Grueberfest 06: Round Three Matches and Tittles (Wolfman's Got Nards) (1400 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: grueberfest06
Rating: 1.75 on 129 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-10-12 11:06:54 EDT
The bodies just keep dropping, and we're fresh out of graves.
Despite many a forfeit from Round 1, the lot of you that participated in Round 2 brought it and brought it hard. So well done for that.
Some notes from Round 2:
- forensicgirl made magic out of a title that would make a nun cringe.
- BigMike and kaos_king both ran a string of +2s, only one was longer than the other.
- Axolotl has repressed memories of spiders eating his mule.
- The Forfeiting Nancies added an entire horn section to their band.
Unfortunately into every life a little rain must fall (even in San Diego), and some writers were washed away. JMG114, Axolotl, BigMike and sicosemen have fallen into shadow.
And so, now, I bring you the pairings for Round 3, drawn at random, as always, from the Boston Red Sox Hat of When Lost Wants to Show Proof to the Crash Survivors They Have the Others Play a Tape of the 04 World Series Because That's Just How Badass and Unlikely That Noise Was:
Anansie v. HighVoltage900
kaos_king v. Orgasmatron
forensicgirl3 v. Jack_McCallum
AUTHORS MUST GIVE A TITTLE TO THEIR COMPETITIOR BY THE END OF THE DAY.
YES, A TITTLE.
POST THAT TITTLE IN THIS REFERENCE POST.
Given that the number of participants has been dwindling, the schedule for the following rounds has changed a bit. Looks like it'll be finishing up as a three-way, just like last year. Guess it's a tradition now:
Round 3 stories due: 11:59PM Eastern Wednesday OCTOBER 18.
Round 3 voting ends: 11:59PM Eastern, Thursday OCTOBER 19.
Final Round writers announced Friday, OCTOBER 20.
Final Round stories due 10/25.
Winner announced 10/27.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-20 09:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is two rounds in a row that I get matched up against a string of straight +2's. WTF is up with that.
You guys are writing pretty damn well for this thing.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-20 09:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-19 15:56:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll wrestle whoever's in my height class. I'm 5 feet nothing.
WHO WANTS SOME?
Hank Hill's dad.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 19:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just referencing your opponent's status is all. I had to take care of something at work and didn't have time for a full review. So, I settled for that.
Real words will be coming soon though, lovie. I thought you did a good job.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:51:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
You are one lucky bastard, you know that?
======
What does that mean poet man?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 16:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you don't mind fighting someone a few weight/height levels above you, I'm game.
I, however, would destroy you.
That, or we can just change venues for the Anansie/Sacrilicious/forensicgirl/Orgasmatron to-do and have it in a wrestling ring. Either tag teams or tornado style. Whatever.
I'll bring the turnbuckles and baby oil.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-19 15:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll wrestle whoever's in my height class. I'm 5 feet nothing.
WHO WANTS SOME?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 15:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Voting ends tonight, kiddies:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
Time to read some stories now.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 13:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We should take bets. Although I'm pretty sure you could kick my ass.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-19 12:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell, I'll fight you. Pain is yours and my friend.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 12:45:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No takers?
Bastards.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 12:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need someone of equal height, weight, and muscle mass. It could be a fight club, only if I lose, I get to shoot you in the foot.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 12:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, electronically isn't cutting it anymore. Physically. I try to beat up my boyfriend but he laughs at me while holding me back with one hand. It's sad really.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 12:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beat someone's ass physically or electronically?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 12:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a chick to wrestle. I keep getting my ass handed to me by guys. Even the ones that only outweigh me by fifteen or so pounds.
I need to beat someone's ass. Halo 2 isn't cutting it anymore dammit.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 12:04:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, it's all art to me.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:59:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:27:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
You DO realize that she's talking about the Big Show/Rock/Mick Foley/HHH main event from Wrestlemana 17, right?
===
Not in my mind, she's not.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:27:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:16:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:04:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmm fatal four-way.
===
I find Anansie's comments hotter than those of most men on uber.
Is that wrong?
Does it make me gay?
Either way, I'm OK with it.
---
You DO realize that she's talking about the Big Show/Rock/Mick Foley/HHH main event from Wrestlemana 17, right?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:16:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:04:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmm fatal four-way.
===
I find Anansie's comments hotter than those of most men on uber.
Is that wrong?
Does it make me gay?
Either way, I'm OK with it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:54:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Unless everyone's tired of this whole thing and wants to have a fatal four-way.
--
Sounds like a San Francisco bath house c1983..
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:54:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well you're not in the final yet, V-Dog.
Thanks to my fucking up and forgetting about Stag, and then letting BigMike in to face him, we had eight competitors this round. Since all this happened after I posted, the above schedule is wrong.
This round'll whittle the pool down to four, the next'll give us two, and they'll square off in the final round.
Unless everyone's tired of this whole thing and wants to have a fatal four-way.
Whatever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mmmm fatal four-way.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-19 11:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
opponent*
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No I must destroy an opponant! Keep the tourney going.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well you're not in the final yet, V-Dog.
Thanks to my fucking up and forgetting about Stag, and then letting BigMike in to face him, we had eight competitors this round. Since all this happened after I posted, the above schedule is wrong.
This round'll whittle the pool down to four, the next'll give us two, and they'll square off in the final round.
Unless everyone's tired of this whole thing and wants to have a fatal four-way.
Whatever.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really? Damn, now I feel shitty. Dude, I'm sorry. It sucks to win against forfeits. Trust me, I know.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M SO UPSET! I'm in the finals and haven't even knocked ONE person out! God damn it!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The funny thing is, I have all day now to bullshit around. I have to write a short paper, which will take about two hours, then nada.
Timing is a bitch.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahah.
...
ahahahahaha.
...
*runs away*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:37:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think some good stories have come out of this, and for my part, I'm happy to have actually finished two stories in such a short period.
---
I'd think most women would be happy to have a short period.
Way to let Voltage get through another round without a decisive victory. I know he paid you off.
Your two stories were very good. The slaughterhouse tale's one of my favorite from this year's go-round. The Chinese referees would like to "thank you for praying."
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what I wrote on Anansie's post:
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:33:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
You deserved a better sex partner Anansie, and I'm sorry I couldn't get my dick in on time. The truth is, even though I attempted to fuck you, I found it nearly impossible to do so. The thought of my schoolwork piling up my ass was looming in my head, and I just can't justify blowing you off. Not only that, but it was very difficult to ride you when I was worried about other commitments. Good luck in future orgies. Hopefully your next partner will be able to rise.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:33:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
You deserved a better match up voltage, and I'm sorry I couldn't get my entry in on time. The truth is, even though I attempted to write something, I found it nearly impossible to do so. The thought of my schoolwork piling up was looming in my head, and I just can't justify blowing my assignments off. Not only that, but it was very difficult to write fiction when I was worried about other commitments. Good luck in future rounds. Hopefully your next opponent will rise to the occasion.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is what I wrote on Voltage's post.
I'm sorry to all for not participating. What I have written for this round is pretty fucking crappy and nowhere near finished. I will be supportive of everyone in this contest, and continue reading the entries. I think some good stories have come out of this, and for my part, I'm happy to have actually finished two stories in such a short period.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 00:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not like I've been on time with my submissions AT ALL during this whole thing.
Again, I'll gladly take a DQ if it please the court.
Got caught up for most of the night. Now I know what McCallum felt like when he figured he had a half hour to write.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94591
I really need to learn to write these things days before they're due.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-18 23:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94589 Dead men don't dream
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-18 22:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need more time. I have too much homework. If I don't post this tonight, it means I wasn't able to get my other stuff done in time. Apologies if that is the case. I wrote about two pages, but I realize now that what I have written isn't really going to go anywhere.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-18 18:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94581
Jesus. This idea came out of left field as I sat down at the PC this morning and thought, "Whaddamagonnawrite!?!?!?!?!"
Fucking weird.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-18 16:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get yours today at The Container Store.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-18 16:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Organizematron: Not as witty as Orgasmatron, but he can whip your closets and garage into shape in mere minutes.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-18 15:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh great.
GREAT.
Instead of blowing through a short quickie, I find out I have a few hours grace and now I'm on page fucking five.
Jesus.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-18 12:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-18 12:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:56:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
FIRST UP!
GrueberFest 06 R3 - "Disintegration" ... http://www.ubersite.com/m/94486
Actually O-Tron, I took that title AND "Blood Flowers," and "The Hanging Gardens" and threw in "Wish" as well...
I love to try and work all the titles I'm given into a story. Then I wait to see if anybody notices. :)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-18 12:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pee emm?
Oh for FUCK sake...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-18 11:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, 11:59PM. You have until midnight tonight. It's all good.
STOP BREATHING INTO A PAPER BAG.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-18 11:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PM Jack- midnight. Lots of time.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-18 11:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy fuck.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-18 11:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
30 minutes.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-18 11:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have 30 minutes to write a story.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-17 18:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:23:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, I just got even MORE shit to do at work. I'm not gonna forfeit, but all I can post is some lunchtime quickie, so I apologize in advance...
-----------
Now lissen here! Drink some Mountain Dew, have a pot of coffee, fret over everything and nothing simultaneously, and stay up all night. That's what I do.
I WANT MY STORY!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do remember, lads and lasses, there's an extra day this week:
Round 3 stories due: 11:59PM Eastern Wednesday OCTOBER 18.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, I just got even MORE shit to do at work. I'm not gonna forfeit, but all I can post is some lunchtime quickie, so I apologize in advance...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really just not into ubersite right now. But I won't forfeit, dammit. Ugh. I suppose I'll finish out grueberfest, but after that, I might take a break.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94520
Eat it. Eat it with a spoon.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06
Submitted by YellowDragon (user info) at 2006-10-17 03:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Just be sure to identify yourself as coming from Uber. THis is important because every now and then I get obscene e-mails from individuals asking me to hang them from the ceiling and whup their tushies.
I refer them to NAMBLA and tell them that the fine folks there can help them out."
HA! Good call forensicgirl. By the way I love this contest. Wish I'd have seen round one.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Overachievers.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94488
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In celebration of this, KK - on a Night Like This - I'm going to Open up some Pictures of You, print them, Cut them out and keep them so very Close To Me. Then I'll go walk down the Fascination Street of my pants, until it's all Just Like Heaven.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FIRST UP!
GrueberFest 06 R3 - "Disintegration" ... http://www.ubersite.com/m/94486
Actually O-Tron, I took that title AND "Blood Flowers," and "The Hanging Gardens" and threw in "Wish" as well...
Robert Smith of The Cure would jack off to this story.
Don't FUCK with me, O-Tron. DON'T FUCK!
**runs away**
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am so glad we have until Wednesday, because I just got shithammered at work...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-16 02:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*this review. Not "his."
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-16 02:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-13 17:09:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you, ok?
Not only did this make me laugh, but I'm wearing headphones and listening to Nick Cave's Let Love In album. As such, I have no way of knowing how loud I laughed when it came to the beat-tasting part of the story, but I know that it was much, MUCH louder than I'd have laughed if I didn't have music in my ears.
A coworker just came by to ask if I'm ok. Goddamnit.
===============
Ha! I was listening to the same album while I read the post where you left his review.
You're my alter.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-14 20:13:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-Axolotl has repressed memories of spiders eating his mule
-------
I am horrified and appaled at this characterization.
It is all explained here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/94431
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-14 20:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keeping this on most heated so I don't have to label it. Damn I'm lazy.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-10-13 19:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know that I love you, right?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:26:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Anansie - "Specter, Specter On the Wall"
HighVoltage900 - "Dead Men Don't Dream"
kaos_king - "In the Hanging Garden," "Disintegration," or "Bloodflowers"
Orgasmatron - "The Brutality Waltz"
forensicgirl3 - "Osteophage"
Jack_McCallum - "Deadlier Than the Male"
Stagger_Lee - "Cephalomancy" or "A Wicked Wind Blows West"
BigMike - "Don't Go into That Barn"
Three posts on heated. Yeehaw.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:07:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:31:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Wolfman's got nards"
The Monster Squad...
---
WE HAVE A WINNAR! (your +2 has been dished out)
There are still two more quotes/fragments of quotes above.
Anyone know BigMike's contact info so we can relay this to him? I mentioned something on his last post, but who knows when he'll check that.
I'm good. Thanks for including me. Writing my story against kaos was fun and I thought it turned out well.
Barns huh? Fine. I wonder what I'll come up with.
Stagger, you have a choice:
"A Wicked Wind Blows West"
or
"Cephalomancy"
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:31:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Wolfman's got nards"
The Monster Squad...
---
WE HAVE A WINNAR! (your +2 has been dished out)
There are still two more quotes/fragments of quotes above.
Anyone know BigMike's contact info so we can relay this to him? I mentioned something on his last post, but who knows when he'll check that.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-13 05:30:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Stagger_Lee errors
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhhhhh thank you. That feels better.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Wolfman's got nards"
The Monster Squad...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AH FUCK, but they were ALREADY quoting something...what was it?
Goddammit this is gonna kill me tonight, I can tell.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHA! I just remembered! It's been bugging the hell out of me. "Wolfman's got nards" is from Kingdom of Loathing. What do I win?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-13 00:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not BACK in. It is my right as victor.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 23:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:26:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Stagger_Lee -
BigMike -
--
Excellent. Glad these guys are back.
Especially since my entry blew and I'm still in...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Darling, LIFE isn't fair.
Fear not. Nothing cures my hangovers like a little keeping you company.
Speaking of company, I have some. Until tomorrow..or later..whatev.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did your office get blown away or something?
This is unfair.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm drunk. And I'm gonna go get high now.
No work for me tomorrow.
Suckers.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mike, your title is Don't Go Into That Barn.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anansie - "Specter, Specter On the Wall"
HighVoltage900 - "Dead Men Don't Dream"
kaos_king - "In the Hanging Garden," "Disintegration," or "Bloodflowers"
Orgasmatron - "The Brutality Waltz"
forensicgirl3 - "Osteophage"
Jack_McCallum - "Deadlier Than the Male"
Stagger_Lee -
BigMike -
All apologies for fucking this up.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No harm no foul.
I'll take on BigMike, he didn't deserve to lose on a straight 2 anyway. Somebody tell him.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somebody needs to do a rethink.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, Stag, since I clearly forgot about you I'll give you one of three choices:
- You can take my spot against kaos. Serves me right for not paying attention to everything.
- I can draw an existing pair at random and add you to it for a threeway.
- I can give the highest rated loser from Round 2 a pass (BigMike) and you can square off against him.
Sorry about all this.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:22:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahem...
WHY THE FUCK AM I OUT OF THIS?
---
Balls.....
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:14:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-11 16:52:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, now I want to watch Ladyhawke.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OMFG MARRY ME.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're telling me.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:58:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:22:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahem...
WHY THE FUCK AM I OUT OF THIS?
=====
Uh oh.
That's a problem.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Answer me, cowardly Yankee.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahem...
WHY THE FUCK AM I OUT OF THIS?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie your title is "Specter Specter on the wall"
LOLMEZER ANANSIE I WANT U 2 DO REEL WELL BUT IMA GONNA WEEN THEES!!!!111!!!!111!!1!!!carthaginianwhorestastesomethinawful!!!1!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I lost with a solid +2.
Bummer. Nice job kaos.
Good luck all.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:55:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just be sure to identify yourself as coming from Uber. THis is important because every now and then I get obscene e-mails from individuals asking me to hang them from the ceiling and whup their tushies.
--
Being a girl must suck sometimes.
ALWAYS having guys comment on your ass or your hair or try to hit on you or make obscene noises while giving you a once-over.
Hell, I haven't had to deal with any of that since I moved out of San Francisco...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HighVoltage: Your title is "Dead Men Don't Dream"
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Brutality Waltz, all the way.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
O-Tron...
"The Brutality Waltz" or "A Genocide Cocktail"
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:55:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:41:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
I would like to say, for the record, that Voltage wears nylons and A-line dresses when he comes home from work
--
Is he dressed like that as he walks through the door, or does he change after he gets home?
---
That's between him and his employer. And his boyfriend.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KITTY CATS!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude! Although I'm not a repository for answers to sick and twisted questions, I do know a thing or two about a thing or two. And, if I don't know the answer, I've got about a half dozen doctor friends I hang out with that I can ask for you. By now, they're used to me coming up with sick shit to meditate on.
I'm so very lucky I haven't been locked up.
mail anytime: forensicgirl3.at.yahoo.com
Just be sure to identify yourself as coming from Uber. THis is important because every now and then I get obscene e-mails from individuals asking me to hang them from the ceiling and whup their tushies.
I refer them to NAMBLA and tell them that the fine folks there can help them out.
I wouldn't want to send you that link in my response e-mail.
QUIT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:41:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
I would like to say, for the record, that Voltage wears nylons and A-line dresses when he comes home from work
--
Is he dressed like that as he walks through the door, or does he change after he gets home?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:36:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
"All Cats are Grey"
--
Translated into American...
"All Cats are Gray"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:37:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny, I was just pondering if you could open someone up, remove an organ, wait a while, and then put it back without them knowing about it. Say, telling them they had a quarter stuck down there or something.
Why? It would just be something interesting to do.
--
Yeah, whenever I ask my eye doc or GP questions for stories* I get weird looks, but no solid answers. I don't care if you think I'm insane, just ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!
