I am a Blowgun Assassin. Fear my Ninja Skills. (571 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -1 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <BlueEagle> (View user info) at 2006-10-23 22:37:59 EDT
There I was, sitting in my living room, minding my own business, watching the greatest show of all time, (the Simpsons,) when the door opens and a feathered golf ball explodes into the room, flying immediately up into the skylight, where it fluttered in a confused sort of way. I was given the job of removing the flying menace, with the restrictions of A) Don't get blood on the furniture, and B) Don't break the window. So what do I do? I turn to my trusty blowgun.
I had bought it months ago, but hadn't ever really used it. I have a cardboard map in my room that I like to practice on, (Iraq is completely illegible,) but I was never very good, so I was quite shocked when my first dart struck the bird right behind the eye, from a distance of about 15 feet. It fluttered to the ground, and I was congratulated, for there was not a drop of blood on the furniture, nor a single crack in the window.
User Reviews
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2006-10-30 02:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There I was, sitting in my office, minding my own business, reading the greatest website of all time, (the Ubersite,) when I clicked on this promising looking post that had "Ninja" in the title. This nOOb turd then explodes into the room, flying immediately up into the skylight, where it fluttered in a confused sort of way. I was given the job of removing the flying, stinking nOOb turd, with the restrictions of A) Don't get shitty nOOb post on the furniture, and B) Don't break the window. So what do I do? I turn to my trusty -2.
I had bought my -2 months ago, but hadn't ever really used it. I have some nOObs at home that I like to practice on, (BlueEagle is completely illegible,) but I was never very good, so I was quite shocked when my first -2 struck the nOOb right behind the eye, from a distance of about 15 feet. It fluttered to the ground, and I was congratulated, for there was not a drop of shitty nOOb post on the furniture, nor a single crack in the window.
I then posted a bitmap of a dead bird, to confirm my mental retardation to all.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think you just blow.
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2006-10-24 07:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you are a cretin
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-10-24 06:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:09:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh and a -2 for murdering an animal you worthles hunk of dog shit. I'd love the chance to take that dart gun and cram it into you sideways, up fucking left.
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See, now THIS guy's got morals.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-24 02:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
3 kinds of shit
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-24 02:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, correct rating.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Pretty much what Maltese said.
FUCKING CHRIST, DID I JUST REALLY TYPE THAT?!?!?
*dies*
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You conservative Christian right-wing Republican, gay-bashing, black-fearing, war-fighting, tree-killing, frat-housing, keg-tapping, shirt-tucking, back-slapping straight white American male.
I hate you so MUCH.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh and a -2 for murdering an animal you worthles hunk of dog shit. I'd love the chance to take that dart gun and cram it into you sideways, up fucking left.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:08:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:44:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:41:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Never kill something without a reason for doing so.
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is that why you killed brown people for a living without any reason except being told to?
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I had a reason! I can't STAND hip hop.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Welcome.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:57:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cool... ish.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:55:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait, Caul +2's this?
Yep, it's fact now, he's fucking dumb.
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stfu mister five diseases. it was a nice shot.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wait wait wait....
the rules...
bmp = -2
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait nO!!!!!!!
Blowguns are great! Whatever you do do not go to that link!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait, Caul +2's this?
Yep, it's fact now, he's fucking dumb.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
nsfw below.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:54:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN45cn6TRtc&mode=related&search=
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i am flattered
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I once tagged a squirrel in the nuts with a BB gun.
Heh.
I was pwnzors then and am pwnzors now. Don't fuck around.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Caul is god. He is the manliest of all men. I wish I was him and I spend every day trying to more and more like him with his small weenar and ghey hair. He is my idol.
I must say that I think I love him and have fallen to his gheyness.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:41:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Never kill something without a reason for doing so.
===
is that why you killed brown people for a living without any reason except being told to?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought that was cool
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Never kill something without a reason for doing so.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 bmp, -2 boring ass post.
Try again. Bird is the werd.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck man i wanna +2 this but you made the classic rookie mistakes so here's your classic rookie -2.