Mu (722 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.93 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mike the Scottish (View user info) at 2006-10-10 20:02:11 EDT
The third tab hits and the world starts swimming before me, colors blurring into shapes, stretching and bending until they start to resemble something human. The shape shimmers and fades and forms a leering grin. I realize after a while that it's speaking.
"Pretty Good, huh?"
Yeah.
"Aye, there's the rub... let it take you, dude."
I smile. I think I smile, anyway... nothing feels grounded any more. I feel like I'm looking down at myself, the disheveled hair, the clothes stained into a patchwork quilt of filth. My filth. The pallid, deathly skin and the sunken, haunted eyes. But I can't see, I can't...
... I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it all, everything they said I couldn't. I'm gonna fight them all. Louis nods sagely, some sort of fucked-up zen master, me as his disciple. --Gie us anither tab, youse. Ah'm pure meltin here-- No, no. I'm not this guy. I've got my shit together. I know where I am, who I am. Not some twentysomething failure but the fucking champion of the world. I feel like a child again. I shriek with joy- jump up from the dying couch, punching the air with my fist. I'm fucking Rocky. I'm fucking...
...fucked. Louis is in hysterics on the other side of the room. I want to hurt him. You did this to me. No, no. Take responsibility, this is your decision, your choice of path. Geezers need excitement, after all.
...I need her again. I'm losing it...
I try to think where I met Louis. Some party or other. Me- drunk, groping an equally drunk sorority chick who I don't think even noticed. Louis- surrounded by people, telling a story. I start up from the bench and walk towards the crowd, the girl slumping into a paralytic heap on the floor. Louis has a Jack and Coke in his hand, he's wearing a faux-Victorian dressing gown and standing up on a chair in the kitchen. I think- this is the guy.
This might've been me, y'know. If things had gone another way.
Louis says something, points at me. The crowd start laughing. I manage a weak smile.
"Come on in, man, come in. What's your name?"
"Mike."
"Where you from?"
"Scotland"
He smiles.
"Come on man, let's split. I'm fucking bored."
I'm too drunk to even notice that I've never seen this guy before in my life. But I go back with him, we smoke sheesha and talk about Buddhism until one of us passes out. Something like that. Long time ago.
So I fade back, my mind returns. I'm back on the couch. I see everything clearly. I see the coffee table, lit by neon light falling into the room. The pile of dishes lying abandoned on the floor. The thin-legged spider arching over the wall behind Louis' head. I see Louis himself- no longer laughing, but staring directly at me. I stare back.
"What is it, Louis? What's wrong?"
"It's your eyes, man."
What does he mean? Have I burst some blood vessels? Have I cut something when I was jumping around? I search for some comfort in his face. He takes a long drag of his cigarette and looks back, pityingly.
"I told you, it fucks you up. That's why I gotta be clean in case you do something stupid. But you wanted out, right? Well, here ya go. Outside."
No, no, no...
This isn't me, I'm not some convulted mess, some nihilistic thrill-seeker on a permanent chemical push. I'm not some half-arsed waster. I'm better than that. Right? Yeah, damn right. Wahoowa. This is the last time. My eyes swim upwards, fix on the poster tacked to the wall, stained from the fumes of the highway opposite the house. This is it.
I look pleadingly at Louis.
"There's gotta be something, right? Some point where this all starts to make sense? Right, man?"
Louis looks right back at me.
"There's nothing, dude. Nothing at all. That's the beauty of it."
The beauty. The fucking beauty.
God, I need her right now...
...I can't...
...past...
Fuck it.
As I take another tab from Louis' outstretched hand, the world fades from beneath me and I embrace the void with outstretched arms.
User Reviews
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-08 19:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this was written before I was born. It was/is fucking awesome. Whatever happened to the good writers like Mike? HUH????
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-07-27 11:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm too drunk to even notice that I've never seen this guy before in my life. But I go back with him, we smoke sheesha and talk about Buddhism until one of us passes out. Something like that. Long time ago.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-27 11:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice voice.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2007-05-03 09:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All is well my end, cheers Mike. How about yourself?
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-11 10:23:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Having had a sheltered upbringing, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Forgot to reply t'other day. What are you doing over there?
----------
Studying abroad for a year, in sunny Virginia. Proving to myself that laziness can transcend cultural bounaries. Finding out that, although Americans tend to have grating voices, they're a helluva lot wealthier and better looking than the denizens of Glasgow. And the wilderness of eastern England, i'd imagine.
______________________________
The first thing that came to mind... I bet Mike has a huge smile on his face, and dark circles around his eyes/ Oh,and an itchy fores... Do the American women love your accent or what?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-03-05 13:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-03-05 13:08:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read this again and saw that I had commented it before. Anyway, I really liked it.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-10-11 13:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought this was going to be about a lost pacific continent.
it was way better than that...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-11 13:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mu as in the concept of nothingness?
---
you're not *quite* right.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-11 13:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:23:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mu as in the concept of nothingness?
BAD MIKE BAD MIKE *spray with water* BAD DRUGS BAD DRUGS!
----
Yup, well spotted. It gives me a warm glow to think that my pretentions towards complexity are recognised; validates my leech-like dependence upon the hard work of others :-).
------------
Well you ARE an English student
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-11 10:23:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Having had a sheltered upbringing, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Forgot to reply t'other day. What are you doing over there?
----------
Studying abroad for a year, in sunny Virginia. Proving to myself that laziness can transcend cultural bounaries. Finding out that, although Americans tend to have grating voices, they're a helluva lot wealthier and better looking than the denizens of Glasgow. And the wilderness of eastern England, i'd imagine.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-11 09:12:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice, and I hope you accept this 1 well.... I'm not being an arse but I don't think it is THAT awsome.
----
Fair play, dude. If I took offence at a +1, i'd have to question my life priorities.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:23:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mu as in the concept of nothingness?
BAD MIKE BAD MIKE *spray with water* BAD DRUGS BAD DRUGS!
----
Yup, well spotted. It gives me a warm glow to think that my pretentions towards complexity are recognised; validates my leech-like dependence upon the hard work of others :-).
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-10-11 12:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmhmmmm
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-11 10:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Having had a sheltered upbringing, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Forgot to reply t'other day. What are you doing over there?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-11 09:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice, and I hope you accept this 1 well.... I'm not being an arse but I don't think it is THAT awsome.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You really should post more often.
-Dave
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mu as in the concept of nothingness?
BAD MIKE BAD MIKE *spray with water* BAD DRUGS BAD DRUGS!
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:28:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and, uh... It's "shisha".
That is all.
---
I thought that looked a bit weird... my bad.
Cheers for the comments, guys.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and, uh... It's "shisha".
That is all.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is fifty times better than any of the tired crap that's been submitted for Ubermadness.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, you post less than I do.
I remember some of your older stuff, it's really good.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks a lot, dude. I guess i've lost the knack for tactical posting, heh.
It's good to be back... I missed this goddamn place.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Meaning that I hope this gets read
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You shouldn't submit gems like this when Ubermadness and Grueberfest are going on.
:)