Old people and why I will never become one (687 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.21 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Aubrey <Aubs2o04.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-10-12 13:49:07 EDT
Accidents by elderly drivers who police suspect momentarily confused the gas pedal for the brake, or accelerated in the wrong gear
Here is just a small list of the damage that these elderly persons do.
Age 89, Dearborn, Mich. Backed into his own garage, panicked, accelerated into a neighbor's house across the street, July.
Age 89, New London, Conn. Plowed through a summer festival crowd, injuring 27, July
Age 89, Rochester, N.Y. Plowed full-throttle through an open-air market, injuring 10, August
Age 87, Orlando Slammed into eye doctor's office, July
Age 86, Brookfield, Wis. Drove through front doors of a McDonald's, August
Age 86, Columbus, Ohio. Crashed fatally through the wall of an aquarium supply store, July);
Age 85, El Monte, Calif. Slammed into a Starbuck's patio, injuring 10, July
Age 84, Tamarac, Fla. Backed over her landlord, then panicked and drove over him again, then panicked and backed over him again, with one of the drive-overs fatal, July
Am I the only person that thinks that anyone of the age of 70 should have to take a drivers test over again? I've already been in two accidents with persons older than 70 where I was not at fault. Once they rear-ended me going 40 mph. The next time I was parked and getting out of my car when they were backing up out a parking spot and slammed my rear-end.
The second time when I was parked I got out of my car and walked up to the old man and asked him his age. He said "82" I then proceeded to tell him that all elderly people should be thrown in a pit and left to decay in peace, away from the common world so we don't have to feel the effects of their degrading. He went back to his car to sulk about the good bitching out I gave him, and I called the cops.
I know you may be thinking "But hey, aren't you going to get old too?" And I have taken that into consideration, but I don't plan on living past the ripe age of 50... 60 maybe. The day will come, when I know its time to go. Ill got off and purchase as many different kinds of drugs as I can get, ranging from good old Mary Jane too peyote. After taking in all these substances I plan to slip of into a nice drug-induced coma and leaving this world.
Thus, Old people should be banned from existence.
User Reviews
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-13 16:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Test people over 70 before letting them drive? Absolutely!
It's doing them a service really. As you age, you senses slowly degrade over time. The individual often doesn't notice any difference, but a test could flag potential hazards.
Course, a lot of old people start driving on an expired license around mid 60's, so it probably wouldn't make much differnce.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-10-13 06:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY!!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-13 06:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-13 05:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't like the way old people don't say 'thank you' when you hold the door for them. That generation has no respect.
Oh well a young man ain't got nothin' in the world these days
I said a young man ain't got nothin' in the world these days
You know in the old days
When a young man was a strong man
All the people they'd step back
When a young man walked by
But you know nowadays
It's the old man,
He's got all the money
And a young man ain't got nothin' in the world these days
I said nothing
Everybody knows that a young man ain't got nothin'.
Everybody!
Everybody knows that a young man ain't got nothin'
He got nothin'
Nothin'
Take it easy on the young man
They ain't got nothin' in the world these days
I said they ain't got nothin'!
They got sweet fuck-all!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-13 05:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Age 84, Tamarac, Fla. Backed over her landlord, then panicked and drove over him again, then panicked and backed over him again, with one of the drive-overs fatal, July
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The first one?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-13 05:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Age 87, Orlando Slammed into eye doctor's office, July
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Ironic
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-10-13 05:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is selective evidence. I mean how many teenagers have driven into bus stops, mowing down pedestrians? How many truck drivers fall asleep at the wheel?
I think you'll find that most accidents or people killed by cars involve no old people at all.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thus, Old people should be banned from existence.
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I guess that eventually, they will be.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My grandfather stopped in the middle of the highway so he could get out and stretch his legs.
We had to put him down recently.....
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my friend was jogging on the side of a road and got hit by a 93 year old woman driving a gigantic buick.
said woman then denied hitting my friend (even though there were witnesses at the scene)
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ill have to remember that one MyTeeOne
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've been known to yell out the window "Give it some gas or pull over and die, just get the fuck out of my way."
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-12 16:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good to hear, I was worried there for a sec.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:45:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, it would bring me great pleasure to film it, someone else might as well get a laugh out of my death. BTW, the combo of drugs I would take and the spacing out of time would assure than It wasnt a complete overload all at once, but a gradual fading away.
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A tip, then. Drink some milk or eat some yummy pudding while doing this. It will give your stomach something to work on.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Susie, I exagerated.... Im really not as much a bitch as I let on.... really.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, it would bring me great pleasure to film it, someone else might as well get a laugh out of my death. BTW, the combo of drugs I would take and the spacing out of time would assure than It wasnt a complete overload all at once, but a gradual fading away.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have nothing to contribute to this.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree there should be testing past a certain age. However, you shouldn't ignore the amount of idiots under the age of 65 cause accidents. All the accidents I've been in (none have been caused by me) have been with men age 20-50. None were paying attention to the road: one saw an imaginary green light, one was searching on his passenger floor for something with his foot off the brake, one was looking the other way when coming to a stoplight and the last was on his cell phone.
I must add here that if anyone said to my grandfather what you said to that elderly man, I'd curbstomp them. I understand you were upset he'd hit your car, but damn....
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know you may be thinking "But hey, aren't you going to get old too?" And I have taken that into consideration, but I don't plan on living past the ripe age of 50... 60 maybe. The day will come, when I know its time to go. Ill got off and purchase as many different kinds of drugs as I can get, ranging from good old Mary Jane too peyote. After taking in all these substances I plan to slip of into a nice drug-induced coma and leaving this world.
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Can you do a live video feed of this? I'm sure lots of people would get a blast out of watching you crawl across the floor in a stupor choking to death on aspirated vomit as your stomach rejects that medly of drugs...
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:50:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
livEvil, Leary was a great man. And yes, Great minds think alike.
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Glad we can relate.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-10-12 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I the only person that thinks that anyone of the age of 70 should have to take a drivers test over again?"
Nope. They should.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
livEvil, Leary was a great man. And yes, Great minds think alike.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
old people suck at driving. its a fact. South Park said so.
Wheres Country Kitchen Buffet again?
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because on Christmas Eve of 2005 an 86yr old, cataract ridden lady crossed into oncoming traffic and hit me head on.
After I climbed out of my driver's side window and called her a filthy cunt, I asked her what the fuck she was thinking. Her response? "<shrug> These things sometimes just happen".
Fuck her and her Christmas ham.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the sad thing is that most of the old fucks would drive anyways, even if they didn't have a license. Old people are always stubborn that way. Multiple high fives to this article.
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i agree 100000%
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I couldn't agree more. I think they should get sent to the North Pole to finally meet Santa.
They say that great minds think alike. Have you heard of Timothy Leary? He was an advocate for drugs in the 60's and 70's who went to Harvard, I believe, and that's exactly how he wanted to go.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, exactly how I feel DrSeussman.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
people in general should have to retake a driving test every 5 years. age 65+ should be every two years with mandatory vision, peripheral included, every year.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's what I'm always saying... Why cut yourself when you can OD on heroin?
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING A MAN! I plan on trippy lots of illicit drugs and sitting on my porch. I don't plan on driving, taking trips, spending time in a home, or any of that shit! I figure when it hurts to pee, put me in the goddamned pine box! Oh Oh Oh, I can't have any salt.
<--shoot this fucker now!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-12 14:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They should build a statue of the guy that took out the Starbucks.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-12 13:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I really need to read my stuff through before I submit it. I caught like 5 spelling errors. Damn my lazy ways.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-10-12 13:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In the UK people over a ceetain age (I think 70) have to retake their drivers test every so many years.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-12 13:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In my hometown an old lady was visiting the middle school and backed into a pack of kids at about twenty miles an hour. A couple of them died.
Then again, my grandmother is 80 and drives better than a lot of people I know.