Weeping Willow (1758 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.03 on 142 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-12 16:51:11 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
(10 bytes) [text/uberhtml]- VS -
Entry 2
"What country is it that has a weeping willow on their flag?" my friend Mike asked me."I dunno. Lebanon?" I guessed.
"Nah. That's a cypress." he answered.
"Why do you ask?" I replied.
He began to tell his tale.
About a month ago, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen. Nothing was ransacked. In fact, I wouldn't have even known about if it weren't for the broken cellar window. Thinking nothing of it, I just fixed the window, and went on with my life.
Yesterday, when I got my mail, there was a letter in it with no return address. It was postmarked from in town here.
I opened up the envelope, and all that it contained was a picture. The picture was taken in my bathroom. It was of some dude, with a hairy ass, bent over. The kicker is that my toothbrush was jammed halfway into the guys ass.
"So, what does this have to do with weeping willow flags?" I asked him.
He just shrugged.
Entry 1:
apollo88
AsshOly
BadAssJulie
BadSamaritan87
Bigmike
bob
Coyote
darko
Davros
EchoBoxing
Exodus
Foolproof
FunnyAsCancer
Genko
goferforhire
Hirilnara
intellismartness
Jack_Burton
jgreening
JonnyX
Kent_Weirdo
LSD420
Maltese
Method
MyNameIsTim
NerfHerder
Orgasmatron
rad1101
redskieslookfake
Serious_Melvin
Shaun_Rocks
Spam
Stagger_Lee
Targa
Wiggles
WingedFoote
33 eligible votes (36 total) *
Entry 2:
Acarnis
Amontillado
Anansie
Antioxident
awesome_face
Axolotl
barnaclebill
bart
Bellebrown
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Bubba2341
CHR15
Chroniclysm
Circe
Cracked_out_cali
DeadHorse
Dexter-Brown
EatMeCompletely
ghola
gravitas
helbling
HighVoltage900
HotWillie
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
JoeyG
justagirl27
Kre8rix
Magicaddict
maiorano84
MandaPanda
messmind
orph
ParlorTrick
peckerhead
polyamorousaj
satchel
scourge
Sepsis
sicosemen
Snark
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
St_Jimmy
stevie_says
Susie_Derkins
The_taste_of_Monkeys
TheSpook
thorpe
yhywstudios
47 eligible votes (50 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-02-19 19:35:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha nice tie in to the title.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Submitted by Still-Life (user info) at 2006-10-13 16:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuuckin whiners.
TO me, Ubermadness is a contest. It serves many purposes. Firstly, to find the best writer on ubersite. Sure, little Timmy might write well about one subject, or he might write well in one style, but does that make him the best? No. What if another is almost as good in all forms?
Its also about growth- facing tough opponets, trying new things. Expanding your horizons. Sometimes you don't get a title that you like but you just have to make due with what you've got. If you can overcome the challenge you've come out a better writer, if you don't you've still got a lesson learned to apply in the future.
If everyone wants to whine and cry about titles and shit, don't enter UM. Keep posting your same stories in your same style with the same subject and then you can keep patting yourself on the back and proclaim your own greatness. Or you can challenge yourself and your ability and possibly come out of UM with a positive experience. In essence: step up or step off.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-13 14:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But I LIKED BOTH OF THESE!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-10-13 13:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im the last um, if the forfeit beat #2, then a new person would replace both of them...
dont know if that option is available during this one.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-13 12:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually enjoyed No. 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:41:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:56:57 (#)
Ranking: -2
there should be a third voting option: Vote for both lazy authors to jump off a bridge
______________________________
I agree. We should be able to vote for "none of the above". In the event "none of the above" gets the most votes, both authors take a loss.
---
Agreed.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:56:57 (#)
Ranking: -2
there should be a third voting option: Vote for both lazy authors to jump off a bridge
______________________________
I agree. We should be able to vote for "none of the above". In the event "none of the above" gets the most votes, both authors take a loss.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Forfeit :( was better.
I do not endorse entry 2.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God, you people are a bunch of losers.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by barnaclebill (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice way to take advantage of a forfeit
Submitted by DeadHorse (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2006-10-13 11:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2006-10-13 10:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-13 10:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not even going to bother voting on this match...the story reads like it was done two minutes before the deadline anyway.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2006-10-13 10:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-10-13 10:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-13 10:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-13 10:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-13 10:16:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS WAS SO FUNNY.
