Love Always (993 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.42 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-23 20:40:23 EDT
 |
This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
Love always made me crazy.Crazy with emotion, crazy with joy, crazy in ways I could never even fathom or fully understand.
Love can also hurt like a bitch. Not just in the fucked up, philosophical guise of a broken heart, but also in the much more tangible sense of pure, unadulterated physical pain.
That may have been part of the attraction, I guess. But if it was, it was only a small and seemingly surreptitious piece of it. The biggest part of it was simply the feeling of being wanted, being needed. Looking back, this may have been the main problem when it came to me and Stephanie. There were other problems too, of course, but they were just too numerous and insignificant for me to waste this prison issue notepad on.
Steph, like me, was a high school social reject. Shunned by the mainstream crowd and taunted by caricatures of cool iconic popularity, we forged our own friendship and leaned on each other for support, while we pondered the parody and problems of being pariahs.
Although we eventually ended up as lovers, we were never high school sweethearts. I think the furthest it ever went during our school days was a drunken, fumbled attempt at mutual masturbation, which left us howling in hysteric laughter. We were just friends back then, drawn together through the one thing we had in common - the failure to integrate into a common congregation.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and in retrospect, I really should have seen the signs of degradation in Steph's mentality. After all, I was the closest person to her. She still lived at home, but home was a trailer park, Daddy was a drunk, and Mommy bore the brunt of a tempestuous alcoholic's temper.
I was too busy being blinded by my own problems that I never realised just how far Steph had gone. Years passed, and by the time I noticed, I was so deep in love, that I just let myself slide and fall down with her.
It all started on her 18th Birthday. We had taken one of the bottles of Vodka that her Dad had hidden around their trailer home in a drunken state, and subsequently forgot about, and we went up into the woods. We were pleasantly high on the intoxicating liquor, and were thinking what we could do for some fun. My feelings for Steph had begun to incorporate lust over the past few years, and I knew damn well what we could do. But I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I stayed quiet.
When Steph spoke, I was suddenly slapped back from my semi-drunken stupor into a cold stark reality.
"Hey, I know what we can do..... Do you like to bleed, Billy?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do you think I mean? I mean bleed! I mean cutting yourself, and watching the deep red liquid form a river and slide off your body in delicate drips." She lifted her sleeve and showed the criss-crossing of scars running up her arm. Many played gently over the radial artery, all of them parallel with her arm.
"Hey, I never had you down as a self-harmer... that's fucked up, Stephanie!"
"It's not self harm, you asshole! I don't do this as some pathetic cry for attention. I'm not some emotional whore who does this out of depression, I do this for pleasure! I mean fuck, it feels better than playing with myself. And don't use my full name, you know I hate it. It's so fucking god damn...... pretentious." She spat the last word out as if it had a sour flavour to it, then quickly took the taste away with a sip from the vodka bottle.
"You do this for fun?"
"For the fun, and for the thrill," she leaned into my ear and dropped her voice to a whisper. ".....Seeing how close you can get to death. It's like the ultimate game of chicken. How far would you go, Billy boy?"
She swallowed the last of the liquid in the bottle, and smashed it against the tree to the side of her. Bitter points and spiteful shards glistened from the end of the bottle which she firmly clutched by the neck.
"Do it to me, Billy. And don't hold back...." She handed me the bottle and offered up her arm. She was breathing heavily, as if this was some form of forbidden foreplay, arousing her with its masochistic method. "What are you waiting for, slice me, you little bitch!"
With shaking hands, I took the bottle and pressed lightly into the crook of her elbow. What the fuck was I doing? Before I could contemplate this any further, she grabbed my wrist with her free hand, and pulled it sharply downwards and towards herself. The shard of glass spiked deep into the delicate flesh and ripped down the contour of her forearm. Her whole body bucked as if in orgasm, and she began screaming my name.
"Billy! Billy, oh fuck yeah, Billy!" I dropped the bottle and stepped back horrified at the sight of the blood flowing from her open wound like lava down the side of a volcanic mountain. Her face was going pale, and she collapsed down onto her knees. Weakly, she lifted her head, and her face wore a smile of post coital bliss. "Now it's your turn!"
She ripped the sleeve from her top and fashioned a tourniquet to stem the flow of blood, but only after I had begged for her to do it. She was quite happy to sit limply on the forest floor, watching the endless stream of red running from the open wound. When she was done, she embraced me in a hug, and whispered once again into my ear. "Trust me, Billy".
