GrueberFest 06: R3 - "Disintegration" (592 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Contests
Rating: 1.81 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-10-16 20:51:00 EDT
"Good afternoon boys and girls, come on in closer! That's good! Can everyone hear me? Excellent. Good afternoon, my name is Mr. Randolph and I'll be your Tour Guide today. We here at the city of Disintegration are pleased to have you with us today. Your teachers tell me me you've traveled here from the city of Wish. Can anyone tell me how far away Disintegration is from Wish?"
"That's correct! It is almost two hundred kilometers. Very good young lady."
"Now, Miss Morehand has already lead you through the Fine Arts Museum and I'll be leading you throughout the Natural History section of the building. Come now, we're walking! Now, during this tour we'll be seeing artifacts from Pre-QE and I'll be explaining a little bit about our society today. If you're all quite well behaved, we'll even stop at the Gardens at the end of the tour."
"Here you see artist representations of what we think the world's populated areas were like Pre-QE. Back then, they had three distinct classes of living sections; cities, suburbs and the country. Look at how high the towers rose in the cities. Do any of you know what they called these enormous ancient buildings?"
"Very good, they were called 'sky scrapers' on account of their height."
Today, we build into the earth, deeper and deeper as we need to go. What parts of the city are top side are covered with a giant dome to keep out those who carry the QE gene. While you and I are no longer at risk of being infected by their diseased DNA, which was the initial reason for building the domes, we still keep them up to protect ourselves."
"Your father's quite right, young man. It IS about a continued quality of living."
"You see boys and girls, as you have learned in your school studies, it all began approximately two thousand and forty years ago. Scientists in the year 2067 AD were working on cold fusion, but they were not prepared for the consequences. Those primitive scholars succeeded in a fashion, but also managed to tear open a small hole in reality. Through that tear, a bacterial strain from somewhere else in the space-time continuum leaked through, afflicting many of the animal species of this planet. Humans included."
"Individuals with a certain DNA sequence were sparred while others were horribly mutated. The process was swift and without any flashes of light or sonic bombs, contrary to what the vid feeds may show you. That is why it's called QE, or, 'The Quiet Event' by historians."
"What's that? Yes, that IS why we in both Disintegration and Wish are forbidden to have pets or eat meat. It's much more difficult to pin point the level of infection in an animal than it is in a human. Most of the scientific advancements in the last two thousand years have gone towards ensuring our safety, and in that case, mapping the human DNA sequence has come first."
"Yes, those old vehicles really were powered by fossil fuels! Can you imagine how filthy that was? That was one of the many reasons the ancient scientists were seeking cold fusion. Just think, a land bound journey from Wish to Disintegration back then would have taken something near four hours!"
"What's that young lady? The Outers? Well..."
"The Outers are an inhospitable place. The afflicted progeny still roam in mighty tribes and live off the land like beasts. They drink unpurified water from the streams and eat whatever edible nourishment they can find. They even mate without genetic purity testing first! Oh yes, they are indeed violent, they would kill you because you live in such a glorious paradise, I assure you."
"Ha! No, they don't have vid feeds or 'gram games. Think about this; most of them don't even know what a computer is! Can you believe that? No, it's true! Truly, they have sad lives out there, left to the wilds."
"Very good question, my lad! Did everyone hear him? No? He asked, 'why don't we all get sick like those people outside the domes?' Well, first off, all of us have a DNA sequence passed down from our parents and grandparents that allow us to stay immune to the airborne bacteria. However, it's still possible to become afflicted."
"No, no! Calm down! That's why you take your vitamins everyday! Those pills contain certain special ingredients that will protect you. See, we learned centuries ago how to retain our purity. Since you've all been so good and have asked so many wonderful questions, why don't we go directly to The Gardens."
"That's right, up these steps. Follow me!"
"You see children, in the early days of the domes, the primal humans who had been afflicted would attack us out of hate and fear. We would have to defend ourselves, of course, and being the stronger and more intelligent group, we often beat them terribly. But in those horrific days, a great discovery was made. Watch your step!"
"When mixed with the right kind of seeding and fertilizer, a very special kind of flower would grown. The pollen from this flower could be harvested and used to ward off the effects of the affliction through the eating of infected substances or blood transfer. Now, it is often referred to by the crude name of 'Blood Flower,' but its proper name is..."
"Oh now honey, don't cry! I assume you've learned all about The Garden in your classes. See all the beautiful crimson flowers below? That's what keeps you healthy! If it wasn't for those, you might.... what?"
"No, we don't like to call it 'The Hanging Garden' here young man. All of those bodies you see swaying from the ropes were primitive humans from the Outers who tried to attack the dome. They were vicious and horrible creatures who dared risk the sanctuary of our great homes and now they're giving back."
"How many? Um, a few hundred perhaps. What? Oh, we slit open the bottom of their stomach's before we hang them so their intestines spill out. It fertilizes the flowers so much better that way. You see, it works along an automated lattice system on the ceiling that..."
"Please stop crying. Why are you all looking at me like... stop! Where are you going! This is a very important part of our culture and we..."
*sigh*
"Kids."
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-19 20:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very creative, sir.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-19 16:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For whatever reason I read this with an image of Gene Wilder in my head. Thankfully this didn't take away from the story. In fact, it creeped me the fuck out.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. It's too bad the attention span here is so short. This could be longer.
As a matter of fact, as I'm sure you've already discovered, it's a lot more marketable when you go at least 5000 words.
I hope you expand the versions you post here.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
John Stewart does inded rule...
Submitted by VileSin (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-10-17 08:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2006-10-17 08:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mbstateside back from the dead auto +2
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2006-10-17 02:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2006-10-17 02:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-17 01:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A couple of small errors, but totally worthy of a +2.
Good story.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll crawl back into my hole now.
ORGASMATRON - PLEASE COUNT MY RATING HERE AS A SOLID +2.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry. It's all these ass bandit no-balls alters. they piss me off.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just killed your +2 from me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
of course with this kind of stellar posting track record he has the right to be critical...
Everything you ever wanted to know about HotWillie
User id: 27532
Registered on or around: 2006-06-22 21:31:03
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 263
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:45:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
--
I grow tired of this cunt.
Sorry he's on your ass now, kk.
Great tale, man. Short and sharp, like an easily concealed blade.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:34:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah! I just love me a good Negative Utopia story.
It reminded me of Brave New World. You even wrote a little like Huxley.
--------------
Indeed.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats mighty unsettling. Wow, what a perfect society; that harvests the less fortunate as a direct resource. Just like today! And wards off otherwise impending doom with limited control of science, JUST LIKE TODAY!
Excellent writing and absolutely frightening Dystopian world.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah! I just love me a good Negative Utopia story.
It reminded me of Brave New World. You even wrote a little like Huxley.
Good show!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seemed a bit contrived at the beginning, just the whole future concept. Pretty cool at the end, but very little explanation.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tops.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The future is Kaos, pure Kaos....
(Chaos)