Eternally Beyond (805 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.32 on 74 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-23 11:30:47 EDT
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Entry 1
Wanted: Participants in an outpatient study to be conducted November 15th through November 25th. Participants will be required to report to testing facility daily and will be well compensated for their time.___________________________________________________________________________________________________
To consider becoming a human guinea pig feels so humiliating but I'm in dire straights. I lost my job six months ago and have not been able to secure another. I've looked everywhere and for any kind of job; fast food, janitorial, professional, there's nothing out there. My wife is ready to leave and take the kids with her. She's told me that if the heat is turned off she'll walk out and file for divorce. It's the last thing we have actually; the phone, water, and electric were shut off last month.
So here I am standing outside the office of Numatech willing myself to go in and find out how much I'll be paid to donate myself to science. Finally I pluck up the strength to walk in, knowing that if I don't my gas service will be shut off. Without the gas service I have no heat and without the heat I lose my family. My family is the only thing that pushes me on.
"Welcome to Numatech, how can I assist you today?"
The receptionist looks like she might be magnetic and got to close to a nail factory. All of the "visible" skin on her is pierced with hoops and barbells including her shaved head. It pisses me right off that this metallic freak can get a job, a good one from the looks of it, and I can't even get a job cleaning the waste treatment plant.
"I'd like to find out more about the outpatient study scheduled for November 15th."
"Please fill this out and someone will be with you shortly."
I take the clipboard she's offering and then take a seat. Pulling the pen out of the top I see it's chained to the clipboard and wonder if people are so hard up that they have to steal pens and companies can't afford to lose them. Pulling myself back to the task at hand I start down the form filling in my name, address, social, and the rest of the mundane bullshit that hospitals and clinics ask for.
I turn the page and see that there are some interestingly strange questions on the next.
"Have you ever considered having sex with a child?"
"Have you ever tried to kill someone?"
"Have you ever stolen public property?"
"Have you ever turned someone in for doing something wrong?"
"Have you ever been suicidal?"
As I start to answer these questions I hear my name being called. Looking up I see a startling beautiful woman standing near an open door. She's very tall, at least six foot tall, wearing tight fitting clothes that show off the slender form of her body. She's got incredibly perfect breasts, sexy hips, and toned legs. Her blonde hair is stylishly cut to frame her gorgeous face; big blue eyes, perfectly shaped nose, full red lips, and high cheek bones give her a striking beauty.
She calls my name again and I get up, "yeah, right here". She steps aside to allow me through the door and as I walk past her I catch the smell of sandalwood and vanilla, intoxicating.
"You may take a seat in the third office on the right Mr. Kindal."
Her voice is musical, dripping with sexuality and I find myself turning to her.
"What are you doing after work tonight?"
She smacks me hard across the face and dismisses me; "third door on the right". God! Did I seriously ask this woman out? She's so out of my league not to mention the family I came here to try to save.
Sheepishly I turn away and take my seat in the office she indicated. I can't help but think of her though as I sit in the empty office and I'm not surprised to find that I'm aroused given the nature of my thoughts. Suddenly I feel the pressure build and am dismayed to feel myself creaming my pants. I have never before been brought to climax by mere thought and definitely not so fast. Before I can even think about doing anything about it another attractive woman walks into the room.
Without even thinking about my predicament I stand up to offer my hand.
"Mr. Kindal, I think I'll forgo shaking your hand." I see her glance at my hand and then down to the spreading wet spot and bulge in my pants. "I understand you're here for the study is this correct?"
"Yes.... Look I don't normally have this...."
"It's ok Mr. Kindal, Aubrey often has that effect on men. I think, given your reaction to her that you will be quite interested in the study we wish to perform."
"Mrs.....?"
"You may call me Angie. The study will consist of a control group and a study group. Obviously you will not be told which group you are part of. We are testing a new drug the manufacturer calls "eternally beyond". We are only testing for negative side affects and depending on the outcome of the study this drug may be made available to the public as soon as February of next year."
