UberMadnes IV! Revised Matchups and other reason Snark needs a good Water Boarding (4352 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 1.28 on 325 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2006-10-17 04:44:18 EDT
Well... shit, I got nothin.
Here's the Matchups.
Sorry about the bad file JMG.
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-16 04:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this looks a tiny bit more professional than any of the comps these days
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-09-16 02:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2007-02-05 22:53:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny As Cancer, "FAC"~ I get it, GOD I'm stupid. thanks again
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2007-02-05 22:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-05 22:42:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wisher-
"* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition."
The finalists this round are Jack & FAC, with charminglybeef with a bye.
See the upper left corner of the screen under UM - "Latest news and entries."
***
Thank you, Sacrilicious. I guess Snark is out tonite. I understood everything cept "FAC". I will assume that's a writer here, and obviously a rather good one. Thank you. You're not mean like so many are here are. love wisher {and upon mine and my mother's immortal souls I'm not Jack's or anybody's alter.}
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2007-02-05 22:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
by "not jack" I didn't mean "no jack isn't the best in UM," simply that I'm not Jack. I'm through, carry on. I shan't bother y'all again, altho i did review gola or however it's spelled. PS hi Wazza! You big lug!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-05 22:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wisher-
"* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition."
The finalists this round are Jack & FAC, with charminglybeef with a bye.
See the upper left corner of the screen under UM - "Latest news and entries."
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2007-02-05 22:28:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PSS to my PS: I also never, well I won't lie, never even read the voter rules completely cos I already know who's the best writer here, or who has ever posted her, i should say. You come in second, sorry. That's a BIG thing! out of so many. Anyhow, mainly please answer is UMadnesss still on and who's the finalists. thanks, ~ not jack.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2007-02-05 22:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
review below, just a test, i have a sneaky feeling about something...
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2007-02-05 21:40:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark, this may sound naive, but I don't know what's going on. What does that Uberboard message mean, that Ubermadness isn't over? And that Jack is still in the running and needs votes? {Someone wrote "Now it's all up to Wisher" and that made me panic. Why are there so few voters if there's 30,000 users!!!??? I've never voted in UM, mostly cos I thought my name would show up in light gray as not counting.
I wouldn't vote for Jack {unless his was the better post} period. I don't understand why there are two scores beside everybody's name, like: {example} EvilEmma: 33 (37). !!!
What's it all mean? Basically, is Ubermadness still going on, and who are the finalists. I have 6 posts. Can I vote? Sorry, but asking u seemed easier than reading all the fine print in the rules that gave me a headache just looking at. Plus, it gave you a +2. Thanks.
PS: GOD!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-30 08:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:18:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
CaptainThorns vs. MagicAddict
Title: Last Night
Winner: MagicAddict
=======================
Yeah, what he said.
F'in writer's block...c'est la vie.
Good luck in round 4 MA!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-30 02:27:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And I love you for it.
Love you like a new purse on Easter loves a donkey.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-30 02:15:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-30 02:09:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-29 23:42:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Gee, thanks for handing out 2 Nick Cave titles last round, AND NEITHER OF THEM TO ME.
---
I was Abbetoir Blues. And I did download and listen to that song and it did inspire me for my story. However, it was a bloody awful title and I wanted to kill myself for a time. Then I took my meds and say a unicorn.
Then I drove to Wabamun.
It sucks there.
I woke up in a ditch holding a door knob and a National Post from two weeks ago.
I think my mom called me Allen today.
-----------
I tried to convince you you had written my Quintessential entry.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-30 02:09:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-29 23:42:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Gee, thanks for handing out 2 Nick Cave titles last round, AND NEITHER OF THEM TO ME.
---
I was Abbetoir Blues. And I did download and listen to that song and it did inspire me for my story. However, it was a bloody awful title and I wanted to kill myself for a time. Then I took my meds and say a unicorn.
Then I drove to Wabamun.
It sucks there.
I woke up in a ditch holding a door knob and a National Post from two weeks ago.
I think my mom called me Allen today.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-30 00:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-29 23:42:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Gee, thanks for handing out 2 Nick Cave titles last round, AND NEITHER OF THEM TO ME.
-------------
It could've been worse. You could've got a Kenny Chesney title like I did and spent until about Sunday morning unable to write anything because you were too busy cursing whoever suggested it.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-29 23:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gee, thanks for handing out 2 Nick Cave titles last round, AND NEITHER OF THEM TO ME.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-29 20:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-10-28 13:51:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I was number one in Running Jump.
Great story by JMG.
Mine was actually written in the back of a truck.
*emoticon!*
---------------------------------
Your story rocked, Beef. I'm glad to have had some good competition, regardless of outcome. My story was actually written in a Hindu temple.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-29 20:31:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-29 11:39:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
That stuff is for real Jack.
Maybe the stuff they put out might be fake, but the whole afterlife thing? Totally real.
_________
Fuckin A right. I died 5 years ago and..
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-29 11:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That stuff is for real Jack.
