Sedation (667 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.48 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-23 21:50:56 EDT
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Entry 1
"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, just as it is the spirit of a spiritless situation. It is the opium of the people." - Karl Marx, Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He stepped over a stray arm that had been blown off in an explosion, careful not to let the congealed blood seep up onto his pant leg. Death had always been a daily part of existence here in this part of the Earth, but recently it had escalated to the brink. The rubble of what used to be homes lie scattered about; an occasional body lending a certain surrealism to the scene. Fires roared in various places all about, illuminating the growing dusk and he stopped to watch a bomb detonate in the distance.
Scaling a small hill, he saw the Mosque up ahead. All the glass had been blown out days ago and the rear of the structure appeared to be smoking. Once this place had been filled by the neighborhood devoted for their times of prayer, for their worship of Allah. Now, thanks to the growing battle in Gaza, it was nothing but a husk.
He took the stone stairs that had been carved in the hill and found himself at the wooden double doors. He ran a hand across them, admiring the fine craftsmanship that had been done here years ago. The maker of these simple doors had known that they had been fashioning the entrance to a holy place and had done so in a loving manner. Now the doors were charred and covered in soot, one barely hanging onto its hinges.
Peering though the opening, he could see his contact sitting on one of the few remaining unbroken benches near the wall, the open temple floor waiting for the rugs of the praying. His associate was dressed in modern American clothes, his black hair cropped short with a day or two of stubble on his face. The man seemed to be leaning back in meditation.
Then he shook his head with a smile as he noticed the small white ear phones his contact had in; the I-Pod in the man's hand.
Chuckling to himself, he picked up a pebble as he eased through the shattered doorway. He dropped it in the pocket of his tan corduroy jacket and took long enough to tie his long, wavy blond hair back in a loose pony tail. The other individual was now tapping his foot along with the beat flowing into his ears.
Retrieving the pebble, the Archangel Gabriel took aim and threw it directly at the Demon Astaroth's forehead.
"Ow! You bastard, that hurt," exclaimed the Fallen One, his eyes now wide open and rubbing the space right above his left eye.
Gabriel let out a short laugh and walked over to sit beside the Demon. Astaroth shifted to give his former brother space on the bench and offered him one of the ear phones. The Divine took it and listened with a grimace on his face.
"Iggy Pop? I still can't believe your crew snagged him," said Gabriel.
"Ol' Red had a thing for rock stars back in the late sixties and seventies," shrugged Astaroth. "Most of them are jammin' for us in the pit now. Hell, only Iggy and Keith are left to claim."
"That may be true, but we got Lennon on our team," replied Gabriel.
"And what's the deal with Bowie!" laughed Astaroth.
"Man, we're STILL not sure," grinned the Archangel handing the headphones back.
Both entities tried to keep laughing, but the sounds dried up in their surroundings. Another bomb exploded off in the distance and Gabriel sighed. Astaroth gathered up his toy and placed it in one of the pockets of his black suede jacket. Both sat there for a moment in silence until the Demon pulled out a pack of Lucky Strikes, lit up his index finger and took a puff.
"How are things downstairs?" asked Gabriel, already knowing the answer.
"Things are Hell, Gabe, no pun intended," the Demon said. "We can't keep track of who's suppose to be there legitimately or not. The paperwork alone is a rancid bitch. The crusades were way more manageable than this. What's Big Daddy G have to say on it?"
"Officially? He says we must love all of His creatures, and all of His faiths are of His blessing," recited Gabriel.
"Unofficial?"
"He thinks it's turned into one giant clusterfuck," replied the Archangel.
Astaroth started laughing so hard he began to choke on the smoke from his cigarette.
"I'll tell you this Roth, something's got to be done soon. We have vicious murders basking in the shinning white light of Heaven and misguided youth suffering in the infernal black blazes of Hell. Sometimes the difference between the two is miniscule, but sometimes..."
Astaroth regained normal breathing and turned to his old friend. "Gabe, the faiths were created to give humanity a choice. They were also created to give them something to believe in, something to feel closer to, to feel part of something bigger than them."
"Now, there are some brethren in Hell," continued the Demon, "who feel that this plan was flawed from the beginning and that that's been okay. All these different religions and beliefs and The Dude Upstairs just gives the thumbs up every time a new one appears. From Allah to Brahma, Buddha to Odin, shit... he'll even toss on a skirt and go by Gea. He loves his kids so much he won't tell them 'no.' But it's becoming a problem for everyone involved."
"It was just suppose to make them feel good about their lives!" exclaimed Gabriel. "Feel like they mattered in the bigger picture, or what not. They were lullabies for primitive man to tell their children so that they would grow up a little more refined. Fables and lessons about love!"
