An artist's response to just criticism. (1084 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.49 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Thorpe (View user info) at 2006-10-27 13:00:30 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94815
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???
I gave you gold!
GOLD!!!
AND WHAT DID YOU DO???
37 - 25!
FUCK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU
It was satire!
SATIRE FOR GOD'S SAKE!
IT HAD ALL THE SUBTLETY OF A FUCKING SLEDGEHAMMER!
"Hahahahahahaha instead of attaching a picture of a red-washed beach sunset like I was planning, I'll attach a picture of the UberMadness logo, and make the filename "Quintessential UberMadness post, yeah real subtle I know" so as to poke fun at my shameful lack of subtlety, and avoid people voting for the other entry because I was too obvious".
I even included Electro's line in the first paragraph in case any clueless invertebrate hadn't already picked up the three blatantly stupid phrases in the FIRST SENTENCE.
RETARDS!
NNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHH
Let's have a look at some of the comments, shall we???
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-24 00:18:39 (#)
Ranking: -1
How the fuck can marijuana flow in to your arms?
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Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-24 03:43:12 (#)
Ranking: -1
#1, what were you thinking? "Liquidy liquid"? All a dream? WTF?
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Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-27 04:58:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
"I said you can't break up with me! I'm pregnant with your child, and it's not yours!"
That bugged me intensely enough to vote for poetry. FOR POETRY! For shame entry 1.
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:42:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's better than "...AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM OMG BBQ."
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HOLY SWEET JEBUS
Those sentences bugged you, did they?
Those particular sentences?
NONE OF THE OTHERS???
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PERSON READS THROUGH THAT POST, HITS A LINE LIKE ONE OF THE ABOVE AND SAYS "Well, this just crosses the threshold"?!?!
The rest of them, or to give you the benefit of the doubt, the ones before those, WERE ACCEPTABLE????
ALSO:
Let's have a look at a conversation I observed on the Matchups page:
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:19:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lots of stories broken up by ~~~~s and ####s and ----s and ****s this Round.
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Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, and I'm finding it annoying.
along with the use of the names Jack and Sarah
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GOD I WISH SOMEONE WOULD MAKE A POST SATIRISING THOSE QUINTESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF AN UBERMADNESS POST! I'D VOTE FOR THAT!
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-10-24 01:00:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
We I had gave found them the blowjobs?
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YES THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S WHAT IT'S MEANT TO SAY GOOD WORK!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-24 13:45:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one: why bother even entering in the first place?
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I THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE WERE MEANT TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR!
FUCKING JEWS!
Submitted by tammy (user info) at 2006-10-25 00:27:48 (#)
Ranking: 1
The poem was pretty good.
That first thing could have been okay but it seemed kind of sloppily thrown together.
You really lost me at the end. It was not good.
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LOST YOU AT THE END DID I???
MY NARRATIVE WASN'T COHERENT ENOUGH, WAS IT????
I MEAN, UP UNTIL THE ZOMBIES INTERRUPTED THE SEX ON THE POKER TABLE, IT KEPT YOU IN SUSPENSE, DID IT???
MY GENIUS IS WASTED ON YOU TALENTLESS HACKS
I HOPE EVERYONE WHO VOTED FOR BUBBA'S POEM BURNS IN HELL
Amontillado
AsshOly
Axolotl
BadAssJulie
Bigmike
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Bubba2341
calbearspolo
CaptainThorns
Chillax
Crystle
Davros
domenad
EchoBoxing
Genko
helbling
Hirilnara
HotWillie
Impassive-Digressive
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
joedaddy
JoeyG
lechuza
loki
MadameDestrukt
Magicaddict
MandaPanda
messmind
nrduncan
Orgasmatron
peckerhead
Pentameter
rad1101
redskieslookfake
Shaun_Rocks
supadupapupa
tammy
The_taste_of_Monkeys
The_Yellow_Dart
WingedFoote
FUCK YOU ALL
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PS. I actually really liked Bubba's poem, he won fair and square, I love you all, this is a joke.
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Or is it? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS???
HOW WILL WE TELL?!?!?!
OH MY FUCKING GOD HERE COMES THE SUBTLETY MALLET!!
PPS.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-10-24 03:46:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to make out with whoever wrote Entry 1. Maybe even expose myself erotically at his face.
I reserve the right to retract those statements.
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Don't worry, it was me, there's no need. thorpe87.at.gmail.com
PPS. If anyone wants a ticket to Pearl Jam in Brisbane on Friday November 10th email me at the above address.
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-25 12:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
almost peanut butter, and Asterix rocks
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-13 07:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-13 19:27:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
cheap shandy imitation
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What the fuck?
This isn't shandythedog-style at all, nor was it meant to be.
I think this proves you haven't exactly grasped what shandy is going for.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-13 05:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cheap shandy imitation
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-13 05:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somehow, you made capslock and numerous exclamation marks endearing and amusing. Well done.
Submitted by mrnoisy (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:28:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-11-18 13:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I'm in it
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-28 23:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't get to read them all, what with my booming social life and packed calendar of commitments.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-10-28 15:55:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark has had me banned from voting, lest I say something subversive. On a different note I can't sleep. I'm all blocked up, have a headache, which I've been told is actually my sinuses, to which I responded well how come my head aches, and I can't breathe properly. To make matters worse I woke last night with a little version of me standing with it's head only inches away from mine. It scared the fuck out of me, and not because he was so goshdarn handsome. I have not slept since.
"Dad, I had a bad dream." it said.
"Oh bubby that's no good do you wanna lie with Dad for a bit?"
"No - I was just sayin'."
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-28 15:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's the love for those of us who DID vote for you?? HMMM??
MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE UNDERAPPRECIATED!
It made me laugh like an idiot, so it got my vote.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-28 14:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry...
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-10-28 11:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-28 10:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pieces that are intentionally funny always seem to do worse than the vast majority that are UNintentionally funny. This too, is quintessential.
Nice use of a title I suggested, by the way.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-10-28 05:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH!
And i just moved house, and found your book yesterday because it was packed safely away, and I shall be sending it to you this week.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-10-28 05:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I voted for you. I thought it was fucking wonderful.
Even though nobody voted for me. Even though mine was, quite simply, brilliant and subtle and complex and beautiful.
*weep*
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-28 04:54:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Suck it up, I voted for you. Doesn't that mean something?
What's that? You don't even know who I am?
Fucking ingrate.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-28 03:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love you
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-10-28 03:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shinebox (user info) at 2006-10-27 20:28:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
ur shit
_____________________________________
shine box! how can you speak to your fellow Superfriends like that?!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-28 02:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
all I have to say is
now you know how I feel
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-10-27 22:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah i didn't read it that closely during UM.
it should have won just because it was long and not poetry.
IMHO
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2006-10-27 21:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesuse dude, that was the best UM post I've seen in a long time. I wish I had seen it in time to vote.
Submitted by shinebox (user info) at 2006-10-27 20:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ur shit
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, I missed that.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also - your entry cracked me up. It just felt like a kind of forfiet
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-27 19:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe you didn't include the exchange that followed that one.
************** (I can do it too)
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Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-26 21:49:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha,
Tsk tsk tsk, Sarah - so bitter. It's because she was abused by father/mother/brother as a child, isn't it?
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Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-25 16:08:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-25 11:58:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, and I'm finding it annoying.
along with the use of the names Jack and Sarah
--
I just asked Sarah what she thought of this and she said crossed her arms and frowned and said, "That bitch Crystle isn't very fucking subtle, is she?"
Then she stabbed me with a knife and dropped dead of cancer.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-27 15:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was satire!
SATIRE FOR GOD'S SAKE!
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Bad move, Thorpy ol' bean.
Satire is tough enough to do on regular posts, but suicide on UM posts.
Here's the problem with satire posts:
1/3 WON'T GET IT AT ALL
1/3 will get it, and hate it.
1/3 will get it and like it.
I learned LONG ago, that these kinds of posts RARELY work out, no matter how clever they are.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 14:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-27 14:39:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
so this is what you were talking about the other day
by the way I dont know what quintisential (whatever) means
so fuck off cunt
PS: your anti semitism is showing
:D
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I hoped you might get the Shostakovich reference?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-27 14:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so this is what you were talking about the other day
by the way I dont know what quintisential (whatever) means
so fuck off cunt
PS: your anti semitism is showing
:D
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-10-27 14:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We do have a sense of humor. Your post just wasn't funny. Plus, I slept with your great-grandmother.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:12:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
At least, not for a long time
___
That's quite agreeable then.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would've voted for yours had I read it.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:09:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
I found it hilarious, I just liked bubba's poem more; mainly the last line of it.
After I voted I do recall a yearning to switch, though.
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Hahaha, don't worry, I would have found it hard to decide on this matchup too. I fear I may have actually been too subtle in this post. I don't wish that you burn in hell etc.
At least, not for a long time.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:12:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, aren't you clever.
My haiku went totally unappreciated, too.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
:'(
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I found it hilarious, I just liked bubba's poem more; mainly the last line of it.
After I voted I do recall a yearning to switch, though.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was Entry 1#, Wandering Star. At least JMG liked mine...
I lost something like 29-34 aroud that area.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:05:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my attempt at this in round 2 was similarly recieved.
it was a blatant piece of plagiarism. plagiarism of intentionally bad writing.
some people just aren't as fantastically great at humour as you and I.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At least one poem made it through.
And not the one that JonnyX -1d and called "marginally acceptable" either.