of melted clown flesh and more agonizing screams.
With the tray of broccoli exhausted and the clown kneeling and unable to defend himself, the colonel grabbed his katana from where it had fallen, raised it above his head, and swung at the clown's neck.
The clown's head fell to the ground. The colonel held the sword in the air and exclaimed, "The war is over. I have won. There is hope that the future world will be a free world".
Licking the melted clown flesh off his lip he continued, "And it tastes like chicken".
Entry 1:
august_sobriquet
Bigmike
Bizdorph
CaptainThorns
coley
Davros
drgoatcabin
DrogoRoch
EchoBoxing
extacy_red
FunnyAsCancer
Hirilnara
HotWillie
Jack_McCallum
jgreening
kinney69
lechuza
Magicaddict
Orgasmatron
rad1101
redskieslookfake
Sacrilicious
Shaun_Rocks
sicosemen
Stagger_Lee
supadupapupa
The_taste_of_Monkeys
24 eligible votes (27 total) *
Entry 2:
a_palindrome
Amontillado
apollo88
Axolotl
BadAssJulie
bart
Bellebrown
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Bubba2341
Coyote
Crystle
darko
ghola
goferforhire
helbling
Impassive-Digressive
indoninja
intellismartness
JMG114
joedaddy
JoeyG
JonnyX
justagirl27
kaos-king
kybernetikum
loki
LT
MandaPanda
mrez
NerfHerder
polyamorousaj
simple_catalyst
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
St_Jimmy
stevie_says
Targa
tinactin
Tracer0351
WingedFoote
36 eligible votes (40 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-10-13 04:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to vote for that crazy ass first one until the final line of the second. both well done, especially compared to that weeping willow crap...
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Both of these were meh, one brutally violent with apparently no reason for the violence except a toddler memory and a failed attempt at comedy.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"But sir, aren't those the same tactics you have been trying only less successfully?" won it.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was good in its own way, but I was more drawn into 2.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was fucked up, in a good way.
#2 was fucked up, in a bad way.
Now I've gotta go drop a deuce.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
number one had decent imagery. number two was just retarded
Submitted by kinney69 (user info) at 2006-10-12 13:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Tracer0351 (user info) at 2006-10-12 12:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed until there was orange drink coming out of my nose.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-12 12:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Technically #1 was probably better, but I'm really tired of the torture scenes and #2 was clever.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-12 10:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Really well done - though I'm not sure I fully understood what the girl had done to deserve it...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-12 01:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-11 22:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I prefer death by broccoli to death by torture.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-11 20:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, the reviews did remind me- #1, while I can see why a homicidal maniac would be so methodical, the first paragraph did almost drive me crazy, too.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-11 20:37:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh goddamnit.
#1 was very well-written and cringe-inducing. I would have liked a few words on what caused the insanity, the hatred, but it works as is, as well.
#2 I never thought I'd ever be able to claim that I voted against a story in which that fucking clown dies. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. While #1 gets the vote, I loved your entry, too.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-11 18:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-11 16:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1- You dedicated two paragraphs to describing how Stanley went into the kitchen and went downstairs but never mentioned exactly why he'd been sent away and how that was his brother's fault. You implied Stan's crazy, but you really need to establish more motivation than that to set up the torture scene.
#2- Mildly entertaining. Made me smile a couple of times. Pretty creative take on the title. You got my vote.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-10-11 15:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by mrez (user info) at 2006-10-11 13:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was probably the most fucked up thing I've ever read, number two.
kudos, you win.
Winnings not redeemable for purchases of any value, numerical or otherwise.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-11 07:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
These stories are equal to me, but I'm tired of seeing 2 sentence paragraphs as it's a bit overdone here.
Submitted by kybernetikum (user info) at 2006-10-11 07:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It´s all bad
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-11 04:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Both were good reads. #2 even managed to make me laugh. I am going with #1 as I thought it flowed well and kept me interested a bit more.
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-10-11 01:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
entry 1 was good, but i just didn't get it.
and i'm a sucker for humor. but damn, i used to like orange drink!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
After looking through the reviews, it is obvious which matchup this is, and I am appalled.
You have both done much better.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:23:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These were both plain stupid. #1 tried to write something interesting, I guess, but it simply seemed pointless.
#2 was not funny or interesting.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddammit I thought I just rated this but for some shitty reason it didn't go through; so I will try to remember what I said...