It was at that moment, something stirred inside me. I wanted this woman more than anything. I wanted to be part of her world. I wanted to succumb to whatever she desired, and be there in her every fantasy.
She ripped open my shirt, picked the broken bottle off the floor, and cut a jagged diagonal line across my torso. The sharp glass slid through my skin with an eerie ease, and tore through my tissue like a keen razor blade. The sensation was not immediately of pain, but of some perverse illicit pleasure.
As the blood began to course down my chest in cascades of crimson rivulets, Steph dropped the bottle and forced her lips onto mine with such force, I stumbled backwards. We fell together to the soft, pine needle covered floor, and there for the first time, we made love, in a sweet, sickly mixture of each others blood.
It was amazing, and from that night on, we spiralled down a delicious descent into our own fantastical world. We carried out this ritual several times over the coming months, and although it fascinated me each and every time, Steph was slowly starting to lose her desire for it. It just wasn't doing it for her anymore. Although I still found her beautiful, and perfect in every way, parts of her body had become twisted and contorted with the lines of ragged scars, and her flesh, once soft and silken, had lost its sensual smoothness.
Steph had lost the urge, and wanted to up the game. Like a thrill-seeker in search of a bigger roller-coaster, or an addict chasing the elusive high of their first hit, she wanted to do more. She wanted to get closer to death, to leave it longer before she jumped out of the way of the oncoming express train. She told me she had an idea for a new game, but she wanted to make it special, to tell me when the time was right.
That night, she set a candlelit table at my apartment, and cooked a romantic meal for the two of us. All through the meal, I kept asking her what the new game was going to be, but each time she hushed me up, and told me to wait. When we had both finished our meals, and drained the last drops of wine from our glasses, I asked her once again.
"So, are you gonna tell me, already? You can't keep a guy waiting like this, that's teasing, and you know it. What's the game?" She put her glass down and looked me straight in the eye.
"My darling, it's already begun." She continued to stare at me, and began to smile at the blank expression that formed on my face. "I poisoned our wine, Billy. Just a little drop of strychnine, for each of us. Not enough to kill us...... at least I hope."
I sat there in shock. Surely she was bluffing, right?
Wrong. Before I could say anything, I felt a sensation like a belt clinching around my chest. The pain seared up into my head, and hallucinations began to swirl across my vision, with dark demons whirling like deadly dervishes in a murderous, maniacal waltz.
I fell to floor, with my body paralysed and my vision fading. My last sight was of Steph collapsing to the ground, and fighting to crawl towards my prostate body. My last thought was of hoping she would make it, and that we could die in each other's arms.
I'm not sure how long we were out for, but when I came around, Steph's head was nestled against the nape of my neck. With my head still foggy from the toxin, I slowly rolled over and looked at her pallid, ashen face. Saliva hung in thick strands from the corner of her mouth onto the floor, and even though her face was drained of colour, she was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. I wiped her face clean, and eventually she came round, and we made love right there on the floor of the apartment, still with traces of death within our bodies.
After the strychnine event, Steph calmed down for a while. We both new how close we had come to dying that night, and realised it was time to stop flirting with the cloaked man and his scythe. It was only fun when you lived thorough it.
But it was only a matter of time before she got bored. Only a matter of time, before she got fed up of living life away from the edge, and decided to play another little 'game'.
Love making without a chance of death was a chore for Steph. All the foreplay in the world could never get her as wild as the thought that she could die at the time. Her attempts to please me were half hearted, so when she came on strong one night, I knew she had something in mind.
For the first time in months, she had initiated love making, and proceeded to go down on my naked body kissing softly as she went. I lead on my back, eyes closed, enjoying the sensation, and kept them closed as she made her way back up my body. As I felt her sit up and slide me inside her, I slowly opened my eyes to the biggest shock I had ever had.
I was staring down the barrel of some form of handgun. I didn't really care about the make or model, all I cared about was that is was pointing right at me. She continued to move her hips up and down and turned the gun around so the handle was facing me.
"Take it Billy.... I want you to shoot me from the outside when you shoot me on the inside. I want you to shoot me, just here..." She pointed to a spot on the side of her body. "You can do it, Billy, it won't hit anything, it'll just go right through me, just a flesh wound, but please Billy, please, shoot me when you cum..."
That was the final straw. She wanted me to put a bullet in her when I came? This was too messed up. I looked at the gun, and looked at Steph, who was clearly getting off on the whole situation. I threw my weight up, and forward, spilling her off my body, and backwards onto the bottom half of the bed.
"You are one fucking crazy bitch! You know I love you, I really do, but this is too much...... I am not gonna shoot you! End of story."
I still held the gun in my hand as I got up off the bed, and made my way to the corner of the room where my clothes had been flung in a pile.
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. As I turned my back on the naked figure on the bed, I heard a scream that I had never heard before come from behind me. In that one scream alone, in the few short seconds it lasted, there were uncountable emotions. Defiance, rage, fear and hurt were just a few I picked up on.
Steph had stood up on the bed, and using the mattress as a springboard, she leapt onto my back, twisting, scratching, biting, and exhaling curses I would never had interpreted. I flailed around, trying to shake her off, but she was clinging on well, as her nails and teeth sank their way into the flesh around my neck.
I threw my whole body backwards, and impacted her body against the wall. This stunned her enough for me to finally shake her off, and I turned to see her body slumped on the floor. In a second she was on her feet, crouched and poised to strike. It was purely instinct, that when she leapt at me, I lifted the gun and fired.
She fell to the floor, holding her mid section where the bullet had impacted. Slowly, but surely, using the wall for support, she managed to regain her feet. I couldn't believe what I had done.
"Steph..... what have I done....." she raised her head, and smiled at me. It was hard for her to speak, but she managed one word.
"Thank..... you......" she tried to step forward but just slid along the wall. She stumbled up into the middle of the room, and reeled headlong straight to the other side. When she put her hands up to support herself against the opposite wall, they landed on thin air. The window was open, and with no control against her weight she simply crashed through, and fell the seven storeys to the cold hard concrete floor.
So now, I sit here in my cell, contemplating how I ended up here. I had given her what she wanted, hadn't I? My lawyer is trying to go for the manslaughter angle. Self defence, or some shit like that. As for me? I tried to plead insanity, but I knew it would never wash.
Like I said, love always made me crazy. I just wish the jury could see that.
- VS -
Entry 2
She's smiling at me.Blond hair swept across soft blue eyes that at this perfect moment, seem to be glowing with a light of their own. She stays there on that golden beach, flawless face forever framed by an azure sky so deep you could wrap yourself up in it and for a split second maybe forget about everything that you used to think mattered. That's how it'll always be for me anyway, regardless of what happened after.
Regardless of anything..
~~~
Smashed knuckles explode across his face, drenched in blood, I can't tell if it's mine or his anymore. I don't much care. The screaming stopped an hour ago but he still lets out a soft whimper as he opens what's left of his mouth to let the blood and drool dribble down his already soaked chin.
"Tell me." I murmur again.
~~~
Somewhere in the distance a seagull crows on the breeze, lost almost immediately in the crash as a wave breaks on our beech and then slithers across the sand back into the ocean. She never says anything, but I guess she'll never need to. As long as she keeps smiling.
~~~
A frosty chill sits in the air and my breath clouds as I stride through the streets towards Max's hideout. Of course it was him. There's no surprises left in this world, not for me anyway. I guess the only real shock is that I'm still breathing. For the moment, at least.
Crimson drips from broken hands that should be starting to ache by now but I can't feel anything, haven't been able to for weeks. Part of me knows that I can't blame it on the booze this time. I think for a briefest instant that maybe I should have worked down that punk with a hammer but that's fucking bullshit - It needed to be fists.
I needed it to be fists
~~~
And just like I always do when I see her face, that sense of peace envelops me, comforts me, washes everything away. I could spend a blissful eternity on this beach, staring at those eyes, at that soft expression, at that smile.
~~~
Don't think about it Jack. It'll ruin you. Slow you down.
But that aint true. It drives me, gives me purpose, dulls my mind. It reminds me why I'm doing this. It's A Reason.
And if ever man needed reason right now it's me.
So I let it back in.
~~~
Liquid adoration flows from her and I feel that stab in my chest that I used to think of as painful before. But she taught me something that day, and despite it all, it made me feel human.
And It's been a long time since I felt that way.
~~~
Street thugs and pimps, crackheads and dealers, they all dissolve outta my way on this moonless night. Most of them know me, but that aint why they're moving. They're moving because they know I aint gonna stop, not for them. Not for anybody.
Rage flashes through for an uncontrollable instant and I can feel an animal snarl building in the back of my throat. That Mother Fucker.
Keep it together Jack, just for a few more minutes.
I push it down and my mind blanks again. Don't think, just walk. Walk to this Bastard's hole and find him. Then you can let it out. Then you can see her again.
But I'll see her before that. Every time I close my eyes.
~~~
That smile. That fucking smile.
