The Frost Line (646 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.06 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-10-24 12:00:27 EDT
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Entry 1
"When I was a little girl, we lived kind of out in the country," She said. "There were three streets. . . We lived on the middle one. . .and one street joining them at the top of the hill. We lived off of a highway, off of another highway, a few miles down the road from the ranch with the horses - the horses that my mom promised me she'd take me to ride and never did, and then those people moved away, taking the horses with them.""One thing I remember about living out in the country is how the sky was so CLOSE. It's like there is nothing between you, an insignificant little speck on the earth's surface, and IT - big and blue in the daytime; dark and filled with glistening stars in the nighttime.
"I remember how I used to ride my bicycle - my yellow, banana-seated Schwinn - down to the bottom of the hill with no hands. I remember how I always hated reaching the bottom; after that I knew it was work work work to pedal back up to the top.
"When there were clouds, a few fluffy clouds, they would move across the sky, momentarily blocking the sun. You could track their movement on the asphalt . . . You could see the shadow grow - darkness overtaking light, spreading, like night smothering day, coldness conquering warmth. I used to race that line up the hill - to see if I could stay just ahead of it, in the warmth. I was afraid of what would happen if it overtook me.
"It never overtook me, that line. I thought if it did, I would freeze. That I'd be cold and stopped in my tracks. Frozen solid. But the line never overtook me. I always stayed a few steps ahead of it.
"I didn't realize until many years later that there was more than one shadow to run from; more than one line I had to stay ahead of.
"We met when I was young. Well, when WE were young. I as a senior in high school, and he would have graduated the year before. Except he didn't. He had dropped out his junior year, awhile before I met him. It's kind of strange, really. I grew up thinking that college wasn't even questionable as an option; and here I was, with this guy who didn't even finish high school.
"I didn't really look that far ahead. I never did. I guess I just sort of figured I didn't have to if I didn't want to. It's like I was crossing my fingers that it would all, somehow, just take care of itself.
"Time flew by, we moved in together, he and I. Yeah, I moved in with him straight out of my mom's house. I never lived alone. I think I should have. I figured it wasn't a big deal - things would work out. We moved a few times, and I started school. I didn't even know what I was going to school FOR. After that first year of generic prerequisites and skipping class in favor of going to the park with friends, I took a year off.
"One year turned into five years, punctuated by fourteen roommates, three new addresses, two new pets and a marriage proposal. And there I was.
"It's a scary realization when you really come to figure out that things DON'T just 'take care of themselves'. It's even scarier when you realize that the way things have worked out, where your life has taken you, is NOT where you want to be. I felt like I was frozen in time and all of a sudden I was thawing out. I don't feel that warmth like I used to. He tried, he really does. I knew he adored me. He told me, one day, 'I'd do anything for you'."
"Anything."
"How do you respond to that? When do you stop everything and say HEY wait a minute this isn't right? Or do you stop at all? Maybe you're just supposed to keep busy and stay distracted while the warmth that was once in your heart leaves, millimeter by millimeter . . . While your heartbeat slows and your skin turns blue and the frost line creeps its way upwards; choking out any sign of a chance of the life you thought you would have."
"Or maybe you're supposed to pedal harder and faster and head up that hill, leaving that life behind - pedal until your legs are on fire, until your heart feels like it's going to burst. Pedal hard because there's only one bike and you'll be damned if you're going to let the shadow overtake you and make you cold. Pedal hard because you'd rather make it to the sunshine than settle in the shadows."
She lit a cigarette, taking a deep, heavy drag; leaning back in her chair.
"Shoulda tried harder to make it to the sunshine."
She closed here eyes, exhaling a curling, thick, gray ribbon of smoke.
- VS -
Entry 2
"Red!"Uh oh though Dale, an audible. Listen closely. Got to get it right.
"Red!"
Alright, what's the number?
"45!"
Fullback run. Five hole, I'll have to cross block here now to open for the running back. Got it.
"Red 45!"
Got it. Got it, I hear you, I'm ready. Running back, then fullback through the five hole.
"Hike!"
____________________
Newton Falls was a small town by almost anyone's standards. With a total population of only 16,437; the local high school has just over a thousand kids. There are two markets at opposite ends of the town, both owned by the Martellini family. The movie house has only one screen, but the theater is beautiful inside with it's painted murals and rich comfortable chairs. Tiller park, next to city hall, was named for the city's oldest known resident, as was the tire shop two blocks down. Main street is lined with poplars and maples, whose leaves change color every football season. Ah yes, football season.
For three months every year, the town would transform. Not that it was a boring place the other nine months, but the passion that existed for high school football could be felt in the air. Almost like a static that crackled right before a rainstorm. Parents and neighbors helped out with bake sales for team uniforms, recent graduates volunteered as little league coaches, and the fire department donated drivers to get the team to away games in Akron, Canton, and Youngstown. The field was maintained to immaculate precision by the freshman players, proudly and without complaint. Yes, everyone would pull together in anticipation of those Friday nights in the fall--because of one man: Byron Frost.
