Uberia XXVII: Contents Under Pressure (519 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.1 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Nova <lordofthepost.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-10-30 23:00:37 EST
Ed Dee had been marching for several days away from the castle of Ubersite and towards Microsof(T). Selected as the chosen one by Maddox, he was the one to save the world from post-killers, the blue sky of death, and the impending doom created by Boss Gates at Microsof(T). The thoughts of his responsibilities weighed heavy on his mind. How was he going to storm Microsof(T) and make his way past Boss Gates and his army to the mainframe? More importantly, then what? How was he going to escape? Would Razor and his men even be able to save Lord Bart and the others? What was he going to do with the new threats emerging into Uberia?
So many things, and yet it was he who had to come up with the answers. Since he had become Lord of the Post, everything has seemed to fall apart. He carefully sidestepped down a steep hill as his mind sifted through broken thoughts and frantic questions. "I had better think of something." He mumbled to himself, as he lowered himself from the slope using a branch. As he descended, he thought about his vision. The "Your not welcome here old-timer" comment made by JohnnyX in this vision seemed to ring true in this new and confusing world. Just as he began to rest his thoughts on that comment, the root he was holding onto snapped, the recoil sent his body outwards, and then down as he tumbled down the slope, taking out a few trees on his way, until he rested at the foothills below.
He rose his head to see someone standing before him, holding a pen and a leather journal. "Who....who are you?" said Lord of the Post, as he readied a post in his left hand, the ever familiar glow began to emanate from his hand. "I'm Jack McCallum, and what brings you here my friend." He slowly peered up towards the unforgiving hill that Ed just fell from and adds "besides the root." Lord of the Post smiled, still cautious but relieved he didn't fall right at the hands of a post-killer. For now, he could relax.
Razor rolled the last of his supplies into his blanket, and into his pack, as Kaos King approached. "Razor, all of our men are ready, shall we move onwards towards the castle?" Razor huffed as he pulled another pack onto his shoulders, "Yes, let's go" The men shuffled their feet as they filed in behind Razor and Kaos King, all heading towards the distant mountain range where Ubersite lay. As they began to move they could hear commotion from the back of the caravan, and soon others rushed towards the back, followed quickly by Razor and Kaos King who dropped their packs to rush in towards the back. "Attackers!" yelled one man, "They are coming in from behind."
As Razor approached, he realized that the commotion was not from outside attackers; rather a fight had broken out from within.
"Your posts are tired and weak, Electrictoothsyndrome!" yelled Axolotl as he hurled his "As I lay dying" post towards ETS. He quickly dodged the post, throwing his own "3 Political posts in one" as it screamed towards Axolotl, it broke into three separate posts, nailing Axolotl in the back as he attempted to dodge all three, sending him flying to the ground. He quickly arose, his fists glowing bright white with posts as he rushed back into the fight.
"Jaysis man, we need to stop them," Kaos King frantically said to Razor.
"No, we have all be under pressure, let them fight it out now, so this doesn't happen at the castle" He pushed the others aside to form a circle. "Let them finish this here and now."
"Dear Uber," sighed Kaos King, "How can we take on the new breed of post-killers if we cannot make peace amongst ourselves?"
Both warriors hands were glowing white hot, ETS, panting, looked at Axolotl with vengeful eyes and said "I warned you about your tone, you had this coming you fool"
To be continued...
Witness this tale from the beginning
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23306
Catch up to speed by reading the summary of the preceding chapters
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57392
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87282
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-31 18:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:38:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
this post was lacking in gravy
Submitted by rillins (user info) at 2006-10-31 13:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Please stop.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-31 10:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because 3 Political Posts In One used as a weapon made me laugh.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-31 05:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2006-10-31 00:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BigMike, you know I wouldn't let you go down like that, and keep it that way...
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:47:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Its what goes on top of mashed potatoes and what not
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:46:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just went back to the installment where I was killed. No fanfare, no struggle, just annihilation at the hands of McBain.
Fuck. I thought I was better than that. :)
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:45:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who's gravy?
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this post was lacking in gravy
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do try to incorporate "the night was moist" into one of these submissions.
I LONG FOR MORE.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lisa, if I could +2 your comment for the insta-erection I would.
*goes back to his closet to grab his ultra top secret hidden yak-porn stash.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Then Lisa arrived, and was immediately bombarded by the sexiest men on Ubers--scratch that, Lisa was immediately bombarded by Johnny Depp and that hot guy from The Office, who both happened to be sitting in the corner, watching the nerdular goings on and choking on spiteful laughter. They tore ravenously at her blouse, revealing two modest, but perfectly sculpted breasts. But little did they know, Lisa was a high-powered fembot! Massive cannons jutted forth from her erect nipples, spewing thunderous doom! Everyone in sight was mercilessly, violently obliterated. The end.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:10:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so when do I kill everyone?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-30 23:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2