Wandering Star (961 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.47 on 76 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-23 14:20:20 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
I don't consent to these kind of interviews much. I really don't see that I did that much wrong, but it's an important story. He was my idol. I loved him—well, ever since I was a kid. I'm sure happy they still play His songs on the radio.Mom always said I wasn't like the other boys. I was sensitive. I didn't really play well with others, to use an old cliché. One of my first memories was being tackled in nursery school, shoved under a pile of four- and five-year olds. I never had a lot of friends, to be honest.
I guess you kids today would say that I was "emo." Well, let me tell you I never went around in self-pity. I accepted that I was a know-you—an invisible. I accepted, and I didn't bitch.
I kinda regret that I never made a lot of friends. I was smart, though. They put me in the gifted classes, but in Texas back when I was a kid there wasn't too much in the way of that kind of stuff. Even the teachers made fun of me, saying not to eat all the food at lunch—yeah, I was a little fat. I mean, I'm not complaining about that, I try to stand up for myself a bit, but I felt alone.
My mom loved me, though. She said I was so smart, and not to listen to those bad boys in school who called me fat and pushed me around. She said to not give one word answers, to speak up more, and to make friends by talking to people.
My mom said to be nice to others and they would be nice to me. She didn't pressure me to make friends, though.
...
I sometimes wonder if I'm like the way I am because I never had any friends, or I never had any friends because of the way I am. I would find beautiful things in nature like nests of ants and spider webs, and I'd run up to kids in my class and say to come quick before the beauty fades, suffice it to say they never came.
"Suffice it to say..."
I got beat up by those kids. I remember their names. Their faces, preserved forever as 12-year-olds, forever flash in my retinas. I was the punching bag. I was the dumb kid, the target of all their jokes, the social retard.
I got into middle school, and I wasn't that dumb kid anymore. I was nobody. I was invisible.
Don't think that I'm complaining or anything. It's just the way it was. I guess it's the way it has to be for some people. It wasn't all bad, though. I got great grades for a while.
...
I first heard their records in middle school, and liked the band more and more over my teenage years. Their music...I don't want to say it spoke to me, sounds a bit cliché, but it helped me through a lot. I mean, a LOT.
I didn't date in high school. I stayed home, with my stereo, and listened to their music...it made me feel alive, like something mattered to me. I was the invisible kid in school, the kid who never talked, the mute. But outside of school, I listened to the greatest band possible. They were my idols.
I started hearing their lead singer in my dreams. Hallucinations. All through my late teens and twenties I was their biggest fan. I traveled the world, going to all their concerts. I got into drugs. They said I had schizophrenia, that I was insane. But I would show them. I loved these guys, and I knew that if they knew me as well as I knew them, they'd want me to be happy.
They'd want me to be happy. They'd want me to not be invisible any more.
...
It was cold. Sometime in December, if my memory serves me, suffice it to say it was below fifty degrees. I was in the City, outside His house. Some other fans were there as well, loitering around the curb, but I knew I was His biggest fan. I was the one who had traveled so far to get here.
I had short brown hair, and I was a little overweight. I was wearing a black jacket and blue jeans, and had a small duffel bag. Inside the bag was Double Fantasy, one of His albums, a Walkman with about ten cassettes of His music, and of course, most of all, the gift I planned to give him. I wanted to repay him for helping me so much.
He lived in a huge apartment building in the City, by the Park. The doorman was waiting in the entrance arch, a long tunnel beneath the building, and I waited outside with the other fans. I talked with the doorman and some other fans, some cute girls. I was proud of myself that I was able to talk to them, I felt a lot more confident. I knew it was His influence, his aura in the building.
Around three or so, I saw His son walk out of the entrance arch, with a matronly looking black lady following him, holding his hand. His son was only five, but he looked just like Him. I envied him a bit, to be honest. You know, just having so much contact with Him. See, if He had been my father, things would have been a hell of a lot different. Wouldn't have hit me, for starts. He was all about love and peace.
"Hi, is this Sean?" I asked, patting the little boy on the head.
"Yes, he is," the matron said, a little bit of a Jamaican in her accent. "Say hi, Sean!"
The boy smiled. I smiled. She smiled. It was a big happy circle-jerk, I guess.