I AM VERY IMPRESSED WITH YOUR WIT.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-10-13 10:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
there should be a third voting option: Vote for both lazy authors to jump off a bridge
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by yhywstudios (user info) at 2006-10-13 09:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-13 06:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-10-13 06:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i almost missed this gem !
Submitted by helbling (user info) at 2006-10-13 05:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Seemed to be almost a choice of two forfeits...
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-10-13 04:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-13 04:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I refuse to vote on this match
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-13 04:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry two was worse.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-13 04:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-13 03:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF?
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-13 03:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Va?
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-13 03:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I hate you #2, and this is what I'm doing about it.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-13 03:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah dude, honestly, I'd rather let Matt go on to forfeit again in Round 3, than let this guy get another whack.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And also, I would rather not let somebody with so little respect for the competition advance, even if against a forfeit. I understand that most of the people in this competition couldnt write their way out of elementary school, but this is bullshit. I dont want to see this shit in round three and if I take time out of my life to put effort into a story and then go up against something like this, I'm going to kill somebody. I would rather face a forfeit than a toothbrush up the ass.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:17:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark is correct in his style of voting. You just simply don't vote for a forfeit. I appreciate the healthy defiance, but the fact remains that my opponent put more effort into his post than I did.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You put more effort into this post just by reviewing it. I stand by my vote.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow. that's all I can say.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn. Gheyed.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-10-13 02:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alright guys, I'm gonna come clean on this one.
This Ubermadness post was supposed to be my matchup, but I was hoping that by forfeiting I would finally be able to lose and be done with it, even if it meant me losing any chance for a slot in the next Ubermadness.
I don't want to compete anymore. I don't have the time. Period.
If this review means me getting disqualified, I'm happy.
I WANT MY OPPONENT TO WIN THIS MATCHUP. DO NOT VOTE FOR THE FORFEIT. I DON'T CARE HOW BAD YOU THINK HIS POST WAS, IT'S BETTER THAN THE WORD "FORFEIT".
Snark is correct in his style of voting. You just simply don't vote for a forfeit. I appreciate the healthy defiance, but the fact remains that my opponent put more effort into his post than I did.
There are a lot of things going on in my life right now where I just don't have the time or the energy to write for Ubermadness. Thank you so much for having the energy to actually try and get a forfeit to win, but please stop.
Sometimes forfeits are forfeits for a reason.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-10-13 01:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THESE FORFEITS ARE CONFUSING
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-10-13 01:33:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-10-13 01:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it's too bad that I have to vote for this. It's too bad that ANYONE has to vote for this. I'm still voting for entry 1.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-13 01:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I had Paypal, I'd so put "Vote entry 1! Make losing to a forfeit forever known as a "Weeping Willow!" on the Uberboard.
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2006-10-13 01:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-10-13 00:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
at least he/she tried
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-13 00:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-13 00:08:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark, I'm going to read some of your stuff.
You tell a beautiful story, brother.
GO FORFEIT!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, he's a gigantic asshole, but I honestly like this guy.
Cancer is right...this forfeit needs to win.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-13 00:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I saw a porno with the same story, except it was a hot maid who put the toothbrush up her ass.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-13 00:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I should have read #2, and realised that what FunnyAsCancer was right.
Come on Entry 1.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-13 00:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark, I'm going to read some of your stuff.
You tell a beautiful story, brother.
GO FORFEIT!!!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-13 00:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-12 23:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
People, people, PEOPLE!
We're all missing the point here.
#1 has to win. If just to say for the rules of UM V..."You *can* lose to a forfeit. We call it a 'Weeping Willow.'"
It's beautiful. "Weeping Willow." It sounds EXACTLY like the type of thing we should call losing to a forfeit.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-12 23:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 23:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't answer one of your assumptions.
I would not vote twice for a post.
In the case of a tie, my existing vote (being last years Uberlord) would count for 1.5 votes and the winner would be the person I already voted for.
Am I skewing the possible outcome towards the person who didn't forfeit? It could turn out that way. Once again, I'm rewarding effort. I do not apolagize for doing so.
Submitted by Exodus (user info) at 2006-10-12 23:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Muahaha awesomeness i should so do that to one of my friends.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 23:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:47:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:22:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
We have all types of people on uber.
We have all types of people on the committee.
Seems about right to me.
---------------------------------------------
Which is exactly why I say this is a shit-fest. Why would anyone expect to have a seriously decent writing contest on uber?
Uber is an open chatroom, basically, and on any given day the front page has a lot of shit. It's just a lot of average people passing the day at work.
