Mercy is for the Weak (749 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.18 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-10 11:50:18 EDT
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Entry 1
Louisa settles onto the couch and props an oblong saucer atop her knees. She swirls the edge of her fork through blue and white icing, separating it from dry yellow cake. Lifting a forkful of the cake to her lips, she flicks the television on. A news anchor calmly faces her and speaks in even tones with little expression."Earlier today a head-on collision between a garbage truck and a van full of high school students resulted in the death of six children and the injury of the truck driver."
It was just another day.
The dim street light casts a yellow glow through her blinds and she draws the curtains closed. Shadows fall across old family photos and a miniature porcelain elephant that's standing on one foot.
She sweeps her curling grey and white hair behind her ears and leans down to pet Norman, her old brown and white spotted beagle. He stands perfectly still, unblinking and without so much as a wag of his tail.
Norman had a full life. Louisa had gotten him as a puppy and had tried to teach him to fetch the paper and walk beside her on early morning walks. Instead, Norman spent the majority of his time digging up the neighbor's herb garden and chewing on an assortment of shoes. Louisa loved him and after his death couldn't part with him. She had him stuffed.
There's a gentle knock at her thin wooden door and Louisa leaves her saucer and Norman to answer it.
"Hi ma'am," says a gentleman who has tufts of grey hair sticking out of his ears, but not protruding from his head. "You must be Louisa. Arnold told me so much about you. We were old army buddies and I've never been able to get down this way, but I always swore if I did I'd stop by and see Arnold."
"My husband died years ago."
The man stands in the doorway for a moment with his hand resting on the chipped door frame and his mouth poised to say something.
"I'm sorry," Louisa says, shaking her head. "You didn't know. Why don't you come in and have a cup of tea? We'll reminisce. We'll pretend we aren't old fools."
He laughs and follows her in. "My name's Tony, by the way. I probably should've mentioned that."
She motions for him to have a seat at the table in the corner of her kitchen. It's small wooden table, covered with a lace cloth she'd made years ago.
"Do you take sugar? Milk? Cream?" she asks him, pouring two cups of hot tea.
"Plain," he says. "That's really the only way to drink it. Good for the heart."
She nods, brings two cups of steaming tea to the table and sits down across him, clasping her hands in front of her and resting them on the tabletop.
He clears his throat. "If you don't mind me asking, when did Arnold pass on?"
Louisa's expression softens. The lines around her eyes are more evident and she unclasps her hands. "He died about ten years ago in his sleep. His old heart just gave out on him. The doctor had been telling him to take it easy, but he wouldn't do no such a thing."
Tony sips his tea and nods. "I'm sorry to hear it. You been managing okay?"
She rests her hand on the base of the tea, feeling its warmth against her palm. "I suppose. The year after Arnold passed on, God took little Andy too. Andy was our only child. He was driving home from work late one night, on the way to see his wife and kids and some one slammed into him. It was instant. That's the way it is with those things. Police said he probably never felt a thing."
Tony shakes his head. "I'm sorry. What about his family?"
Louisa nods. "I think they're doing okay. After he died, they couldn't stand to stay around here so they moved back up north where that girl has family. I get a letter from her sometimes, but I can't travel that far these days. Too frail, too brittle."
Tony swallows and holds his teacup a few inches below his chin. "So what do you do with yourself?" he asks her.
"I knit some. I used to go with the next door neighbor to bingo on Wednesday nights, but she passed away last month. Just old age I guess. She went to sleep one night and didn't wake up. Merciful god. That's how I'd like to go."
They talk for a while longer and Tony recounts his and Arnold's service in the military. At a quarter to 10:00 Tony says his goodbyes and leaves. They exchange phone numbers, addresses, and a knowing smile that lets Louisa know she'll probably never hear from the man.
And then she's alone again. She washes their teacups and the saucer she'd been using earlier that evening. She closes the lid over her birthday cake and puts it in the pantry, beneath the rice and next to a stack of tuna fish cans.
After turning out all the lights and locking the front door, she heads to her bedroom. She takes off her robe, climbs into bed and pulls the covers over her tired body. She throws her arms across the bed on either side of her and stares at the ceiling. She doesn't bother counting sheep. They left her a long time ago.