"He looks just like his father," I said as the housekeeper walked away with the boy. Such nice people, I thought.
I wasn't waiting ten minutes after when the crowning moment happened. Yeah, you heard me. I could barely believe it myself. He came out. Yes, He did. A limousine pulled up on the curb, and I saw Him and His wife walking out of the entrance arch. He was just how I imagined him.
I don't want to sound obsessed, but He was beautiful. He had wavy black hair and a little tiny pair of glasses on His hooked nose. My heart stopped. I froze, and I reached my hand into my bag to give Him His gift. The gift I had spent so much on to give to Him.
But I didn't. Instead, I grabbed His album, and decided to wait to give Him the gift. It was still so worth it just to talk to him. I was on top of the world. Other fans crowded around, but I knew he would know that I was the best.
"Sir," I said, excited as hell to finally be saying words to Him. He turned to look at me, and His clear eyes shot deep into my soul. This was my soul mate. This was my friend, the one I had searched forever for.
"Sir, will you sign this, please?" I asked, holding out the album. He smiled at me in a world-weary, poetic sort of way, and flipped out a pen and signed. Someone took a picture, and he handed me back the signed album. His bitch of a wife was looking a bit hurried, and she pulled Him into the limo, and it sped out of sight.
"Isn't that great?" a girl said to me, clutching a signed photo of Him. "He talked to me!"
Bullshit. He talked to me, not you, I thought. You don't even love him like I do, you fucking poser. I put on my Walkman and loaded a cassette in, effectively isolating me from these idiots congregated on the street. Suffice it to say I wasn't bothered any more.
I guess I waited a few hours. It grew dark. The doorman, whose nametag said José, kept looking at me funny. Maybe he knew that I was going to give Him a gift. Maybe the doorman wanted to take it from me.
...
I've always been more comfortable by myself. There, encapsuled in my own head, I was at peace. I didn't go to sleep though. I stayed awake for hours until He got back.
And the limo came rolling up to the curb, and stopped in front of his building. I huddled in the shadows, slowly putting my hand into the duffel bag. His wife got out first, walking up toward the arch and passing into the darkness. He followed after.
It's such a strange feeling to meet someone as well-known as this. To know him, but He doesn't know you. But He would know me. I'd give Him the greatest gift of all—yes, it was time. I clutched the gift as he entered the passage.
His leather jacket, His back dark in the tunnel's arch. I pulled His gift out of my duffel bag, my heart throbbing in excitement. This was it. I was finally going to thank Him for everything. I knelt down, like a holy ritual, and called out to Him:
"Hey, Mister Lennon!"
He turned slightly, ear pricked up.
I squeezed the trigger five times. It was beautiful.
The bullets ricocheted around the archway, flashing and sparking on the yellowish blocks of stone. He fell awkwardly to the side, His shoulder slamming hard against the wall, and collapsing onto His face, His glasses breaking beneath Him. I could barely conceal my grin, and my whisper of "Yes." He groaned and crawled on the ground past the arch, muttering something, His knee shattering His glasses once more.
I looked around; there was an elevator man staring wordlessly at me a few meters down, and on the curb a cab driver was looking at me in disbelief. I leaned down and placed the gun on the cobblestones, and leaned back against the wall of the arch. I got my duffel bag out, and pulled out my worn copy of Catcher In The Rye. I was at the part where Holden was talking about the ducks in Central Park.
Someone screamed "Tell me it's not true!" Must be His wife. I couldn't see Him past the line of sight of the arch, and went back to my book. There was a bit of scuffling in the distance, and I noticed out of the corner of my eye a man—Josb the doorman—standing like a shadow in the arch. I guess he saw the gun. Suffice it to say he was a bit perturbed. I always hate tension.
"Do you know what you just did?" he asked me, and I looked up at him, putting down the book for a moment.
"I just shot John Lennon."
- VS -
Entry 2
We are parallel lines that run side by side, but never touch.Travelling through our own existences along the set course, our paths were never supposed to cross.
When I gaze up at the vast night sky everything looks chaotic and random, but I know that the stars have their places. Each one moves across our sky in a predictable manner. The gap between each star is enormous, though it may look relatively close to the naked eye. They never cross; they're separate and worlds apart, so why should they cross?
