What Am I Doing With Myself (991 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.25 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Roman The Empire <CheesyG00dness.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-06-27 09:45:45 EDT
I came to the conclusion a while ago that I am an idiot and an asshole. I am slowly but surely ruining my chances at having a successful future. All I have to do is put forth some effort and all would be well, but I can't even seem to do that. I'm only 19 right now, but my track record is fucking up any chances of a real career down the line, but I can't help it, I'm just lazy and apathetic.
I went through 2 full years of college so far, and it was just a waste of time. Back in high school I had a nice 3.6 GPA at a good school, and somehow managed a 1510 on my SATs which pissed off all my buddies. When I actually went to classes in college, I would get good grades, but then a few weeks in, for no apparent reason, I stopped going; just stopped giving a shit. I am now a bum, a failure, an unsuccesful Penn State dropout and all because I didn't care enough to show up to class even on days of a test.
I'm working for my father now, who now wants to fire me because of the whole school thing, even though I do an excellent job at work. I just don't know what to do with myself. It's been YEARS, since I've shown any signs of ambition; probably the last time was in 6th grade. Not to mention the fact that the economy now blows. There is an estimated 34% unemployment rate for teens this summer, so I don't know how I'll find another job and be able to pay for my car insurance, internet at home, and other odds and ends that I consider requirements/desires. Actually I probably won't be able to get a job considering I'm competing in the job market not only with other teens, but with college grads that can't find jobs as well as other adults that were laid off due to the stale economy we have running right now.
I'm sorry if I wasted your time with this post. Just needed to get a few of the things going on in my life out of my system. I'm a fuckup, I'm lazy, I have potential but don't care enough to reach it, I'm a pothead, I'm a smoker, and I'm a drinker. Why the fuck do I keep doing this to myself. Why can't I just fucking grow up and try to make something of myself. Why can't I stop being selfish, and do something that will benefit me, as well as others, in the future instead of living in the now, and thinking about nothing else but having a good time.
I'm done now, flame away if you wish, I actually have some work I have to do.
User Reviews
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-04-05 23:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude, the same exact shit is happening to me.
Submitted by Daegus (user info) at 2003-06-29 02:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LoL...+2 for Flap
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2003-06-29 01:34:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dr. Flapjacksupreme's ambition, self-esteem and motivation boosting techniques recomend:
*Cut back masturpation to only twice at most every day
*Start tempting fate (I.E. - Playing chicken with on coming traffic)
*Start abducting people, then torturing them.
*Start obessesing over a female celebrity of own choice (keep ya busy)
*Coat yourself in a dark tan spray, and rob convience stores with a south american accent.
*Various adreniline pumping activities in traffic. (I.E. - picking fights with people smaller than you, chasing after insecure-looking women if they cut you off)
*Join a cult
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-06-29 01:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I lower your self esteem? That in itself is sad... I bet I just lowered it a notch didnt I?
The fact you take what I say to heart is flattering... Its like getting laid on the first date. A sexually appealing surprise...
Wait thats not good that Im getting a hard on cause I make someones self esteem go down is it?
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-06-28 01:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
**What Am I Doing With Myself**
I'm not sure, but stop it. You'll go blind.
Submitted by Yes at 2003-06-27 18:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I avoided looking at this post all day for nothing... I thought it was going to be a pic...
mental image... ewwww...
Submitted by CheesyGoodness (user info) at 2003-06-27 16:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No worries I can't concentrate much either. It's friday and all I can think about is going home for the weekend, and going to Great Adventure with a beautiful / awesome girl on Sunday.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-06-27 15:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*despair; *Put the pipe...
I can't concentrate for shit today.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-06-27 15:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I were you, I'd work my way back in to college. It may not be as challenging as you would like, but that's the way the world works. If you've got a piece of paper proving that you're dedicated enough to sit through four boring years of school, that means something to a lot of employers.
Sounds like you're an intuitive. Have you considered counseling?
You seem like a smart guy. Don't fucking waste it by dwelling in depression and despare. But the pipe down and make something of yourself.
Murphy
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-06-27 15:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cheesy-n-crackers, you make me happy. Therefor, you are a success.
My favorite cheese is Brie. Or is it spelled "Brei" ? I think it's Brie. It most definitely is NOT "Bree."
Submitted by CheesyGoodness (user info) at 2003-06-27 14:46:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I honestly would like to make something of myself, I'm just really not sure what's out there that suits me. I have so many interests, from cars, to computers, to simply making people around me happy. To me there is nothing more satisfying than seeing those around me truly happy, and knowing that they are like that due to something I did, or the way I treat them. I really just enjoy helping people out. All around me people always come to me for advice, even for the same problems and issues that I am going through right now. It's rough...I can almost always figure out what to tell people to get them on the right track, or to boost their spirits, but for some odd reason I don't practice what I preach.
You are absolutely right. With the economy the way it is, and the way the business world works in these years it is necessarry for me to complete some form of education, and I honestly think I know what the problem is with the school department. I really don't have a big head on my shoulders, I actually tend to look down at myself. When I look in a mirror I can't say I'm truly happy with the the person that I am. But when it comes to schooling I wouldjust like to learn at my own pace, which tends to be faster than the one that I have thus far been exposed to.