Maybe the stuff they put out might be fake, but the whole afterlife thing? Totally real.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-29 01:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Right now on Coast to Coast AM Art Bell has on his recurring guests who bring EVP audio clips, so-called voices of the dead which are torn to shreds by critics.
My only question: If this stuff is fake, why do these people, who DO have a website, offer NOTHING for sale? No dvds, no cds, no books, and they give free advice on how you can record your own 'ghost voices.' They accept contributions (they all have desk jobs during the day) but sell nothing. Why go to that much trouble for zero profit? It ain't American, damn it!
Anyhow, sometimes listening to that shit in the dark late at night can be pretty fucking creepy, especially when it's some little kid's voice recorded in the dark basement of an abandoned building... which is the freakiest one I've ever heard. The people recording the shit (they run a recorder for hours as they walk around, hoping to get something) thought they saw a flash of light, and when one said to the other 'Did you see that?' the response they heard was a little boy's voice sounding sad/terrified saying, "I CAN'T see."
*shiver*
If that was fake, these people are some sick motherfuckers, man.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-29 01:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAH! Things reviewed -minutes ago, I love it.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-29 01:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't wanna walk around with you
I don't wanna walk around with you
I don't wanna walk around with you
So why you wanna walk around with me?
I don't wanna walk around with you
I don't wanna walk around with you.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-29 00:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have been drinking way too much, I meant to put that as a comment on Thorpe's post.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-29 00:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shaun_Rocks
FUCK YOU ALL
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS. I actually really liked Bubba's poem, he won fair and square, I love you all, this is a joke.
---------------------
+2 for saying you love me and admitting gayness. I'm just kidding, this was awesome. Fag. :D
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-28 23:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THE FROST LINE
coley (won)
calsbearpolo
I thought it was going to be torn to shreds. Interesting.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-28 22:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now you know how I feel.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-28 22:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-28 22:14:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-28 21:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Right. Thorpe, I've read your earlier writings. I agree that the title was shit, and we can figure out whom to blame for that, now can't we? Either way, I had little time to write, so I slammed a pile of crap into the fray. You may have been in the same boat, because I know you are capable of doing much better than you did.
Regardless, I may have more time for the next round, but I had a dream I wound up against Jack or Kaos. :(
----------------------
What? I'm joking.
____________
So was I, ya fuckin weeniewhacker. Sheesh!!!
Sorry I forgot the <joke/sarcasm>
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-28 22:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-28 21:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Right. Thorpe, I've read your earlier writings. I agree that the title was shit, and we can figure out whom to blame for that, now can't we? Either way, I had little time to write, so I slammed a pile of crap into the fray. You may have been in the same boat, because I know you are capable of doing much better than you did.
Regardless, I may have more time for the next round, but I had a dream I wound up against Jack or Kaos. :(
----------------------
What? I'm joking.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-28 21:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-28 21:26:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:45:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
O-man's poem lost and mine won? WTF?
The only reason is that Thorpe was fucking around and apparently didn't try or was on
a cocktail of illegal drugs designed to expand his consciousness but only succeeded in
expanding his rectum resulting in a pile of poop on the page that Uberers liked less than
my piece of shit....
----------------------
I TRIED
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95021
******
Right. Thorpe, I've read your earlier writings. I agree that the title was shit, and we can figure out whom to blame for that, now can't we? Either way, I had little time to write, so I slammed a pile of crap into the fray. You may have been in the same boat, because I know you are capable of doing much better than you did.
Regardless, I may have more time for the next round, but I had a dream I wound up against Jack or Kaos. :(
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-28 21:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:45:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
O-man's poem lost and mine won? WTF?
The only reason is that Thorpe was fucking around and apparently didn't try or was on
a cocktail of illegal drugs designed to expand his consciousness but only succeeded in
expanding his rectum resulting in a pile of poop on the page that Uberers liked less than
my piece of shit....
----------------------
I TRIED
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95021
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-28 18:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sparkle,
I dodn't take offense, I just couldn't understand why it was a big deal. I put that stuff in there because I thought it added to the story. I never lift passages from anybody else's work without credit (like my songposts) so I figured the best way to give that credit was to reference the original sources.
Some people got it and left comments saying so. I can't imagine somebody would be negative about a story just because it had references.
Anyway, I had fun writing that story because it brought back memories.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-28 18:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-26 17:51:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Minion wouldn't know what to do with a live mouse. The most excitement he's had in terms of prey is a hair elastic.
Apparently Science Diet isn't that good of a food; I've heard bad things about it.
This type is supposedly one of the best, and BJ's has huge bags of it: http://www.chickensoupforthepetloverssoul.com/products/cats/dry_food/adult_cat_formula/
but they were unfortunately out of it when my Mom went shopping, so she picked up meow mix instead. Minion was so happy eating that junk food. They actually scoffed when I started feeding them the good stuff (1 day later).
___________
Disregard the bullshit propaganda you heard about Science Diet. That is crap put out by their competitors. Science Diet is about the best you can get.
Yeah, your cat would know what to do with a mouse. It's genetic.
