Rock, Paper, Scissors (746 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.35 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PokeyMen (View user info) at 2006-10-25 14:14:21 EDT
I understand that scissors can beat paper and I get how rock can beat scissors. But there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock, leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds! That's why I always choose rock when I play rock/paper/scissors. Then, when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the throat with my already clenched fist and say "Oh SHIT, I'm sorry. I thought PAPER would protect you, YOU STUPID FUCK!"
User Reviews
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-12-21 20:11:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-12-21 18:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:17:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Was a +1 until the punchline. That made me laugh out loud for a good ten seconds.
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:( Poor form.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-12-21 17:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up!
Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!
-6 train
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I appear to have invented a new word, inspored.
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-10-26 10:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My cheating boyfriend introduced dynamite into the picture on a long train journey once and it is now aparrently a valid entry into the game. Your post has inspored me to introduce the WOMD (Weapon of mass destruction) After the 1 2 3 and on the 4th beat I kick him in the nuts and slap the back of his head.
...... it will always beat that dynamite.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-10-26 06:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-10-26 00:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Slash (user info) at 2006-10-25 18:00:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:52:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/How_to_beat_anyone_at_Rock_Paper_Scissors
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Plagarizer!
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to try that on my friend. Sorry I socked you in the throat but I thought paper beat rock?
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-25 21:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember when Bars would have bands to watch. Although the funniest was a bar in Sugarbush VT that had Turtle Races. It's Fistfuck in the lead.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-10-25 21:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-25 21:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking laughed.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2006-10-25 20:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yet another shit bag who can't bare the idea that he may one day lose at something. It's a fucking game... similar to that of evens and odds. Now I know you understand that, so this post wasn't even you voicing your true opinion of it. It was you trying to make good terms with that time you cried to the teacher because some boy got to use the swing set instead of you after winning around of rock/paper/scissors.
douche
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-10-25 20:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This could have been good.
COULD have
Submitted by Slash (user info) at 2006-10-25 18:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:52:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/How_to_beat_anyone_at_Rock_Paper_Scissors
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haha someone posted this post under a comment for that site.
Submitted by Slash (user info) at 2006-10-25 17:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:00:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i've read this somewhere
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Definitely
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/How_to_beat_anyone_at_Rock_Paper_Scissors
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:00:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i've read this somewhere
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+1 anyways
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
old joke...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I smiled.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was at the Luxor when the Rock/Paper/Scissors tournament was going down.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
$1.50 for a boshweiser is a good deal though
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
*chuckle*
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-10-25 15:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i've read this somewhere
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How about Scissors, Rock, OCTOPUS! That fucking octopus would wrap up all those fucking mofo's that try to stand in its way! The scissors of course could chop off his testicles... yes, testicles.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If this post was printed on paper, you could loathe it with Shlongy.
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah but it's a great way to pass the time when you are driving with your kids. Are we there yet?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was a -2 up until the very last line.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Watses of time like Competetive Eating and RPS Tourneys are reasons I loathe humans.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Was a +1 until the punchline. That made me laugh out loud for a good ten seconds.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Oh SHIT, I'm sorry. I thought PAPER would protect you, YOU STUPID FUCK!"
+ mutha fuckin two!
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-10-25 14:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I fucking loathe paper.