Nobody ever looked at me like that. And it's perfect. Fucking Perfect.
But that bastard took it all away.
And now he's gonna pay.
~~~
Two on the door.
They manage an apprehensive glance at each other when they see my grim expression and purposeful gait and one holds up his hand and opens his mouth to tell me to stop. No fucking way.
I remove the blade I took from the thug in Sarah's apartment from my pocket and it's stuck in the gullet of Lead Heavy before he's even formed his words, a red froth erupting from his mouth instead. Heavy Two freezes up for an instant as he watches his partner try to choke down air and that one instant is all I need. He's on the ground a second later and I'm on top of him, blooded hands around his neck wringing the life out of him. His eyes bulge as I tighten my grip and I can see his capillaries begin to haemorrhage and burst.
A dull thud when I crack his head on the steps for good measure and then I'm up again and climbing those steps and kicking down the door to Max's
~~~
One day.
That's all it takes to change a man, all it took to change me. You can go your whole life with nothing but hatful of disgust and self loathing and then one smile from one dame can take it all away from you and give you something else in return. Something better. Something worth fighting for.
Even after it's gone.
~~~
My feet scratch across bare dusty floorboards and some of Max's girls look up from their mattresses with unseeing eyes, too fucked up on whatever shit he's got them pumped full of to even comprehend who I am or what I'm doing.
"Where?" I rumble and an unconscious look from the girl closest to me in this dimly lit shithole tells me that he's in the back room.
Almost there now Jack. We're almost done.
He walks into the room and looks up at me and everything falls silent, stills.
And then his face breaks out into a grin, white teeth gleaming against black skin.
"Jack!" He says happily, "How you doin nigga?"
Motherfucker doesn't care. Doesn't know what she meant to me. Thinks he can reach in to somebody's life and tear out their heart and then smile at them a month later like nothing happened. Fuck him. Fuck this pimp nigger Cunt.
I charge across the damp, musty crackden bellowing with an burning vengeance. Max isn't ready for me and the friendly expression dies on his face to be replaced by one of exquisite shock. But that shock won't last long, it'll be swapped with something else soon. I'll make sure of that.
His hand flashes to the pistol I know he keeps tucked in his jeans but he doesn't have time to draw down on me before I smash headlong into him and we both tumble to the deck a mass of flailing limbs.
"Nigga you Crazy!?" He screams at me.
But I can't hear him. All I see is Sarah's face as I lay into him with hands, feet and face. Whatever's available. We roll across the floor trading savage blows, mine powered by a terrible anger his by fear.
And then somehow we're separated, both scrabbling to our feet to get ready for the next part of the fight, our heads frantically scanning the floor of the long room. Neither of us are thinking anymore. Both of us just want that Gun.
The gun that's landed by my feet.
I'm down in a heartbeat and curl my hand around the walnut grip before Max even knows what I'm doing.
"This is it, you fucker" I yell, standing up and drawing to aim at his chest. "This is for Sarah."
I'm about to pull the trigger but a strange noise pulls me up short. Laughter. Mother fucker is laughing at me.
"Sarah?!" He chuckles. "You're doing all this for that bitch?" Laughing uncontrollably.
My ears pop as the shot rings out round the room and the rank odour of sweat and piss is immediately overpowered by cordite and blood. I sink to my knees. My anger and adrenaline fuelled strength ebbing.
Steam rises from the hole in my chest as my blood hits the cold atmosphere and I fall forward, face down, losing vision. Through the muffle of my still ringing eardrums, I can hear Max walking over to me.
"You Stupid Mother Fucker" He says, rolling me over with his boot.
The last thing I see before everything fades is Sarah, her arm snaking around her pimp. Gun still smoking in her hand.
She's smiling at me.
Entry 1:
alamalmithral
Allyson
Angel72nd
AsshOly
Axolotl
BadAssJulie
CaptainThorns
Circe
Coyote
Crystle
Davros
domenad
DrogoRoch
firefly
forthewin
ghola
GodChicken
gravitas
helbling
HotWillie
Impassive-Digressive
intellismartness
Jack_Burton
jfreakman
JMG114
JoeyG
JonnyX
LadyK
lechuza
loki
Magicaddict
MandaPanda
NerfHerder
nrduncan
Orgasmatron
rad1101
redskieslookfake
Sacrilicious
Shaun_Rocks
sparkle_pink
St_Jimmy
UnderOathMeal
35 eligible votes (42 total) *
Entry 2:
august_sobriquet
Bigmike
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Bubba2341
Confuzitron
darko
EchoBoxing
FunnyAsCancer
HadToBeDone
Hirilnara
indoninja
Jack_McCallum
joedaddy
kaos-king
messmind
Method
Pentameter
sicosemen
simple_catalyst
Spam
SPECIALk
Stagger_Lee
stevie_says
The_Yellow_Dart
24 eligible votes (24 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-27 06:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oved it
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-27 04:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fell to bits at the end
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-10-26 22:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 19:19:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-26 16:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-10-26 15:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And by clice I meant cliche.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-10-26 15:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ugh...both are so clice but entry 2 is the lesser of two evils.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-26 11:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-26 06:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a really tough call for me.