It's like diarrhea, it runs in the jeans(genes).
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-28 15:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-28 07:05:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Eternally Beyond"
Bigmike vs Brdn_nkd (I think).
Bigmike wins.
Fuck all y'all if you don't like references. I am no plagiarist.
So explain to me how a bunch of references at the bottom of a page makes a story less effective? I really want to know the answer to this because I think that crediting others for their work is the right thing to do.
----------------------
Bigmike, I'm sorry. With the references, it just felt more like a research paper instead of a story. Maybe also because I had just finished the worst paper of my life the night before.
Still friends?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-28 14:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah? Mine was written on the back of an envelope.
By candlelight. In a log cabin...
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-10-28 13:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was number one in Running Jump.
Great story by JMG.
Mine was actually written in the back of a truck.
*emoticon!*
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-28 07:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rad, you are the coolest.
Stop eating babies by the way, they are high in cholesterol.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-28 07:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-28 07:05:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Eternally Beyond"
Bigmike vs Brdn_nkd (I think).
Bigmike wins.
Fuck all y'all if you don't like references. I am no plagiarist.
So explain to me how a bunch of references at the bottom of a page makes a story less effective? I really want to know the answer to this because I think that crediting others for their work is the right thing to do.
And for those of you who don't know the difference, the references were at the bottom of the page. The parts of the story the references referred to are called direct quotes.
Remember, plagiarism is against the rules of UM. I didn't want anybody to think I wrote those passages because I didn't.
Also, for those of you who actually care, I experimented with self induced OBE quite a few years ago. It was fun and scary at the same time. I was never successful at climbing out though. Well, at least I don't think I was. It was kind of weird. I was hoping the rope technique would work, but It never did.
And another thing:
I find it extremely interesting to see a whole slew of reviews about how well written a matchup is, and then see that one person who says "both of these were poorly written." It happens on many of the matchups. I say to this person, maybe it is you who should learn how to write properly.
I have more to say here, but it's too early and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
=============
this review was poorly written
OH btw I remember that post, but i didnt get a chance to read it.
too many UM stories to read in a few days.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-28 07:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 21:54:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:33:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave? Old? Pfffttt!!
Jack?
Mike?
For the record, I turned 57 on Oct 20. That's old!!
I turn 46 in a month and a half or so.
57! You should create an alter.
Geritol Luvr.
Shit, you're old enough to be my......my.......my.......older brother.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-28 07:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Eternally Beyond"
Bigmike vs Brdn_nkd (I think).
Bigmike wins.
Fuck all y'all if you don't like references. I am no plagiarist.
So explain to me how a bunch of references at the bottom of a page makes a story less effective? I really want to know the answer to this because I think that crediting others for their work is the right thing to do.
And for those of you who don't know the difference, the references were at the bottom of the page. The parts of the story the references referred to are called direct quotes.
Remember, plagiarism is against the rules of UM. I didn't want anybody to think I wrote those passages because I didn't.
Also, for those of you who actually care, I experimented with self induced OBE quite a few years ago. It was fun and scary at the same time. I was never successful at climbing out though. Well, at least I don't think I was. It was kind of weird. I was hoping the rope technique would work, but It never did.
And another thing:
I find it extremely interesting to see a whole slew of reviews about how well written a matchup is, and then see that one person who says "both of these were poorly written." It happens on many of the matchups. I say to this person, maybe it is you who should learn how to write properly.
I have more to say here, but it's too early and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-27 22:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I prefer the old-fashioned term "antique."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 21:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:33:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave? Old? Pfffttt!!
Jack?
Mike?
For the record, I turned 57 on Oct 20. That's old!!
--
You aren't old. You are a 'collectable.'
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-27 21:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have coleslaw and bart each write a story of 200,000 words (1000) pages. We can re-vote later...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-27 21:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoah!
We got a tie between Coleslaw and Bart...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-27 20:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*keeps fingers crossed for two electro awards in a row*
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O-man's poem lost and mine won? WTF?
The only reason is that Thorpe was fucking around and apparently didn't try or was on
a cocktail of illegal drugs designed to expand his consciousness but only succeeded in
expanding his rectum resulting in a pile of poop on the page that Uberers liked less than
my piece of shit....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-27 16:08:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:41:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a conversation best had over Jack straight up and a nice sized steak.
When you want to do that, let me know and we'll round up Jack Mc. and have us a little dinner (minus the cats if you please).
--------
Now that is a dinner I could appreciate. I am not quite as old as you guys, but hey, I am older than most on Uber.
-Dave
_________________
Dave? Old? Pfffttt!!
Jack?
Mike?
For the record, I turned 57 on Oct 20. That's old!!
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-27 18:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I make a fine ass pirate! Just thought you all should know..
YARRRRRRRRRR
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-27 18:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:35:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well played, Shaun. Best of luck in the next round.
------------
Thank you, It's much appreciated
Do we know who the authors of Minutes to Midnight were?
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-27 18:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything but Mine
Entry 1: Sicosemen
Entry 2: Impassive-Digressive
I was a little worried about this entry - partly because it was pretty much all dialogue (which isn't really my strong suit) and partly because of the content (which was a bit of a departure from my usual tripe). Who would've thought that jazz could poll so well?
Defeat, it seems, is anything but mine.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-27 18:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stag beats Genko (sort of, he basically forfeited) in I-876.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-27 17:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:07:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:35:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94882 is what happens when you have a few different ideas and no real desire to flesh any of them out, and the little voice in your head says to let the readers pick.
--
Jack: So, which post was yours? The picture thing or the forfeit?
Coyote: Isn't it obvious?
Jack: Actually, no. I--
Coyote: How can you be so obtuse?
Jack: ...WHAT did you say?
[etc]
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
You frighten me terribly. I'd like to go now...
Coyote: Shut up.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-27 16:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:41:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a conversation best had over Jack straight up and a nice sized steak.
When you want to do that, let me know and we'll round up Jack Mc. and have us a little dinner (minus the cats if you please).
--------
Now that is a dinner I could appreciate. I am not quite as old as you guys, but hey, I am older than most on Uber.
----------
I got (deservingly) beaten with entry 2 in "Framed". Written in 45 minutes, when I had a little time off work.
------------
Serious question.
Do any of you guys ever write something that you really like, then get the feeling that you have subconciously ripped it off/copied it from another story that you have read?
I did that this time and then got the feeling it was something I had read before.
We all write according to our influences, but this one was weird for me. I wrote something pretty early and when I went to edit it I got that feeling.
Thanks to a conversation with my Mother today I realised it was a rip off.
------------
Good work Nerfherder and Good Luck.
-Dave
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 15:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:12:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:08:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:07:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack/MandaPanda
Which story was yours?
--
The long one. Of course
--------------------
In to the Deep?
--
Yup.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve wins in Abattoir Blues.
I don't care if I spelt it wrong here, there or anywhere. That title was fucking stupid.
Party on, Wayne.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haiku potpourri
What could conquer poetry
like taxidermy?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jDarker Karma
Entry1 = AsshOly, winner, first place, champion, best ever, world's greatest.
Entry 2 = loki, who in a twist of fate, lost to the story with all the typos.
good game loki
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ghola vs drogoRoch
title- murder ballads
winner- ghola
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CaptainThorns vs. MagicAddict
Title: Last Night
Winner: MagicAddict
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Love Always*
JoeyG - Entry 1 WINNER
Spam - Entry
*Peeling the Flesh*
ParlorTrick - Entry 1 WINNER
BLITZKREIG_BOB - Entry 2
*Quintessential*
Bubba2341 -Entry WINNER
Thorpe - Entry
*Tumbling Dice*
Orgasmatron - Entry 1
Shaun_Rocks - Entry 2 - WINNER
*The Wandering Star*
Axolotl - Entry 1
The_Yellow_Dart - Entry 2 WINNER
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:08:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:07:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack/MandaPanda
Which story was yours?
--
The long one. Of course
--------------------
In to the Deep?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:07:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack/MandaPanda
Which story was yours?
--
The long one. Of course.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:35:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94882 is what happens when you have a few different ideas and no real desire to flesh any of them out, and the little voice in your head says to let the readers pick.
--
Jack: So, which post was yours? The picture thing or the forfeit?
Coyote: Isn't it obvious?
Jack: Actually, no. I--
Coyote: How can you be so obtuse?
Jack: ...WHAT did you say?
Coyote: Shut up.
Jack: What?
Coyote: I'm bigger than you. I'll beat you down.
Jack: Bullshit.
Coyote: You don't think I'm bigger than you?
Jack: ...no.
Coyote: You want to risk it?
Jack: ...no.
Coyote: Then go fuck yourself, you retard.
Jack: Hey, that's mean, man.
Coyote: Fuck you. You are a festering sack of shit.
Jack: Look... I... you can't
Coyote: Limpdick. Stinkyass. Fatface. Dogfart.
Jack: ...mmmmphmmmm
Coyote: That's right. Curl up in a ball and suck your thumb.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack/MandaPanda
Which story was yours?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The weiners so far, stories in alpha order so you don't have to spend all day jumping back and forth among the items on this list. Ubersite needs more order. Order is good. Chaos is bad*.
*Love Always*
JoeyG - Entry 1 WINNER
Spam - Entry
*Peeling the Flesh*
ParlorTrick - Entry 1 WINNER
BLITZKREIG_BOB - Entry 2
*Quintessential*
Bubba2341 -Entry WINNER
Thorpe - Entry
*Tumbling Dice*
Orgasmatron - Entry 1
Shaun_Rocks - Entry 2 - WINNER
*waits for kaos to read this and express his outrage*
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:37:54 (#)
MandaPanda - Thanks for making me sweat for 3 fucking days. Jesus!
-=-=-=-=-
3 days? Damn, I guess there's something to that tantra stuff after all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This thing still going on?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MandaPanda - Thanks for making me sweat for 3 fucking days. Jesus!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tumbling Dice
Orgasmatron - Entry 1
Shaun_Rocks - Entry 2 - WINNAR
Looks like I finally got a few honest reviews on a bit of verse. Aces.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well played, Shaun. Best of luck in the next round.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94882 is what happens when you have a few different ideas and no real desire to flesh any of them out, and the little voice in your head says to let the readers pick.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great match Orgasmatron, I was certain that you were going to take me out this round. I enjoyed your poem quite a bit.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, voting's OVER?
Shit.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe that I lost!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94842
Bullshit, I say!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 10:38:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
You people have no taste.
--
Not only that, but there is an unacceptable number of cocksuckers gaily dropping votes right and left and proudly proclaiming the fact that they didn't read the entries.
IF YOU DO THAT IN CHINA* YOU CAN BE TAKEN OUT BACK AND SHOT IN THE HEAD!
*China's http://www.supremesite.com.cn/ holds writing contests with rigid rules and stiff penalties for those who mess around in voting, or worse, forfeit. The website was created and is run by a young fellow named Bao Tsifong.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who was author 1 in "Minutes to Midnight", because that was all kinds of awesome
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Quintessential" - Bubba beats thorpe
"Love Always" - JoeyG beats Spam (maybe)
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba (Entry 2) defeats Thorpe (Entry 1) in Quintessential
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Time's up ladies and gents.......UNMASK!!!!!!!
I'll kick off - Author number 1 in "Love Always".
A little confusion in the match ups meant that I most likely was up against Spam, but I can't say for certain.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RIP Thorpe's UMIV campaign
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 11:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
4 minutes left.........
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-27 10:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 10:38:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
You people have no taste.
--
It's a side affect of my smoking habit, but I'm getting used to it now.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 10:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You people have no taste.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-27 10:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-27 10:24:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
94 minnnnnnnnnnnutes
--
Oh Noesssssss . Heeeeellllllllllppppppppppp
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-27 10:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
94 minnnnnnnnnnnutes
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-27 09:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
137 minutes
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-27 07:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
less than 5 hours to go, people........
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-27 00:19:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
agggggggggggggggggggg
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-26 23:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and I already know the alternate:
"Bestwriterevar"
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-26 23:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
she's not the only one.
It's super easy to guess when it is "IamTHEuberlord"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-26 23:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki stole my fucking password!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-26 23:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My keyboard is really dirty. I should clean it some time. And I just knocked my post it notes on the floor.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-26 22:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Balls.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-26 22:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack - that was rather loki-esque of you.
HAR HAR KITTY LIKES TOYS
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-26 22:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One of my cats, the smartest one, has a shitload of toys I keep in a little basket. Twist ties, pipe cleaners, toy mice, etc. I picked them all up this morning before work, and when I got home there were NINE differnt toys scattered up and down the hallway. Christ.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-26 21:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha,
Tsk tsk tsk, Sarah - so bitter. It's because she was abused by father/mother/brother as a child, isn't it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:08:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, and I'm finding it annoying.
along with the use of the names Jack and Sarah
--
I just asked Sarah what she thought of this and she said crossed her arms and frowned and said, "That bitch Crystle isn't very fucking subtle, is she?"
Then she stabbed me with a knife and dropped dead of cancer.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-26 18:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I finally read and rated EVERY post.
I didn't skim, I didn't skip stuff, I didn't vote for the MOTHERFUCKING PICTURE!
I sincerely hope every writer in this round has done the same.
Thank you, and good night.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-26 17:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Minion wouldn't know what to do with a live mouse. The most excitement he's had in terms of prey is a hair elastic.
Apparently Science Diet isn't that good of a food; I've heard bad things about it.
This type is supposedly one of the best, and BJ's has huge bags of it: http://www.chickensoupforthepetloverssoul.com/products/cats/dry_food/adult_cat_formula/
but they were unfortunately out of it when my Mom went shopping, so she picked up meow mix instead. Minion was so happy eating that junk food. They actually scoffed when I started feeding them the good stuff (1 day later).
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-26 17:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-26 17:02:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just switched his food to Nutro complete, which is a pretty good food.
--
Check your prices tho--- Science Diet is relatively cheap for a high end food, and some of the SUPER high end foods are ridiculous, with hand massaged-lamb and rice gently gummed by village elders in Monkeydong, Thailand, shit like that in it. You want to give your cat the best diet ever? Give her a live mouse twice a day.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-26 17:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's on antibiotics, painkillers, and vitamins. He tested negative for Feline Leuk, which was great. Stomatitis is a symptom of it, and Yellow Kitty is positive, so I thought maybe that was it.
We're trying the antibiotics for now, but if the gums don't recede, he'll have to have his back teeth pulled. (which is so much freakin money but it'll be worth it--he's my baby)
I just switched his food to Nutro complete, which is a pretty good food.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-26 16:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-26 13:07:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
My poor kitty has stomatitis, an inflammation of the tissues lining his mouth. :(
We just got back from the vet's.
