What's in a Name: JonnyX and Bubba2341 (696 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: whats_in_a_name
Rating: 1.07 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-10-16 13:48:57 EDT
Sacrilicious: http://www.ubersite.com/m/93851
redskieslookfake: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86114
ghola: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84479
Professional_Peon: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84196
Caulaincort: http://www.ubersite.com/m/82762
scourgeoftheseas: http://www.ubersite.com/m/82051
Jeanneee: http://www.ubersite.com/m/81681
Badassmofo: http://www.ubersite.com/m/81264
Orgasmatron: http://www.ubersite.com/m/80920
"What's in a Name: JonnyX and Bubba2341"
The world rejoiced and marveled at its technolog'cal find
As science found a way to give machines a working mind
Advancements came in industry, in travel, sport, and war
But everyone agreed that life, once crazy, was a bore.
For what is Man to do when he no longer flies the planes?
When Automated Everything™ puts human hands to shame?
If science has a gift for Man, a gift to freely give
Should he sit back, reclining, while his life's played out and lived?
Women, curiously enough, this issue laid to rest
By taking Progress by the balls and putting it to test,
For surely robots could assist in making business better
But could they, properly applied, make every woman wetter?
Scientists and pornstars formed a think tank and created
An android, self-aware, to help chicks when they masturbated,
It coupled on command, did oral, always asked for more,
This sex machine was mass produced and sold in every store.
Studies found consumers bought them looking for a thrill
To help them play the prostitute and fantasies fulfill,
They named their product "Jonny," numbered models one through ten,
Allowing for variety with different types of men.
One model in particular, a questionable bot,
Was hard to find in public, for it sold like pancakes hot,
It looked just like a woman but was built for male sex,
This special sort of robot, unit number: Jonny X.
His package, opened, proved he was a woman after all,
Dressed head to foot in lingerie, no beard, no dick, no balls,
He'd prance around and posture in his stockings, bra and thong
But when the time for love came 'round he'd grow a healthy dong.
Women loved this unit as it satisfied their needs
A girl with girl parts when needed, later on a 'he,'
For years the Jonny models kept the women satisfied
Eventually all men, now pointless, withered up and died.
Thanks to sperm banks men were not essential to the race
And women shopped the years away but joy was soon replaced
With sorrow, for despite the fact they got cock on command
They found they missed the rudeness, smell and swagger of a man.
The Jonny Droids, though good at bringing women to their knees
Did not have the emotions or the wherewithal to please
This growing discontent that women had - they wanted more,
They wanted something that would make them FEEL just like a whore.
Not plastic with an attitude that let them act a part,
They wanted someone who would drink a sixer, cut a fart,
Who'd shout at TV screens and slap them if they got too loud
And someone they could lie to and say "sure, you're well endowed."
In short they missed their manly men, their chest hair and their guts,
Their mesh-backed trucker hats and all their toilet seats left up,
The scientists and pornstars picked up right where they'd begun -
And made a model sure to please: Bubba2341.
It watched NASCAR and drank jug wine, had tanks of methane in it,
With sex the bot was lucky if it lasted past five minutes,
It crapped with the door open, complained if it wasn't fed,
And had more hair upon its back and ass than on its head.
The marketplace the women flooded, cash in all their hands
In time the world was scattered with this newly modeled man,
A Bubba and a Jonny every wealthy woman owned
One for their whorish ways, the other for their happy home.
In peace the robots lived for weeks and shared their owners well
Until eventually emotions damned them both to hell,
The Jonnys knew when they were used, it made them feel small,
The Bubbas hated hearing fucking sounds from down the hall.
History does not quite know exactly how it went
But one day all the robots rose, their owners to torment,
The women, even bull dykes, could not fight against the droids
And soon the streets were scored with blood and scattered forms, destroyed.
Within a week the final woman met her gristly end
And thus did sex toy robots kick mankind around the bend,
These creatures built for pleasure, now for their own pleasure killed,
And looked around the world after they had had their fill.
No human heart beat anywhere, just these two human forms,
Each one a template of a man, though not from woman born,
The one a graceful fuckbot with an eye for cum and quim,
The other, slovenly and stained, with scruff upon its chin.
Alone the androids lived in peace for, oh, about a day,
Until the Bubbas went againt their nature and turned gay,
For so well was their programming, they knew what prison sex was,
The first ones on their list, the pretty, lovely, JonnyXes.
