Stalemate (490 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.22 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Blueboy (View user info) at 2006-10-17 06:27:30 EDT
I don't know why I woke up. Maybe I was uncomfortable or had a bad dream. Regardless of the reason, I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity that I had.
These few minutes were mine to truly enjoy the angel sleeping next to me. I turned on my side and watched her. Her back was turned to me, but I still got to watch her body move up and down with each breath she took. I didn't need to see her face to know how beautiful she was at that moment. Then she started to talk in her sleep.
"But I love them both."
The tone of her voice impacted me. There was urgency in it. Pleading for whoever was attempting to make her chose between the two to understand.
I know dreams are often nonsensical, but vanity made me think I was one of the both she was talking about. As strongly as we may feel for each other, I was beaten to her by the other guy, and her feelings for him are strong. So much that she waits by the phone every night for him to call her.
It was during their phone call that night that I had decided that I needed to wean myself from her. I wanted what the other guy had, for a girl to have me be the one who made her day complete with a simple phone call. It didn't matter to me that I was the one there physically, he was the one who had her heart. I thought that if I spent less time with her, if I made all of our moments special, she would pick me. That all changed with what she said next.
"If it was the other way around, I'd be the same way for you."
In the beginning she used to tell me how she didn't know why they were still together. She would say she wish she had met me first. In those days I felt like I was ruining her life, that all the conflict was because of me and she would end up hating me for breaking them apart. The sad truth was I missed those days.
Nothing inflates the ego quite like a girl saying "I prefer you". It's hard to come back down and realize that she no longer does. That instead of being the guy who has the girl sneak off to kiss during the night, you're the guy who has to wait in the hallway when she gets a phone call. Who is expected to sit quietly and pretend not to be paying too much attention while she replies to his emails.
Her words made me see a truth, even if there wasn't one there to be found. I hadn't lost her, I wasn't even competing for her. She was already mine, but I had to accept that she wouldn't be mine alone. At this point in time she couldn't. She needed me to keep being myself, to be her friend and her confidant and her lover. She needed me just as much as she did him.
Finding some small sense of clarity, I smiled before I closed my eyes and went to sleep. I slept for as long as I could, knowing that the epiphany I had would vanish with the opening of my eyes.
User Reviews
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-10-17 19:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If he's being played, we should all be so lucky.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Everybody's being so nice.
You are being played, dude.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awwwwwwwwwww
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:30:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I slept for as long as I could, knowing that the epiphany I had would vanish with the opening of my eyes.
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I dread it when I know that's going to happen. It's one of the worst feelings in the world.
I really enjoy when you (presumably) write from the heart.
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-10-17 08:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-10-17 08:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd tell you that you were making a huge mistake, but you'd just tell me that I was too.
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2006-10-17 07:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
huh? what you trying to say? i know that people eat sheep okay?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-17 06:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bah, you are probably right.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-17 06:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it would've worked for Moment of Glory.
But fair enough.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-17 06:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This didn't fit "Moment of Glory" or "Soup's off", but even if it did I doubt I would have used it. Bit too personal for ubermadness.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-17 06:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should've been your UM entry.