Coach Frost had played two years of professional football before he went into the SEAL program. Gritty and strong willed, he received commendation for his bravery and 7 years of service. A well-placed sniper shot pushed him into honorable discharge, where he had settled in Newton Falls 23 years ago. He took a job as the history teacher for the local school, and to make a little extra money agreed to coach the football program. For every one of those 23 years, he came back, coaching the young minds of the small town and molding them into strong, proud, professional men both on and off the field.
Frost's accomplishments could be viewed between the hours of 9:00 and 3:00 in the main display case at the community center, but his impact went far deeper than basic trophies. When he arrived 23 years ago, there was no real team to speak of. The 17 guys who showed up at try-outs had to play both ways for most of that first season, going 1-8 in the league. The only team they beat that year was from independence High because of a forfeit, the flu had knocked out half the team. 5 years later, the Newton Falls Tigers were league champions for the first of 14 times. The first year was the hardest, but Frost systematically rebuilt the program from the ground up with military-like efficiency and attention to detail.
It wasn't hard, really, in retrospect. He simply instilled a sense of pride and commitment in the players. It was the small things: curfews were imposed to ensure well-rested athletes, volunteer hours within the community were mandatory for playing time, and suits and ties were required when traveling to any away game. The kids became passionate about being a part of something bigger than themselves, something successful and worthy of their time and pain. Oh yes, there was pain. Frost's workouts were on par with some of the best collegiate level programs, a notorious fact up and down the fields of Ohio. They were long, hard and never over before sunset. Guys would come back from hell-week as men--battle tested, blood and sweat stained men. The flaky coal attitudes and bodies were crushed into the diamonds that made the Tigers so successful. This year, "the twins" were amongst the most brilliant of them.
____________________
Dale Frost was what every Ohio high school football player wanted to be. Well, for the most part. With his father the coach, it was inevitable that he would play the game. No one would have guessed, however, how good he would have been at it. All-state for the last two years, his Sophomore and Junior, he was a shoe-in for his last. His shaggy blond hair and toothy grin made him stand out in a crowd. It also didn't hurt that he was 6'6" and 245 lbs.
Devin Frost was his brother, his twin, and shared the physical stature. Together, they composed the right side of the offensive line for the Tigers as the right tackle and right guard. They played both interchangeably, but no one every could really tell the difference anyway. Two hulking football jerseys with "Frost" sewn onto the back were enough to intimidate and anchor what affectionately became known as "The Frost Line."
Growing up in the household of the famed coach, one might think that the Frost twins would have a warped sense of the importance of football, and of their place within its framework, but Byron was always careful to leave the coaching on the field and teach his boys the importance of their academics and civic duty. Straight A's were expected, not a surprise, and the two were frequently the face(s) of the local branch of the SPCA for stray animals. People loved the boys, and they loved the only town they had ever known. Don't misunderstand, the two got into plenty of mischief and were well known pranksters, but always in good fun. Dale was once caught with his hands up Anita Morgan's sweater behind the gym and claimed to be conducting a breast exam for the school's awareness week. The teacher who caught them laughed so hard he felt he couldn't write them up, but he did require Dale to distribute pink ribbons that weekend in front of city hall. Anita just giggled and made sure to be more discrete the next time. Yes, the boys were standouts, and their dad a local hero.
And then, time was up.
Halfway through Dale and Devin's senior year, coach Frost announced his departure from football at the end of the season. He had given 23 years to the program, raised his two boys to be stars on the team and after their senior season he would hand over the program to the assistant coach. The town was saddened, but understood. Every legacy must end, including Byron Frost's, but they cringed at the thought of losing the man who had transformed their small town from a pit-stop on the way to Cleveland to the powerhouse that it was. He had literally put the town on the map with his football program. So, with every game that season, the entire town came to show their support, and will the team's season one game longer so they could keep their coach for a little more time. After each win, cheerleaders would hang out of honking cars, the local radio station would play the Tiger fight song, and Jimmy's Burger Shack served cheeseburgers to anyone wearing the school colors.
____________________
So, on a chilly October evening, right before Halloween, Dale, Devin, and the rest of the Tigers were tied in the state championship game. It was cliché, yes, but they were down by 5 with less than two minutes remaining on the clock. They needed a touchdown. So when the defending defense from Fallbroke High showed a weak side blitz, bringing both a safety and a back over to the left side, Josh Marcooley yelled the audible:
"Red!"
Uh oh though Dale, an audible. Listen closely. Got to get it right.
"Red!"
Alright, what's the number?
"45!"
Fullback run. Five hole, I'll have to cross block here now to open for the running back. Got it.
"Red 45!"
Got it. Got it, I hear you, I'm ready. Running back, then fullback through the five hole.
"Hike!"
A 19 yard run and 1:32 later, the Tigers were the Ohio State Champions. Byron went on to be the organizer for the Pop-Warner league, quietly remaining in football. Devin went to Ohio State, and because an all-pro guard with the Miami Dolphins. Dale, well, he ended up getting his hands under Anita's sweater a few more times, and they both live in a nice house were he can walk to his games with the Seahawks.
Entry 1:
Amontillado
AsshOly
august_sobriquet
BadAssJulie
Bigmike
BlueEagle
Bubba2341
CaptainThorns
Davros
Dirtbird
DrogoRoch
EchoBoxing
ghola
gravitas
Hirilnara
HotWillie
iddqd
Impassive-Digressive
Jack_McCallum
JoeyG
JonnyX
MandaPanda
Pentameter
Shaun_Rocks
sicosemen
SPECIALk
Stagger_Lee
supadupapupa
26 eligible votes (28 total) *
Entry 2:
BLITZKREIG_BOB
calbearspolo
coley
Coyote
Crystle
hour_man
indoninja
JMG114
MadameDestrukt
Magicaddict
NerfHerder
nrduncan
nyxmar
Orgasmatron
rad1101
redskieslookfake
sparkle_pink
stevie_says
The_Yellow_Dart
18 eligible votes (19 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-27 10:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was pretty tough.
I liked the simplicity and flow of Entry 1 a lot. Not the greatest piece of writing, but a very nice read.
Entry 2 kept me interested, but I really disliked the end. It cost you my vote.(although I suspect you are winning.)
-Dave
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-10-27 06:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 just didn't do it for me
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-27 05:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-27 05:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ok then
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-27 04:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-26 23:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-10-26 22:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't like either of these.
But I didn't like #2 less.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-10-26 22:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-10-26 20:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really liked entry 2. It's a very nice, heartwarming story.
Submitted by MadameDestrukt (user info) at 2006-10-26 14:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really liked both of these. #1 was very close to home, which is actually why I didn't pick it, I needed some cheering up this morning. #2 made me all "aww" and it kept my interest even though it was centered around football, which I didn't know could be done.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-10-26 12:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-26 12:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-10-25 21:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Neither particularly blew the skirt up, but #2 was the work of someone at least fairly enthusiastic about something. Being a fan is infectious.
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2006-10-25 20:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"It never overtook me, that line. I thought if it did, I would freeze. That I'd be cold and stopped in my tracks. Frozen solid. But the line never overtook me. I always stayed a few steps ahead of it.
"I didn't realize until many years later that there was more than one shadow to run from; more than one line I had to stay ahead of.
_________________________
thought that was great.
melancholy much?
i liked two too, but went for one. It did have an abstract, disjointed sort of vibe, which I'm not usually into, but I liked it.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-25 17:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tough vote. Both entries were passively told and didn't really hold my interest, although the second one had just the right amount of detail to nab my vote. Entry two author, if you KNOW that something is cliche, don't write, "It was cliché, yes." That makes it even worse.
Submitted by Dirtbird (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Terrible title. Entry one was quite possibly the least grammatical bit of writing I've ever happened across. Entry two was pretty damn boring too.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 was just original and wonderful. So creative.
Entry 2 was way too cliche for me.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-10-25 07:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mmm Neither really leapt out at me. #2 never really got anywhere I could be bothered to follow. so the vote goes with #1.
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-25 07:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry - sports never grab my attention
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-25 04:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-24 23:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I WANTED THIS TITLE. WHY COULDN'T I GET THIS??????
HUh? huH?HUH?
RAPE
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-24 23:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1 there were some weird tense issues, but it wasn't bad
2 i didn't get past the second line
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-24 22:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-24 22:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry 2 was too much like an outline. Tried to encompass too much in a short space of time.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-24 22:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must admit, I didn't really like either of these...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like clouds. I do not like football
Submitted by BlueEagle (user info) at 2006-10-24 17:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good morals about life in general
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
GO GO NUMBER ONE
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coming from a small high school that once won a state championship and then tried to live off past glory for the next two decades, I have to say... there's something desperate and pathetic about high school football.
Still, except for the repeat typo (though for thought), #2 was the better tale.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think #2 could have done without the beginning or end. The conclusion just seemed cliche(admittedly, I'll give you that), and very quickly thrown together. Readers may not care because there's no reason to care - the particular game in question hasn't been built up at all.
The middle's where the meat is.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-24 15:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm, neither that were great, and it's pretty obvious which author has a penis, and which one has a vagina...I'll go with vagina.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both make reference to High School, funny.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-24 14:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Entry 2 - First of all it would be 35 for a fullback blast. Second, the quarterback does not specifically call out the hole to the defense when he's calling an audible. That defeats the purpose of checking off the play in the first place.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you both should have forfeited.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was very rough, but there is a great little tale there awaiting polish.
I'm sure #2 will win and it looks like the writer worked his ass off on it, but I honestly can't get into anything sports related, and I tried reading to the end three times. Sorry #2, not your fault I have a retarded bias.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish the first one had been structured differently. I'm not sure why the dialogue was seperated, other than to seperate ideas. Some physical markers would have been nice.
I voted for it anyway, because the second one was poorly written. Plus I just don't get football. Sorry.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh it was better than the other story....but there's a book called 10,000 lights...or something similar anyway. Very VERY reminiscent. Nice read though.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-24 12:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment