Purple People Eater (466 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.55 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <laladestrukt.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-10-17 14:01:11 EDT
On the way out the back entrance of my work there is a pot. Not a potted plant, just a pot with some dirt and rocks in it. Some GENIUS thought they were being funny and taped a sign to it that says "Warning: Purple People Eater!!!"
Damn it, the purple people eater is a monster! Not a plant moster either. It's got an eye and a horn, and it flies for christs sake! Now if they'd put "Venus Man Trap" or something I could accept it, although it still wouldn't actually be funny.
I bet whoever taped that there has an e-mail signature like
Thanks!
Abnoctious Tard, Jr.
-"Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?"
Which reminds me, a few years ago whilst visiting the mall, I went back into a store where I'd just made a purchase and said to the cashier "I forgot my validation, can I get it now?" to which he said "You ARE attractive and people DO like you!"
Fortunately it was the first time I'd heard it, so it did make me smile, but it reeked of an abused witticism. I imagined it being said thousands of times in hundreds of malls across America on that one day alone. Turns out I haven't had that said to me again since. I let this make me happy even though I go to malls so rarely, and usually on the bus when I do, that there have been few to no opportunities for it to be said.
But then maybe my sense of humor is off. For 15 years I've loved the following joke.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.
Now that's a joke that will stand the test of time my friends. At least as long as we still have monkeys...
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-02 10:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-11-02 02:42:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-22 07:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My apologies, I didn't realise you had actually tried to form a name there. I just thought it was a horrible misspelling.
Submitted by MadameDestrukt (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-17 19:59:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
"Abnoctious"?
---------------------------------
Obnoxious doesn't resemble a name at all...I guess abnoctious doesn't really either, who is named abner anymore anyway... work does bad, bad things to my brain.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-17 19:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Abnoctious"?
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-10-17 16:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this. It's better than most of what I've seen today.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2006-10-17 16:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Jesus Jillickers, catalyst, you made me laugh out loud. Bastard.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:05:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
two cannibals are sitting around a camp fire eating a clown.
The first cannibal looks at the second and says:
"Hey, does this taste funny to you?"
------------------
OMG LOLZ LOL LOL LOLZ OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1one!!!!!!!1
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
two cannibals are sitting around a camp fire eating a clown.
The first cannibal looks at the second and says:
"Hey, does this taste funny to you?"
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BGAWK
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh