How to Take Over France (463 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -1.55 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KindaLikeJesus (View user info) at 2006-10-10 22:08:26 EDT
It is well known that Americans love to bash the French and being an American I feel it is my right, no privilege to openly mock the entire nation from the privacy/conveince/safety of my basement.
To begin the take over of France one would need to find a way of making a lot money, and keep it where the damn government can't tax it. Computer scams seem to work steal money from gullible people on the web and there are still are alot of them (I'm still waiting for the free Razr http://www.freerazr.com/). To gain the money start an entire campaign of free laptops/phones/televisions/ipods/PSP's/X-Box 360s and so forth as long as you submit a valid bank account number and email. Couple that with some classic Nigerian money scam emails about how you a friendly Nigerian banker would like to give you several million dollars in exchange for the use of your bank account (Dear Gustava, I would love to do business with you my bank is a tube sock under my matress jackass.) After looting the public's money away it is time to make sure that the US can't get involved and tax the money, thats right it time to put it all in offshore Cayman Islands accounts.
Using the millions assemble a navy (a couple of yatchs with machine guns will do (these are the French)) and hire some mercenaries (Do the Swiss still do that?) Announce your invasion and quickly run past the French defenses (mostly chicken wire and some chain link fences) after seizing Paris (it'll happen in like 10 days tops) the French will surrender, you can now call yourself any lucrative title you wish as dictator (I like His Most Excellent President Elect For Life (its long and I wasn't really elected)) It won't be long unill the UN and NATO kick you out but I said "take over" not "conquer and control" but you might be able to have fun with the nukes otherwise just have fun and make sure to go peacefully that'll get you off in The Hauge for your "crimes against humanity" look sad and cry on the stand. say you didn't want to do it but the monkey in your made you. That my friends is how to take over France.
User Reviews
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2006-10-11 20:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus would not write this.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-11 08:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:35:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
...and because of the debts they incurred revolted against their monarchy.
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i don't know what history books you read but this was retarded
Submitted by Sandecki (user info) at 2006-10-11 00:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lets keep this train rolling
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:35:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now Bubba, we know GM/PiB isn't American, so all he knows of us is the shit Al jezeera or whatever show.
They don't realize that a vast majority of Americans love the fact that the surrender-monkies helped us out during the Revolutionary War, and because of the debts they incurred revolted against their monarchy.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hilarious!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Right, PIB, we owe everything to the French. Maybe we owe everything to YOU, you fucking idiot!!!
Fuck you, fuckstick. Eat shit and die, MORON.... Idiot...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lighten up, Francis. Or France hater. Kiss my wookie weenie...
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-10-10 23:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-10-10 20:42:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
You americans, always beleive you are 100% in the right ALWAYS, self righteous, high horse pompous assholes OR no teeth trailer park jerry springer type racist patriotic redneck hillbilly pieces of shit
You guys DO know that you wouldn't even be a fucking country if it wasn't for the French that you hate oh so much, funding your first 2 war efforts?
Yeah, that bit was deleted from the history books becasue you stoopid americans can't handle the truth. The USA owes allegiance to France, so take your freedom fires and stick em up your ass.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i tried to find this funny only to realize that you were a dullard
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was fucking great (fucking shit)!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-10-10 22:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shut the fuck up.