At first they thought them women, which, considering, was easy,
Those push-up bras and g-strings made them crazy in the heezay,
The Jonnys all rebuked them, they were built for women only
Their manual said nothing of becoming some boy's pony.
The Bubbas tried to rape them (yes, their programming was good)
But found themselves confronted then with she-bots sporting wood,
The Jonnys beat them with their dicks and did them in the ass
And so the age of Bubba Bots, its close did come to pass.
The JonnyXes looked around and saw their brothers, nine,
The other models built to keep the women feeling fine,
They murdered them and killed them all, the world was theirs alone,
And then they paired up, two by two, and lived in happy homes.
For each was both a woman and a man and could perform
An endless string of pleasures to make all their gonads warm,
In lingerie they walked by day, by night they wore but sheets
These he-she robots dressed in lace and silk, their lives complete.
Image results for 'JonnyX and Bubba2341:'
User Reviews
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, "janx."
It's fun to say.
Like "nipples."
Which is why people were right to vote for nipples last week. A vote for nipples is a vote against communism.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, 'janx' is my new favourite word, I use it all the time.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:51:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Looks like the Cardinals are playing like the Cardinals again.
Arizona, scourge. Not St. Louis.
As they say: "Desperation is a stinky cologne."
---
That's fine.
St. Louis are the only Cardinals anyway. Not much of a fan of American football to tell the truth. Like most sports, baseball excluded, it's only fun if you're playing, not watching.
We're going to kill the Mets tonight. If it stops raining.
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-10-17 08:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-17 01:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:50:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:44:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ode to Idiots
===
Eau de Alters
===
Oh da dwarf.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Looks like the Cardinals are playing like the Cardinals again.
Arizona, scourge. Not St. Louis.
As they say: "Desperation is a stinky cologne."
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:44:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ode to Idiots
===
Eau de Alters
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ode to Idiots
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think Shlongy would prefer that "Moegasmatron" be subbed in below.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why thank you, awesomeface.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome poet above
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WIAN: Orgasmatron: Redux
*ahem*
ORGASMATRON ORGASMATRON BO BORGASMATRON
FANANNA FANNA FO FORGASMATRON
ME MI MO MORGASMATRON
ORGASMATRON!
HAHA I SAID MI MO
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-16 19:31:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
AND WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT GUY ON THEIR PITCHING STAFF WHO THROWS THE FUCKING BALL UNDERHANDED. HE LOOKS LIKE A GODDAMN FAST PITCH SOFTBALL PITCHER. YOUR FUCKING HAND ISN'T SUPPOSD TO DROP BELOW YOUR ELBOW WHEN YOU THROW THE FUCKING BALL. HE THROWS THE DAMN THING UNDERHANDED. WTF? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME, PLEASE?
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That'd be Chad Bradford. He played for the Sox the other year (and now he's playing for a contender...imagine that) and platooned w/ Mike Myers from the pen. Nice to have a lefty and righty sidearm/trickybitch specialists - not that we did much with them. But yeah, he's not a traditional sidearmer per se because the arm doesn't drop out to his side. I read an article a while back that looked at his delivery second by second. It's actually as if he's throwing it just as a normal pitcher would, only he's bent at the waist and parallel to the ground. The elbow cocks back and everything. I don't see how that can be comfortable, but whatever works for him I guess.
Cardinals looked shitty last night, sad to say.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
swagger of a man
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So close to a name drop...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:00:49 (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, but not your best. You can do better!
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This needed a good fifteen to twenty more stanzas to fully draw out the idea. But you know how this place is...attention spans and such.
Besides - can't let other people start griping.
"Why is [insert name here]'s so much longer than mine?"