--
Shit, that's too bad.
Gonna give her antibiotics or a change of diet?
I feed my cats Science Diet. Kind of expensive, but it is a well-balance meal that they all like, and it doesn't have any of the shit in it that off the shelf foods have.
I also feed them Science Diet 'Light.' And I underfeed them. They are always just a little hungry. And that's good.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-26 13:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My poor kitty has stomatitis, an inflammation of the tissues lining his mouth. :(
We just got back from the vet's.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-26 13:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Evil Laugh*
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 12:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-26 12:46:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-26 12:13:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:30:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Steak and Jack with Mike and Jack." Sounds like a post.....
------------------
I bet the UM committee is pissed now because they can't use that title anymore.
==========================
Who says I can't?
*********
It's my title, and I hereby give permission to Snark to use it in any way he sees fit....
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-26 12:46:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-26 12:13:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:30:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Steak and Jack with Mike and Jack." Sounds like a post.....
------------------
I bet the UM committee is pissed now because they can't use that title anymore.
==========================
Who says I can't?
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-26 12:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:30:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Steak and Jack with Mike and Jack." Sounds like a post.....
------------------
I bet the UM committee is pissed now because they can't use that title anymore.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 23:40:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:12:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:41:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a conversation best had over Jack straight up and a nice sized steak. When you want to do that, let me know and we'll round up Jack Mc. and have us a little dinner (minus the cats if you please).
--
But the cats are the best part. They run across the table and knock stuff over. It's hilarious.
Yes, they can do that, but only if they want a neck full of fork tines.
Now that would be hilarious.
Fucking cats. :)
___________
You're outnumbered, Mike. I have two cats. :)
I will concede it is easy to generalize about kids today or those of any generation, and I don't mean to say all young people today are crap. You listed some good reasons for the differences.
"Steak and Jack with Mike and Jack." Sounds like a post.....
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-26 09:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In regard to our stories, I told ya so, Jack.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 23:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:12:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:41:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a conversation best had over Jack straight up and a nice sized steak. When you want to do that, let me know and we'll round up Jack Mc. and have us a little dinner (minus the cats if you please).
--
But the cats are the best part. They run across the table and knock stuff over. It's hilarious.
Yes, they can do that, but only if they want a neck full of fork tines.
Now that would be hilarious.
Fucking cats. :)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 18:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God damn, man. I'm hungry. In fact I... hey...
Where the fuck is everyone?
What the hell's that... is somebody sneaking around behind me?
Oh.
It's just you.
For a second I thought-- no... wait... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WI-----
*insert gunshots here*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:41:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a conversation best had over Jack straight up and a nice sized steak. When you want to do that, let me know and we'll round up Jack Mc. and have us a little dinner (minus the cats if you please).
--
But the cats are the best part. They run across the table and knock stuff over. It's hilarious.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, and I'm finding it annoying.
along with the use of the names Jack and Sarah
--
I just asked Sarah what she thought of this and she said crossed her arms and frowned and said, "That bitch Crystle isn't very fucking subtle, is she?"
Then she stabbed me with a knife and dropped dead of cancer.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, and I'm finding it annoying.
along with the use of the names Jack and Sarah
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:19:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lots of stories broken up by ~~~~s and ####s and ----s and ****s this Round.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:34:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
My ideal orgy would include...
==============================
!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba,
You don't give the kids of this generation enough credit. Not all kids today have everything handed to them. Yes, it's easier to function in today's society, but I still think that, even though this generation has it easier (in some respects) than we had, it's an issue of education, not formal but familial, that makes the difference here.
Plus, information is global now, whereas the only thing we had was the six o'clock news or a newspaper to supply us with what we needed to know. Now, suicide is all over the place as a part of mainstream news or whatever.
Ir's just a bigger part of life (or death, if you will), and the fact that parents don't spend hardly as much time with their kids these days adds to this lack of information.
I don't know, but I'm old school when it comes to this. My kids know that suicide is not an option even though I'm sure they are exposed to much talk and information about it with their school friends or the internet or whatever.
Sometimes it's just a glass half full/half empty outlook that can change viewpoints on this issue.
This is a conversation best had over Jack straight up and a nice sized steak.
When you want to do that, let me know and we'll round up Jack Mc. and have us a little dinner (minus the cats if you please).
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah.
*****
What's that all about,
-----
gents?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lots of stories broken up by ~~~~s and ####s and ----s and ****s this Round.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-25 08:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 01:54:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:39:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop kidding yourself Jack.
You know that all we wanted to do when WE were young is get laid and smoke weed. :)
That is, when we were avoiding the dinosaurs.
--
Haha. Seriously, Bigman, what the hell? Did our generation skip this suicide gene? I don't get it...
We were raised when suicide really wasn't an option.
That's my guess.
__________________________
Suicide was an option, but we were raised with the ethic that something worth having was worth
working for, and that killing yourself was the act of a coward. Kids today have everything handed to them, so when life gets tough, they crumble.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 01:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:39:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop kidding yourself Jack.
