Barely-late Überversary, Five +2's and a Camwhore (749 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.83 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ripple (View user info) at 2006-10-16 09:28:51 EDT
I missed my Uberversary because I am a sped. I just learned that word, which should serve as further proof of my idiocy. Just in case you had any doubt.
Anyway, over the past... year and six days, I have posted some utter shit. And while I may not be proud of that, I'm proud of the negative reviews I have garnered on said posts. Here are four of my favorites:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78165
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-01 13:16:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Take a break from the computer!
Go to Wal-Mart and buy a pistol!
Oops, no ammunition!
Go back to Wal-Mart and buy ammunition!
Hey, make them hollow point rounds!
Why not!
Live a little!
Drive to Target and buy a dropcloth!
Yes! They have one with a Spongebob print!
Aces!
Unroll the dropcloth!
Take your computer chair and wheel it to the center!
Ooh! Squeaky!
Load the gun into the pistol!
It's like putting quarters in a meter!
Pull the hammer back!
Put the gun to your forehead!
Wait!
Strip naked!
Toss your clothes into a corner so the mice can get warm!
Grab that eggplant you planned on cooking for dinner!
Fucking grab it!
Sit down on the eggplant!
Gape that ass!
Give it hell, son!
Almost there!
Nice!
Now we're cooking with salt!
Now, put the gun back to your forehead!
Pull the trigger!
Shamone!
(Aww, that was on my first post. Waves of nostalgia are washing over me. I'm not going to lie; I'm not actually a huge fan of what's written in this review. If it was a post, I'd probably -2 it. But the fact that O-tron took time out of his busy day to tell me to kill myself after going at it with an eggplant really brightens my life.)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78486
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-06 15:51:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
complete and utter bollocks.
did your mummy buy you a 'writing by numbers' kit for your twelfth burfday?
(Just... yes. This is the sort of insult I wish I could deliver effortlessly on a regular basis. Apollo... Can you teach me?)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82933
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-26 10:31:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope the shame of this post never washes off, and the stink rises cloying into your nostrils, choking you and dragging you down into a stupor from which there can be no awakening.
(Just remembering this post, I feel the need to take a boiling shower. I... am... so... dirty...)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83614
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-02-08 03:17:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
(I think I've got more of these...)
This is not to say that everything I've done here has been horrible. If you have an attention span, feel free to read some decent stuff I've written:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78333 Do you like mental illness? I know I'm a huge fan. This is from the perspective of the voice inside a woman's head.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81749 Anyone up for Russian Roulette?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85443 I love this story. It's long and achronological, but I was proud to have written it. For some reason, it got taken of the front page. I still don't know why.
So, yeah. This post pretty much sucked. If you didn't like this post and don't care (the majority, I'm sure), feel free to bombard me with more insults that I can really be proud of. Five +2's to the author of the one I deem to be most original.
Cheers to Übersite!
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-01 09:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you bob on my knob for a +2?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-01 09:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet you like jizz in your hair, i can see some.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-06-01 09:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:53:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:48:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
SHIIIT
i forgot that the month comes before the date. fuckkk.
well, its official.
i lose.
------
yeah, because everybody's on the new 16-month calendar now...
if it makes you feel any better, no one is going to spank it to your picture - we've filled the quota on pictures of hideous Goth Beasts drinking lighter fluid, but thanks for playing!
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bart once told me to fuck off.
eat it.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHIIIT
i forgot that the month comes before the date. fuckkk.
well, its official.
i lose.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The date thing.
You know how it is.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:42:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously... am I missing something? She is saying she missed her Überversary because she is stupid but she hasn't even been here for a year yet?! She signed up on the 26th of October, my calender makes it the 16th today...
---
Good point.
Liar! Minus two and die!
Stick my asshole on your eye!
Ten days early! Ten days off!
I'll make you turn your head and cough
And open up your mouth for balls,
Unwashed and set to deck your halls
With holly, janx and mistletoe,
You'll be my untrue Christmas ho,
With spreader bars and whips and chains
I'll drill into your little brain
The days, the weeks, the months, you swine,
You'll learn to tell the fucking time,
My reindeer girl, I'll treat you like
A Blitzen Bitch, a Donder dyke,
And prancing you will hoist my load
As in your sleigh I will unload
This knowledge, white as simple silk,
Your cookies I'll drown with my milk
And stain your stockings by the tree
Beneath it, one last gift from me:
Two presents that you sure could use -
A calendar and minus two.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT THE BITMAP, JAILBAIT?!?!?!?!
[bloop]
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:42:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously... am I missing something? She is saying she missed her Überversary because she is stupid but she hasn't even been here for a year yet?! She signed up on the 26th of October, my calender makes it the 16th today...
---
HAHAH
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously... am I missing something? She is saying she missed her Überversary because she is stupid but she hasn't even been here for a year yet?! She signed up on the 26th of October, my calender makes it the 16th today...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woot!
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd hit it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Uhhhhh, who the fuck ARE you?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for announcing that you wasted your time.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a) I forgot that I wrote that.
2) "Load the gun into the pistol." Good job, O. Good job.
c) Happy Uberversary.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Uberbirthday!
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Registered on or around: 2005-10-26 10:09:43
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*drooles retardedly*
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
noooo idea who you are
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:38:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
hah
.bmp
--
i know! i feel like a n00b all over again, but my computers in spanish, and after shrinking the file, i couldnt find where i could make it a jpg. sigh. i suck.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aw now aren't you cute.
Time for you to do something with your life! I hear there's an opening for a suicide bomber?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah
.bmp
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea who you are, but have a 2.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's a sped? american term?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is funny in a Chevy Chase kind of way.
Is this some ironic writing excercise for school?