"Eternally Beyond? That sounds like the name of a street drug."
"It is designed as a pleasure enhancer Mr. Kindal and we are well on our way to gaining approval to sell it on shelves. We just have to complete a few studies like this to get FDA approval. So, as I was saying as a participant you would report daily and every day you will take a pill. It may be Eternally Beyond or it may be a placebo, you will stay here for two hours for monitoring and then you'll be free to go. In exchange for your two hours of time every day for the next ten days you will receive One thousand dollars and a month's supply of Eternally Beyond."
"How much testing has been done on this drug so far?"
"Mr. Kindal, I assure you that it is safe and I'll also let you in on another secret, Aubrey will be involved in the testing and will be very "hands on" if you catch my drift."
The mere thought of Aubrey caused a stirring in my pants and I immediately agreed to participate.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
November 15th
I wasn't given a specific time to report to Numatech so I've decided to go at noon. It's ten thirty now and I know it will take me almost an hour to walk there so I start to get ready for the trek. It's ten forty five now and I decide I might as well get on my way. Kissing my wife and children I walk out the door.
I walk through our neighborhood feeling the weight of being buried on my shoulders. I look around the streets as they pass and see that many more feel the same pressure. There are no cars in my neighborhood anymore; no one can afford one let alone the gas to use it. The busses stopped coming here two months ago when the city realized no one here could afford the fare. Some city leaders have postured and made noise about trying to help us through this time but nothing's been done.
I continue walking and watch, as the neighborhoods get progressively better. Here there are houses and condos instead of apartments. There are cars on the street and a constant bustle of traffic and people. In short there's a liveliness here that's been destroyed in my neighborhood.
Finally after walking for over an hour I open the door to Numatech and step in. The magnet's working the desk again and gestures for me to take a seat but before I can do so Aubrey opens the side door and beckons me to follow her.
As I near I catch her scent again and find myself lost in it. I blindly follow after her feeling, once again, the rush and rise in my pants.
"Take this pill and disrobe please."
I take the pill expecting her to exit but she just stands there waiting expectantly.
"Um... you're not leaving? Do I get a robe or anything?"
"Disrobe Mr. Kindal." Her voice cuts through me and I find myself taking off my clothes, all modesty cast aside.
"What would you like to do to me Mr. Kindal?"
"I want to fuck you."
Aubrey immediately begins taking off her clothes, first her blouse and bra revealing the most incredible tits I've ever seen, then her skirt, and finally her panties. These last she removes slowly, turning around to allow me to watch her slowly bend down to pull them off. When she stands again she's standing naked before me, just a landing strip of hair above her perfectly groomed pussy and I feel a great rush of euphoria as I cum.
"Looks like you're already done Mr. Kindal."
Whether it's the drug kicking in or just Audrey I don't know but I do know that I am far from done.
"Aubrey, there's plenty more where that came from." I say as I walk over to her.
Her intoxicating smell is overwhelming now. I take a breast in my hand and bend to kiss it, slowly sucking on her nipple and feel myself cumming again. As I begin to kiss the other breast she cups my balls and then begins stroking my cock. Every touch is euphoric, and soon I can't think of or feel anything at all.
"What the fuck?" I look around and find myself lying in a bed. I get up, find my clothes, get dressed and make for the door. Finding it locked I bang on it and soon I hear the lock tumble open.
"Mr. Kindal. Glad to see you're awake. Before you go please fill out this form and be sure to describe every feeling thoroughly."
I quickly scribble out my answers and leave. I return home and immediately go to bed ignoring my wife's questions.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
November 16th
I awake feeling empty, drab, disgusted. Everything is foul. It takes me just a few minutes to realize that I want to feel as I did last night, that there's no other way to feel. I put some clothes on and rush out the door, ignoring my wife's protests and pleas.
