Too Much Crystal Meth (278 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.25 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by selfishinequities (View user info) at 2006-10-29 19:37:38 EST
Every head chef i've worked for has been seriously fucked up on drugs.
I started work at this one restaurant before it even opened, you know, the old friend of a friend arrangement. I helped set the place up was made the official dishy and helper guy. Ended up stayin for like 2 years too, and saw about 6 head chefs pass through.
Anyway, the latest head chef Danny turned up one day. An yeah, he looked like a twentysomething dodgy drugfucked loser but everyone did there (even the owner was into something),so i gave him the benefit of the doubt. For about 3 days.
I don't know if it was the weird growth on the side of his head (this thing was the size of a small apple and the doctors had no idea what it was)or his constant psycadelic speeches on higher brain functions, but effort was made to allow him his space. We had a small team, an open kitchen, a lunatic with lots of drugs and, i'm guessing a very select clientele.
One thursday was passing, as they did, with the usual banter of alien influnce on human evolution and how the name Derek tastes of earwax, but something looked different about him. I didn't let it bother me and worked through the day, somehow getting roped into after work drinks with the boys. (And when Danny says 'drinks', he means 'drinks with a hit of crystal that would kill a horse, chaser'.)
So we finished our shifts and danny went off to get happy and pick up the boys. I decided to ask Crusty (the head waiter chick(who deserves a story to herself)) what was different about Danny today? And she said to me, all casaul, like i asked the time "oh yeah, he got his teeth today"
I thought for a moment that it was a metaphor, but nothing is with Danny. For the past three months i failed to notice that he had no teeth. "What the fuck happened to his teeth?" i said.
She just tapped her nose, pointed at me, an winked.
I met up with Danny and some of his friends that night at the station on the way to the good bar, which took us through some small, questionably lit streets. On one of these streets, as we rounded the corner, was a cop car. Everyone saw it at the same time an i felt the paranoia oozing from every orifice. Nobody said anything and we continued, relieved that there were no actual cops to go with the car.
Apparently though, i misread that situation because as we passed the car, without so much as a look at each other, Danny and his mates started trashing the fuck out it. I just froze. "Holy shit guys, i didn't fuckin agree to this". 30 seconds and one fucked up car later we were running down the street and into the bar.
"Shit guys! I like a good time as much as the next bloke but trashing unoccupied cop cars kinda fucks with my plans at the moment!" i said, but all i got was insane giggles in return.
The rest of the evening passed comparitively uneventful and we had to work the next morn so i left for bed. The next morn at work (naturally, Danny didn't sleep) i was like
"dude, you are one crazy fuck"
an he said "what do you mean?"
"you know, the car!"
I explained when, where, and how for like 30 min but he couldn't and still doesn't remember.
"Memory of a goldfish!" he said
Needless to say, i didn't go out with him too often after that.
Next week: Crusty
User Reviews
Submitted by selfishinequities (user info) at 2006-10-30 10:48:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you heard me
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-29 19:49:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-29 19:47:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
What?
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-10-29 19:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
awesome dude
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-29 19:47:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What?
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-29 19:43:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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