You know that all we wanted to do when WE were young is get laid and smoke weed. :)
That is, when we were avoiding the dinosaurs.
--
Haha. Seriously, Bigman, what the hell? Did our generation skip this suicide gene? I don't get it...
We were raised when suicide really wasn't an option.
That's my guess.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-25 00:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My idol has failed me!
*WEEP*
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-24 21:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grammer and speeling? This is Ubbersight. So whut?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 21:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-24 21:02:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
I really hope spelling "grammar" wrong was supposed to be ironic.
-
Case in point...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-24 21:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really hope spelling "grammar" wrong was supposed to be ironic.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 21:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:42:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now wait just one fornicating minute. The ability to pump out stories requires a vivid imagination, which has nothing to do with literacy. I is as litterite as he are, ya tard...
--
That is true. My grammer and spelling blow big time.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And the Non-sequitur of the Week Award goes to...
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:34:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
My ideal orgy would include...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:17:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
While I will most definitely lose this round...
I got Jack's vote.
So all is well.
3-0, Jack's vote, woo!
(Yes, his vote does mean that much to me. He's the most literate fucker on the site, so his word reigns supreme.)
________________________
Now wait just one fornicating minute. The ability to pump out stories requires a vivid imagination, which has nothing to do with literacy. I is as litterite as he are, ya tard...
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My ideal orgy would include...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:33:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:24:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
What is with all you young people killing yourselves?
When I was young, we didn't have TIME to kill ourselves! When we weren't working hard to earn a living we were too busy fighting wars and procreating and fixing up the garage and reading good books.
Now all you young people do is cruise on the intornet and get depressed and want to kill yourselves.
*shakes head*
Stop kidding yourself Jack.
You know that all we wanted to do when WE were young is get laid and smoke weed. :)
That is, when we were avoiding the dinosaurs.
_________________________
Yeah, and Alley Oop was a punk boy in my neighborhood. When God said, "Let There Be Light,"
I flipped the switch.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
While I will most definitely lose this round...
I got Jack's vote.
So all is well.
3-0, Jack's vote, woo!
(Yes, his vote does mean that much to me. He's the most literate fucker on the site, so his word reigns supreme.)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 18:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-24 18:10:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH! I bet she...
Wait a minute.
I almost ALWAYS vote Democrat! DAMN YOU, JACK MCCALLUM!!!!
--
I like to think you shake one fist in the air when you say that.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-24 18:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH! I bet she...
Wait a minute.
I almost ALWAYS vote Democrat! DAMN YOU, JACK MCCALLUM!!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 18:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha...
or "because he had brown hair"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Check out her reviews, man. She's a fuckin retard!
I bet She votes Democrat in '08.
"I voted for the democracy guy because he looks nice in that suit and stuff and the other guy from the repos or whatever is short and old and looks mean so there."
-BadAssJulie November 4, 2008.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:49:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
All in favor of petitioning Bart to change BadAssJulie's username to DumbAssJulie, say 'Aye.'
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Aye!
Although there are a few others ahead of her that I feel need to be legitimately banned from voting in UM4.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<pout>
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
work?
what's that?
All I have to do is smile a few times a day...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:53:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
*INHALE*
phew...............finished reading and voting.
--
Well SOME of us actually work for a living.
*ducks*
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*INHALE*
phew...............finished reading and voting.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Time to invite her to dinner... steak dinner.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, last week I got totally busted checking out this chick's tits as she walked by. I mean, I wasn't ogling or drooling or anything, just taking a quick appreciative peek. After all, she was wearing some lightweight top that clung like cobwebs, and the objects of my attention were not only a lovely shape and size but they moved like they had their own music. She saw me checking them out and I kind of felt like a dick.
Just now we passed by each other again and she looked right at my crotch like I've got a steak down my pants and she hasn't eaten in three days.
What the hell, man?
I feel harrassed.
Women and their games.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The potential for Bad Ass Julie to stop bugging us and get naked in public or something like that...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Something there I should see?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:49:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
All in favor of petitioning Bart to change BadAssJulie's username to DumbAssJulie, say 'Aye.'
--
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94809#2196947
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aye.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All in favor of petitioning Bart to change BadAssJulie's username to DumbAssJulie, say 'Aye.'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop kidding yourself Jack.
You know that all we wanted to do when WE were young is get laid and smoke weed. :)
That is, when we were avoiding the dinosaurs.
--
Haha. Seriously, Bigman, what the hell? Did our generation skip this suicide gene? I don't get it...
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:58:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not going to blame being sick this weekend/week if I lose.
I'm going to blame the medication I've been taking.
;)
DOS MINUTOS, MUHFUCKS!
-------------------
If I lose, I'm blaming that I'm up against Orgasmatron
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:24:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
What is with all you young people killing yourselves?
When I was young, we didn't have TIME to kill ourselves! When we weren't working hard to earn a living we were too busy fighting wars and procreating and fixing up the garage and reading good books.
Now all you young people do is cruise on the intornet and get depressed and want to kill yourselves.
