The Boy Scout (616 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicLabels: T&MM
Rating: 2 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Susie Derkins (View user info) at 2006-10-11 15:22:28 EDT
I had enlisted in the army because it was the right thing to do, because my country needed me. Most of my platoon was made up of involuntary conscripts, some on their second tour. But I was more than voluntary at seventeen and pushed to be deployed, I imagine the military looked the other way at my age because they needed the fresh bodies over there. I was sent to Vietnam in December of 1967 with Charlie Company. In March of 1968 we had received orders to eliminate any Viet Cong and their sympathisers in the My Lai village. I'm not going to go into detail describing the atrocities and horrors that happened there on the 16th, but I will say I didn't agree with what occurred and did everything I could to stop my platoon. I and all the boys that were there were investigated. Some were court marshalled and charged. I was eventually dishonourably discharged.
When I got back home after my tour in 1968, I didn't know what to expect. I sure didn't expect to be lectured by goddamn longhairs. I didn't expect my own family to act like I was a stranger. I didn't expect my girlfriend to have taken up with someone else, least of all one of those dirty hippies who was condemning me. I had no one I could turn to anymore. I had no home and no family. There was no work for someone like me in my hometown. I didn't want to hear the words "war" and "murder" screamed accusingly in my face any longer. I decided to leave the country and head to Canada, they seemed to sympathise with people running from this war. After bouncing around city to city for a few years, I ended up in Kingston, Ontario.
I met my lowlife partner in the summer of 1977 at a party. He was talking quietly to a few of the guests when he spotted my girlfriend Josie and I. He handed something over to the man he was talking to and swaggered over.
"Josie, baby! How are you?" he grabbed her up in a bear hug and went for a kiss.
"This is my boyfriend Peter." Josie said, gently shoving the man away, "Peter, this is Eddie."
"Call me Monkey Man." said Eddie (Monkey Man?) as he offered his hand to me
"OK, nice to meet you Monkey Man," I said with a smirk.
The Monkey Man stayed and chatted for a while. He did most of the talking, and mostly about himself. He looked pointedly bored whenever I was talking, and positively enraptured when Josie was talking. But when it came up in conversation that I was currently looking for work, his face seemed to light up.
"You are, eh?" he asked, grinning, "Well, come see me at my place on Monday evening. Say...sevenish? I can fix you up with some employment."
"Where is your place?"
"Josie knows...." he said, leering at my girlfriend. Her face flushed as she looked away, gulping down her beer. The Monkey Man slithered off and grabbed the ass of a few women he passed on the way to the bar. I turned on Josie.
"Ok who the hell is that guy? Why do you know where he lives?"
"Take it easy, he's an ex-boyfriend of mine." she placed a hand on my tense forearm, "Don't worry, I'm not interested anymore and I don't see him outside of parties."
"Fine, great." I mumbled and chugged my beer.
"Don't be a jealous jerk. I thought you were better than that. You have nothing to worry about." she reassured. I realized I was being an asshole, smiled and kissed her.
"So are you going to meet with him?" she asked.
"I don't know, Jose. It's a nice offer, but I don't really feel right about it."
"Why not? You've been out of work for three months now, you could use this."
"To tell you the truth, I don't like him. He seems shady."
"Come on, baby." she cooed, "It's not like people are beating your door down. Not many dropouts get good job offers."
"I'm not a dropout!" I roared, the party seemed to freeze all around and all eyes were on us. I smiled at the room as I led Josie into the kitchen where I continued in a more hushed tone, "I'm not a dropout, I ENLISTED to serve my country. They should be giving me jobs just for THAT, I'm a fucking veteran."
"So what?" Josie hissed as she shook her arm from my grip "You've been using that 'I'm a veteran' excuse for months, and that's what it is: an excuse. Be a fucking man and take the job."
I stared hard at her, trying to suppress the anger that would cause me to strike any man. But I was raised never to hit women. Instead I stuck a finger in her face, told her to find her own way home and I stormed out. I never saw her again.
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"Glad you could make it, man! Come on in, have a seat. Want something to drink?"
I couldn't believe I was meeting with this scumbag. I was taking the advice of the woman who betrayed me and going against my instincts, but I was desperate for money. My rent was behind and they were threatening to cut off my electricity. So here I was, sitting on his stained orange couch and listening to my new duties.
"All you need to do is drop off what I tell you and collect the money. Don't ask any questions, don't open the packages, and DON'T leave without the money." instructed The Monkey Man.
"What is in the packages?" I asked.
"There's a reason I'm telling you not to look in them. And when I say 'Don't ask any questions', I mean it." he snarled.
"Fine." I said and studied his scratched mirror-top coffee table.
"Also, never give your real name. We'll need to come up with a nickname for you, Peter. Peter...Feeter...Meeter...Teeter...Tweeter. That's your nickname: Tweeter."
"Fucking Tweeter? Come on, man. Give me something cooler than that!"
"Nope, it's close enough to your real name that you'll answer to it without thinking." The Monkey Man handed me a small, plain cardboard box. "Here's your first assignment, Tweeter. The address is on the top, get going."
"What....now? What do I..." I stuttered.
"Get the fuck out of here, they're waiting for you." He snapped and ushered me out the door. As I walked toward the elevator, he yelled down the hall not to forget to collect the money. As I waited for the elevator, I contemplated my new position in life: I was a fucking delivery boy named Tweeter.
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-based on the lyrics to the Headstones "Tweeter and the Monkey Man"
Side note: I really wish I posted this before Jack McCallum's story....
User Reviews
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-10-13 12:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
caught my interest
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And the walls came down.
All the way to Hell.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-12 10:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-11 21:27:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DuiTicket (user info) at 2006-10-11 20:48:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
seems incomplete to me...
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Stay tuned...
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Okay. This is a little light for a chapter, it needs one little extra push. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and wait for the next thing.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-12 10:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-10-12 01:26:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-11 22:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right you are.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-11 21:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DuiTicket (user info) at 2006-10-11 20:48:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
seems incomplete to me...
------------
Stay tuned...
Submitted by DuiTicket (user info) at 2006-10-11 20:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
seems incomplete to me...
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-10-11 20:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-11 19:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good, Susie.
And look O, she said feeter! awww
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-11 18:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, you'll notice that none of the lyrics appear in the story. AND the lyrics barely delved into Tweeter's backstory as I did. Neener neener.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 17:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Canteen Boy's Nemesis: Hey Canteen Boy, I got a real scary ghost story. Once upon a time there was a moron, who always had a stupid canteen wrapped around his neck.
Canteen Boy: I think I've heard this tale before.
Canteen Boy's Nemesis: It was a dark and stormy night, and this moron went into the woods, and a huge bear came up and ripped his head off, just because he looked so stupid! The End!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-11 17:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Thou shalt not suffer a plagiarist to live.'
That's from the Bible.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-11 16:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kinda has a Forrest Gump feel to it
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-11 15:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As I Lay Dying Part 10 is up.