Without her I am nothing. She's already come to pass; long gone from this earth, yet around every corner. We met in a text at least 50 years old, whose writings were of a time 100 years before that. There she existed: my perfect love, my endless soul mate.
But those days are long gone and I'm left modern and heartbroken. I wander this city only thinking of her as the cars and suits rush past in a fury. It's their fault we're apart. They had to grow and develop; if they had only slowed down we could have been together. They had to invent and produce, rebel and move on, give up past loves in search of a dream.
I feel stuck in this time that only goes forwards. "Slow down, damn you!" I'll scream at my clock when no one's around; no one's ever around anyways.
She is my dream and my reality. She is elegant and alluring. She is perfect for me and me for her.
A beautiful maiden who wears deep red dresses, her hair is very long and dark, and her eyes... her eyes captivate any who gaze upon their dark green hue. Alone, she sits on a stone crafted bench reading a book with a gentle smile across her face and a glow about her that just screams: "I'm in love".
She is in love with me. At least I hope she is. We must be, for we share so much in common: we laugh together, cry together, and share the same fondness and understanding of one another. There is only one thing we do not share together; the most important of all: time.
Cursed time. Wretched time. I refuse to give in to it. If I sit here with my book I can ignore it and return to a better place. With her. Always with each other. But it never works. The sun still sets and another day steps forward, taking me with it.
Friends watched me change over the short time we were together. At first they tried to hint at the fact that I never came out anymore. Then they stopped calling altogether. Finally, they showed up at my door one afternoon and told me to get dressed. They wanted to take me to a strip club and show me that all women are the same. I actually went with them too; all I saw was that none of them were like her.
Modern girls haven't got an ounce of class in them. Not like her.
We had to give each other up eventually; it couldn't last. It's hard to maintain a relationship that doesn't really exist but you know is there. We couldn't talk or see each other; we could only know that something was pulling us together, almost magnetically.
I know this sounds crazy and I had a hard time understanding it myself, but you have to believe me. The feeling that ran through me when I read the words that made her real was the same anyone gets when they pass by a stranger and make eye contact in such a way that both people feel the spark within them, only much stronger. Surely you've encountered this before.
It's like finally someone has found you. An astronomer who spends every night searching the galaxy notices that something's not quite right. Two stars perfectly aligned, perfectly in love, and perpetually separate.
We're two star-cross'd lovers together by fate and apart by reality.
I'm alone now, but I'll wait for her; like a wandering star waits to be discovered. The distant light in my life.
I miss...
~
...him.
I'm ever so lonely, so I must catch up to him; like a wandering star searching for its place. A distant light for my life.
Shakespeare coined it true - we're simply a pair of star-cross'd lovers.
It's like someone has finally found you. Like two meteors whose paths have collided, producing something magical and powerful.
What follows might sound absurd and it still doesn't quite make sense to me, but you simply must believe me. It's based entirely on a feeling I experienced merely by reading about him; a feeling so profound and overwhelming that you could just sense the chemistry. I know I'm not the only one to feel this.
We tried to make it work but the distance wouldn't allow it to. It's not like we could just pack our bags and meet halfway either. One cannot just travel through time and arrive at their lover's doorstep. It's just not possible. So why is our love?
The men around me try and charm me with coy words and cheap gestures, but none of them excite me. Not like him.
My sisters saw me disheartened and did their best to cheer me by taking me about town, treating me to lunch, and even taking me to dances in hopes that I'll find someone to take my mind down another road; someone more "present", as they like to say. The present is drab.
The time that's between us is terrifying. I don't even know what will happen a day from now, let alone the distant future, but it does sound so pleasant. With him. Always with each other. But the sun only inches along at its leisurely pace, keeping the buffer between us constant.
He loves me. I can feel it. Can a person know just by feeling? Surely I can. I know he cares for me. We could laugh together, cry together, and share a fondness that is timeless. It's what keeps us together; despite the ticking of the clock, I know he is with me.
A tall handsome man, dressed in black suit. His hair is clean cut and his eyes a gentle blue. The grin he wears is mischievous and playful, surrounded by rough stubble. He is a lone ranger in the distant future where the land is riddled with disease, but he is clean and perfect. The person anyone would be drawn to in a crowd because his only obvious infection is: "I'm in love".