*shakes head*
Stop kidding yourself Jack.
You know that all we wanted to do when WE were young is get laid and smoke weed. :)
That is, when we were avoiding the dinosaurs.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is with all you young people killing yourselves?
When I was young, we didn't have TIME to kill ourselves! When we weren't working hard to earn a living we were too busy fighting wars and procreating and fixing up the garage and reading good books.
Now all you young people do is cruise on the intornet and get depressed and want to kill yourselves.
*shakes head*
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kind of. He's alive, but I couldn't tell you for how long
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:34:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:18:51 (#)
My forfeit is legit. I had a suicidal friend to deal with and priorities are priorities. I regret the forfeit only out of context.
-==-==-==-
Sorry to hear it... I wouldn't worry, you made the right call.
================
Been there.
I hope this true story has a happy ending Gofer
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:18:51 (#)
My forfeit is legit. I had a suicidal friend to deal with and priorities are priorities. I regret the forfeit only out of context.
-==-==-==-
Sorry to hear it... I wouldn't worry, you made the right call.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm reading some fricken COOL stuff this round.
There's gonna be some damned close matches.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just looked at my personal scoreboard and all I can say is seet Jesus, there's a lot of reading to do!
Only two forfeits!
Way to go, everyone who worked on SOMETHING for this round!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:18:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
My forfeit is legit. I had a suicidal friend to deal with and priorities are priorities. I regret the forfeit only out of context.
--
I had a suicidal friend.
HAD.
My story is up.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jebus,
3 of you really like to post under the wire...
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My forfeit is legit. I had a suicidal friend to deal with and priorities are priorities. I regret the forfeit only out of context.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Two Forfeits this round.
I'm letting bart know now. We'll get them posted asap.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:08:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck.
That's all I'm gonna say.
--
Sorry, baby.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck.
That's all I'm gonna say.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No technical issues that I'm aware of... checking on forfeits now.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Were there technical troubles again, or are all the no-shows bona fide forfeits this time?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just going to blame the fact I suck if I lose.
Are all in now?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not going to blame being sick this weekend/week if I lose.
I'm going to blame the medication I've been taking.
;)
DOS MINUTOS, MUHFUCKS!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DING!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TEN MINUTES...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SIXTEEN MINUTES....
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The California Condor has a wingspan of up to nine and a half feet. It is a little known fact that these condors will often perform urohydrosis, which means they defecate on their legs to reduce their core body temperature. Human beings receive no benefit whatsoever from the practice of urohydrosis.
Or so I've heard.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good Luck Everyone!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
there are some pretty good entries this round.
... which i will get around to reading eventually.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yesssss....1/3 of the pots are up.
GO POTS WOOOO!!!
Pots are kul!
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:32:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok. I apologize for my submission. If it doesnt make sense -- and I assure you it does not -- it's because I wrote it at 3 am last night while watching movies and I didnt proofread. Finished writing and hit submit. There are lots and lots of typos and what isn't a typo doesn't make sense anyhow.
Also, I wrote it just to write it. I never got to know my characters, so if you figure them out it was an accident.
So, enjoy.
--
I'd love to see this guy endorsing prescription medications on TV.
----------
Bahahahaha
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok. I apologize for my submission. If it doesnt make sense -- and I assure you it does not -- it's because I wrote it at 3 am last night while watching movies and I didnt proofread. Finished writing and hit submit. There are lots and lots of typos and what isn't a typo doesn't make sense anyhow.
Also, I wrote it just to write it. I never got to know my characters, so if you figure them out it was an accident.
So, enjoy.
--
I'd love to see this guy endorsing prescription medications on TV.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok. I apologize for my submission. If it doesnt make sense -- and I assure you it does not -- it's because I wrote it at 3 am last night while watching movies and I didnt proofread. Finished writing and hit submit. There are lots and lots of typos and what isn't a typo doesn't make sense anyhow.
Also, I wrote it just to write it. I never got to know my characters, so if you figure them out it was an accident.
So, enjoy.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I better start.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
15 and one-half hours for 20 more posts?
Pffftttt!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:47:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Now available on Pay-per-View
Jack's Life, Episode #207
'The Big Gay Haircut.'
If I don't stop looking in the mirror nd saying, "Oh fuck, man," and "goddamned one-eyed sonofabitch," I'll never get my story done...
_________
What, did you finally get a haircut? That's it, McCallum, you are out of the club!
Ah, you're too young to be a hippie anyway...
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Method hurry up!
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:47:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Or Swedish!
_______
We're terribly sorry. Those responsible for hiring the people that were supposed to sack stevie have been sacked.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:51:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:47:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:31:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mine is all ready to go, even though I am still confused about who my opponent is.
--
ME.
(maybe)
-----------------------
I'll go with that. But if you somehow end up with a better title and still beat me, I'll be mightily unimpressed, coz this title was wank beyond all wank.
Yes, wank I say.
Yes, Mr Head Voice, thats a good idea.
I'll do as I am bid.
---
Agreed
Submitted by Crys