#1 started out awkwardly and seemed to have no emotion to it, which made it hard to keep reading; then when I realized what was going on it made sense (since Stanley..STANLEY TUESDAY?..was a crazy mofo). Author 1: you's fucked in the head. Good luck with that. :)
#2 was alright, then this made me laugh:
"The war has begun. There can be only one. Unless you're talking about my formula of herbs and spices in which cases there are eleven."
Then it went downhill fast.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought that #1 seemed really stony and emotionless and it was hard to read, until I realized what was going on and that Stanley (STANLEY TUESDAY?) was such a nutjob that he really WASN'T feeling much emotion doing what he was doing. Then it made sense. Still, author one, you's FUCKED UP in the head. Congrats on that.
#2 was alright, this made me laugh:
"The war has begun. There can be only one. Unless you're talking about my formula of herbs and spices in which cases there are eleven."
That part was awesome, then it went downhill fast.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really couldn't read entry 1 because it made me feel a little sick. I considered voting for it for that reason; that means it's effective in some way, right?
But entry 2 made me laugh a lot, so I went with that instead.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bwahaha
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 - While I obviously enjoyed your grotesque details, the plot itself was somewhat weak.
#2 - Due to the sheer ridiculous nature of this entry, it demands my vote.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-10 21:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can't really vote for pointless sadism. I know it's all the rage, but it doesn't actually make for a good read.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-10 21:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't read them. 2 seemed shorter.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:01:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:41:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
holy shit these entries are close.
14 to 15 as of right now (for entry 1)
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 1 -- fantastic introduction of the 2 bound characters. Although there isn't much explanation, the end of the story is clean and neat. Well done.
Entry 2 -- good job. There is humor, but it is dark. Unfortunately, your writing isn't up to speed with entry 1.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, number #2 was excellent - any story where the clown dies is a happy story.
#1, nice try at being a psycho, but honestly? It was boring. Boring and formulaic. The only think you forgot was the chianti and fava beans. Zzzzzzz.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-10 16:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never thought I'd ever say this, but I'm really tired of reading stories about torture this round.
Entry one was a half-decent story, but the first paragraph alone was too long. There had to have been at least three or four sentences that could've been summed up with, "He sharpened his knife." I'm all about detail and good description, and it's obvious that author one has a grasp of it. However, there is a fine line between good description and too much description. The entire story could've been shortened, and wasn't really interesting... not a lot of conflict. Come to think of it, I think I just convinced myself to vote for entry two.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-10-10 15:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-10 14:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read a single word
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As much as I hate Ronald, #1 was better
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was okay, kind of an uber staple with some fun gore.
#2 was a freakin train wreck.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
filename
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unnecessary, unmotivated torture, or pure retarded fast food ninja-ness?
The audience is trrrrembling.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither one had any direction, both were disgusting.
This was terrible.
I only voted for number one because clown killing is so last year.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one was one of the worst Uber madness entries I have ever seen.
Somebody is torturing someone else and it happens to be their brother, whoa!!!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by helbling (user info) at 2006-10-10 11:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 = amusing
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-10-10 10:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
clown flesh
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-10 10:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#2, although amusing, was not nearly as well written or enthralling as #1.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-10 09:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 read like a Big Mike piece in content, but without his skills at humanising the narrator.
#2 was an attempt at humour, but I really didn't find it funny and I knew that it was fast food in the first few lines.
Entry 1 for me.
-Dave
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-10 09:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-10 09:06:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
Jamie moved his mouse slightly to the left.
His finger tightened as he clicked the left mouse button.
He selected number two. His eyes stopped after about three lined of entry one. He shook his head in disgust.
'Writing competition indeed'. He thought.
He hadn't even read number two but surely it could not be as ridiculous as number one.
--
bets?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-10 09:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jamie moved his mouse slightly to the left.
His finger tightened as he clicked the left mouse button.
He selected number two. His eyes stopped after about three lined of entry one. He shook his head in disgust.
'Writing competition indeed'. He thought.
He hadn't even read number two but surely it could not be as ridiculous as number one.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:34:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well,
two held my attention not at all. didn't really want to keep reading one, but i did anyway.
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LT (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-10 08:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
aye
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-10 07:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry #1 was too cliched, the methods of torture have been done a million times, and the blow torch thing was straight out of Stephen King's Misery.
On this premise, I'm going to have to go for #2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-10 06:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry 1, only just.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-10 06:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 was almost really good. However, #1 was actually really good.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-10 06:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-10 06:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking horrible
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-10 06:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't ever write like this again.