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What a wospital (642 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 1.53 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Nick Sancho (View user info) at 2006-10-31 08:01:35 EST


Mid October 1994 and I was at College studying my A'Levels. I started getting headaches every morning but by mid morning they would generally vanish, so I saw no need to see a doctor or to mention it to my parents. It was a very similar feeling to a hangover, kinda muzzy and annoying more than anything. I started to have problems walking to my coach stop, I couldnt walk in a straight line and was wobbling all over the pavement, I just figured I wasn't getting enough sleep and maybe wanking was seeping my mind of any balance. Back then I was a feroucious wanker, I used to see it as a challenge, until I wanked so hard that my nail dug into my foreskin causing a bleed that soiled my erotic stories book.

I was having trouble walking and concentrating but as I said these feelings eventually went away and it wasnt that hard to put up with. Then one day I sat around with my whole family eating our evening meal when I asked my dad to pass the pepper.......

Me> Can you pass the pepper please dad?
Dad> Pardon?
Me> cannnn u pwease uh pepper lease ad?
Dad> Are you drunk?
Me> flibble wibble bobble cobble
Dad> Get upstairs, we'll deal with you later
Me> izzzz havennnt beeen dwinkings toossserz

Anyway upstairs I went where I collapsed, my eyes glazed over and the next thing I know im being taken to the doctors and then the hospital. I was in hospital for a few weeks. Turns out I had a number of blood clots on the back of my brain and had suffered a series of strokes. I was scared but not as scared as when I was sent to the hospital a few weeks later to have an MRI scan. I entered the hospital with my mother, apprensive of being insde this machine for a good 40 minutes or so.

Once I was inside the MRI machine they asked if I would like any music on whilst I was in there, I pondered for a minute and thought it may at least drown the sound of the machine out.......how wrong I was.

The machine started slowly followed by the music, my mother desperatly trying to hold onto my hand , scared for her son and what he had been through......

Suddenly the speakers blare out 'Everybody Hurts' By R.E.M , my mum who knows about as much about music as Simon Cowells towell bursts into tears.

I just stared up at the grey machine. Nothing was going to make me feel better.

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User Reviews


Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-03 06:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Dadtoucher.

Submitted by paul_anthony (user info) at 2007-03-15 07:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

are you gay?

Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-07 17:01:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh my goodness.

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2006-10-31 18:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity 'happen'

-Jack

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-31 17:44:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

wewease Woger!

Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-10-31 10:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

needs more rape.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-31 09:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-10-31 09:34:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.
Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!

-- Homer Simpson
Last Exit to Springfield

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-10-31 09:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-10-31 09:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I think you are dying.














have a nice day!

Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-10-31 08:20:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

good story dude.

Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-31 08:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

He's taking funny talk.

-- Homer Simpson
Like Father, Like Clown

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-31 08:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-31 08:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON


Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-10-31 08:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

That fuckin sucks


I want to see more of this


Lisa: Dad, I think that's pretty spurious.

Homer: Well, thank you, honey.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment