A quick trip through OathMeal's glove box (1351 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.46 on 98 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by OathMeal (View user info) at 2006-10-25 09:39:46 EDT
Last night after fucking my 6th woman of the evening I hopped in my car and threw up.
Heh.
I meant to say that I threw in my favorite death metal compilation CD (brought to you by Nuclear Blast records) but my fingers just type what they want to. Don't blame me.
Anyway, after wiping the extraneous vaginal secretions from my fingers and mouthparts I dove into my glove box in search of something to eliminate the certainly feminine taste in my mouth. I found no breathmints.
However, I did come upon a collection of amalgamated things that I thought you all here on Ubersite might find interesting, considering their disparity:
1. Harmonica. I play this sometimes while stuck in traffic. I can't explain with the right words the kind of looks I get from passers by, but all in all it makes for a more eventful commute.
2. 3rd generation iPod. I simply must have this with me AT ALL TIMES lest I wilt and die due to lack of musical freebasing.
3. Can of Skoal (cherry flavored). Sue me. I dig that shit, and the taste of chewing tobacco is preferable to the taste of post-coital vagina.
4. Weight lifting straps. Because I'm such a fucking massive bastard who could probably bench press your SUV, I need these in close proximity at all times, especially if I ever decided to up and go curl an interstate overpass. Vince Taylor ain't got shit on me.
5. Spare sunglasses. Cheap ones. Self-explanatory.
6. FM transmitter for iPod. See #2.
7. Spare driver's license. This is for when The Man tries to hassle me when I got too stoned to remember my original one, yo.
8. About $5 in spare change. I keep this in the glove box if I ever decide to pay for Shlongy's mother's oral services again.
Now all I need is an electroplated PVC 'U' with umlauts that I can dangle from my rear view.
Then and only then will I consider myself *truly* cool.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95020#2202073
banning attempt
Submitted by Faith (user info) at 2006-10-26 13:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:47:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Point Break is the greatest movie ever made.
Time has been tragically unkind to Keanu Reeves though. Quel dommage.
-----
Matter of opinion, I think Keanu Reeves still looks veeerrrry good!
The +1 is for the harmonica. Classic.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Point Break is the greatest movie ever made.
Time has been tragically unkind to Keanu Reeves though. Quel dommage.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bonus points for the harmanica. my motto is "My day is not complete until I've terrified a complete stranger". You should consider the drinking-from-a-Windex-bottle-filled-with-Poweraid trick in traffic too--- that produces wonderus results.
the ipod gear however, would cost normal mortals a point.
the saving grace is that you travel with money earmarked for the sole purpose of oral sex- which is entirely cool. (Even if it is from Shlongy's mom)
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nah, not really, cuntsmack. I've got a couple of wins and a couple of 2nds.
Oh, wait, that was an insult.
Or an attempt.
My bad.
I was too busy pitying your existance to realize that.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:53:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm getting killed by everyone, Sico.
----
Story of your life, huh fat shit?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm easy in the middle at 5 out of 10 in the league. J, I believe you are close to, if not last place. Chances are, I'm going to beat you.
-----
I'm getting killed by everyone, Sico.
God damned Shaun Alexander over Tiki Barber...
And God Damned Chris Chambers playing in Miami...
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to drop a +2 for causing this comment to come out
"I'm pretty fucking low on the totem pole of life"
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:54:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
No, Bret, I signed YOU up.
I'd only sign up Sico if he kicked my ass in the ESPN football league, and that's in 2 weeks.
Try again, cocksmoke.
------
I'm easy in the middle at 5 out of 10 in the league. J, I believe you are close to, if not last place. Chances are, I'm going to beat you.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait, I'm immature for spending 35-40 seconds signing you up for that?
Then how bad are you, making god knows how many posts and accounts, "trying to show us how easy it is to rile people up" or whatever?
Since folks like IHAKF and PFF and shitfuck and blah blah blah have already done the exact same thing, WITHOUT resorting to actually having to TELL people that's what they were doing.
Think about what you say before you say it, Bret. Seriously, I'm pretty fucking low on the totem pole of life, and I still pity you.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:54:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
No, Bret, I signed YOU up.
I'd only sign up Sico if he kicked my ass in the ESPN football league, and that's in 2 weeks.
Try again, cocksmoke.
---
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94743#2194413
C'mon Greening. Only you can prevent yourself from acting like a copmlete fucking retard.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:54:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
No, Bret, I signed YOU up.
I'd only sign up Sico if he kicked my ass in the ESPN football league, and that's in 2 weeks.
Try again, cocksmoke.
===
Look dumbshit I didn't sign him up for anything. The fact that you tried to spam my e-mail just illustrates your incomparable level of immaturity.
Please grow the fuck up, JayFag. Your pathetic life is an embarassment to your entire lineage.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, Bret, I signed YOU up.
I'd only sign up Sico if he kicked my ass in the ESPN football league, and that's in 2 weeks.
Try again, cocksmoke.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:49:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:15:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
BretT, did you sign me up for some christian propoganda?
--------
Crosswalk, I'm guessing?
--------
Well Simon it looks like you've found your culprit.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:20:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
People, people, people.
Bret is like the monsters under the bed when we were just wee tykes.
And if you ignore him, as you did them, he will eventually disappear.
----
FP - you are a fucking dork but what you just typed is 100% accurate and truthful.
Eventually you all will see that what I'm doing in all this, is showing you (collectively) how easily you let your own irritation with someone else dictate your actions.
Ignore me and I swear to GOD I'll be out like a match in the rain.
It's just that simple.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:15:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
BretT, did you sign me up for some christian propoganda?
--------
Crosswalk, I'm guessing?
He's such a copycat fuck.
I signed him up for about 50 newsletters a few weeks ago.
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oath, More Free Advice If you're open to it. If you're seriously into thrash Metal as you seem to indicate that you are from what I've read. Get with a band, Roadie, or Run Sound. If you can play start up a band. It's a hell of a lot of fun and much more productive use of your time than posting some of the shit you post.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
People, people, people.
Bret is like the monsters under the bed when we were just wee tykes.
And if you ignore him, as you did them, he will eventually disappear.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:15:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
BretT, did you sign me up for some christian propoganda?
---
If I say no will you leave me the fuck alone?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BretT, did you sign me up for some christian propoganda?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rob -
You know what I like about you? Your integrity.
No, really. BS aside, I think you have more of it than anyone else here. Not only is it refreshing and quite uncommon but it separates you from the otherwise shady and disingenuous cumsmugglers.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was like eating undercooked pasta with no sauce or even herbs
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:52:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:39:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA!
Are you serious? Do you think I give even the smallest of fucks?
That was delightfully profound... so if you didn't >actually< say it then you just unwittingly gave credit to the object of your childish obsession for being as clever as I certainly think he is.
As for my retardation - that is none of your concern
=-=-=-=-=
Don't rationalize your stupidity...it makes you look as desperate as bretT.
---
um... your obsession with being an internet tough-guy makes you look as desperate as Oath. I just happen to find him more entertaining than you.
Although I DO find Method more enjoyable than both of you guys - so I'm not really picking sides here.
And Shlongy? That fucker has been hitting on me for months. I love than cranky asshole.
(Oh, and for the record, I was not rationalizing - I was baby stepping you through the details. Nerd.)
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:52:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:39:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA!
Are you serious? Do you think I give even the smallest of fucks?
That was delightfully profound... so if you didn't >actually< say it then you just unwittingly gave credit to the object of your childish obsession for being as clever as I certainly think he is.
As for my retardation - that is none of your concern
=-=-=-=-=
Don't rationalize your stupidity...it makes you look as desperate as bretT.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is probably true
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:05:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't believe you idiots don't even realise that this alter is being driven by JonnyX.
It's the same old shit under a different username over and over again.
Wake up, you fucking numbskulls.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
i don't understand your purpose/shctick/talent/niche.
you are neither funny nor original, thought provoking or a story teller, you attempt annoyance but just come off as desperate, and only the Z list fall for it or interact with you.
Odd really.
I mean if i worked for a shitty company like executrain i'd be working hard to get out of it rather than play at being a crappy little dweeb online.
But then we can't all be winners.
I couldn't have said this any better.
Well, let's face it, I COULD have but why would I want to waste THAT much time on this twenty-five cent faggot?
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:20:30 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:02:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
"I need the internet just as much as you do."
---
yup.
====
He edited it, you fuck stick retard.
---
HAHA!
Are you serious? Do you think I give even the smallest of fucks?
That was delightfully profound... so if you didn't >actually< say it then you just unwittingly gave credit to the object of your childish obsession for being as clever as I certainly think he is.
As for my retardation - that is none of your concern.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oathie - everyone else seems eager to lather you up with some advice so here's mine:
- name calling gets boring. You are much more creative than slapping out stupid nonsense like "fatass", "faggot", and "Jewnose". That shit makes me cringe and it cheapens the otherwise highly enjoyable Oathmeal experience for me.
- keep on keepin' on.
- floss.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you find one of those electroplated PVC U's with the umlaut over it for your rear-view mirror buy two. I want one.
I'll get you back. You know I'm totally good for it bro-him.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm in Atlanta next Wednesday and Thursday, tough guy. We'll have tea, fagboy.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:02:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
"I need the internet just as much as you do."
---
yup.
====
He edited it, you fuck stick retard.
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For a block of text this was remarkably readable.
Thanks for the sentiment, cockmonger. I'll take it *all* to heart, I promise.
Now the other side is it's alot of fun to break shlongy's balls. That's the reason I jumped on this site. Long story for another day.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rob, I was pretty alarmed that he said that. I guess he was trying to relate to me, someone he yearns to emulate.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't believe you idiots don't even realise that this alter is being driven by JonnyX.
It's the same old shit under a different username over and over again.
Wake up, you fucking numbskulls.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I need the internet just as much as you do."
---
yup.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fag below.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
i don't understand your purpose/shctick/talent/niche.
you are neither funny nor original, thought provoking or a story teller, you attempt annoyance but just come off as desperate, and only the Z list fall for it or interact with you.
---
I'm guessing the "Z list" part was a reference to that desperate for attention dipshit: JonnyX?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:56:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oath, I can't believe I'm wasting my time doing this because you'll never get it. I'll give you a perfect example. How much time and energy you spend fighting with Shlongy, He keeps it much more real than you. Or than you will ever know. What he talks about on his posts really took place and are real. Does he brag yeah. Does he talk shit yeah, he's probably the king of talking shit on this blog. But if you accomplished half of what he has you would too. You remind me of two mofos in two different movies. The first is one of those Nazi guys in the movie Point Break which if you haven't seen it is a killer movie. Beating his chest and listening to thrash metal. The second is the fat guy everyone picks on in the Movie Full Metal Jacket. And then he blows his brains out. Another cool movie. Ease up brother, it's not worth it.
dj
----
For a block of text this was remarkably readable.
Thanks for the sentiment, cockmonger. I'll take it *all* to heart, I promise.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:58:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I still have my number sheet...#2501, Bret Dianich, placing: DEAD LAST.
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oath, I can't believe I'm wasting my time doing this because you'll never get it. I'll give you a perfect example. How much time and energy you spend fighting with Shlongy, He keeps it much more real than you. Or than you will ever know. What he talks about on his posts really took place and are real. Does he brag yeah. Does he talk shit yeah, he's probably the king of talking shit on this blog. But if you accomplished half of what he has you would too. You remind me of two mofos in two different movies. The first is one of those Nazi guys in the movie Point Break which if you haven't seen it is a killer movie. Beating his chest and listening to thrash metal. The second is the fat guy everyone picks on in the Movie Full Metal Jacket. And then he blows his brains out. Another cool movie. Ease up brother, it's not worth it.
dj
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
i don't understand your purpose/shctick/talent/niche.
you are neither funny nor original, thought provoking or a story teller, you attempt annoyance but just come off as desperate, and only the Z list fall for it or interact with you.
Odd really.
I mean if i worked for a shitty company like executrain i'd be working hard to get out of it rather than play at being a crappy little dweeb online.
------
PWNZORED BY A GUINEA PIG - HALARIOUS
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:49:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:23:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Now kindly fuck off and die before I stuff my size 10's up your faggot ass.
============================
Size 10's? Did your mother bind your feet as a child so you could become a geisha?
====
Yes.
*cries*
=====
Have a '0' out of pity. This is the first time I've ever cracked a smile at something you've written.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:23:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Now kindly fuck off and die before I stuff my size 10's up your faggot ass.
============================
Size 10's? Did your mother bind your feet as a child so you could become a geisha?
====
Yes.
*cries*
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nope, don't take Meds, cockboy.
but I still proved you fucking wrong, glad to see you gloss over that one.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you should take this to your shrink, at least she's getting paid to give a fuck
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now kindly fuck off and die before I stuff my size 10's up your faggot ass.
============================
Size 10's? Did your mother bind your feet as a child so you could become a geisha?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 12:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
i don't understand your purpose/shctick/talent/niche.
===
I'm not surprised.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i don't understand your purpose/shctick/talent/niche.
you are neither funny nor original, thought provoking or a story teller, you attempt annoyance but just come off as desperate, and only the Z list fall for it or interact with you.
Odd really.
I mean if i worked for a shitty company like executrain i'd be working hard to get out of it rather than play at being a crappy little dweeb online.
But then we can't all be winners.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:45:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Bullshit.
You have no idea how much I make. I've never even alluded to it.
You are such an egomaniac, Jeff. You should really work on that. It makes your receding hairline and chimpish disposition all that much worse.
Now kindly fuck off and die before I stuff my size 10's up your faggot ass.
-------------
Shut the fuck up.
====
HAHAHAHHAHAHAA
Did someone skip his meds this morning? Hmm?
Go back to your bowl of chex and leave the cool kids alone, fatass.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:43:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Words fail me
---
So does your brain, assface.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bullshit.
You have no idea how much I make. I've never even alluded to it.
You are such an egomaniac, Jeff. You should really work on that. It makes your receding hairline and chimpish disposition all that much worse.
Now kindly fuck off and die before I stuff my size 10's up your faggot ass.
-------------
Shut the fuck up.
You said you made "more than twice what (I) make" when I said I make 24K a year, faggot.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
User id: 26691
Registered on or around: 2006-04-29 16:54:12
# Messages posted: 16
# Reviews written: 566
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 363
# Hits: 7666
Average rating of all messages: 0.05
===
16 posts in 6 months?
Don't fucking tell ME how to post when you can barely do it yourself.
Dipshit. You remind me of JonnyX (consider that an insult).
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:10:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Harmonica. I play this sometimes while stuck in traffic. I can't explain with the right words the kind of looks I get from passers by, but all in all it makes for a more eventful commute
---------------------
This is a good idea.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Words fail me
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:09:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Important to note:
I earn more a month in INTEREST than you bring home in your paycheck.
Make THAT your last thought before you go to sleep- alone - every night, fagboy.
Sweet dreams, cumstain.
====
Bullshit.
You have no idea how much I make. I've never even alluded to it.
You are such an egomaniac, Jeff. You should really work on that. It makes your receding hairline and chimpish disposition all that much worse.
Now kindly fuck off and die before I stuff my size 10's up your faggot ass.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and this:
TALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGATALLADEGA! TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!TALLADEGA!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Important to note:
I earn more a month in INTEREST than you bring home in your paycheck.
Make THAT your last thought before you go to sleep- alone - every night, fagboy.
Sweet dreams, cumstain.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what I really meant to say was this ---> Pretty shitty post! Why don't you get your head out of your ass and write about something other than what you did or what your doing or how your not gay in anyway at all. Then I will start giving you the reviews you deserve....(jk bout the rating part)
p.s. TALLADEGA!
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:06:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What I meant to say was: Pretty Shitty post! Why don't you talk about something other than yourself?
p.s. TALLADEGA!
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty shitty post.
p.s. TALLADEGA!
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
40-something, balding bitch of a man with a micropenis and a 3-digit bank account below.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Liar.
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
superfriend!
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
All I can hear is this sucking sound coming out of my computer
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The crack ho you picked up did you give her change?
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*sigh*
As per usual, Oath
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Harmonica. I play this sometimes while stuck in traffic. I can't explain with the right words the kind of looks I get from passers by, but all in all it makes for a more eventful commute
---------------------
This is a good idea.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ATTN GEORGE:
1. you are fat
2. you are greek
3. you are a moron
4. you are jealous of my heat
5. you want on my cock even worse than simon says does
6. your life is nothing more than a fit of lies and conflagrations made up to make you seem cool
That is all.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Simon: seriously, or do you have a copper medal of honor pinched so tightly in your clenched, puckered, asshole that you can't stop and see the humor here?
------
I see the humor in just about everything, from your tiny penis to your even tinier intellectual capacity.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Simon, this fucking friendless retard goads you on and starts fights with you so that he can get on most heated, and it works because you fall for it. Just ignore him.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Doesn't know "just the tip", takes the whole thing...
l
l
l
l
l
l
V
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Makes false accusations.
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
V
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 10:00:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Changed the content of conversation
l
l
l
l
l
l
V
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:55:05 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:44:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:42:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyway, after wiping the extraneous vaginal secretions from my fingers and mouthparts I dove into my glove box in search of something to eliminate the certainly feminine taste in my mouth. I found no breathmints.
------------
Don't you mean you dove into 'Shineboxxx'?
===
No, I meant I dove into your GIRLFRIEND'S box.
Sorry for any confusion.
====
Do you mean dived?
----
Yes. Dictionary.com says it's ok, so yes.
NATH RULES.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oathy, get them kid, get them. Between Method and I, it would take you 1000 query's to get up to speed.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:54:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
6th woman?
I call bullshit
skoal=awesome
---
FYI - CD is in the mail as of 9:30am this morning.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Boring
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
me: dude you are such a little spoogestain
Simon: hahaha
are you having fun yet, wayne bretski?
me: don't worry simon.
I'll have a fresh batch of accounts to use to rip your faggoty little posts straight from the front page
i gave you webcorona in good faith. Do you always turn on the folks who help you?
Simon: you +2 your own posts.....it's fun and games bret, if you could see the grin on my face, you'd be laughing too
instead, you take some commie, nazi outlook and get all serious and frustrated
damn dude, live life...stop being such an uptight, dick wad
me: Whatever. You shall die
Simon: hahaha
me: at the hand of my new half-dozen cew
fuckin poofter.
you and method both. I take this shit seriously
I am dead fucking serious
I am goddamned HEART ATTACK serious
if you could see the anger in my face you'd be laughing too
simon you fucking wimp
Simon: i'm no wimp, i need the internet just as much as you do
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:44:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:42:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyway, after wiping the extraneous vaginal secretions from my fingers and mouthparts I dove into my glove box in search of something to eliminate the certainly feminine taste in my mouth. I found no breathmints.
------------
Don't you mean you dove into 'Shineboxxx'?
===
No, I meant I dove into your GIRLFRIEND'S box.
Sorry for any confusion.
====
Do you mean dived?
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
6th woman?
I call bullshit
skoal=awesome
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're nothing if not consistent.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
At first glance I thought it said "LOVE box" in the title.
I'm partial to apple skoal myself.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:41:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just realized that if Shlongy's mother is even still around, she's got to be like, 70.
Ew.
__________
I'd still hit it
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well Simon, it's time to procure another alter or two.
Just know that YOU did this. YOU!!
*burp*
Submitted by exposed (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Rad.
Submitted by LovelyLady (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, this is truly a unique and paradigm-shifting post.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:44:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:42:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyway, after wiping the extraneous vaginal secretions from my fingers and mouthparts I dove into my glove box in search of something to eliminate the certainly feminine taste in my mouth. I found no breathmints.
------------
Don't you mean you dove into 'Shineboxxx'?
===
No, I meant I dove into your GIRLFRIEND'S box.
Sorry for any confusion.
-----------
Holy shit what a cum back...oh no wait that's you and shineboxx again
Submitted by webcorona (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Brilliant!
Submitted by fclo002 (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, this is truly a unique and paradigm-shifting post.
Submitted by smemma (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant!
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:44:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:42:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyway, after wiping the extraneous vaginal secretions from my fingers and mouthparts I dove into my glove box in search of something to eliminate the certainly feminine taste in my mouth. I found no breathmints.
------------
Don't you mean you dove into 'Shineboxxx'?
===
No, I meant I dove into your GIRLFRIEND'S box.
Sorry for any confusion.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You actually do get off on pissing people off, don't you?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Simon, you really can NOT get my penis out of your mouth, can you?
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyway, after wiping the extraneous vaginal secretions from my fingers and mouthparts I dove into my glove box in search of something to eliminate the certainly feminine taste in my mouth. I found no breathmints.
------------
Don't you mean you dove into 'Shineboxxx'?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just realized that if Shlongy's mother is even still around, she's got to be like, 70.
Ew.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 09:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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A quick trip through OathMeal's glove box
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Submitted by OathMeal (View user info) at 2006-10-25 09:39:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night after fucking my 6th woman of the evening I hopped in my car and threw up.
Heh.
I meant to say that I threw in my favorite death metal compilation CD (brought to you by Nuclear Blast records) but my fingers just type what they want to. Don't blame me.
Anyway, after wiping the extraneous vaginal secretions from my fingers and mouthparts I dove into my glove box in search of something to eliminate the certainly feminine taste in my mouth. I found no breathmints.
However, I did come upon a collection of amalgamated things that I thought you all here on Ubersite might find interesting, considering their disparity:
1. Harmonica. I play this sometimes while stuck in traffic. I can't explain with the right words the kind of looks I get from passers by, but all in all it makes for a more eventful commute.
2. 3rd generation iPod. I simply must have this with me AT ALL TIMES lest I wilt and die due to lack of musical freebasing.
3. Can of Skoal (cherry flavored). Sue me. I dig that shit, and the taste of chewing tobacco is preferable to the taste of post-coital vagina.
4. Weight lifting straps. Because I'm such a fucking massive bastard who could probably bench press your SUV, I need these in close proximity at all times, especially if I ever decided to up and go curl an interstate overpass. Vince Taylor ain't got shit on me.
5. Spare sunglasses. Cheap ones. Self-explanatory.
6. FM transmitter for iPod. See #2.
7. Spare driver's license. This is for when The Man tries to hassle me when I got too stoned to remember my original one, yo.
8. About $5 in spare change. I keep this in the glove box if I ever decide to pay for Shlongy's mother's oral services again.
Now all I need is an electroplated PVC 'U' with umlauts that I can dangle from my rear view.
Then and only then will I consider myself *truly* cool.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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The Twisted World of Marge Simpson
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