I run and make it to Numatech in just forty minutes. Bursting through the door Mrs. Magnet waves and Aubrey greets me at the side door. As soon as we reach the exam room I tear off my clothes and hold out my hand, waiting expectantly for the pill. As I take it I ask Aubrey to undress and once again I marvel at her extreme beauty.
There's no relief this time though as we fuck over and over again until finally, disgusted, I put my clothes on and reach for the door.
"Please fill this out Mr. Kindal."
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
November 17th
As I wake and look at the clock I'm startled to see that it's only four a.m.. I try to tell myself to go back to sleep, or at least lay here but it just doesn't work. I'm fidgety, I've got the sweats, and I'm in a terrible mood still. I dress and start running once again, back to Numatech. The lights are on inside so I try the door and am happy to see Aubrey come to the side door to greet me. I find myself undressing even as we walk down the hall to my room and greedily take the pill from Aubrey when she offers it.
Once again though I find myself feeling let down and soon realize that in my frustration and anger I'm hitting Aubrey. I think I may have heard her screaming but how long ago that was I don't know. As I pull out of her and reach for my clothes I notice how still she's laying, how much blood is on her gorgeous body, and finally I notice that she's not breathing.
I can't take this. I just killed the most incredibly beautiful woman I've ever seen. Not only that but the euphoria from two days past is bitter in my mouth. I feel the weight of my neighborhood crushing me. My only hope now is that death offers some semblance of the feeling I felt two days ago or is at least a relief from the pain of this, now, ultra-mundane existence.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
New York Times, November 18th:
Numatech Inc has been closed by the government after a study participant killed an administrator before killing himself. Numatech refuses to divulge the nature of the study the participant was involved in but has stated that they will compensate the man's family for their loss. Numatech has been cited by authorities before for unsafe and unorthodox testing policies but these are the first reported deaths involving the company.
- VS -
Entry 2
"Out of body experiences (OBEs) are those curious, and usually brief experiences in which a person's consciousness seems to depart from his or her body, enabling observation of the world from a point of view other than that of the physical body and by means other than those of the physical senses. Thus, an out-of-the-body experience can initially be defined as 'an experience in which a person seems to perceive the world from a location outside his physical body' . In some cases experients claim that they 'saw' and 'heard' things (objects which were really there, events and conversations which really took place) which could not have seen or heard from the actual positions of their bodies."(1)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael walked slowly into the bedroom. He gently pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it on top of his dresser. He unbuckled his jeans, removing and then folding them while placing them on the dresser next to his shirt. Removing his socks and underwear, Michael then faced the bed. He looked at it from headboard to baseboard then closed his eyes, envisioning himself lying on top of the mattress. In his minds eye he could see the white sheet covering the mattress and separating his body from the harsh fibers that it was made of. He could see his blue comforter pushed over to the side, barely touching his left hand as he lie in bed, chest moving rhythmically up and down with each breath he took. In his minds eye, he continued to stare at his prone body.
After what seemed like an eternity, he could see a mist forming above his sleeping self. The mist began to swirl slowly as if trying to take solid form. He watched intently as the mist enveloped the entire top of his body and became still. Then he watched as the mist floated gently up, as if coming directly out of every pore of his prone flesh. The mist began to take form.
That form was an exact twin of the body beneath it. An exact replica.
It floated up above his prone body until it had about two feet of separation, then it stopped. In Michaels minds eye he could see the mist forming around the ethereal twin. Suddenly the mist sat up at the waist and turned its head, opening its eyes and staring directly at Michael himself as he stood next to the bed. Its eyes shone like white fire and the presence they had induced Michael, with a physical shudder, to quickly open his own eyes.
The bed was still there in front of him, empty, and beckoning his tired limbs to climb in and take a rest. He sat down on the bed and felt the soft mattress submit to the weight of his body. He had been trying now for two months to experience an OBE. He was hoping that tonight would be the culmination of all his efforts.
