Just Give Me a Moment (716 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Meat Popsicle (View user info) at 2006-10-17 11:04:04 EDT
There's a light in my parents' home above the bathroom sink in the hallway that always flickers when you first flip the switch but then eventually finds it's frequency and lights up. It's a fluorescent tube of some fashion that was installed many many years ago behind the moulding above the sink in order to hide it and create some effect unknown to me. It's been there since they moved us all in years ago.
I'd go in after watching some half-assed late night show to piss and flip it on. The light would flicker like a strobe off of the bathroom mirror with enough speed to send little Japanese children into epileptic fits. I'd always skip the secondary light above the toilet because the sink light gave just enough brightness to the room so as to not screw with my eyes that late at night. It was just enough. It was comforting to a small degree when I'd see it flicker and have an anxious moment wondering wether or not this was the time it would finally fade and die only to see it cast that familiar white glow.
It never has died. It is the epitome of consistency and dependability. I always loved that light.
I haven't been back to Virginia in years. A year here, a year there; never back home. There was always something about that light, though.
So here I sit, scarred and shrapneled. Finally home to the warmth of my wife and my dog. Nine months in the same shit, just a different shade of brown. It's good to be back but that hidden force that makes people change always seems to make a stop at my house when he's in town.
People justify what they do when they're in the real heavy shit. People use politics, Jesus, the Brotherhood. Me, well, I use my wife.
When I was first sent away from her, I felt like I was doing 'my part'. I felt like I was protecting the bitch holding that flame in New York. I felt the stars and stripes seeping through my fucking skin, dripping off the end of my nose as I dialed in on another defiler of 'freedom'. Naiveté's got a cunt for a sister and she goes by the name of Patriotism at times.
When I came back from the snow and the desolation, I was revived. I was happy to be home, happy to eat greasy cheeseburgers and fries, happy to see a baseball game. I was happy to be back, period. Seven months in a 50x47 room with the same 16 people every day, only seeing moonlight can do this.
And then the rallying cry was made. People were being called up to pound the sand. The last real shit I'd seen had been eye opening but relatively simple. So, when they asked some FAST Company guys from my first time out of country if they had any recommendations, several of us got a call. Some New England accented officer I used to work with asked if I wanted my chance to 'see the pink mist' as it's overratedly called in movies, I asked to see my itinerary. While his wording was bullshit, I felt like I was needed.
Fast forward to two weeks ago.
Several times reluctantly back and I'm still barely understanding my role in life. I'm forced to think of what things would be like if they were the exact opposite over there and I'm not quite sure they'd be any better OR worse. This is why I hate politics. I'm home for good now though. It's been said that my men and I have done plenty of lifetimes of work for Uncle Sam. We won't be asked to go back, they're afraid of what we might become. Well, that's Wyatt's opinion.
But now I'm home for the next 15 days. She's at her school, shaping and moulding the young minds of another shitty suburb. She's worried about me, says I don't act the same. Says I'm the man she fell in love with but I've perpetually got other things on my mind. Says she's not sure if joining the police department is really the kind of work I should go with when I'm done here. Says normal men don't run until they pass out on the treadmill at midnight. She says a lot and I love her for it.
She's just not seeing that I'm an old, overused light. I might be flickering at first, but honey, I'll be back and glowing.
I love you, just give me a moment.
User Reviews
Submitted by Mike-Mc (user info) at 2006-10-19 10:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good read
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-10-18 12:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-10-18 11:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-18 04:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the only thing you should have felt was recoil
i'm sure there's a desk and chair just waiting for you in the service division if patrol is not your game anymore
thanks, and good luck
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-10-18 03:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good writing.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-18 01:38:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let her read this.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-10-17 22:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She's right - don't be a cop. Doing so will serve no one and only cause you more distress.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-17 18:02:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm..
Certainly better than your user name would suggest!
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-10-17 17:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great writing man!
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i felt your post.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have got to shit so bad right now.
But I can't shit because I can't find my phone.
If I can't find my phone I can't play Tetris.
If I can't play Tetris I can't shit.
If I can't shit, I'll go all toxic and die.
I hope I didn't forget to grab my phone on the way out the door this morning.
Because I have got to shit so bad right now and I can't shit if I can't find my phone.
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You sound like my husband....men .... dehhhhhhh da dehhh
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This changes my original perception of you.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:26:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Naiveté's got a cunt for a sister and she goes by the name of Patriotism at times."
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Amen to that.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good gravy.
da?
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-10-17 13:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like this. Good rhythm to it. I'll be reading more of your stuff.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Naiveté's got a cunt for a sister and she goes by the name of Patriotism at times."
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-17 12:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would a "skate it off" be tasteless here?
yes yes I think it would so I won't do it
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really liked this. Well in.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so glad you posted this. Maybe it will wash the taste of yesterday's uber out of my mouth.
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Solid....as HighVoltage900 would say.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice metaphorisizingilizationing
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have got to shit so bad right now.
But I can't shit because I can't find my phone.
If I can't find my phone I can't play Tetris.
If I can't play Tetris I can't shit.
If I can't shit, I'll go all toxic and die.
I hope I didn't forget to grab my phone on the way out the door this morning.
Because I have got to shit so bad right now and I can't shit if I can't find my phone.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rock on with your bad self.