So what? It is what it is. Nothing wrong with that at all.
I was just laughing when JMG said on another post there were uberers who were 'almost-can-bes.'
That's funny to me. Getting published ain't horseshoes, pal.
As for JonnyX being on the committee, well, that's laughable because it makes me laugh.
Plus, you guys went through all the rigamarole of actually judging entries and then it didn't even matter because they all got in and you had to go begging for participants.
Then you have a shitload of terrible entries, and a bunch of forfeits.
That's funny.
It's a shit-fest all the way around, which is not a terrible thing. It makes for great comedy.
Somebody should write a UM entry about it. Fictionalize it and parody the hell out of it.
In fact, if you had a sense of humor, you could name it Shit-Fest Madness.
No offense to you Snark.
======================
None taken, but lets take a look at things...
Are people involved in the contest taking it seriously?
Yep, they are in a contest. Some people are competitors regardless of the scope or percieved importance of the competition they are in. They play to win. Nothing wrong with that. At least I hope so, that's how I aproached it last year.
Some people don't take it seriously at all and there's nothing wrong with that as well. As you said, this is Uber. We wouldn't have had 'Soup's On Bitches' if not for Uber being what it is.
I'm all for that too.
As far as the initial judging goes. It was used for seeding and judging by the first matchups, I would do it that way again.
So we have forfeits. Look at past years. We ALWAYS have forfeits. It's part of the tourney and will probably always will be, and every year people yell "Holy Fuck! Forfeits! This is a SHITFEST!" and then the tourney goes regardless on and some very cool stuff comes out of it. That's Ubermadness. What's the big deal?
On the topic of post quality: Nothing has changed here either. Are there shitty stories in the first rounds? Yep, always have been and next round there will be too. Ever watch a season of hockey? How many games are truly good games in the course of a season? How much does the action heat up towards the end of the season? The real good stuff comes from the teams who make it to the end, just like the really good stuff will come from the contestants in this years tourney who make it to the last few rounds. That's just a competition man.
Getting published ain't horseshoes. I'll probably never be published as will very few of the people who write on this site, but you need to open your mind a little. There are some people on this site who have been published. It's far and few between but it happens.
Ubersite is good for fart jokes and general fuckwittery and god bless it, but it's also what you make of it. Some of us post stories. That's what the site is for for us. It's a practice ground. There's as much a place here for that as there is in Re: 16 yr olds. Sure you won't get the hits from a story like you would one of those posts unless you are extraordinarily talented (ie Bickerstaff) but you WILL get feedback (useful and otherwise)from people who enjoy writing. For me and others, that's good enough.
I don't recall begging for participants. I made it possible for more to join. I waived some of the stricter rules and I extended deadlines, but in truth, I would have made this happen if there were 12 people in it. Hell, I don't think I said as much as "Please join, we need people."
I did however try to get people excited about UM IV, no denying that.
There is no collusion regarding mine or Barts voting. There is no secret plan, and no discussions have happened between the two of us regarding any type of voting strategy. I voted for the forfeits when I saw them up. I didn't look to see which was winning and couldn't see which was winning until after I voted.
It's that simple.
I've done my best to handle the competition in a straight forward, honest, and laid back (once we got the fucker off the ground) way. Ask the committee how much time we spend discussing UM. I think we are at about 2 emails a week or so.
This response is the most I've thought about it since before round 1.
This is happening on a volunteer basis from people you have never met and have no vested interest in your life and who will get nothing out of it at all. They're doing it for a variety of their own reasons but also (I believe) because it brings something new to the usual stuff on the site and - once in awhile - something very cool.
So between the two of us, who's taking this too seriously.
Relax, kick back and feel free to ignore the posts with the yellow M friend, if they aren't your thing - or better yet - wade through the bad ones to find the good ones, much like you do every day with every other post on this site.
There's no drama here except for what you make yourself.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
har
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:30:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beautiful!
I'm not going back to check, but I don't think Bart or Snark voted at all until the forfeits started almost winning.
I smell collusion to avoid shame!
Of course, I didn't go back and check each one, but I only saw Bart vote once before in this round, for himself I'm assuming.
And if forfeits can win, then Snark should reserve his vote for TIES ONLY, which he asserted was his decision, since he knows who was assigned which title.
Because in case of a tie, he will otherwise be casting two votes for the same entry.
