It happened... again. (308 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.66 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hit The Left <meeat.g.at.thehawk.mil (View user info) at 2006-10-17 09:55:24 EDT
Its been so long since I've done it last. Alas, the innocence and ignorance of the child I once was. In those days, there was no worry, no confusion, and no depression. Night would find its way to my sleepy town, and I would enter my dreams. Then all of a sudden, IT would happen. It hardly happened, but when it did I wouldn't think much of it. The only task was to awaken my parents, who would take care of the matter and I would be back to my dreams. The only thing bothering my unstained mind at that time was whether or not I would be able to defeat Hard Man, the mega hard ass boss robot from Mega Man 3. (He wasn't hard so much as difficulty would imply, rather hard like rocks and iron are.) Of course, Magnet Man's power up would easily take care of this guy, but I had to learn this the HARD way. Back then there was no internet to let you FAQ your way through the game, and if you didn't have Nintendo Power, you were fucking stranded.
Let's get off of that tangent and continue the tale. At the ripe age of 23, I found that this time when IT happened it was much more disturbing, and much more confusing. I awoke in a fury when I realized what I had done.
That's right folks, a few nights ago I pissed the bed. The weirdest thing is that I can actually remember my child bed-pissing dream. (A dream always accompanies them, as if somehow my subconscious is provoking me to do it.) The dream consisted of Fred Flintstone and I pissing on a tree, when Fred started jumping around pissing on everything - including me. That is when I felt the warmth. The slow drip soon ran across my thighs, tingling my nerves and reaching to my brain, straining to get me to wake up - "No you fool! It's not Fred Flintstone pissing on you, awaken and learn the truth!!"
My adult dream was much less satisfying. The dream had me pissing in a toilet full of freshly-brewed coffee, and man did the coffee smell good. Warmth soon followed, then the slow drip. For that one moment before I opened my eyes I connected with the child I once was. The split second of it was even less than the climax of an orgasm, that 0.2 second thing we all stay alive for whether we like it or not.
I awoke in a fury, jolting out of bed and uttering curses under my breath, "What the fuck?? How did this happen? What could it mean???". After making my way to the bathroom, I finished pissing in a toilet devoid of any fresh coffee. I got rid of my boxers and wiped myself with toilet paper. I then got a fresh pair of boxers and headed back to bed.
I know what you're thinking, but fuck it, I was far too tired to clean myself. At least I slept at the end of the bed, using my wife's feet as a pillow rather than sleeping in my own mess. I awoke to my wife yelling, "What the hell is this wet spot!?". Opening my eyes halfway, I looked at the huge piss spot and then turned my glance to my one year old daughter, who was sleeping soundly inches away from the spot. The piss spot was 2 times bigger than her entire body. "Must have been her", I said, and put my head back down.
I suppose about a minute later I was violently launched out of bed by two lady feet.
User Reviews
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-17 22:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm. Apparently it's Incontinent Post Tuesday. I must have missed the memo. http://www.ubersite.com/m/94535
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-10-17 21:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 if pissing involved a hilarious drunken night
-2 for being sober
-2 more for posting about it.
Congrats, retard.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't even know what to say but you wrote a post about pissing the bed and you couldn't even make it funny so the next puddle you should see is a puddle of blood from your wrist.
but I care about you.
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:13:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it s common to piss the bed,
I know someone who would piss in the fridge every few months while sleep walking
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
CONGRATULATIONS, bed wetter.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have to say the honest is appreciated...but seriosuly bad choice for a first topic. I'll give you a pitty +1 and await your inevitable raping.
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-10-17 10:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once pissed in a bin in the kitchen at my (then) girlfriends house in the middle of the night,
then about 30 minutes later I realised what I had done and put the bin outside, where here dog pissed all over it again, so I hosed it down and her parents never found out but her younger brother did.
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHA.
You pissed the bed.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-17 09:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait, you start off on Ubersite by telling us you pissed the bed at 23?!?
Well, good luck retard.