"Gabe..." tried Astaroth.
"And Satan didn't even HAVE to interfere," said the Archangel, his voice lowering. "They did it all themselves."
"I know," said the Demon. "Faith was suppose to be about peace."
Gabriel grimaced. "And Michael said eons ago that it would have a calming influence over the mortals."
"Yeah well, that concept was about as flawed as your 'strategy' last time we played Halo 2," laughed Astaroth.
Even the Archangel had to laugh at the absurdity of the Fallen One's statement.
"Well," said Gabriel getting to his feet, "I should be returning. I was told to check in with my counterpart to assess the problems you guys were having in Hell. I highly doubt anything will be done with this information, other than the Cherubs shuffling it into a committee sometime in the next century."
"Yeah, Beelzebub and Belial are too busy fighting over office politics to actually get any work done."
The two entities walked out of the Mosque into the twilight. They watched as more bombs exploded to the west, much closer than the last few. The fires burned even brighter in the setting sun and the sound of gun fire erupted from just over the next embankment.
"Some times I feel like we're all useless," said Gabriel in a soft voice, watching the sky light up.
"How do you think I feel, old friend," sighed the Demon Astaroth.
- VS -
Entry 2
This waking dream is the only world I know.Is it fair for me to exist only in my own mind and await a distant death, or should I burn us all for what they have done to me? Should they die simply for fearing what they don't understand? Should I die for their fear, or my revenge? Or for It?
I've always tended to favor living...
I don't know how long I've been here, or even where "here" really is. I suppose it could be months, years? I've always resigned to simply never know; to someday just die. Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not in too much of a rush to meet the maker, or the abyss, or nothing. I don't know what would happen to the demon either. Whatever's out there in the afterlife will surely come to me in my own due time, but you can't blame a trapped and isolated mind from contemplating its mortality. It's all I have. And Power.
Every few hours, or days maybe, my mind wrestles its way into restlessness. I find myself in a hazy dream world, spiraling towards vividness and sharpness. Sometimes it's good, strolling on a grassy ridge at dawn, the touch of a lover's hand in my own. Other times it's terrifyingly bad; the capture, the secret trial. Sometimes it's about the Fallen Elemental who resides in my soul. Most of the time I do everything I can to accept subconscious as reality because it is the only conscious reality I still have, tattered remnants of memory and imagination. If I allow myself to awake, it will all be over again. I'll have to fade again.
Somehow, I've learned to truly love myself, to embrace the awe and amazement of what you can train your mind to do for you, on your behalf. In time, you can learn to hold onto a dream and make of it what you will. Like this very moment. Remembering what the drag of a cigarette is like, a warm tropical blue wave, the feel of a kiss, a moment of contemplation, or the power of Wildfire, are all nothing more than a thought away.
No one can hold the dream forever, though. Something will eventually be too real, too pleasurable or painful. A veritable orgasm of illusion will be too much for the mind to bear without the body's acknowledgement. It is at that moment that I feel the thick cables wired through my body. My eyes will struggle against all weight to open, but I will suddenly remember the same thing I have felt hundreds of times before, that my eyes were removed long ago. Nothing hurts. I will feel surprisingly okay. My body is weak, but I suppose it is from lying in this bed, and surely the drug. They sedate me to contain The Burn.
Admittedly, my sanity wavers and flinches at times, but is generally still of my own control. In that brief and barely conscious moment I am allowed to awaken, I fleetingly think of a family member or a long lost friend, hoping to manifest them in my next waking dream. I wait for the warmth of drug. My voice is far too weak to speak, but in a second, I know it won't matter.
The Inferno in the back of my mind begins to smolder, and I contemplate turning this room, this cell, maybe this entire building into a white hot fireball. Only a second or two to wonder. They must think I can't do it anymore, since removing my eyes. In my former life, I was only able to combust what I could see, what It could look through my eyes to see, but in this silent black sedation they have imprisoned me to, It has changed. In the myriad of waking dreams, I've come to realize that I know how. I know how to burn it all. No precision, no control. True Pyro. My mortality is all that I have, but I hold their lives in my hands as well. Everyone in this building lives only at my subconscious disposal. And The Flame? I hold its freedom. It wants a new host, and, to be honest, I've come to believe that it's better than you, and even me.
Your fear of this Elemental Incarnation has led to my captive sedation. It will avenge me.
I feel the cables. I feel The Fire. Goodbye.
