31st and Guadalupe (Hummers and Homeless people figure in somewhere too) (474 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.62 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zoidberg (View user info) at 2006-11-02 10:44:42 EST
(1L/1M)
I sat and watched the homeless man argue with the trash can. That he was losing the argument, there was no doubt. His voice was getting progressively louder, drawing attention and making everyone at the bus stop hope he wasn't waiting for their route.
Really though, I kind of question my sanity at points like this. Is the homeless man's insanity really something I can feel smug about, when I'm actually sitting here trying to figure out what insightful things the trash can is saying that is so concisively winning the debate?
And as I sat there, watching a man get his ass verbally kicked by his subconscious, I started wondering how I'd react if the voices one day started talking back. You hold lots of conversations with yourself. "Do I need milk?" "Is she checking me out?" "What time do I need to be at the airport?"
But what do you do when someone else answers back?
I thought about the tears from relatives. Confessing to the guy I was dating that I heard voices, but how the pills were making me better. Early mornings before work made me think that maybe I'd be able to sleep in at the mental hospital, seeing a confinement in a sanitarium as little more than a month long retreat at a noisy youth hostel.
I gave a homeless woman some change once. I don't normally, but it was a cold night, and she was elderly. I figured if she spent the money on alcohol or drugs it would at least give her a few moments of enjoyment while she waits for the inevitable day that she will die on the streets. Alone. We can all hope for a peaceful in our own bed, surrounded by loving friends and family. But where does a homeless person wait to die? I left the woman with the glowing sense of altruism and self-worth that can only be found in a breast of a man who, saying much, does little; but does little and then says very much.
My newfound feeling of magnanimity was a bit deflated when I wished her to keep safe, and she smiled and told me thanks, but not to worry, she kept her knife close by. I only meant that she should look both ways before crossing at the busy streets she had to frequent. The consequences she regarded as normal in her social circles made my gift of a dollar odd and some change seem cheap, and overly smug. A gaudy bandaid for my middle class guilt. The 3 new Xbox games I was carrying as I left the store she was pandhandling outside of didn't help either.
The poor inhabit a special, muted hell quite apart from our own. While they are content largely to survive, and glean what moments of pleasure they can from this life, we're content with Hummer H3's for each member of our family, and cable for every room in the house. Meanwhile our elderly die neglected and alone, and our children starve on weekends between cafeteria free lunches.
Sitting there though, back at the bus stop, I will admit it, I was cheering the trash can on. Just what was it saying that had by now driven this man to making threatening gestures with his fist? The argument had become animated enough to not need words, wild gestures sufficing for the losing party.
I thought a bit more about whether a dollar in change would help with the headache I could feel developing. Then I just stretched my shoulders and turned on my iPOD. This playlist took me 3 hours to perfect. And there it was. The solution to my headache. What this argument had really needed all along was a soundtrack.
User Reviews
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-01-29 01:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
GO BEARS WOO!!!
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-01-19 02:32:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2006-11-03 00:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-11-02 16:49:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
indeed
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2006-11-02 16:19:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this
Submitted by rillins (user info) at 2006-11-02 16:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more baby eating
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-11-02 16:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-11-02 15:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah thats why I just turned my Ipod up and largely ignored the guy
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-02 15:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
somehow this was both insightful and trite.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-02 14:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-02 12:41:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<stares at Zoidy's sign>
WAR VET PLEASE HELP GOD BLESS YOU
<drops +2 in bucket>
<leaves>
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-11-02 12:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I plowed into one (trashcan, not a homeless person) the other day when I was reading/walking home.
They're shifty!
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-02 11:37:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-11-02 11:10:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
I saw a drunk Scottish guy start a fight with a bin on Oxford Street the other day.
He managed to knock it over, but then he fell over too. Think it was a draw.
HAHHAHAHAHAHAH
btw, there is a superfluous 'drunk' in the above sentence. By default Scottish people are drunk.
What you said is somewhat akin to saying I saw a dark skinned black man start a fight with a bin.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-11-02 11:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-11-02 11:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I saw a drunk Scottish guy start a fight with a bin on Oxford Street the other day.
He managed to knock it over, but then he fell over too. Think it was a draw.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-02 11:01:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-02 10:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fag above and below
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-02 10:56:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-11-02 10:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-11-02 10:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't we all, fag below, don't we all
fade to black
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-02 10:45:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you like men