Hotdogs, big pigs and scarring a little child. Bonus camwhore. (544 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.3 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DrSeussman (View user info) at 2006-10-10 17:11:12 EDT
I don't know what it is about these damn things but every time I grill them up, for me or some friends, the conversation always seems to lead to some weird situation or discussion on the item itself, hotdogs.
Just this past Sunday I was cooking up some burgers and dogs on the grill for me and the girlfriend and her daughter. When her daughter (10 today, Happy Birthday Kori!) realized that the ones I was currently cooking did NOT in fact say beef on the package as she had read at our local ballpark, so I got the question.
"Are these beef hotdogs?." "Well honey I think they are pork and pork bi-products type hotdogs." (thanks to Professorfuckface and Schlongy on this, http://www.ubersite.com/m/88273 ) "Well what does that mean bi-products?" "Well it means that it has some of the good pig meat and some of the not so good pig meat in it. But they do taste good don't they?" This last part as she's eating a raw one while the others get burnt to a crisp on the grill.
"Yeah they taste good. BUT, what's the NOT SO GOOD parts your talking about?".
LIPS AND ASSHOLES HONEY, YOUR EATING LIPS AND ASSHOLES!!!
NO, I didn't say it, but I really wanted to believe me. "Well sweety sometimes when they go to get the chop or they are working the backstrap to get the pork loin or the belly to get the bacon there are sometimes pieces left over that are....ummm...well they just aren't real sure what they are so they throw all that into a grinder and it becomes the hotdog."
A really long thoughtful look here, "Well then it could be it's foot then?". "Well probably not as you see, rednecks LOVE pickled pigs feet so those probably went to a different part of the factory."
"So what you're telling me is, you really don't know what kind of pig is in this do you?". "Yes, as a matter of fact I do. It's a dead pig honey."
"Well, you can have my hamburger too, I'm going to get a peanut butter and jelly."
I can't wait till she hits the dating years!
On a lighter note, yeah the camwhore is me, NOT the one standing you dolts! Buddy of mine shot this on his ranch by Lake Fork if any of you know East Texas. We estimated it around 400-450 lbs.
User Reviews
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:52:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
btw you are fat, homeless, and hairy. Get off the ground and go take a shower.
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Yeah, ok, will get right on it. The lips and assholes is something dad always used to say. Still cracks me up when he says it.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:13:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
That poor creature better be fucking sleeping
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I've missed your work! Alas no he's definitely NOT sleeping. But he was tasty!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-10 21:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i thought jgreening was taller than that
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-10-10 19:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahah ahaha a
SHUT UP
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
btw you are fat, homeless, and hairy. Get off the ground and go take a shower.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"LIPS AND ASSHOLES HONEY, YOUR EATING LIPS AND ASSHOLES!!! "
hahahaah +2 for that alone
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That pig is a fatass.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-10-10 18:13:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That poor creature better be fucking sleeping
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Orgasmatron and JonnyX. Hey JonnyX you from there or just hunt in that area?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 for East Texas
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for inspiring me to watch Hannibal tonight.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Noonie is more waiflike. And hairier
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What's Inion doing lying down in front of that man?
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like something you would write Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-10 17:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For more facts on this case, please direct your attention to: http://www.ubersite.com/m/44366
Thank you. Drive thru.