I don'r know if a forfeit has actually won before, but I think Snark and Bart, the only two people, supposedly, who know which titles went to which matchup, would find it embarrassing and have engaged in chicanery to make sure thet toothbrush-up-the-ass entry beats the forfeit.
THIS VIOLATES THE EQUAL PROTECTION CLAUSE OF THE 14TH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION OF THESE UNITED STATES BITCHES!!
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, FUCKING FLORIDA???
HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE THE MEMORY OF THOSE WHO DIED SO YOU COULD FUCK OFF AT WORK???
I carry a dog eared copy of that beautiful document in my panties, and whenever I pull it out everyone within fifty yards faints from it's power.
Don't think I won't empty my drawers on this site.
This forfeit represents all that is good and pure in this great land of ours, and on this fucking retarded web site.
I demand a complete recount of all the votes cast by elderly Jews in Broward County!
FOR GOD'S SAKES, THINK OF THE IRAQI CHILDREN!
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-12 22:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Looking at this objectively, sorry Snark, he's right.
I mean, when we first saw the Round 1 match-ups, I saw I was up against Jpeg, and I said to myself, "Didn't he forfeit last year? And didn't they say forfeits will not be asked back? Weren't they really adamant about that?"
And none of it's really any of your control, I know. You need 64, or 32, or 16 entrants, cause otherwise the bracket format is fucked. So you have to go back on your aforementioned policies to fill the slots. And then the people you let back in, though you know you shouldn't have, they fuck right up again.
The whole situation is so futile, it's hysterical.
Me? Why am I in this then? Cause it's fucking Ubermadness. I've been in every one since I got here, and I've tried my damnedest every time. Just cause the quality's gone downhill is no reason for me to stop trying to improve myself through competition.
Personally, I think for UM5, you keep the brackets, lose the forced titles. Cause that's why people forfeit, or write shitty entries, cause they can't form a link to the title. And who writes like that anyways, around a title? Just let the people free-write whatever they want, bracket-style, I guarantee you'll get better stories.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:22:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
We have all types of people on uber.
We have all types of people on the committee.
Seems about right to me.
---------------------------------------------
Which is exactly why I say this is a shit-fest. Why would anyone expect to have a seriously decent writing contest on uber?
Uber is an open chatroom, basically, and on any given day the front page has a lot of shit. It's just a lot of average people passing the day at work.
So what? It is what it is. Nothing wrong with that at all.
I was just laughing when JMG said on another post there were uberers who were 'almost-can-bes.'
That's funny to me. Getting published ain't horseshoes, pal.
As for JonnyX being on the committee, well, that's laughable because it makes me laugh.
Plus, you guys went through all the rigamarole of actually judging entries and then it didn't even matter because they all got in and you had to go begging for participants.
Then you have a shitload of terrible entries, and a bunch of forfeits.
That's funny.
It's a shit-fest all the way around, which is not a terrible thing. It makes for great comedy.
Somebody should write a UM entry about it. Fictionalize it and parody the hell out of it.
In fact, if you had a sense of humor, you could name it Shit-Fest Madness.
No offense to you Snark.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I meant in my UM entries. But you wouldn't know who I am there.
But you're right. You're harsh, but you're not -2ing me. I was wrong, my bad.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We have all types of people on uber.
We have all types of people on the committee.
Seems about right to me.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 21:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FunnyAsCancer
I don't actually think I've ever read or rated anything of yours.
Show me where I've ever rated you at all. Just curious.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm reading HotWillie's comments, and although I think he's a jerk, cause he always -2s my entries, saying they're crap...
I couldn't help but agree with him on JonnyX being on the committee.
JonnyX is an asshole. Why you would let a guy like him (a girl like her, I still don't know) have any sort of say on anything in this competition, boggles the mind.
Need an objective fact, to back up my statement? Here's something from my round 1 entry, "Clawhammer:"
"Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:59:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
These were BOTH LONG, BORING, and STUPID.
For next time, remember:
CONFLICT --> ACTION --> RESOLUTION.
Is that so damn hard?"
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93570#2158545
Meanwhile, the most seriously trained writers on this site, JMG, Bigmike, Jack, Razor, all said my entry was awesome. I'm not tooting my own horn here, that's a fact.
And here's Jonny-DoubleXChrom, bitchin about literary form like he's been teaching at Yale for twenty years.
Seriously, the only person I could think of that would have been worse on the committee, is PFF.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yep, it's possible to lose to a forfeit.
It's nothing new. We get forfeits every year.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GO FORFEIT!!!!
No rules, baby!
Snark and JonnyX don't know the rules, so throw the bitches out!
(the rules, I mean)
GO FORFEIT!!!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:19:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
go forfeit
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i can't not vote for a forfeit
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IX. What happens if my opponent doesn't submit by the due date?
Your opponent forfeits and is not invited to next years contest.
X. Woohoo! Free ticket to the next round!
Not so fast buddy. People still have the option to vote for either your post or the word forfeit.
XI. So you're telling me I can lost to a forfeit? That's crap!
No, it's not. If you can't beat the word forfeit with a little sad face next to it, you certainly aren't going to be able to beat some of the heavy hitters in this tournament.
______________________________________________
I want the forfeit to win so bad my clit is tingling.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you Snark. I understand your position.
I just thought it was funny that a forfeit was close to getting more votes than a valid (ha ha) entry.
It just seemed funny (ha ha) you would vote against forfeits after not voting for anything else.
If they're out of the contest, what's the point, unless to bolster the credibility (ha ha) of the competition?
But at least you argue with a minimum of profanity and name calling, which I find sophomoric and the usual method of sparring on ubersite.
I did think I remembered reading in the official rules that a forfeit could actually beat an entry if the forfeit garnered more votes.
My mistake, if untrue.
Perhaps it was all that red meat I ate this morning after assuming my position at the breakfast table.
I still think the contest this round has produced, at most, a handful of truly good entries.
Hence, the term 'shit-fest.'
My apologies if I have offended thee.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:47:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:39:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Snark, my dear boy, please direct me to the non forfeit matchup in the second round on which you've cast a vote, and perhaps I shall apologize for my assumption.
===================
Huh?
You mean the tie breaker?
Previous years Uberlord breaks ties. It's been that way in every Ubermadness but the first to my knowledge.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, what the hell. I'll address the voting issue.
I made a personal decision not to vote on ongoing rounds.
I have been given the directive to do so from Razor whos contest this is, but I feel it opens the door to questions of fairness given I know who got what title.
I don't know exactly which story belongs to whom but one could argue that I could easily figure it out with a little research.
It's a valid point in my humble opinion.
Forfeits are another matter altogether. The person forfeiting is out of the tournament.
I have done my utmost best to help people who have had technical difficulties etc... but there's some situations I can't help. Such as someone deciding to post at 12:01 and my not realizing that they (out of two people) were the one who got labeled the forfeitererer as seems to have possiblly happened.
The person who didn't forfeit at least put in effort. Not ALOT in some cases but something.
That's what my vote goes to: Effort.
I don't see how that is a bad thing or how my vote is going to swing things either way.
Close calls are between two good stories in my experience. My vote isn't going to decidee whether someone loses to a forfeit or not.
Also, I poked myself in the brain with a pencil this morning.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Snark, my dear boy, please direct me to the non forfeit matchup in the second round on which you've cast a vote, and perhaps I shall apologize for my assumption.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When we Assume, we make and Ass out of Vegans everywhere... or however that saying goes.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Snarkie,
I just didn't see you vote on the regular matches, which I assumed was so you could remain impartial since you are the Dick Cheney of ubermadness, senatorially speaking.
Since you break ties, I would think that was the wise decision, not to vote un;ess one occurred.
Otherwise, you would be voting twice for an entry in case of a tie.
Normally, that is how those things are done.
I have only seen you vote against forfeits, which I find funny.
As I do any contest which includes JonnyX as a judge.
Just an opinion, old bean.
My votes don't even count here.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:40:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha Ha.
Snark suddenly starts voting to make sure the forfeits don't win.
You guys are hysterical.
Don't you break ties?
That would be voting twice for the same entry, right?
Like I said, a shit-fest.
But fun to watch, I'll give you that.
===================
Huh?
Do you have any idea what you are talking about?
Reading the above is like I would imagine it would look like to watch words shoot out of someone nose.
Buncha mistaken assumptions that should never have seen the light of day.
Put them back in the ole brainpan son, they ain't done cookin yet.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-10-12 19:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel violated.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:32:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:27:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Did the committee need your sage advice and wisdom too badly to allow your ass-kicking participation?
------
Nope, I wasn't allowed to participate, since I helped judge the original entries.
---------------------------------------------
Thank you for proving my point.
SHIT-FEST!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha Ha.
Snark suddenly starts voting to make sure the forfeits don't win.
You guys are hysterical.
Don't you break ties?
That would be voting twice for the same entry, right?
Like I said, a shit-fest.