*(1) How long could you 'borrow' a living eye before having to put it back in time to avoid permanent damage? (2) My old favorite... Could the human mouth generate enough suction to suck an eyeball out of a socket?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would like to say, for the record, that Voltage wears nylons and A-line dresses when he comes home from work.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to say that despite never actually knocking anyone out of the competition, all my entries have been solid +2's.
That is all.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I knew the basic definition. I thought to myself "wow."
Then I thought I had gone insane. Again. I thought, (to myself) "I do not think it means what you think it means" and so to reassure myself that I hadn't gone whirly, I reasearched it.
Yeah, I was right but then I thought to myself "wow" again.
Funny, I was just pondering if you could open someone up, remove an organ, wait a while, and then put it back without them knowing about it. Say, telling them they had a quarter stuck down there or something.
Why?
It would just be something interesting to do.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ghola - "All Cats are Grey" or "Trust"
Unless someone else wants to give you a title. You're welcome to do whatever you like.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still playing damnit. Pencil me in under "losers that forfeited."
Now give me my honorary title.
(Please)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:21:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
the lot of you that participated in Round 2 brought it and brought it hard
==================================================
he he. You said hard.
---
Now you said hard.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm feeling kind of Cure-y, kaos.
Your choices are: "In the Hanging Garden," "Disintegration," and "Bloodflowers."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:16:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha
By now I've researched the title a little.
Jack, how in the hell did you come up with that?
Dude!
--
RESEARCH?
You're a Forensic Girl! You should have read that title and INSTANTLY had multiple organisms and stuff.
I thought you'd like it...
Oh, and my head is full of useless shit like that. Thank God for Uber.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the lot of you that participated in Round 2 brought it and brought it hard
==================================================
he he. You said hard.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha
By now I've researched the title a little.
Jack, how in the hell did you come up with that?
Dude!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've spent the entire fucking day (so far) at work doing nothing but work. No writing, no screwing around on the net, and I have another hour or two worth of work ahead of me.
Man, working for a living blows.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just noticed that girl has a tattoo of American Mcgee's version of the chesire cat. Sweet.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82598#1791860
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:05:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok Jack here's the deal
We all know that you can wipe the floor with my ass
----
This coming from the girl who came up with:
Slitting someone's belly
Filling it with dirt
Growing mushrooms in it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Drink some cranberry juice, Anansie.
Eat yogurt with active cultures.
Show that bladder infection who's in charge of your no-no zone.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok Jack here's the deal
We all know that you can wipe the floor with my ass
and since I know that you are also wrapped up in Ubermadness
here is your customed designed title (one very near and dear to my heart)
ready? You sure? Ok
"Deadlier than the male"
Do me proud, Baby.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-12 13:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well that's nice of you to say, Captain.
I managed to get that story done and cram enough information in my head to ace my midterm, all in one night. Damn I'm awesome.
So awesome it hurts.
When I pee.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-12 13:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My money's on Anansie winning this little slaughterfest.
Can those of us not participating submit title suggestions?
If so, here's a few ideas:
Xenophobe
Brats, Beer, and Baby Batter
Bile, You Were Sleeping
You've Got Hate Mail
Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease
Insomnia
Tickle Me, Elmo!
The Beast Within
Urban Assassin
Trim Up The Tree
Grout and Grime
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-12 12:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm kind of hungover. Give me a while to come up with a title that doesn't blow.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 12:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the pan-fried fuck...?
I thought I was dead and gone?
Forensic, since you did such an incredible job with that last shit title, you deserve a slow underhand pitch. Not because you are a girl, but because you worked your ass off last time.
Remember, I'm still concentrating on Ubermadness, so anything I do here will be a quickie, so to speak. You are going to kick my ass.
Your custom-designed title is... 'Osteophage.'
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This round had some great entries.
That picture is hot. CR is beautiful.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Repressed memories: http://www.ubersite.com/m/93224
I'm probably better off with time to concentrate on Uberbaness.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:21:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like dead people.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
meaning yes, I'll play
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Naw, I'll take my beating like a man.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Forfeiting seems to be all the rage these days (stupid UberMadness).
Do you want to be trendy and just like everyone else, or a trend SETTER?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw fook me, I'm up against Jack?!
SHould I forfeit now, or actually attempt to make a post?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about I give you the buckwheats instead?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You want +2s? Identify the movie quotes above.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-10-12 11:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stab your asshole with a knife