For example, even something simple like English classes. I just don't feel challenged. The readings we are given offer me nothing, or at least nothing that I perceive as useful. When an author writes a book, or a paper, they do it for either the enjoyment of others, or simply to get their ideas out to the public. They don't do it so that years later someone can say "Hey, see the way this person writes, this is the proper method and I want you all to emulate this style when writing in this genre". Whenever I actually put my mind into writing something I would never get any criticism, simply a nice "Good Work!" on the top of the paper. After this I say to myself...what's the goddam point, I'm gaining nothing out of this, I'm just being told that everything I do is perfectly satisfactory, so that's when i stop caring, stop handing in work, stop going to classes, etc...
Another example. In my last economics class the teacher had to take an entire class period to explain to other students how to plot a simple X=Y slope. What a waste of my time. I fell asleep in all the following class periods, got yelled at because I wasnt paying attention. Then the teacher tries to catch me off guard asking rediculously easy questions and I would answer then correctly. Again...i think to myself...why the hell am I wasting my time here.
It's not even a matter of being extremely lazy in school (I am very lazy about other things however)...it's a matter of not finding anything to be productive.
As for other things I enjoy...a whole lot of everything. I love camping, I have entered and won prizes at local robotics competitions. In high school I even entered a competition sponsored by Lucent Technologies where we had to look at a NCT(National Critical Technology) that we students did not feel was being acted upon as efficiently as it should have been. We chose the transport of nuclear and other toxic materials. We discovered ways to more efficiently track and move these hazardous materials, and after all was said and done we were invited to Washington D.C. to speak before a Technology Council. Hell we got business cards from all sorts of large corporations telling us to "give us a call after you finish college".
I love music, but sadly never really learned to play an instrument like the guitar, which I am actually looking into doing right now.
My appologies for making this addition to my original post so very long. There are just many thoughts flowing through my head right now. I guess I'm finally starting to think about my future, and I guess it's about time I did so. For those that actually read through all this jargon, thank you for your attention span.
Manfre, if you respond please try not to lower my self-esteem too much in your review :P
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-06-27 14:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
CheesyGoodness: You sound depressed! I'll be turning 23 this Summer so I've got a couple years on ya. My situation is somewhat similar... dropped out of college and gave up good grades because I just didn't care anymore.
Now you see the result of that and realize that only you can dig yourself out and become independent and support yourself. My advise is to go a little easier on yourself for krists sake. You are your own harshest judge and if you dump yourself all the time, how the hell do you expect to dig yourself out?
See a counsler...
Murphy
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-06-27 14:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit is just boring.. there is nothing out there.. i know where you are ocming from man...
shit is just mad boring...so you decided not to give a fuck.. but the problem is you have to give a fuck because nobody else will..
I just wonna tell you something roman.. please go back to college. you need college education.. just some sort decent degree to get any kind of job...
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-06-27 14:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
smart + hard worker = God if you live in america
smart + just does his work = still good. making a good living.
smart + lazy = me (pot head, gambler & cube worker)
very smart + lazy = still good
very smart + very lazy = Roman
1570. jesus man.. Look at the big head on Roman. what do you enjoy doing?? you got any hobbies? i really think you should pick up something that you enjoy before you waste your 20's away.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-06-27 11:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1056698138733619008
Submitted by CheesyGoodness (user info) at 2003-06-27 11:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must say I have no idea what you are talking about. Are you saying someone has a post like what i just typed? or does this have something do with another review?
::still confused::
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-06-27 11:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.boredatwork.com/
It's about twenty down the list.
Submitted by CheesyGoodness (user info) at 2003-06-27 11:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sodium your last review here bafled me ?
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-06-27 10:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bored at Work.
give credit where credit is due.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-06-27 10:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH god no, that was funny monkey.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-06-27 10:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Roman - welcome to adulthood.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-06-27 10:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"hey your dad's not the guy who invented sodium is he?" - Loki
No. But my Dad invented Monkey Diapers
http://www.our-pets.net/primatecare/ctips3.htm
I'm fucking loaded.
Submitted by CheesyGoodness (user info) at 2003-06-27 10:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah i was taking college level classes as well. I finished all available math classes in the high school, including a "Discrete math" class that was theory and logic, considered a post calc class my junior year. And the goddam stupid ass football player i was friends with went to Cornell, WTF is that nonsense he did nothing. Junior and senior years for me were all AP courses and i struggled to keep my 3.6 as well.
Submitted by yarbles (user info) at 2003-06-27 10:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A good friend of mine in highschool took the lowest classes possible for all of his required classes (english, math, etc.) and took band for all other classes... fucker didn't do ANYTHING and had a 4.0... I worked my ass off in "college" level classes just to maintain a 3.7.... fucker
but when it came to SAT & ACT it all came back on him since he was a senior and had only taken algebra ... that made me happy...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-06-27 09:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They also started weighting classes monkey, hey your dad's not the guy who invented sodium is he? I see this crap all the time on the news when they do the student of the athlete bullshit. They flash this kid up who is a four season letterman, volunteer with underprivileged kids, the whole works and then they flash up some complete bullshit 4.3 GPA. What the FUCK? They didn't weight classes for me. My senior year in high school, I made a B in linear algebra, not college LEVEL, but COLLEGE linear algebra because I was some sort of hot shit kid and they sent me to the university half the day when I was in high school. Guess what a B in linear algebra was on my GPA, that's right 3 lousy stinking points. I could have taken tennis, made an A and had a higher GPA.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-06-27 09:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone remind me. They changed how they score the SATs since I took them. What's different?