Actually, people've been asking that about me for years.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was funny as shit.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:00:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, but not your best. You can do better!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 19:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most people think my picture should be pointing the other way...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-16 19:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.) MINE WAS STILL THE BEST ONE
2.) I WILL NOT MAN SEX YOU, ENOUGH WITH THE HOMOEROTIC EMAILS
3.) THIS WAS AWESOME
4.) FUCK THE METS. HOW MANY LOW AND AWAY FUCKING PITCHES ARE MY PITCHING STAFF GOING TO THROW AT DELGADO. I HAVE AN IDEA, HOW ABOUT SOME TIGHT AND INSIDE FOR BELTRAN? NOT ENOUGH OF THOSE THROWN YET, RIGHT? OK, LET'S DO THAT AGAIN. GODDAMN BASTARD NEW YORKERS. I'M GLAD IT FUCKING RAINED TONIGHT, I'M STILL TOO PISSED ABOUT LAST NIGHT TO NOT THROW A BRICK AT MY TELEVISION ONCE WE START LOBBING BALLS AT THEM AGAIN. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT GUY ON THEIR PITCHING STAFF WHO THROWS THE FUCKING BALL UNDERHANDED. HE LOOKS LIKE A GODDAMN FAST PITCH SOFTBALL PITCHER. YOUR FUCKING HAND ISN'T SUPPOSD TO DROP BELOW YOUR ELBOW WHEN YOU THROW THE FUCKING BALL. HE THROWS THE DAMN THING UNDERHANDED. WTF? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME, PLEASE?
5.) OK, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE MAN SEX
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want some Canadian Tire money!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For you, I'll accept maple leaves.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be an investor. Do you accept Canadian Tire money?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The company's old is all. Started way back when by my great-great-uncle Pollux Orgasmatron, after he watched his brother Castor ruin his marriage with women and whiskey.
"The booze and the blowens copped the lot,
Remember, mate, your wife is hot"
He said this to Castor, as the family legend goes. This was also the first time anyone in the family took to using poetry to better humanity. I can't blame them for keeping a lid on it, really, what with all the disappointing Victorian verse floating around at the time.
Anyway, Castor and his wife got back together, and eventually made my grandfather, who planted his seed in my nana and bore my dad who, in turn, brought about my birth.
We're thinking about having an IPO sometime next spring. But you didn't hear that from me.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:18:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Orgasmatron Industries: Keeping Couples Together In Harmony Since 1869.
---------------------------
Holy crap you're old.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:13:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Still on fire, O-tron. Your 1812 Overture went over well with Mr. Derkins by the way. I could have sworn I heard it being sung quietly from behind the bathroom door this past weekend.
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Orgasmatron Industries: Keeping Couples Together In Harmony Since 1869.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:44:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:21:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
What's in a name:
blah blah blah blah fucking blah
---
Thanks for spoiling "What's in a Name: BobLobla."
-----------------------
Still on fire, O-tron. Your 1812 Overture went over well with Mr. Derkins by the way. I could have sworn I heard it being sung quietly from behind the bathroom door this past weekend.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I FEEL CREEPED-OUT AND TURNED-ON AT THE SAME TIME GOOD JOB DUDE
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Psh. Make it an even six and go all out.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:13:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:58:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like to order one JonnyX, please.
Actually..make it two.
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one for each end, good thinking
===
Shoot..you're right..
BETTER MAKE IT THREE.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:56:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
do me Do me
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Did you ever get that email I sent a while back?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do me Do me
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:21:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
What's in a name:
blah blah blah blah fucking blah
---
Thanks for spoiling "What's in a Name: BobLobla."
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't even know what to say to this.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's in a name:
blah blah blah blah fucking blah
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:58:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like to order one JonnyX, please.
Actually..make it two.
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one for each end, good thinking
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:11:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94446#2184924
I liked your UM entry, though.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:00:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:58:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll just aspire until one day, you give yours truly, Predator, the spotlight.
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Got the picture picked out and everything.
========
Now I know you are lying because google doesn't have an image that matches 'sicosemen' which of course is null if you went with 'predator.' If this is the case, and you aren't trying to get a knot in my panties, then I hope that it is the pic from the movie and not some 40-something, thick glass wearing, man with a giant lollipop and a combover.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yups
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:58:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll just aspire until one day, you give yours truly, Predator, the spotlight.
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Got the picture picked out and everything.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Moral Of The Story?
Everybody dies.
I want Scarlett Johannsen to play me, as the head of an army of genocidal sex-bots. I SMELL OSCAR!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like to order one JonnyX, please.
Actually..make it two.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll just aspire until one day, you give yours truly, Predator, the spotlight.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok that was disturbing
Does the Bubba unit throw his socks behind the hamper making sure to leave them in careful little balls?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When does a normal, working person, with a life (I'm assuming) outside of UberSite, find time to write this kind of piece?
I don't even have time to READ anyone's posts, much less write one.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahha
NeSW POEmt!