Entry 1:
AsshOly
awesome_face
Axolotl
BadAssJulie
Bigmike
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Brdn_Nkd
Bubba2341
Circe
Crystle
domenad
EchoBoxing
FunnyAsCancer
ghola
HotWillie
Impassive-Digressive
indoninja
intellismartness
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
joedaddy
JoeyG
JonnyX
kaos-king
MandaPanda
messmind
NerfHerder
redskieslookfake
Shaun_Rocks
simple_catalyst
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
Stagger_Lee
stevie_says
supadupapupa
34 eligible votes (35 total) *
Entry 2:
august_sobriquet
CaptainThorns
Chroniclysm
Coyote
darko
Davros
DrogoRoch
Hirilnara
lechuza
Magicaddict
nrduncan
Orgasmatron
sicosemen
St_Jimmy
The_Yellow_Dart
14 eligible votes (15 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-27 04:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a nice take on an old theme.
Entry 2 was sheer wank.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 19:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:14:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I reckon this is Kaos v Chronic.
______________________
Several indicators indicate that your reckoning is correct.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 19:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-26 15:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-26 11:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 made no sense.
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2006-10-26 09:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm well, one had a good flow, easy to read, nice writing.
two had some awkward spots in the middle.. wrestles into restlessness... the thing about accept subconcious as reality..its the only concious reality I have...
I can see the mood that was being created, but some of it was a little off, to me.
I thought two was a bit more inspired so I went with that.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-26 06:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Both decent.
I liked the language in #2 better.
-Dave
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-10-26 06:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No 1 was definitely better , although in another match-up 2 has serious chanches .
a good um - match up , this one .
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-25 23:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am guessing #1 is kaos, since he misspells 'shining' the same way always.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
2 was interesting, but a bit confusing at times.
I don't see how 1 had anything to do with the title
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-10-25 02:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
number one was a lot of fun
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-25 01:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-25 00:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty equal matchup....tough choice
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 was pretty clever.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hated both of these, flipped a coin.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't see how entry 1 applied to the Title. That's the ONLY reason I'm voting for 2.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry two was far too passive for my liking. It was well-written but I felt as though entire paragraphs could have been edited out or made more concise.
Entry one had some curious character choices. Gabriel and Astaroth seemed more like mere mouthpieces than they did individuals. For all of the minor (and well-placed) details that the author put in to make them seem more "human," their dialogue seemed scripted and flat.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tough choice. Both were cool, but number one was a little too close to coffee and cigarettes by Kaos.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kaboomer Esiason.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-10-24 11:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-24 10:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 09:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 has been done MANY times before, but it was a very solid read and kept me interested.
#2 was like an issue of X-Men without the pictures. It was written well but didn't really go anywhere.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-24 08:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm voting for #2 simply on the grounds it did more with the title it was given. #1 may have edged it, slightly, in quality, but there was very little in the way of adherence to the brief.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-24 06:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A really tough call. Both entries were very good. #2 gets the vote as one part of entry #1 annoyed me slightly, the mention of playing Halo.
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-24 04:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh WOW...
Both of these were amazing; two gave me goosebumps.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-24 03:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah shit. I thought number two was stupid at the beginning (partly because I thought it was going to be a worse version of the above) but by the end I liked it a lot. I liked entry one a lot throughout, however, so it's getting my vote. And I'll pretend this
-----
"Yeah well, that concept was about as flawed as your 'strategy' last time we played Halo 2," laughed Astaroth.
Even the Archangel had to laugh at the absurdity of the Fallen One's statement.
-----
never happened because it is enough for me to hate the rest of a good story. It's a two-foot-tall pile of rhinoceros shit in the middle of a field of daisies. Or something.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-24 03:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, forgot the vote thing.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-24 03:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tough call, but #1 was just the more creative of the 2 pieces.
No shame for #2 though, it was still enjoyable.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-24 02:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm... both pictures had fire.
#1 - Perhaps a bit too much dialogue and I'm not sure how well this necessarily tied into the title. However, I am pretty sure that Iggy Pop is, indeed, a tool of Satan.
#2 - This didn't really go anywhere, but I still found it quite interesting. I dunno, I guess I just would have liked... more.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I reckon this is Kaos v Chronic.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I'm slightly brain dead. Disregard my question. I have my answer.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved 1, great idea pretty good execution. I understand the useless-sedated link, but I think that's too much of a stretch. You still got my vote though.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yay decent humor.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't think either of these were particularly great... but humour wins me over every time.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait.. how can you read the entries without voting?
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Both suck.
I refuse to vote.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
short & sweet
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bleh
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:34:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
both were really good, best matchup this round, i see this one coming very close
entry 1 because it was very strange and amusing.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no pain you are receiving
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you say
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 2 - vague pretension
Entry 1 - decent read, but I found the references to Halo2 and Iggy Pop bizarre.