ATTN: WHITE, COLLGE EDUCATED MALES in your EARLY-TO-MID 30's (426 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.33 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cadrach (View user info) at 2006-10-17 14:50:20 EDT
Are YOU and internet ADDICT?!
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
Whoopsie!
What I meant to say is that according to a recent telephone survey by some very important scientists, we now know that one in eight people (mostly white, college educated males in their early-to-mid 30's) are as addicted to Ubersite - um - The Internet as drug addicts or alcoholics!
YEAH!
Try taking this simple quiz to see if you have an internet problem.
1) Do you internet alone?
2) Do you sometimes feel ashamed of your internetting?
3) Are you currently on the internet?
4) Are you currently wearing anything that could conceivably be called "pants?"
5) Is there a bottle of lotion/other lubricant anywhere withing two hobbles of your internetting locale?
6) Do you know what the anagram "W.o.W" means?
7) Who is Bart?
8) Does your internetting interfere with your job performance?
9) Does your internetting interfere with your family?
10) Did you answer "no" to the last question because you think that your REAL family are the people you pretend to interact with on the internet?
11) Are you dying to quit reading so you can be the first to respond "Wtf is an intarweb?"
12) Discribe your skin color/tone: __________________________________
13) How much do you weigh?
14) Have you ever invoked Goodwin's Law?
15) How many friends do you have on myspace?
16) Name the last music CD you paid actual money for: _______________________________
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/10/17/061017180234.eiuwieod.html
And then, he ran out of steam and stopped caring. Crap.
User Reviews
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nerd.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do know this will make me sound geeky, but it's called "Godwin's Law."
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gheyer than rye bread.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm blaming it on no one understanding my art.
=(
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Internet quizzes are the gayz
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You usually do better than this - I'm kinda surprised.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You pity makes my heart soar Mr. Mofo.
I'll assume that you, unlike the rest of these idiots, are not morbidly obese and/or that you are wearing pants.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thank god I'm not on the internet
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh poop. I don't want to get voted off the front page. =(
The story's actually legit. Although the "slapping some half-assed crap in front of the story" probably could have used a little more work. In hindsight.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's it? That's your whole post? That fucking sucks.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:55:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF is an intraweb?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Acorcgnid to my sutdeis, popele sohuld hvae to tkae a tset bferoe berednig so taht psots lkie tihs do not hpapen aynorme.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Question #13 hit a little close to home, tubby?
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-17 14:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey Bart? I think it's time to start screening new users.