Her alarm clock goes off the next morning; she gets out of bed, fixes a cup of coffee, and walks to the end of the drive to get the newspaper. Today's headline reads, "Aren't You Glad to Be Alive?"
God ought to have mercy and take you before you're so completely alone.
- VS -
Entry 2
Crazy Legs: "Arty Hambone! Arty! Lemme tellya a story!"Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "No."
Crazy Legs: "Yeah, yeah. So this fella Charlie 3times had a hooker hole out down by 43rd street. It was for the kinks. Da freaky shit on the wall kinks, ifyaknawhaImean? Not my scene, but hey, boats float funny fo' some folk.."
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "Nigga you crazy. Shut yer mouth."
Crazy Legs: "I ain't talkin' shit!"
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "What you know about Charlie 3times? What's yer story, crackhead??"
Crazy Legs: "Crackhead, I know Charlie 3times. Me and him is like THIS, NIGGA!"
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "Any proper bizniss man with a name like Charlie 3times ain't like THIS with any nigga crackheads crazy as you!"
Crazy Legs: "How you know, Icehat? They call you Icehat fo' the ice in your brain, nigga!!"
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "Bah!"
Crazy Legs: "Bah you!"
[minutes later]
Crazy Legs: "Pepperton, Pep, git over here! I got a story for ya!"
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: Don't you be listenin' to Crazy Legs!"
Pepperton: "Nigga I ain't comin' to the corner 'til The Man is here!"
Crazy Legs: "You know about Charlie 3times' kink house over on 43rd?? You know about his girl Mercy??"
Pepperton: "I ain't comin' down the corner so I ain't got to talk to you, crackhead!"
Crazy Legs: "We all here fo' crack, nigga! You a crackhead too, Pepperton!"
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MAN??"
Pepperton: "Bah!"
Crazy Legs: "Bah you!"
[minutes later]
Crazy Legs: "Montgomery, you know 'bout Mercy from Charlie 3times' place?"
Montgomery: "You leave me alone, Crazy Legs."
Crazy Legs: "Mercy was the biggest lady I ever seen. Nigga she was a 7 foot nigga! Muscly and big. All these lil pipsqueaks would come in and.."
Montgomery: "Shut up, Crazy Legs!"
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "You tell him Monty."
Montgomery: "Where's the man, Arty? He comin' today, right?"
Pepperton: "What's that I hear? He best be comin'!"
Montgomery: "You last in line, Pepperton! You ain't on the corner!"
Pepperton: "You saw me standin' here when you got here!"
Montgomery: "Corner is the corner! Right Arty??"
Crazy Legs: "Ol Charlie 3times would say.."
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "Shut yer mouth Crazy Legs! The corner's the corner but Pep can stick his foot in yo ass, Montgomery, so shut yer mouth, too!"
Montgomery: "Bah!"
[minutes later]
Pepperton: "There he is. There's The Man!"
Crazy Legs: "Oh mercy!"
Arty "Icehat" Hambone: "I bet that's what you said to her!"
Pepperton: "Skinny nigga Crazy Legs getting all spanked on by some big lady nigga!"
Montgomery: "Ahaha."
Crazy Legs: "Fuck you nigga crackheads! Mercy was.."
Montgomery: "Gun!"
Pepperton: "Crazy Legs, where the hell you get a gun?"
Art "Icehat" Hambone: "The Man saw you! He's driving away you stupid crackhead!"
Crazy Legs: "I ain't stupid. And I ain't get beat on by Mercy...Mer...Mercy is for the weak!"
*3 shots*
Entry 1:
Adamdidit2u
Amontillado
Axolotl
BadAssJulie
Beano312003
Bellebrown
Bigmike
BLITZKREIG_BOB
CaptainThorns
coley
Confuzitron
Coyote
Cracked_out_cali
Crystle
Davros
DrogoRoch
Ducky
DuiTicket
extacy_red
FunnyAsCancer
ghola
GodChicken
GodtheFather
goferforhire
gravitas
helbling
Hirilnara
HotWillie
intellismartness
Jack_Burton
Jack_McCallum
jgreening
JMG114
JoeyG
JonnyX
justagirl27
LT
Magicaddict
MandaPanda
munkeypants
Orgasmatron
redskieslookfake
Sacrilicious
simple_catalyst
Spam
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
St_Jimmy
Stagger_Lee
stevie_says
supadupapupa
Susie_Derkins
The_taste_of_Monkeys
tinactin
v8lover
WingedFoote
49 eligible votes (56 total) *
Entry 2:
AsshOly
charminglybeef
Chillax
Chroniclysm
EchoBoxing
Impassive-Digressive
joedaddy
rad1101
sicosemen
9 eligible votes (9 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:06:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ugh.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-10-13 06:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
number 2 what are you doing?
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-10-13 04:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-13 04:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't JiveHoMadness.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-12 13:37:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-10-12 02:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
for the first time, I actually couldn't finish an entry. two was, well, not the strongest entry I've ever seen...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-12 00:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this was close.
I thought I hated #2 until I got to the end. The picture is good, but not quite enough.
#1 was well written, and painted an appropos picture, as well as being easy to follow
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-11 23:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 made me sad. Nice story.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-10-11 21:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-11 20:57:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-10-11 16:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice pic #2. but you lose.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-10-11 13:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-10-11 10:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The formatting in number 2 sucked...
No, number 2 proved that perfect formatting can't save an otherwise dodgy thing.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-10-11 09:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sure, for something different.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-11 07:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 Well written bitter sweet tale. #2 Nigga Please
Submitted by LT (user info) at 2006-10-11 06:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-11 02:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These were shit.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My father gets called Crazy Legs cos of the way he plays football.
Entry 1.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1 was good, but I didn't see her as an old lady right away..I kind of had to go back in my mind and start over.
2 was a good idea, the way it was written, but I didn't like it that much in the end.
1 gets my vote
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i either really liked entry two or was very indifferent and i cant tell which it was. here's for the benefit of the doubt.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1 good but the last line bothered me
2 blah nigga blah blah nigga
Submitted by DuiTicket (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha no.2 hahaha no.....
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-10 21:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Huh?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-10-10 21:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The dialoge was surprisingly bearable in the second entry. Dunno exactly why, or how.
Struck me as being more interesting, too.
Sorry.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-10 21:11:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Filename. I'm not too old and I still don't care.
Submitted by Jack_Burton (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2? Another borderline incoherent? #1 gets it on readability.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was hard to feel bad for the lady in entry one, as she seemed rather flat. The story went on its way, and never seemed to make it anywhere. I liked the style, but I think that it could've been better applied to another story.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-10 16:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-10 15:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Story #1 - A very well written and quite touching piece that I feel lacked an ending. Though I geuss the only reason for this is because I thought about halfway through that the visitor was going to rip her off and run away laughing and I just LOVE stories where the bad guy wins. All in all I was very impressed.
Story #2 - Black people talk funny? That's your fucking moral? .......THAT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE ON UBERSITE!!!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-10 15:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-10-10 15:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Because I'm getting pissed off that everyone thinks that they can post whatever the fuck they want on ubersite (which can be good), but then HAVE to do "serious writing" for ubermadness.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-10-10 15:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-10 14:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-10 14:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Both sucked, but at least #1 had that Quiet Desperation That Is the English Way thing goin for it
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-10 14:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i wish some of these were contests
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-10 14:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry #1 by a country mile
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-10 13:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked the tone of #1, although I didn't really get the connection to the title.
The less said about #2 the better.
-Dave
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
UM isn't for black people unless they're getting lynched...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking shoot me.
Entry 1, you had promise, but every event seemed completely unmotivated.
"Arnold's dead."
*shock*
"Oh sorry, you didn't know."
*laugh*
THAT IS NOT NORMAL.
#2...just...die.
Submitted by GodtheFather (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 sucked.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't care for either story in particular, flipping a coin...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
depress much?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, I think this is the biggest waste of a title I've seen so far, but that's just a personal opinion. Author #1 gets it for a piece that is heartfelt, if not exactly gripping.
#2 was fucked.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-10-10 12:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by helbling (user info) at 2006-10-10 11:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I couldn't see any ties with the title for entry number one, but at least it was comprehensible.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-10 11:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Same