But fun to watch, I'll give you that.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:27:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:16:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:30:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is why I laughed at your comments, JMG and Jack. Because of shit like this.
You couldn't even fill out a bracket of 64, and add to that all the shit entries and forfeits.
In the land of uber, the semi-literate is king. Or uberlord, right?
It's fine to have fun, and it is what is is.
Just don't feed me chicken shit and call it a salad.
=======================
Shut up and eat your caserole.
------------------------
Ha Ha. At least Snark's got a sense of humor, Jonny.
Where's YOUR entry, by the way?
Did the committee need your sage advice and wisdom too badly to allow your ass-kicking participation?
------
Nope, I wasn't allowed to participate, since I helped judge the original entries.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FORFEIT LOL!!!1!
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:16:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:30:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is why I laughed at your comments, JMG and Jack. Because of shit like this.
You couldn't even fill out a bracket of 64, and add to that all the shit entries and forfeits.
In the land of uber, the semi-literate is king. Or uberlord, right?
It's fine to have fun, and it is what is is.
Just don't feed me chicken shit and call it a salad.
=======================
Shut up and eat your caserole.
------------------------
Ha Ha. At least Snark's got a sense of humor, Jonny.
Where's YOUR entry, by the way?
Did the committee need your sage advice and wisdom too badly to allow your ass-kicking participation?
Or do you use your place on the committee as an excuse to avoid the shame and embarrassment of a two-and-out?
You should've entered, Jonny. With the quality of entries and double elimination, you surely would have lasted through the second round.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:00:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:52:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha ha. And when the forfeit wins, it will really make a statement about this shit-fest you call ubermadness.
Tou-fucking-che'
-------
WHERE IS YOUR ENTRY, COCKSUCKER - I DONT SEE YOU POSTING ANYTHING
------------------------------
First, don't assume I indulge in YOUR favorite pastime.
Second, when you can't even fill out a bracket of 64, plus you end up with a large percentage of terrible entries and forfeits, that makes a shit-fest, in my opinion.
Third, I didn't qualify to enter and my votes do not count, as you can plainly see if you pay attention.
Shouldn't you know the rules of entry, being on the committee?
Oh, and fourth, JonnyX is on the committee.
YEP, QUITE A 'SERIOUS' WRITING COMPETION YOU GOT THERE.
Every entrant an 'almost-can-be' according to JMG, wrapper-upper extraordinaire.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:30:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is why I laughed at your comments, JMG and Jack. Because of shit like this.
You couldn't even fill out a bracket of 64, and add to that all the shit entries and forfeits.
In the land of uber, the semi-literate is king. Or uberlord, right?
It's fine to have fun, and it is what is is.
Just don't feed me chicken shit and call it a salad.
=======================
Shut up and eat your caserole.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well.... at least it's something.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/31561
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:56:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/28883
----------------------
To be fair though, that title was atrocious.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-12 18:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:52:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha ha. And when the forfeit wins, it will really make a statement about this shit-fest you call ubermadness.
Tou-fucking-che'
-------
WHERE IS YOUR ENTRY, COCKSUCKER - I DONT SEE YOU POSTING ANYTHING
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/28883
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:30:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is why I laughed at your comments, JMG and Jack. Because of shit like this.
You couldn't even fill out a bracket of 64, and add to that all the shit entries and forfeits.
In the land of uber, the semi-literate is king. Or uberlord, right?
It's fine to have fun, and it is what is is.
Just don't feed me chicken shit and call it a salad.
------------------
I never said that every writer on Uber is worthy of praise. I wrote that there are a some who are. It's up to each reader to decide who that is for him or herself.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HotWillie, this wouldn't be the first time a forfeit has ever won.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, right. Lucky this time.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha ha. And when the forfeit wins, it will really make a statement about this shit-fest you call ubermadness.
Tou-fucking-che'
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"There are hits and there are misses. And then there are misses." - Agent Scully
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe I'm voting for a forfeit.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_Burton (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Preferred the forfeit
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is why I laughed at your comments, JMG and Jack. Because of shit like this.
You couldn't even fill out a bracket of 64, and add to that all the shit entries and forfeits.
In the land of uber, the semi-literate is king. Or uberlord, right?
It's fine to have fun, and it is what is is.
Just don't feed me chicken shit and call it a salad.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2... barely.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoever did entry 1 was a fucktard.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AT THIS POINT, #2 IS LOSING TO A FORFEIT.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 actually had more content and emotion than #2. Amazing.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-10-12 17:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment