I watched Friends With Elvis While Fucked on LSD. (492 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Story
Rating: -0.3 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Beano (View user info) at 2006-10-25 07:47:16 EDT
I walked into the disco and stared up to the ceiling and all I saw was 55 cowboys screaming. Elvis was jamming the place and people were getting funky, hanging from the curtains was a green chested monkey.
"Man I'm fucked"... I looked around myself to see just who the fuck it was I was talking to. Elvis cued up the next record on his SL1200's. Man he is cool.
John Lennon was standing behind the bar; made of glass and filled with goldfish, under lit to make them all shiver, John Lennon, not the bar, that was made of air. He served me a double JD with a splash of coke over ice. "Thanks John" I said. He smiled and wandered off.
There were twitching curtains on the left and social lepers on the right, a couple of zebras in the corner having a fight. You don't know me because I know you, you don't know me because I know you, you don't know me because I know you.
What the hell had I taken I wondered to myself, I was feeling kind of 'third party', like I was looking at myself having a good time, I just KNEW I was having a good time and I knew I was fucked up, but still it felt OK, acceptable and not at all scary.
Different in every way to how you feel when you are too drunk, then you want to get off, you want the ride to stop, and you want it to end. Not this, I NEVER wanted this to end.
Job satisfaction is a fatal attraction, return from collecting your scenes, no match to heat up your beans, no match to heat up your beans. There isn't much in my life that I haven't tried, in my defence. Now these were the times when everything made sense.
What the fuck? I had words going round and round in my head, Roy and Siegfried had just wandered past hand in hand and one of them didn't even look half dead or dead, whatever.
I had one step up the rude ladder by the time I realised I was heading for the VIP lounge... now this was likely to get lively. I fancied I would meet all sorts. Elvis had finished his set by this stage and I hadn't even noticed. He was sat in the VIP lounge watching telly.
"TV is life Elvis" I said to him.
He looked up at me and replied "I shay... shit yourself down little fella"
We watched Friends, the one where Chandler anally hurts Monica with his huge penos, he didn't shoot the telly. Not once. Though he did promise to call me in the morning. I had my suspicions.
User Reviews
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-11-29 15:43:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Congratulations.
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2008-11-22 16:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-26 12:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2008-05-14 05:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just to counter what that idiot Director did to you.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-13 17:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-10-29 07:26:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-10-27 17:24:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
don't swoon you faggot. ur such a corny faggot.
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I think we have a minor
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-29 06:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-10-28 14:36:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-10-28 11:34:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
ur so dumb i'm surprised you even have a heart beat.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
That has to be the worst put down I have ever read on this website.
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HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!
See what a retard you are?
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-10-27 17:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
don't swoon you faggot. ur such a corny faggot.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-26 14:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-10-26 11:33:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
all your posts here are shit. maybe you will stop posting fuck face.
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*swoon*
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-10-26 11:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
all your posts here are shit. maybe you will stop posting fuck face.
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2006-10-26 05:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was ok.
LOVED your review though
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94948#2199658
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-26 04:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PMN (user info) at 2006-10-26 00:49:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
you suck worse than Tiger and ETS combined -does it get any worse than that????
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Wow...an insult from a n00b.
Submitted by PMN (user info) at 2006-10-26 00:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you suck worse than Tiger and ETS combined -does it get any worse than that????
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This post was shit.
Was?
Is shit.
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"There isn't much in my life that I haven't tried, in my defence. Now these were the times when everything made sense."
ahmen
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:07:19 (#)
Ranking: 1
Have you ever done 2CB?
Its a chemical with the same effects of LSD and MDMA
basically like candyflipping, with less of the hardcore roll feel
Pretty fuckin' cool
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Never done it, never heard of it.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Have you ever done 2CB?
Its a chemical with the same effects of LSD and MDMA
basically like candyflipping, with less of the hardcore roll feel
Pretty fuckin' cool
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-25 08:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. Worth reading. LSD makes me not want to move and just eat sound while stroking words.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-10-25 08:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-25 08:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not especially but sort of.
Dos that make any sense?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 08:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Elvis was jamming the place and people were getting funky,
hanging from the curtains was a green chested monkey.
"Man I'm fucked"... I looked around myself to see just who the fuck it was I was talking to.
Elvis cued up the next record on his SL1200's. Man he is cool.
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Did you mean for these lines to rhyme?
Made me smile (+1).