Trenchcoat (101 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (View user info) at 2006-10-24 11:57:01 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
The door swung open with a jingle at Bob's Corner Deli. Since Bob didn't see the person coming in over the level of the countertop from his sitting position, it meant one of two things. Either it was one of the neighborhood kids, or Silvio LaRossa was coming to collect the monthly "community protection" fee. Taking a cue from modern politics, even the mafia was putting a spin on its operations.
"Hello Roberto."
Bob stood up and looked down into the face of a grown man. Uncommon in many ways amongst little people, Silvio had endured most of the same disadvantages, but he also enjoyed the advantages of growing up in a connected family. At 4'1", plus 3/4 of an inch if you ask him, he stood at a height slightly taller than the average little person. He also had a deeper tone to his voice. Predisposed to a higher pitch, he had unintentionally conditioned his vocal chords from youth to sound more like a grown man with authority, not unlike some modern day businesswomen. Being the son of the Don, Silvio had perhaps the most severe case of Napoleon complex in the history of mankind. He even wore a regular sized trenchcoat that dragged behind him when he walked like a wedding gown. It was truly the symbol of how he saw himself.
"Only my ma calls me by my Italian name. I tell you that every month," Bob said as he reached into his cash register, handing Silvio a bulky envelope.
But Silvio was never one to skip formalities, "And I still call you Roberto every month. It's like I have to remind you that you're Italian for fuck's sake. I do this also, 'BOB', to remind you that we don't charge you as much because of the fact. You should see what we charge those towelheads up the block."
"Hey let me ask you something," Bob decided to get bold with Silvio for the first time ever, "is it true that your family hired a PR firm to help with your neighborhood image?"
Silvio was busy flipping through the envelope, "What? What the fuck do you mean by that? And what the fuck is this?" Silvio quickly switched the subject to the insufficient funds in the envelope.
"It's been a slow month," Bob almost whined.
"It's been a slow-," Silvio started to yell but then stopped, muttering to himself, "this fucking guy," in the direction of the candy bar rack. "Get over here! Come around that fucking counter and stand right here," Silvio regained focus.
Bob slowly obeyed.
"Now kneel down," Silvio demanded.
Again, Bob acquiesced. As soon as Bob's knee touched the ground, Silvio slapped him with a hard right hand and followed it with a backhand, reddening both sides of Bob's face. "You think we don't know about your gambling habits? You owe double next month, or I'll cut your fucking Achilles' tendon. Tell me you understand!"
"I understand."
Silvio built his reputation on cutting Achilles' tendons. "And as for this shit about a PR firm, I'm not saying we did or didn't, but what the fuck business is that of yours," Silvio didn't deny the fact.
"I understand."
With that Silvio opened the door to leave. In the rush of adrenaline, he forgot to pull his trenchcoat away, and it jerked him backward when it caught in the closing door.
Silvio got up in a huff and looked furiously at Bob, who was still kneeling in that position. Bob let out the slightest snicker before he put his head down, so Silvio couldn't see his smile through the glass door. Bob thought of all the money he had had to pay the LaRossa family. All the red cheeks, all the threats and disrespect, and weighed it against seeing bits of entertainment like that every month.
It was almost worth it.
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Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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