As he lay down on the bed, his hand unwittingly went up to the chain around his neck. Without even realizing it, he had begun to flip the chain between his fingers, caressing the crucifix that had been attached to the chain since his twenty first birthday.
That was ten years ago and much had changed with his life.
It brought him some comfort, that crucifix. Even though it was a totally habitual behavior, his subconscious still felt a little more at ease knowing it was there.
He laid his body down flat on the mattress and reached up, shutting off the light that was on the nightstand next to his bed. Then he rested the back of his head on the nice, soft feather pillow that had been waiting for him. He rested his arms down at his sides, palms down, and he closed his eyes again. The ritual of the relaxation response had begun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Relaxation Response is a simple practice that once learned takes 10 to 20 minutes a day and can relieve the stress and tension that stands between you and a richer and healthier life. The technique was developed by Herbert Benson, M.D. at Harvard Medical School, tested extensively and written up in his book entitled, of all things, "the Relaxation Response"."(2)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael began to concentrate. He started by flexing his toes downward in a crunch. He flexed them fully until he couldn't hold the flex any longer. Relaxing them, he repeated the flex another two times. He progressed to his ankles, moving them in a circular motion once, and then pulling his feet back towards his shin. Then, pointing his feet down again, he moved upward to his calves.
Flexing both at the same time, holding, then releasing rhythmically, he relaxed his calf muscles. Then his knees, followed by thighs, followed by buttocks. Same routine flexing, same relaxing pause.
It took him about half an hour and by the time he got to his shoulders, the rest of his body had taken to a completely relaxed state. As he rolled his shoulders, he found it hard to concentrate, the rest of his body willing him into a trancelike state. When he was satisfied that his shoulders were relaxed, he moved up and flexed his ears, nose and mouth.
As he began to fall into sleep, he envisioned in his mind, a rope hanging down from the ceiling. This rope was sturdy and as he followed it up, he saw that it wasn't tied to anything. It just disappeared into the ceiling itself. His minds eye saw that his arms, though fully relaxed at his sides, reached up to the rope and grabbed the end tightly. With a few soft test pulls, he could tell that the rope was secured by something unseen above his room.
He fastened his ethereal grip on the rope and willed his arms to pull.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Many people report a high-energy vibrational feeling and temporary physical paralysis during separation; this is often accompanied by an intense buzzing, humming, or roaring sound. These sounds and sensations normally dissipate after separation is complete."(3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael had crossed over into sleep, but his dream was lucid, and he felt that he was in complete control of what he was doing. He willed his hands and arms to pull on the rope harder, physically trying to lift himself off the bed onto it. He pulled harder and harder, exerting in his mind a tremendous pressure on the rope. His body refused to move, lying on the bed as if it were anchored by some unseen force. He began to sweat with the exertion of his pull.
He started to release his grip just a little on the rope because his arms were beginning to tire. He decided that he would give it one last effort and just as he was changing his grip on the rope he felt a soft but very intense vibration running through his body. He could feel the rope moving towards him and it seemed as if he were pulling the ceiling closer. The whole room shifted and took on an amber hue. It was very bright and as he closed his eyes to shield himself from the light, he noticed that it was to no avail. The light had surrounded him. Ethereally, he opened his eyes again to find that the ceiling was just a few inches from his nose. His body was as light as a feather.
He took a deep breath and turned his head to the right.
His mother, Irene, was there next to him, holding her hands out to him palms up, her face covered in a smile from ear to ear. She was angelic; surrounded by a soft indigo glow, and he instantly had to suppress the scream that was desperately trying to escape his mouth.
The vibrations became softer as he watched his mother reach out to touch him. She put both her hands under his body and lifted softly. His body began to float away, the rope slipping from his ethereal grip. He looked at her as she moved him away from the bed and over to the wall of the bedroom.
"It's ok," she whispered. "Let it go."
"What if I don't make it back?" He said, fear gripping his heart in a vise.
"There are worse things," She whispered to him.
Her soft smile and reassuring nature had him releasing the rope completely. She removed her hands from him and placed the palm of her right hand over his eyes. Through her hand he could see shifting colors and changing light. Amber to pink. Pink to green. Green to lavender. He could feel his body rotating as the colors shifted. When his body came to a stop, she removed her hand from his eyes and he was standing directly in front of her. He looked into her eyes and then she looked down. His gaze followed hers and he immediately felt dizzy.
There was nothing there. No floor, no ground, nothing. He reached out to grab for her and she just smiled.
"Don't worry, Michael," she said. "You've made it, you're here. I love you."
She looked over his shoulder then, and he turned to see what she was looking at. Suspended in a bright amber haze was his bed. He could see the detail of the bedposts, the brightness of the sheet and comforter. It was as if he were looking through a filter that made everything clear and crisp.
He could see his body lying on the bed, resting. His skin color a brilliant yellow surrounded by shifting colors of light blue and orange. His body seemed to be floating away, getting further, more distant. He reached out with a misty arm and tried to will himself back.
"Soon enough, Michael," his mother said in a voice he remembered from his childhood. "Soon enough."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The term lucid dreaming refers to dreaming while knowing that you are dreaming. It was coined by the Dutch psychiatrist Frederik van Eeden in 1913. It is something of a misnomer since it means something quite different from just clear or vivid dreaming. Nevertheless we are certainly stuck with it. That lucid dreams are different from ordinary dreams is obvious as soon as you have one. The experience is something like waking up in your dreams. It is as though you 'come to' and find you are dreaming. This experience generally happens when you realize during the course of a dream that you are dreaming, perhaps because something weird occurs. Most people who remember their dreams have had such an experience at some time, often waking up immediately after the realization. However, it is possible to continue in the dream while remaining fully aware that you are dreaming."(4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael looked back at Irene and thought he saw sympathy in her eyes.
"Am I dreaming?" He asked.
"Well," she said, "That depends on how you look at things."
Michael was puzzled by her reply and took a moment to think. As he did, he felt that his body was beginning to lose balance; that it was beginning to tumble to the side.
"Feels funny, doesn't it," his mother said to him with a polite laugh as she reached her right hand out and stroked the left side of his face. He immediately reverted back to his childhood, when he and his mother used to sit on the couch, him using her lap as a pillow. They would watch television and she would casually stroke his hair and the side of his face. He would always fall asleep there and wake up in his bed in the morning, wondering if it had all been a dream.
"You get used to it after awhile," she said to him. It's not altogether different from a dream, but life is a dream as well."
He was again puzzled by this statement. She continued.
"Michael, look over your shoulder for a moment."
He turned his head and looked back upon his sleeping self.
"You see that over there, you lying in bed, asleep as if you didn't have a care in the world?
He nodded his head and watched as his body continued to sleep.
"They can put you in the ground, Michael, but that doesn't mean that you stop living; that you stop thinking." As she said this, Michael detected a hint of sorrow in her voice.
"It's wonderful here, Michael. It's solid and it's real. That room back there, the room you sleep in, that's the real dream. You just don't know it yet."
She said this with a conviction that brought a chill to his heart. He had always felt sad that he never got to say goodbye to her. She had passed in the middle of the night as they were in the middle of a grudge over one thing or another. It had been six weeks since he had spoken to her when he had gotten the phone call from his father telling him that she had passed.
It had been eight long years since that day.
He had shed no tears. In his younger days he was impetuous and unforgiving. As a more mature man, he recognized his regrets and learned to deal with them on a level that seemed sensible to him.
He looked back at her.
"I'm sor.........." He started but she wouldn't let him get it out.