He is my dream. He is handsome and proper. He is perfect for me and me for him.
I feel stuck in this time that goes by so slowly. "Speed up, damn you!" I yell at two people moseying along at their leisurely pace in front of me. I always project frustrations on others like this.
They are the ones so damned lax. Could they not at least try and move quicker? Make some small effort to speed all this up? I am clearly in a hurry to get wherever we're going. I should not be heeded by how slow they progress; I've got a date that I can't even attend! But that day is so distant and I'm left modern and heartbroken.
I digress. We met in a novel I picked up off the floor, nothing like I had ever seen before. It was about a time over 100 years in the future. Perhaps they were just words, but it all sounded so convincing. There he existed: my perfect love, my endless soul mate. Without him I am nothing.
The great night sky is complex and intimidating, yet also full of purpose; something we will never understand. Every now and then two stars will cross paths and create something new. They are moving, wandering at all times and will keep going in their intended direction. Towards, together, and apart.
Continuing on through our own destinies, our paths were never supposed to cross.
We are parallel lines that run side by side, but never touch.
Entry 1:
Allyson
apollo88
Axolotl
BadAssJulie
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Bubba2341
CaptainThorns
Confuzitron
darko
EchoBoxing
FilthyAssistant
helbling
HotWillie
Impassive-Digressive
jade_digitalmedia
JMG114
joedaddy
justagirl27
kbs050
kimmy02721
lechuza
loki
maiorano84
MandaPanda
NerfHerder
nrduncan
Pentameter
rad1101
sicosemen
Speckles
St_Jimmy
thedominator
ubetidid
WingedFoote
26 eligible votes (34 total) *
Entry 2:
august_sobriquet
Bigmike
Brdn_Nkd
Circe
Coyote
Crystle
Davros
DrogoRoch
firefly
FunnyAsCancer
ghola
GodChicken
goferforhire
gravitas
Hirilnara
indoninja
intellismartness
Jack_Burton
Jack_McCallum
JoeyG
JonnyX
kaos-king
Magicaddict
messmind
Orgasmatron
peckerhead
redskieslookfake
rillins
Sacrilicious
Shaun_Rocks
simple_catalyst
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
Stagger_Lee
stevie_says
supadupapupa
The_Yellow_Dart
35 eligible votes (37 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-27 04:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
didn't like either i'm afraid
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-10-26 22:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:57:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stephen King killed John Lennon?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-26 06:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked No. 2
-Dave
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-10-26 00:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:45:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
I voted for two because lennon was gay
-----------------------------------------------------------
you should've voted for one, then, 'cause number one was about killing Lennon...
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-10-26 00:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-10-26 00:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tough choice, I liked them both. the pieces are definitely getting better as we progess through the rounds. entry one, well researched, good details, all that. I think you did a good job of getting in Chapman's head, which has got to be pretty damn hard. entry two, great concept. I would've loved if these two characters had been actual ones from literature, though that prolly would've be a lot harder to write. not that my vote matters, but I agonized--for 2 minutes or so, anyway-- over it. in the end, went with one...
Submitted by kbs050 (user info) at 2006-10-25 20:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Okay, so it didn't really make me smile, but it was well writen, and I thought that the author did very well, and as for the other guy, what the hell was that? I mean, come on! You went all lameo Kate & Leopold type b.s. I think the first was much better. Sorry Entry 2, but...
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2006-10-25 20:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what the heck were these?
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-10-25 01:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-10-24 22:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do ya.
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 was excellent but I am fond of #1's subject matter. tough choice.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-24 08:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Neither really adhered that much to the title, but #2 was simply sublime. One of the best concepts I've ever read.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-10-24 08:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not the end of the world , these 2 posts...
Submitted by helbling (user info) at 2006-10-24 08:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-10-24 05:38:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-24 05:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I figured out who the victim in #1 was very early on, and my lack of interest for him unfortunately swayed me away from #1.
Then I read #2 and was completely lost for much of it. I found it didn't hold my interest at all. so my vote goes to #1
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2 was a bit repetitive, but i liked the way it was written
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The Lakehouse gets my vote
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 didn't live up to its potential, and didn't explain nearly enough.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shouldn't this garbage be eliminated by this point?
I refuse to vote.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:38:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:17:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you had shot Kurt Cobain, that probably would have done it for me.
------------------------------
Cobain realized he was married to Courtney Love and killed himself. Can't blame him.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:39:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like Pentameter vs. Shawn_Rocks
-----------------
That was last round, I'm against Orgasmatron this round
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1, great idea, great turn at the end, but it took so fucking long with so much fucking ambiguous dialogue. Although I like the capitalized "H" on the He and His in the story. Showing that the shooter thought of him as God. If that wasn't on purpose though, then you suck.
2, Story was decent, writing and word use were outstanding. You edged my vote.
I liked ones story better but the writing bothered me too much.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
2 was cool, but 1 seemed a bit more to my liking.
Submitted by Jack_Burton (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Has a picture
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-23 19:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one seemed a bit clumsily written - I'm not sure how much of that was purely by design. I didn't mind it overly though. Entry two on the other hand I struggled to finish - the semi-poetic styling just didn't work for me at all.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-23 19:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, the attempt to humanize Mark David Chapman didn't work particularly well, or make any reference to the title...
Entry 2 took elements from The Lake House (or whatever foreign movie it was remade from), but was the better read.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-23 18:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both of these were magnificent. I wish that there was a way to vote for both of them. Character studies are generally passive in nature, but these were engrossing and fun to read. Both authors should be very proud.
Author one, I especially liked the capitalization of "Him" and "He" whenever Lennon was referenced, adding special reverence to the man. Additionally, I liked author two's playful sense of whimsy within the entire imaginative situation.
This was a tough, tough vote.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-23 18:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 - Some of your word choices were awkward and the pacing was a bit off. I've read up on Mark David Chapman and his supposed reasons for murdering Lennon; your tale doesn't really match up with the documents. Chapman felt more of a jealousy towards Lennon from what I understood and he wanted to steal the fame away from the musician. Regardless, it was an interesting take on the title.
#2 - I really dug this. Kinda abstract and a bit too esoteric, perhaps, I doubt many people on Uber will vote for this one. Yet another very interesting take on the title.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-10-23 18:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thedominator (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rillins (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Both of these are so close. It feels like the same author wrote both.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:05:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:28:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, I would have fucked Hillary Clinton with my own dick to get this title. I could have gone apeshit on the sci-fi.
--
I would have fucked her with Jack's dick to get this title. And then I would have wrote about it. AND NOT PROOFREAD.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I loved both of these. But I went with my heart.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like Pentameter vs. Shawn_Rocks
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't know why, but I liked this one a lot.
Entry one was well done, but entry two hooked me more.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Another tough call, jesus christ.
Both entries had MAJOR +'s and -'s.
#2 had some lovely writing, but that concept has been used many times in fantasy and sci-fi and there was nothing really new here.
I knew what was happening in #1 the moment I saw the name Sean, and this piece was VERY well-written, if not the most original.
I'm gonna vote for #2, since the author had the balls to try something so different with that title, and since the title didn't really click with entry #1 (as good as it was).
Sorry, #1. This was a solid entry.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you had shot Kurt Cobain, that probably would have done it for me.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:58:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
suffice it to say..... that that phrase irked me every time I saw it. #2 was more to my liking anyway.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pretty damn good, author 1.
Entry 2 just can't stand up to that.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1 was good, but could have been better. I figured out it was Mark Chapman too early. Could have made for a good twist.
Isn't 2 a movie? I remember seeing commercials that sounded a lot like this, except in the movie the couple was only two years apart. I think it had Sandra Bullock and Keneau in it, but I don't care enough to look it up.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, I would have fucked Hillary Clinton with my own dick to get this title. I could have gone apeshit on the sci-fi.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one was good, but what did it have to do with the title? Entry two could have been written better, but I liked the "parallel" line.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
even though I so saw through this
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-10-23 15:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yawn
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:55:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Suffice it to say, this was a tough decision.
But Entry 1 kicked ever slightly so much more ass.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Speckles (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both were very very good.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I voted for two because lennon was gay
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
scouse power@
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i had a really hard time picking. that is to say, the first one was boring and poorly written.
the second one was just boring.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tough call, but number 2 was the one I enjoyed more. It's a simple as that.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-10-23 14:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Guns trump sap.