Entry 1 started well, but the ending felt a little weak.
Entry 2 didn't start that well, but got stronger towards the end.
Coin toss.
-Dave
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-10-26 05:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
funny that a love subject leads both writers to a bloody product .
ironical.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-25 23:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
crazy bitches..
Submitted by Angel72nd (user info) at 2006-10-25 20:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+10
Loved it
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-10-25 01:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-24 23:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Number one was creepy as hell. Almost too creepy. But nice alliteration here: "while we pondered the parody and problems of being pariahs."
Number two was just too disjointed.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-24 19:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Interesting that both had guns involved here
"I needed it to be fists"
that line reminds me of last time in UM3 where soemone said his fists formed fists - that made him extra fisty!
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-24 18:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 was deliciously fucked up.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Author 2 left me no choice but to vote for Entry 1, despite the fact that the staggering through the open window to land on the concrete below mad me laugh out loud.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:28:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is the first UM entry I've actually read. Didn't read #2 though. Sorry.
--
Yesterday I inhaled a gnat with more brains than you. You go into all these different UM posts and don't read or rate? If you're that desperate for attention just walk down the fucking street naked.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 started off shaky, but found its legs. Well done.
Sorry #1, but I just can't bring myself to vote for a tale about a batshit crazy chick, however well-written it may be, since (1) this kind of thing is almost an uber standard, and (2) that's the only kind of chick I ever attract in real life. I'd give my left nut to meet someone who is cute, but kind of dull. I've had enough of exerting myself just to carry on a simple conversation.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Number one is incredibly disturbing but very well written.
Number two, I couldn't stand the formatting, and had trouble staying focused while reading.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
2 was good, though it took too long to get going
1 was very good
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both stories were visceral and very edgy. I voted for one because it made me more uncomfortable.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1 was really great.
2 lost me at the end. Sarah's dead, she's alive. Would have been nice to know why the guy thought she was dead and who she was to him.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Only UM could turn a love story into death and mayhem.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-24 10:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These were both real good. Two was just more to my liking, I guess.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-24 09:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Says a lot about Uber that with a saccharine title like 'Love Always' the two writers came up with dark tales of blood and murder.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-24 08:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Both of these are very out there, but I like the way #1 built up.
Submitted by helbling (user info) at 2006-10-24 08:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-24 05:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate to have to choose between these two, I liked both of them. #1 gets it just. Thanks to both for good reads.
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-24 03:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was too damn close.
The only thing about entry one is it shifted me out of the story sightly with some of the word choices.
Sorry.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-10-24 03:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry ONE by a mile.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:10:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck... these were both good.
#1 - You had some well-developed characters and you painted a vivid picture with your word choices. I wish you had not started it out with revealing the main character was in prison. I think that gave just a little too much information away. Regardless, it was a great ride to the end.
#2 - At first I thought this seemed a bit disjointed, but once I got into the rhythm of it, it was quite enjoyable. I didn't expect that ending coming at all. Tough choice, but you get my vote by just a slim edge.
Submitted by LadyK (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sort of regretting my vote on this one.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No comment
Submitted by alamalmithral (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
keen.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
Love always.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:55:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 2 bored me to death.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why did both of these love stories have something to do with cutting yourself? One gets it for the details that made me cringe.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is like having to pick which of Lojope's posts are better.
I won't vote for either.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read either
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
whoa dude!, your woman left you for a nig...?!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was well-written and really drew me in.
Some of the word choices and syntax in #2 were truly bizarre. Fucking pimp ass Cunt or something like that, and the formatting didn't really impress me either.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is the first UM entry I've actually read. Didn't read #2 though. Sorry.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_Burton (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What ever happened the nice love story? The happily ever after?
Bah. Who am I kidding? Entry one gets my vote, because it had me transfixed from start to finish.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
KILL DEM BITCHES
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-23 20:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ugh