"This dream we live isn't eternal, Michael. The dream ends. We give up our regrets, our hopes, our fears. Sometimes the dream is a nightmare and we can't wait to get out, to wake up. Other times we wish the dream could last forever, that we can experience everlasting joy and peace. That we can maintain a state of bliss that goes beyond anything we've ever experienced before."
In his minds eye, Michael could see tears begin to wash down his face.
"Here, we are beyond those things," she continued. "We realize that all our hopes and fears don't really amount to anything. We are beyond that. Eternally beyond all that. You have much to look forward to."
She stopped and began to look around. The light shifted from a bright amber to a soft brown. Michael sensed the shift in light and watched as it began to darken. When it reached a deep, dark gold, she spoke again.
"Don't worry Michael, the dream has yet to take you on a journey. For you, the dream of reality is really just beginning. You have yet to fulfill your destiny, and though it may seem trivial to you at the time, when you finally come to the reality, when you finally come home to me you will be your own man and it will have been a very satisfying and gratifying journey. You will see that."
As she spoke, Michael could see that she was fading just a bit. Her likeness was becoming more transparent. Her mist was beginning to dissipate.
"WAIT.............please wait. I haven't told you......"
She interrupted him in mid sentence.
"I know," she said softly. Just always remember that I know, and I love you. It's time to go."
She held her palms out flat to him and he instantly became dizzy. The sensation of falling overwhelmed him and he shut his eyes hard as the colors shifted from deep gold to crimson red, and finally to black. He felt a small vibration at the base of his neck and then he felt a hard snap course through his body.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The OBE may or may not be followed by other experiences which are self-reported as being "as real" as the OBE feeling; alternatively, the subject may fade into a state self-reported as dreaming, or they may wake completely. The OBE is sometimes ended due to a fearful feeling of getting "too far away" from the body. Many end with a feeling of suddenly "popping" or "snapping" back into their bodies."(5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael opened his eyes and found himself back in his bed. He remained motionless for a few minutes, wondering if he was really back in his bedroom. Many thoughts ran through his head, and for a fleeting moment he thought he might be dead.
The room was dark around him and he was afraid to move. He closed his eyes and an image of his mother popped into his head.
"Don't worry, Michael," she said. "You've made it, you're back. I love you," he heard her say from very far away, her voice fading with each word she spoke.
He reached up, felt for the light switch, found it and turned it on. The room was flooded with a deep amber glow and for a minute he thought he was still in the dream. He looked for a rope on the ceiling and found none. He looked around the room and realized it was as he left it. Then he doubted whether he had left it at all.
He got up from his bed and went over to the dresser. Squatting down, he opened the bottom drawer and moved a few sweaters aside revealing a large book. He pulled the book from the drawer and went over to the bed. Sitting down, he placed the book on his lap and opened it to reveal a series of photographs that he had saved. The top photo was of his mother, dressed impeccably with him beside her. It was a photo of his first communion and he and his mother had just come out of the church. They were standing on the bottom step when the photo was snapped. She was beaming with pride and he was looking like all he wanted to do was get out of the shirt and tie she had forced him to wear.
He looked at the picture, wondering how much of his actual life was really as she had said, if it was really a dream.
"I'm sorry." He said as he looked at the photo.
"I'm sorry."
He closed the book and replaced it in the bottom drawer of the dresser. He went over to the bed and laid down once more, thoughts racing through his head. Then he reached up, turned off the light, and went to sleep a changed man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
References
(1), (3), (4).
OBE OOBE The Out of Body Experience
Brainwave Entrainment Technology
(2)
The Relaxation Response
University of California Human Resources
and Benefits 10/13/98
(5)
Out of Body Experience
Wikipedia, The free encyclopedia.
Wikipedia is a registered trademark of the Wikimedia Foundation, Inc.
Entry 1:
apollo88
august_sobriquet
Axolotl
BadAssJulie
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Bubba2341
CaptainThorns
Circe
Crystle
darko
ghola
goferforhire
gravitas
HotWillie
hour_man
jfreakman
joedaddy
kaos-king
lechuza
loki
nrduncan
orph
rad1101
redskieslookfake
Remission
Shaun_Rocks
sicosemen
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
supadupapupa
WingedFoote
27 eligible votes (31 total) *
Entry 2:
Allyson
AsshOly
awesome_face
Bigmike
Brdn_Nkd
coley
Coyote
Davros
DrogoRoch
EchoBoxing
FilthyAssistant
firefly
FunnyAsCancer
helbling
Hirilnara
Impassive-Digressive
indoninja
intellismartness
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
JoeyG
JonnyX
justagirl27
kimmy02721
Magicaddict
MandaPanda
messmind
NerfHerder
Orgasmatron
peckerhead
Pentameter
rillins
simple_catalyst
Sparxicus
St_Jimmy
Stagger_Lee
stevie_says
The_Yellow_Dart
thedominator
UnderOathMeal
37 eligible votes (40 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-27 04:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I found both of these poor despite the obvious effort that went into them. Just didn't get me
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-10-26 22:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-26 15:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-26 06:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't really care for either of these. Not that they were badly written, they just didn't do anything for me.
#2 was the better I think, although it seemed too detatched.
#1 was ok, just seemed rushed.
-Dave
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-10-25 23:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2. Better writing, but the description of the entry into the OBE state could have been trimmed a lot.
#1 has a decent idea, but there are just too many imposible or ridiculous bits in it to make it work.
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, i had high hopes for one in the beginning and middle. obviously the end was a bit lacking, it ran out of steam and fizzled.
two, meh. if something more interesting had happened during the "OOBE" then I would have been voting for that one.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Great match-up. Good title. tough choice.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As much as being able to do the dirty bop with a willing lab bimb appeals to me, the second story was appealing to my mental erection.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Both good. Thought 1 was more interesting. Didn't like the use of definitions and citations and all that in entry 2.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh man.. I had the hardest time choosing in this one. Had to come back to it three times.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-24 10:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 and 2 would have been better if I didn't know what the fuck was going on before I even got into the story. It left no element of surprise.
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2006-10-24 08:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
these were pretty boring to read
Submitted by helbling (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 finished too quickly. Very good concept, but rushed to a finish. #2 was utterly surreal, but the author had done their homework and it didn't detract.
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-10-24 05:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-24 04:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Both good entries, I just felt that #1 rushed towards the end also the instant ejaculation before the subject had taken the pills just confused me.
#2 Well written and good entry, the references got a bit annoying but luckily the story still engaged me.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-10-24 02:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know....1 made more sense
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
both quite weird; can't say I particularly liked either of them...
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
both were decent
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Both really poorly written. It was Entry 1 only because "he went to sleep a changed man" is one of the suckiest lines I've ever read.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when i woke up, i voted for the one i had finished...
Submitted by Remission (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Both of these were good and written well. Two just didn't do much for me
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't read either. Don't really care
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-23 19:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry one was pretty good, but it left with with way too many unanswered questions - and that just bugged me.
Entry two on the other hand was well written and the author had clearly put a bit of work into the background research too... References? Extra marks for that!
I'm hoping that neither of these authors are eliminated this round, it would be a bit of a shame, because already I have read far worse stuff so far this round.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-23 18:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry two did not suffer from the grammatical mistakes and sentence-structure issues that plagued entry one. On the other hand, I think it could have benefitted from some tighter editing. However, it was obviously well-researched and very well-written.
Author two, once this week's competition is over, I'd be curious to learn if you've seen Waking Life. It's an interesting take on the subject.
Submitted by Sparxicus (user info) at 2006-10-23 18:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was VERY close. Unbelievably close. Only the fact that I have lucid dreamt in the past, and this essay brought back those feelings tipped the scale in favor of 2.
Submitted by rillins (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderful! I loved the added text, giving information to the story added a "credibility" to what was happening. Super job!
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn It... I enjoyed both of these.
#1 - You captured the hopelessness of the main character's plight quite well and I found the plot to be engaging. Little things like the Secretary really made this piece shine. I question some of the word choices you used, but I'm not entirely sure what I would have done different. Perhaps the ending could have been expanded a bit as well.
#2 - A very moving tale, one that I believe would do well outside the confines of Uber. It started out a bit slow in the beginning with all the description of the main character's attempts to move out of body, but the dialogue flowed well. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about all of the scientific quotes throughout the piece, but they do indeed make for something different.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thedominator (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking blows
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 nice try, not very good though
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:24:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok author 1, I get it. He wants to fuck the girl, he kills her, he kills himself. Too long for that succinct of a plot.
Author 2, this isn't English class. I thought the notations were distracting. I understand why you did it though.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always been fascinated with out of body stuff.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-23 13:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-10-23 13:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
References?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-23 13:45:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm glad to see the #2 used citations in his work - it feels kinda weird, but it's technically correct -of course I do feel some degree of responsbility, so I have to say that.
#1, your story was the literary equivalent of blue balls.
The story was a little ham-handed, but it was lumbering along, and then, BAM , you killed it. Just stopped writing. wtf?? Run out of time?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-23 13:32:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packets today?
[Yo, B, don't be throwin' on my jacket, ok?]
Cool, just trying to get your attention
So you can take a look at this invention
Now keep these, I got some more in my jacket
[Man, what are these, condoms?] Uh uh, sex packets
It's like a pill, you can either chew it up
Or like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cup
And get this: see the girl on the cover?
You black out, and she becomes your lover
[You're trippin!] No, I'm serious, these are authentic
[Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics]
Wrong again, my man, this is way more real
But since you know everything, I'll make someone else a deal
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
[Well now you got me curious, I'm kind thinkin bout buyin it]
Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it
[Well what exactly do I get?]
Well read what it says, look at the picture
[It says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33,
Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin
Man this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splurge and
get me a few of these things. How long do they last?]
Well it depends, let's see
These cheap ones here are ten minutes
But these are extra power, they last about a half an hour
And these here sell for bout 40
'Cause you get two girls [Yeah it says orgy]
Right, and if you're married, it's no big deal
You're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pill
And if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sack
It's cool, take a packet fool
Biochemically compacted sexual affection
Now here, take a look at my selection
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
[OK, I want these two boxes of three
And give me blondie here, and that one that says orgy
And, by the way, I need something for my woman]
Sure, I got guy packets [Cool, give me some of em]
Now let me tell you how to take it:
Either sit of lie down, and you really should be naked
Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean?
This is more then just a dream
It's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mind
So be careful: only take one at a time
And never take one behind the wheel
You'll black out and hit a pole [Cool, let's make the deal]
These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10
Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it even
But don't pull your money out yet, see
There's one or two narcs in this area that sweat me
Over here, [Yeah, this looks kinda cool
20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove]
Here's my number, in case you need to reach me again
And remember, you need to be as safe as you can
There's only one thing safer then using your hand
Dial that beeper number, and call the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-23 13:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really wanted to vote for 1, but it was very underdeveloped and ended very abruptly.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-23 13:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I really liked the theme of this one, and it was well executed - the reference sections broke me out of the story a little too much, but apart from that I really enjoyed it!
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one ended inconclusively. Entry two was really good and about a topic I really find interesting.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No. 2, even though the little references at the end drove me nuts.
That's right, I'm like that.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DAMMIT
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS got eliminated already, Apollo-dude.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 1 was going places, then just diiiiiiied. Brutally murdered, SPLAT, game over, man.
#2 was all around good. And I hope one of these was loki, just so I can experience her reaction to knowing I voted for the story full of typos.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
in case number 2 is ETS
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-23 12:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
entry 1 ripped off haunted.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:54:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't like the "............"s in #2. #1 held my interest and was well-written.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment